Chapter 20

When Steven opened his eyes, his first action was to sigh. He knew which day it was and only wanted to close them and wake up the next day. He hated his birthday. Which is why he never talked about it. Nobody ever asked him the date and that was fine. Nobody knew about it and nothing was planed, as he hoped. So why did his heart hurt so much? His throat was strangled by a snake and his gashed heart was bleeding. Driven by a mechanical gesture imprinted in his mind, the young man sat down on his futon, took a notebook and added a line to the last page.

- A black cat man investigating (Blacksad)

- A British agent in a casino (James Bond)

- A soldier fighting a giant robot (Metal Gear Solid)

His pen floated above the sheet for a moment. He felt like he was forgetting something. Especially since he usually put two or three lines in the morning. He made an effort to remember but he was facing a wall. The access to what he was looking for had been condemned. He thought he was probably overthinking and he didn't want this today. He still wondered why he felt so bad. He expected to be a bit depressed for his twentieth birthday, but it was more painful than usual this year. Since he was waking up with energy and good humor every morning for more or less six months, it was curious. Without knowing why, even the most complicated days started to have an aftertaste of sugar since this day.

The past year had been one of the happiest in his life he remembered. His dreams, or visions, still intrigued him and the war with the Sokora had plunged Konoha into a state of terrible tension which made everyone really nervous, but he also had many good moments. Watching over Naruto and his classmates was sometimes difficult. They often fought and wanted to borrow Steven's stuffs all the time, which made him regularly worry that they might break them. And yet, despite the overflowing energy of Naruto, the stubbornness of Tenten, the savagery of Kiba and the emo-like depression of Sasuke, he would not have traded a single moment with them for all the gold in the world.

Steven finally got up from his futon and went to the living room, without going through the bathroom to comb his bushy strand. The place was empty of course. Nothing had moved since last night. The computer was still on the table near a graveyard of iced tea cans. He sighed, remembering that he would be the only one using it today. Not without a certain pride which left his other acquaintances doubtful, he had succeeded during these four years in transforming these kids who gravitate around him into real geeks. Each one with his own passion.

Naruto was the biggest fan of Dragon Ball in the group. Steven had repeatedly caught him using his equipment without permission to watch the series once again. Very quickly, the adventures of Luffy, Asta and Natsu followed. He was constantly trying to invent combat techniques inspired by those he had seen. Several of his classmates laughed at him for that, but for once, he didn't care. In the end, he became a big fan of shonen, as well as multiplayer games.

He was often in competition with Kiba, who became, to the surprise of Steven, a superhero enthusiast, to the point of almost converting his sister, Hana. She almost thanked the stranger for having introduced them to her little brother, with some disguised allusions under her very Japanese modesty. These stories seemed to have given the child a bit of joy after the death of his father, as well as a shelter where he could cultivate motivation away from the troubles which agitated his clan. This super adventures calmed him down, as long as no one criticized his admiration for Superman.

Which often happened when he was with Sasuke. From the day he spoke to Steven, the young Uchiha had become an unconditional fan of Batman. He had devoured all the series and films like pac gums. The young Englishman had shown him other stories after that. Some interested him, but he hadn't appreciated one with as much passion as the dark knight's ones. Steven hadn't insisted very long. He considered that the most important was not how many licenses he liked, but the fact that he came to spend time with him and the others. Despite the displayed rivalry he had with Naruto, as a ninja, and with Kiba, without ever admitting it, as a superhero fan, Sasuke was with them.

And if there was an argument, Steven could count on Tenten to calm them down, unless it was really serious. The young stranger appreciated the presence of the little kunoichi. Not only was she quieter than her friends, but she often asked Steven for advices and listened to him with great attention. He quickly understood that she was not just playing for fun. She was a technician looking for continuous improvement. Once, during a small understandable depression after facing the Capra demon, the girl had confessed that her specialization in the use of weapons required an apprehension of combat close to the one in the games she loved. That's why she listened to Steven's advice, because it also helped her with her ninja training.

The silence in the apartment was very heavy and painful. Steven was no longer used to it. Even when this little hyperactive group was not here, the young man had things to do or people to hang out with. Sometimes, Shikamaru came to play cards or strategy games. They didn't talk much, but they respected each other in their own way, because they respected each other's desire for peace. Other times, Anko would come to make fun of him or ask him to pay her dangos. She had become very talkative since she discovered he had a salary. She claimed he owed her that after the incident of their meeting.

However, today, no one would come. Not even Rhiannon and her Disney fangirl group. Unsurprisingly, the end of their studies at the academy had pushed the young ninjas into the arms of senseis who took care of their training and sent them on missions, numerous regarding the actual circumstances. This was also the case with Ria's group. As a result, the past few weeks had been very peaceful for her and Steven. Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Tenten… All of them were working for the village. Including Anko, who was gone for more than a month on a mission she couldn't say anything about.

Naruto and Sasuke were going to the land of waves, with their partner Sakura and their sensei Kakashi. A simple escort mission according to them. Kiba and Shikamaru were with Ino outside the village too. With nothing else to do, Ria had immersed herself in her training with even more zeal while Steven had taken refuge in his games. And until today, that hadn't been a problem for him.

Six months earlier, he had woken up with some sort of small depression followed, a few days later, by an enormous explosion of joy, as if he had been caressed by an angel. And now it was the exact opposite. His heart had been torn from him and he was bleeding an icy grief in the middle of an empty and dark mansion. Now that there was silence, he felt like he had returned to his old life. Or rather, to be more precise, that all that he had was only to hide something that had never changed.

The young man collapsed on the sofa like an old toy. He tried to think of something else, but without success. He then took his MyPhone-3 with a distracted hand. He chuckled when the object reminded him of the day Naruto had stolen it from him while he slept. The little ninja had toured the village at least three times with the geek after him, swearing that he was not the culprit. In the end, the next day, Steven found the device in his hands, the battery exhausted. Naruto still declared that he hadn't touched it. Steven was not convinced but was not angry. It just was fun to talk about it from time to time. It was a more amusing memory for the blonde tornado than the punition Steven had given him when he had stolen the scroll of seals. Naruto had admitted not having the courage to return without being a real Genin. Steven understood this, but that didn't alleviate the punishment that followed, which was to not leave the apartment until he finished Sekiro. It had been a very long month.

Steven thought of getting up and going to a secluded place for the rest of the day. But even for that he had no energy. He felt like a dying man who was finishing his last breath. He didn't notice the quick steps outside and jumped when there was a knock on the door. Like a puppet moved by the strings of politeness and curiosity, he went to her and opened it to discover the most distressing thing ever.

He believed Tenten had gone on a mission. Yet she was in front of him with her usual pink outfit. When the astonishment subsided, Steven realized that she was shaking. Her eyes were red and wide open. Before he could say anything, the girl clung to him and screamed.

"You have to help me! You have to do like the other times! It's a lie! You have to tell them! I ... I don't understand anything! "

Steven received this hurricane of supplications without moving. His mind didn't even know where to start. He heard other steps approaching. He turned his empty head towards their origin and discovered a plump woman who was struggling to catch her breath. The geek questioned Tenten's mother and discovered in her eyes a grief as great as the one of her daughter.

The next day

It was not raining, clouds half hid the sun, a dull banality prevailed. For anyone else, this day was an ordinary one, a forgettable one. There were more people than Steven imagined. In a way, he was glad of this. Even if the young Englishman did not know him very well, Akahiko Hasaki deserved nice funerals. The geek and Tenten's father had never spoken much since the day the geek had saved him from dishonor, and he had barely spoken a few words to him on the rare occasions when they had crossed paths, but the geek had nevertheless developed a real respect for him.

Steven looked at the assembly of black kimonos with a sad look. The guests were mainly ninjas from Akahiko's former unit, before his accident. He immediately recognized the two members of Tenten's team, Rock Lee and Neji Hyuga, as well as her sensei: Maito Guy. He only knew them by name, and by their reputation on the internet before his arrival. Lee and Guy had a very peculiar look which caught his eye as soon as they arrived at the cemetery. Tenten found them too noisy, but nevertheless fun and reliable. She appreciated even more the time she spent with Steven thanks to them. As for the Hyuga, the geek did not appreciate his arrogant look, which he seemed to keep even at this moment. If he did not know Hinata, he would have had good reason to hate the entire clan.

The stranger was partly surprised to see the Sandaime and Tsunade-sama, accompanied by Rhiannon. Although a little out of the way, all three seemed to be grieving too. He understood for Ria because she had spent almost as much time with Tenten as he did. This child really loved to talk about her father's efforts to teach her how to use weapons and the art of making them, despite his disability. Each technique he taught her, they seemed to have learned them a bit too through her. Today she was just an empty doll.

The young kunoichi was no longer shedding tears. She hadn't expressed any emotion since this morning. Steven had tried to express his condolences to her, but she hadn't even reacted to his presence. Her mother told him that she didn't talk to anyone. If her mother didn't take her by the hand, she would do absolutely nothing. It was not that she ignored or repelled people. Tenten was blocked. Her mind was no longer listening to anything. She didn't even eat or sleep. The only words she said from time to time were: "I don't understand."

Everybody understood. How could a child understand what could lead her father to commit suicide? The announcement of his death also surprised Steven. His business seemed to be going well and he had just returned from a business trip which was apparently successful, but he knew that Akahiko regretted his past as a ninja and that he had problems of addiction to gambling. Before the ceremony, the young Englishman had heard his relatives say that he was regularly depressed because of that. It didn't surprise many people.

Steven was sorry for him. According to Tenten, he was sometimes grumpy and severe, and even rascal, but he had always been fair when he trained Tenten, had made himself the weapons she used, even if it meant working the entire night, and he had always been there for Tenten and his wife. Steven wondered a bit what had pushed him to do this. His gaze plunged into the black stone that made up his altar, he remembered certain painful moments from his own past which made his compassion for the lame old man grow even more. A touch of envy mingled with his thoughts in front of all this assembled persons who came to say goodbye.

When it was his turn to express his condolences to the family of the deceased, he chased all these thoughts from his mind, which he considered a little out of place. He pronounced the few appropriate Japanese words he had been taught for this kind of event. He thanked the sandaime for that. He saw that Tenten had not reacted to his words. In fact, she hadn't done it for anyone. On her white face, his memories projected themselves. He had seen her screaming in anger at the orphan of Kos, laughing of Gintoki Sakata and sparkling with joy when she used for the first time the BFG 9000. Seeing her so livid broke the young man's heart.

Steven put a knee on the ground, under the intrigued look of Mrs. Hasaki, and stared at the girl in the eyes. He repeated his condolences to her. Tenten did not move. Sad about his failure, Steven just stood up, bowed one last time to Tenten's mother and turned on his heel. Before he made a step, he heard the girl's weak voice.

"I don't... understand."

Later that day

The black kimono was stored in the closet now. Steven collapsed on the couch. The day had been very long. After the funeral, he stayed with Tenten for a while, trying to make him a little conversation. His fixed and empty gaze made his heart ache even more than the strange depression that weighed him down. Her mother said she seemed a little more reactive in his presence. Steven didn't know if she was saying this to be nice or to give herself some hope, because little kunoichi didn't do much more. She just repeated the same words from time to time.

"I don't understand."

Few people came to speak to her. Her sensei and Lee had come and had done their best. However, even their impressive strength failed to break the wall of silence around her. Neji was with them but had done little more than the usual courtesies. Too busy watching over Tenten, the young Englishman considered this as good enough. He could not ask for much more from a Hyuga.

He was a little relieved when Ria and Tsunade came to see him before he left. His friend had asked how Tenten was doing, but he suspected that she was also worried about him. Steven had simply told them the factual truth, which saddened the girl with the wooden beads. The kunoichi doctor did not say a word at the start. She watched the mourning girl from a distance with a sorry look. According to her, Tenten was in shock. Her father's suicide was incomprehensible to her. Without taking her eyes off her, Tsunade explained that she would need time to recover.

After that, Steven had just returned to Naruto's apartment without saying another word. He needed time too. Once installed in the poorly lit room, sure that no one would come to see him anymore, Steven allowed himself to be invaded by everything he had retained to not collapse like a house of cards. One of the first friends he ever had was devastated and there was nothing more he could do to help her. Alone again, the young man remembered his own despair after the death of his grandfather and could only imagine what she was going through. As for Akahiko, he didn't know what to think. He didn't know the details of his life, but he understood him a bit. Killing himself, wanting to escape a pain so excruciating that it chokes you and only promises more of it every second passing by, he knew what it was. He understood this action. A drop beaded on the young man's cheek.

He remained in the dark, his cheeks wet, for a time lost in a fog. As he sailed silently in his grief, Steven heard a sound, a friction light as a breeze. He raised his head as heavy as a mountain and looked for the origin with a slow and fluid look. Then he found something that was not there before. It was lying on the floor, right in front of the door. Steven rubbed his eyes to remove the tears that were blurring his vision. He got up to satisfy his curiosity. He picked up the rectangle of paper and cardboard from the floor. It was a file.

The geek came out of the apartment to look for the person who left him that, but there was nobody. He closed the door behind him and looked at the mysterious document. He knew this kind of file. He hadn't seen one for a very long time, but he couldn't forget what the official Konoha police records looked like. Even less those from the morgue. Steven opened the cardboard door and widened his eyes.

Ria was a bit angry that she was dragging her feet. She dreaded seeing Steven at that moment. She wanted to be there for him, but she feared that she would fall into tears if her grief was added to the one of her friend. However, she had to see him. After taking Tsunade back to her apartments, she and her had a more heated discussion than she would have liked. The legendary kunoichi had reduced her alcohol consumption this recent years. Ria congratulated her for that. However, as soon as she got home, she almost threw herself on a bottle of sake. The redhead disciple, as well as Shizune, who had returned from the hospital, had tried to stop her, but without success.

Rhiannon tried to not judge her. For some reason she didn't know, Tsunade had taken this funeral very seriously. Shizune explained to her that it was probably because it reminded her of her loved ones. She didn't know if it was really that, but it was far from impossible. With an even heavier heart, the young woman left her sensei and her assistant. Ria didn't feel like the right person to try stop her from drinking, because she still remembered how she was, two years ago. When she remembered, she felt gratitude to the three young girls who had helped her out by sharing her secret passion with them. But they were all on a mission right now. Their small group could no longer meet as often as they would have liked.

As she wandered the quiet streets of the city, amidst the citizens who went about their usual business, she walked past Steven and Naruto's apartment. She remembered how much her friend had looked during the ceremony. She suspected that he was really not well at the moment. The girl therefore decided to visit him, to be sure that he could handle the situation. When she knocked on her door, she jumped when it opened on a dark-eyed Steven.

"Ria?" he wondered for a moment, before pronouncing. "Great. Tell me how you'd kill yourself with a blade. "

"Excuse me?!"

"I need an answer."

"Stop!" she cried. "You are scaring me now!"

Steven kept his dark and sharp gaze and grabbed his friend by the sleeve to drag her into the apartment. He slammed the door behind her. Ria discovered that the room was plunged into darkness. Steven had drawn the curtains and turned on a simple lamp to light the living room table. There were papers lying around, but she didn't have time to ask anything.

"Ria, he asked, this is very important. If you wanted to kill yourself with a blade, how would you do it? "

The question made the girl shiver, but the geek's insistence, his face half plunged into darkness worried her even more. Carried away by this, Ria replied, very uncomfortable.

"I guess... you would cut the veins on your wrists. Or those in your throat ... "

"Which gesture would be most effective for the throat?"

Tsunade's disciple understood from his intonation that he already knew the answer. He was asking for a confirmation. Ria therefore imitated the gesture requested with a slow, trembling finger that dared not touch her skin. Her movement started from one side of the throat to the other. She didn't think she could be even more worried, but Steven proved the opposite. As soon as her gesture ended, the geek clenched his fists and teeth. His face was marked by a beastly rage. The geek threw himself at the documents on his table and handed them to Ria in a quick gesture.

"I found this a few minutes ago." he said as Ria grabbed the papers. "Someone pulled it under my door. This is Akahiko Hasaki's autopsy report. "

"An autopsy ?!" her friend jumped, looking at the document. "What for?"

"Exactly. Why would you do an autopsy for a suicide? Look carefully: the coroner reports a cut that starts from the right carotid artery and ends at the level of the heart. He also indicates bruises in various areas of the body and a cut on the left forearm. "

The conclusion was logical. Yet Ria's mind couldn't admit it. Her gaze betrayed her hesitation and Steven put an end to it.

"It was not a suicide. Akahiko-san has been murdered. "

Ria's eyes widened, a thousand questions came to her mind.

"How... How is it possible? Why did nobody say it or... "

Steven anticipated what followed and replied.

"I do not know why. I also don't know who performed the autopsy. However, there is a message in the folder. A letter from the one who asked for it. Someone asked for this to be publicly declared as a suicide and that the truth would not be revealed."

"Who?"

Steven grabbed the small parchment covered with kanji and pointed in a brutal gesture that revealed how he was about to explode. She knew this seal. Steven too. She didn't dare believe what she saw. Steven brought her the terrible confirmation.

"The hokage himself."

References :

Blacksad, James Bond, Metal Gear Solid, Dragon Ball, One Piece, Black Clover, Fairy Tail, Superman, Batman, Pacman, Dark Souls, Sekiro : Shadows Die Twice, Bloodborne, Gintama, Doom