A/N: Thanks for the reviews, peops. Despite the sadness of the end of the previous chapter, you did all seem to enjoy the beginning of it at least, so that's cool. A little more sadness here, I'm afraid, but keep holding on, dear readers, because it will be okay in the end, I promise ;)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 20

The moment Rory saw her mom at the airport, she ran to her, hugging her tight, hanging on for dear life.

"Hey, baby girl," said Lorelai, with evident joy and relief in her voice as she squeezed her back. "I missed you soooo much."

"I missed you too," Rory choked out, wishing she could control herself better but knowing that she couldn't.

It was going to seem strange, crying and bawling like a baby about simply coming home, and then Mom was going to ask what was wrong and Rory was going to have to tell her. It wasn't that she minded sharing so much, she was always perfectly fine with telling Lorelai anything at all, but not like this, not in the middle of a crowded airport where she was going to make such a complete fool of herself.

"Rory?" Lorelai frowned as she pulled back and saw just how hard she was crying. "Oh, sweetie, come on, it's okay," she said, wiping tears from Rory's face with a gentle hand. "I know it's probably really weird coming back home without Jess after all that time you guys spent together, but he'll be here before you know it."

It took everything Rory had to force out an answer to that, but she had to say something. She couldn't lie to her mom. She really never had before and she certainly didn't intend to start now.

"No, he won't."

"Well, sure, it's a long drive," Lorelai considered, still not getting it. "It might be a few days but-"

"Mom, please." Rory shook her head so hard, only succeeding in dislodging further tears from her red-rimmed eyes.

"Rory, what's going on?"

The frown creasing her mom's brow was as much full of worry and concern as it was confusion and only made Rory feel worse. Still, she couldn't bear to say too much here. Her eyes darted left and right, seeing people who would stare and try to listen in, wondering what was wrong with the strange girl bawling like her heart would break in the middle of Arrivals.

"Can we please just go home?" she said swallowing hard. "I promise I will explain, but... but not here," she said pointedly.

Though Lorelai looked less than thrilled, she did nod her agreement. One arm went around her daughter's shoulders, her free hand going to the other end of the baggage cart handle as she helped steer it out to the car.

There was a small sigh of relief that escaped Rory's lips then, glad to keep the unhappy truth to herself for a little while longer at least. It was almost as if it wasn't true for as long as she didn't talk about it, even though Rory knew that made no sense. The pain, like a hole right through her heart, told her very clearly that it was very much true, all too real.

In the car, she could pretend it wasn't so bad. She asked Lorelai about the inn and how things were going with Luke. Those were happy topics and it wasn't so hard to smile on hearing that everything was good. Forty minutes of work success and dating joy was a great tonic to Rory, but as Hartford turned into Stars Hollow, and the Crap Shack came suddenly into view, she was very much aware the subject was about to change.

They barely cleared the front door, bags in both their hands, with Rory only glad to note that neither Babette not any other neighbour or friend had spotted them on the way in and asked any questions. That didn't mean she wasn't going to have to answer whatever her mom asked next and Rory knew very well what it was going to be.

"Okay, so, you are way too sad for a girl who isn't going to see the boyfriend for just a few days," she said, as they dumped all the bags in Rory's bedroom without bothering to think about unpacking right now. "What's going on, sweets?"

Rory opened her mouth to explain, sure at first that nothing was going to come out but sobs and wails. She wasn't so very wrong about that. Much of the real meaning and substance of what she had to explain got lost and had to be repeated as she and her mom sat on the bed, Lorelai's arms wrapped tightly around her precious girl as Rory told the whole story.

She started with how great her adventuring road trip had been with Jess, how happy they had been for as long as they were out in the world together, but they both knew a return to reality was imminent. In California, they faced up to the truth, at last, and of course, that was that.

"So, it had to be over," Rory explained. "I know it probably sounds wrong and stupid to you, because you just care that I'm upset and you probably want to blame Jess, but it's not all on him, Mom. I don't blame him. We made the mature decision, I know we did, because he would've been miserable here, and I would've been miserable if I had to give up Yale and being here with you, and... and there just wasn't a good answer except... well, we just had to end it."

She really did want to be able to say all that without breaking down again, but Rory couldn't do it, she just couldn't. Lorelai pulled her close again, her head on her chest as she shushed her and told her she was so, so sorry that she was hurting.

"You know, what? For what it's worth, I actually don't blame Jess this time," said Lorelai softly, one hand stroking Rory's hair yet. "I mean, do I love that he wouldn't prove how much he loved you by coming back here and being with you, even if it wouldn't be his first choice of places to live? No," she admitted, continuing lightning-fast, the way Gilmore girls were prone to do, before Rory could jump in Jess' defence. "But I also get that changing yourself or your life for someone else, well, there has to be compromise in any relationship, but there's a point where you know, you just know you're going to end up resenting the other person for making you change too much, and that leads to no good," she said, sighing heavily. "It was why I couldn't marry Max."

"That was different," said Rory, looking up at her mom. "I mean, wasn't it?"

"I don't think so." Lorelai shook her head slightly as she considered it. "You know he loved me and I did love him, in a way. He made me happy and I like to think I made him happy too, but we just... we didn't fit in each other's lives. He wanted a role with us that I couldn't give him, and I'm pretty sure, in the end, he would've wanted me to be the kind of wife I would never know how to be, so it had to be over. It doesn't mean we didn't care about each other or that we didn't want to make each other happy, but sometimes, the sacrifice is too big, you know?"

Rory sniffed hard. "I know," she admitted, face crumbling again in a moment as tears overtook her.

Lorelai tried to be comforting, she really did, and Rory wanted to feel better for all the kind words, hugs, and promises that it would feel better in time. Unfortunately, none of it seemed to do much good. All Rory could think about was how very definitely over it was this time for her and Jess.

Before, she had always considered there might just be a chance. Their ending had been so ambiguous the last time. Neither one of them ever really officially ended things. Jess left, but he always came back, and then he said he loved her and Rory knew she had always loved him too. It seemed like a possibility for all those months and then finally the chance of something became a reality.

Three glorious months of summer fun, of love and adventure, of the relationship she and Jess should have had from the beginning. From so high to so low in the space of a few days, it was no wonder Rory felt like she had been put through the ringer, but if even her mom was agreeing that she and Jess made the right call to end things when they did, then surely, it had to mean this was all for the best, no matter how much it hurt, right?

"You're an idiot!"

Rory's eyes were wide with surprise when Paris practically yelled in her face like that. Not that she should be at all shocked that her so-called friend would say something so mean to her. Paris Geller was nothing if not completely honest and horribly blunt. She told a person exactly what she thought and pulled no punches. Still, Rory hadn't quite expected that when she spilled all the details of her summer, including its sad ending, Paris would start calling her names.

"My God, Gilmore, how can you be so vacant? I know you're not actually stupid, there's no way you could've kept up with me at Chilton or got into Yale if you were."

"Uh, not to be picky, but I actually surpassed you at Chilton," Rory pointed out, feeling like she was allowed to get one low-blow in if her friend was. "Valedictorian, remember?"

"Don't care, remember?" Paris countered crossly, folding her arms across her chest. "You may be book-smart, but dear God, your stupidity when it comes to the men in your life really takes the cake. I can't exactly claim to be the world expert in men, I have only seriously dated the two, but it doesn't take a genius to know that you and Mariano are classic Romeo and Juliet."

Rory frowned at the analogy. "If that were true then I hardly think my mom and his uncle would be dating," she pointed out. "Also, I think we're doing a little better than Romeo and Juliet. We ended with a break up, not suicide."

"Don't be fooled, Gilmore. The play's not over yet," Paris pointed out. "Your stupid 'mature decision' to break up now so you don't break up later is an ill-advised interlude, not an Act 5 climax. You do love him, don't you?"

"Well, I... Of course, I do," Rory stammered. "Yes, I do," she repeated with more confidence as Paris glared at her yet.

"You love him and he clearly loves you. Only two people in love could be as crazy this summer as you two have been." Paris rolled her eyes. "You had as close to a true love story as real life ever sees. Do you know what most people would give to have that and actually make it last?"

Her eyes went sideways to the antique printing press that took up more than half the main room of the dorm and Rory felt sick in her stomach. Poor Paris. As weird as it had been to watch her date a guy that was old enough to be her grandfather, she really did care about Asher a lot. Maybe they weren't true love's dream or anything, but it had clearly become that much more than a foolish dalliance between a professor and a student. Now, it was all over, not because of a break-up, well-intentioned or otherwise, but because Asher Fleming had died.

"You can't compare what happened with you and what happened with me," said Rory after a while, speaking too softly and she knew it. "I just... You losing Asher is terrible, obviously, but you can't say that I should've tried harder to find a way to be with Jess just because your boyfriend passed away."

"I can say whatever the hell I want actually," Paris pointed out, "and I pity the fool who ever tries to stop me."

A slight smirk pulled at her lips when she said it, the closest she had come to smiling at all in the past three days since they had been back at Yale. Mostly she had cried and mourned, been too busy with that and arranging a wake to really talk to Rory until now. Today, when she finally asked Rory what happened with 'Holden Caulfield', of course, she told her everything, though she was starting to wonder now if that had been the wrong choice.

Heaving a sigh, Paris sat down hard in the nearest armchair. "I think it's safe to say that, one way or another, we're both pretty bad at relationships" she admitted. "Though I guess while the break-up with Jamie was my own fault, I can't really be blamed for Asher leaving me."

"Of course not," Rory assured her, moving to sit beside her on the arm of the chair. "I know he really cared about you, Paris."

"Sure." She nodded in agreement. "I mean, come on, even I'm not so high maintenance that a guy would rather die than be with me, right?"

"Paris, don't even joke about that," said Rory firmly. "I'm just so sorry that it had to end up like this," she said, her hand on her friend's shoulder in what she hoped would be a comforting way - it was sometimes hard to tell how Paris would take these things.

"For what it's worth," she replied, eyes fixed on the printing press even now, "I'm sorry things couldn't work out for you and Mariano. Maybe you did make the smart choice, breaking up before you could make each other miserable... again," she added, with one more heaving sigh.

"Yeah, maybe," Rory echoed, though she had to admit, if only inside her own head, that she was regretting it already.

The past few nights, lying alone in her bed with only her thoughts to keep her company, it was impossible not to run through all the possible scenarios and all the pros and cons of each.

What if she could have convinced Jess to come back with her and try Stars Hollow again? What if she had just switched schools, taken her same courses at Harvard or Princeton or somewhere else entirely, so she and Jess could start fresh in some other place? What if they had both just thrown away the past and built some new kind of unknown future together?

"Rory?"

She actually had to shake herself to get back to reality when she heard Paris say her name.

"Huh?"

"We can get through this, right?" said Paris, staring up at her with the most vulnerable expression on her face that Rory was sure she had never seen before, apart from in the mirror, of course.

"We can," she promised her friend faithfully. "We're stronger than most people. Women like us have to be."

"You got that right." Paris nodded her agreement, turning away to stare at the printing press some more.

She was still hurting so much, Rory knew. After all, she was sure the pain in her own heart was going nowhere for a good long while yet, and at least she knew Jess was out there in the world somewhere, unlike Asher Fleming.

Actually, Rory wondered which one really was worse. At least Paris knew her guy hadn't left her on purpose, he didn't get a choice. Jess had made his decision, along with Rory, who had agreed to it because she knew she had to. Did that mean they were right? Lorelai seemed to think so and even Luke had made noises like he could agree, and yet, Paris was so against it.

Rory shook her head and decided to think about anything else. After all, rightly or wrongly, she and Jess had said their goodbyes and that was an end to it. She was just going to have to prove what she said to Paris, that they were strong enough to get through this. Rory couldn't really see she had any other option.

To Be Continued...