Chapter Twenty One

U is for Uneasy

"Comet, no!" Stephanie cried as her dog quickly sprang away from her to investigate a dead squirrel on the ground. She yanked hard at his leash, which caused her to lose her footing on top of the snow. She toppled to the ground and cried out in pain. As she looked at the ground, Stephanie realized the fall had been so painful because there had been ice underneath the snow. Comet's tongue liking her face momentarily distracted her.

"Get off. What am I going to do with you?" she wondered. She flexed her hands and winced. As she looked more closely, she realized the leash had cut into her right hand and caused it to bleed. 'I'd better clean myself up,' she thought. It took a few moments to get herself standing again. Fortunately, she hadn't walked far with Comet, so it didn't take time to gingerly walk back to her flat. Once she had released Comet from the leash and removed her shoes and coat, she headed for the loo, which was where she kept the first aid kit under the sink.

She carefully opened the box and was pleased to find Elastoplast, gauze, medical tape, antibiotic ointment, and Tylenol inside. She quickly tended to her hand and then swallowed two Tylenol. Her head was pounding, and she had bruises on her back, arse, and legs. She would be quite sore for a few days, she realized as she carefully sat down on the sofa. She reached for her tablet and quickly went online. It didn't take long to register Comet for a dog obedience class starting next month. Clearly, she can't afford to have an untrained dog any longer, Stephanie thought with a glance at her Labrador. She looked at the clock on the wall and gasped. With all this fuss, she realized that Leonard would be here soon for their date. While it was always a pleasure to see him, she wasn't feeling up to doing much tonight. She realized she would have to cancel, she thought with disappointment.

Using a tablet with one hand was something she often did, so it wasn't long before she had rung up Leonard and put the call on speaker.

"Hi, Stephanie. How are you?" came the voice of her boyfriend.

"I took a bit of a tumble thanks to Comet and this weather. I hate to cancel our date, but I'm feeling poorly enough right now to do so," she replied.

"How badly were you hurt?" he asked in concern.

"I'm bruised with a torn hand and a massive headache. I think I'll use some sick days so I can have a lie-in. Don't worry about me. I'll heal just fine on my own."

"I know, but I'd still like to come by and check on you. I want to take care of you."

"Are you sure I won't be a bother? You're probably tired of looking after sick people after a shift at the hospital."

"It's not an imposition. I'll be over there soon."

"See you then," she concluded and then ended the call.

She got up slowly from the sofa in the front room when she heard the doorbell. She hadn't given Leonard a key to her flat yet but maybe she should, she thought. Once she opened the door, Leonard came in quickly, which was not surprising considering the cold weather.

"Hey, Stephanie. How do you feel?" he asked.

"Sore, but I'll be fine soon enough."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now, I can see you've already seen to your hand and you've likely taken some painkillers." He paused and reached into the right hand pocket of his scrubs.

"I picked up this pain relief cream from Boots on the way here. Go to your bed and strip down to your undergarments so that I can message this into your skin. I'll leave the jar with you. You can reapply the cream up to three times a day. The bruises should fade in a few days," he continued.

"Yes doctor," Stephanie said as she realized Leonard saw her right now as a patient. He wryly smiled.

"That's never been a fantasy of mine, so don't even think about it. But I am serious about applying this cream to your body," he told her. She nodded and walked to her bedroom. She'd always liked Leonard's hands, she thought as she undressed.

She soon discovered there was a major difference between his touch when Leonard was focused on healing rather than arousing her. She knew he was a very skilled doctor as his surgeries after her traffic accident had saved her life. But now she saw that he really relished the opportunity to ease the pain of others. While she was glad that the cream did help to numb the pain, Stephanie felt somewhat uncomfortable until she realized that she wasn't used to having someone else show her this much compassion. Her father had always been occupied with his rigid and highly scheduled life. Between her own work in the evenings and having to raise them, her mother hadn't always had the time for her. She'd gotten on well with Alex, but he was four years older and a boy so there had been some things they would never have in common. In short, her family had never been this concerned about her after an injury or during an illness. Now that she reflected, Stephanie realized that neither had any of her previous boyfriends. Was this what being cherished felt like, she wondered. If so, it felt different than being loved.

"You OK there? You've gone quiet," Leonard asked as he removed his hands from her body.

"That feels much better. Thank you. Can I ask you another favour?"

"What is it?" he wondered as Stephanie got dressed in a jumper and loose pair of trousers.

"Can you make me some dinner before you go? There's a frozen pizza that needs to be cooked and I have some carrots and cucumber that should be chopped up."

"I will make dinner, but I'd also like to stay the night. I'll sleep on your futon." She nodded in agreement.

After they had eaten dinner, Leonard suggested they watch a movie on Netflix. Stephanie found she really didn't care for the action comedy, but she felt it was a little too early to go to bed just yet. But her body had other ideas and she soon fell asleep on Leonard's shoulder. She didn't even awaken as he carried her to the bedroom.

When she did finally wake up the next morning, it was to find she had been tucked up under the blanket. As she stretched carefully, Stephanie realized that she felt a great deal better now. She spotted her mobile on her nightstand and reached for it. As she lay back down again and pressed her finger to the back to unlock the home screen, she saw she had one new text. She opened up the text from Leonard to read:

Hope you had a good sleep. I'm off to pick up breakfast. Back soon.

'What a lovely man. I do love him,' she thought fondly. Stephanie sunk back onto the bed as she was struck by the truth of that realization. Bloody hell, when had that happened? Should she tell Leonard about her feelings now? Nothing was stopping her from doing so, except for the fear that her feelings for him would change over the long term which would lead to their break up. She'd been dating Leonard for fourteen months now, which was the longest time she'd ever been in a romantic relationship. In the past she'd been the one to end things most of the time, as Stephanie didn't like the feeling of being discarded as easily as a newspaper bought at a kiosk. Although she'd cared deeply about all of her exes, she'd only deeply loved her first boyfriend, Simon. But when his sister Rebecca had died and Simon had refused to allow her to comfort him, she realized he hadn't let her into his life nearly as much as she had. After that breakup, she'd been more guarded about revealing the depth of her feelings to the man she was dating.

She knew that Leonard cared deeply for her, but did he ever think about how he wanted to stay by her side no matter what for as long as he could? She had no idea of the answer to that and a part of her didn't want to know. So it was better to keep quiet and not speak up until she had a better idea of what Leonard wanted from her in regards to their future together. Besides, she knew that those three words weren't something to just blurt out. Saying or thinking them changed everything. Before she could dwell more on the subject, the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming," she called. It took longer than usual to walk there. She opened the door to find Leonard with a large takeaway bag from Greggs.

"Come in," she said as he took the food and drink out of the bag and placed it on the kitchen table. They sat down at the table and eat silently.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked after they had eaten.

"Yes. Thanks for coming over," she replied.

"You're welcome. Hello, Comet. You've been a bad dog lately, huh?" Even though his tone was stern, he still petted the dog which had now grown up to his knees since the first time Leonard had met him.

"I know the streets are slippery, but can you take him out for a walk?" she requested.

"All right, but it will have to be a short one. I need to buy some warmer boots today to deal with this storm front. I've never seen so much snowfall in London as what we had last night."

"Yes, we rarely get this much snow. But I suppose climate change means more extreme weather worldwide."

"Maybe so. I'll be back soon. Come on, Comet," he concluded. Leonard, his coffee, and her dog were soon out the front door. Stephanie took a sip of her own coffee. By now Leonard knew how she liked to drink it, black with one sugar, she reflected. Was there anything else he didn't know about her other than the depth of her feelings for him? She would tell him but not now. Accepting just how much she needed and cared for Leonard would take some time, Stephanie thought.