25. A Sensitive Topic or Two

For the first time in far too long, Ifan felt at home. Driftwood was just as he remembered it—maybe a few extra contaminated fish here and there—and he was eager to give Lorelai a tour.

The moment the ship had arrived in the Reaper's Coast, the group had headed to Driftwood. Sebille and Fane were scouting the town as, much to Ifan's delight, he had been recognized and nearly arrested the second he had stepped through the gates. Ever the peace-maker, Lorelai had bribed the magister with some of the gold they had pilfered from the Vault of Braccus. She had still been worried that other magisters would recognize Ifan, however, so she had convinced him to go to a safe place to lie low.

Thus, in the spirit of safety, Ifan had brought Lorelai to the underground crime den that housed just about every lowlife on the Reaper's Coast. It was good to be home.

"I have a question," Ifan said as he and a masked Lorelai sat together on the hard ground.

"Feel free to ask," Lorelai said quietly while she watched the outlaws milling about. She looked slightly nervous, especially as the people laughed boisterously with one another.

"Scratch that," Ifan said as he stared at her, partially dazed by the beauty of her profile. "I have two questions."

"I repeat my previous reply," Lorelai replied.

"First," Ifan said after a small chuckle, "I thought I saw you kill the Silent Monks on the ship." Ifan watched Lorelai closely, searching for a reaction, but Lorelai gave no hint to her feelings. She blinked, her long lashes fluttering in the torchlight, yet she did not speak. "Did you?" Ifan prompted without judgement.

Lorelai nodded calmly without even turning her head to face him. She looked utterly serene.

"I thought…" Ifan trailed off and wondered if he were broaching a sensitive topic.

"I have killed before, Ifan," Lorelai said with disarming nonchalance, "and I will likely kill again."

"Why?" Ifan asked simply. He was now certain he was treading into dangerous waters, so he kept his tone as soothing as possible.

"I fight to protect," Lorelai replied.

"Who?" Ifan inquired even though he knew the answer already.

Lorelai finally looked to Ifan and raised one thin eyebrow. "Ifan, dear one," she said indulgently, almost mockingly, "you are well aware that I employ violence to help my friends. I have done so in self-preservation, but such a thing is…" Lorelai's lip twitched in a miniscule display of distress. "If I may ask a question, however," Lorelai continued abruptly, sudden sharpness in her voice, "why do you care?"

Ifan recoiled at the uncharacteristic coldness, though her expression was again pure tranquility. "Didn't mean to pry," he said gruffly, and Lorelai sighed, placing one hand over her eyes for a moment.

"I… apologize," Lorelai said with pleading sincerity. "It has been quite some time since I killed someone, and I keep wondering if I could have done something differently. There were so many reasons I killed those Monks, so I know I ought to feel justified…"

"What were your reasons?" Ifan asked, careful not to seem at all judgmental.

"I was protecting Malady," Lorelai said, "and it is difficult to calculate how much force one should use to incapacitate but not kill when one is battling so many foes." Lorelai paused, and Ifan saw clear uncertainty in her face. "Additionally, the Silent Monks seem to be in so much pain," she finally murmured. "I am always so tempted to put them out of their misery."

Ifan nodded and patted her comfortingly on the shoulder. "I get it," he said. "I do. Thanks for telling me."

"Of course, dear one," Lorelai said warmly. The strange calmness was gone, replaced with a heartfelt fondness that made Ifan's breath catch. "Thank you for listening," Lorelai said. Ifan suddenly realized that he loved her voice. It was soothing, enchanting, and he wanted to listen to her for hours. "Now, I believe you had a second question?"

"Oh, r-right." Ifan cleared his throat and attempted to collect his thoughts. "What happened on the ship with Fane?"

For some reason, Lorelai blinked rapidly, her eyes wide. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"When Malady teleported us," Ifan clarified. "You two weren't with the rest of us."

Lorelai relaxed immediately, and a tiny, enigmatic smile flitted across her lips. "We had another meeting with Amadia," she explained. "I learned nothing of import," she said before Ifan could ask, "but Fane discovered that his entire race went extinct because of a power-hungry king."

Ifan did not particularly like the self-important Eternal, but he frowned sympathetically. "That's… hard to hear," he rumbled.

"…Yes," Lorelai whispered, her eyes fixed on the ground, and Ifan would bet anything that she was thinking about the fall of the elves. She looked back at him and smiled without a trace of unhappiness. "I know I say often that I wish I had remained in the forest," Lorelai began, "but I truly am glad to be here. With you. I am very happy to have met you."

Lorelai's expression was so open, so sincere, and her words were so honest that Ifan could not help a blush from creeping across his cheeks. "Er, thanks," he mumbled when he was articulate. "Truth be told, I doubt I would've managed any of this without you."

Lorelai beamed in response, and her smile was so absolutely dazzling that Ifan could barely remember to react when she drew towards him and clutched him in a tight hug. He was limp in her arms for a moment, but his increasing heart rate reminded him that he had to reciprocate, so he did. Just like always, Lorelai's skin was cool to the touch, but Ifan cherished the sensation.

It felt like years before Lorelai drew away, and her expression slowly fell until she was looking at him with an odd mixture of calculation and sadness. "Ifan, why exactly have you been avoiding me lately?" she asked solemnly. Ifan blanched and glanced away sharply. He considered playing dumb, but Lorelai was no imbecile.

"I've just been sorting some things out in my head," Ifan said. He knew he was being unnecessarily cryptic, but he could not quite muster up the courage to be more specific. Lorelai watched him, clearly expecting more, and Ifan felt compelled to look away again. He heard Lorelai make a small hum, and silence descended on the pair. Ifan shifted uncomfortably but added, "Look, it's my problem, not yours."

"…I understand," Lorelai replied, but the hurt in her voice was unmistakable. Ifan's heart thudded painfully, so he turned to her imploringly.

"I didn't mean anything by that," Ifan pleaded. "I'm sorry—I truly am." He sighed and scratched his head uncomfortably. "I only meant that nothing's your fault, and it's not as though I don't like you. I do like you, Lorelai. I like you a lot—more than I have anyone in a long time," he said rapidly, suddenly unable to stop speaking. "I don't want to think about going back to the Lone Wolves because I don't want to leave you. I've just been trying to… understand this," he stressed. "I shut you out because of that, and I'm sorry."

Before Lorelai had the chance to reply, a low whistle drew Ifan's attention to a group of outlaws playing cards at a nearby table. They all had shit-eating grins on their faces, and Ifan braced himself for what he knew was coming.

"Ben-Mezd has a crush!" one of the women called out in a singsong voice. The resulting whoops and raucous laughter inspired a blush on Ifan's face and a smirk on Lorelai's. She glanced at Ifan and wiggled her eyebrows teasingly.

"Is that so?" Lorelai asked, almost sarcastically.

"That's… about the truth," Ifan admitted with as much nonchalance as he could manage. In reality, he felt more nervous than he ever remembered feeling before.

The audience gasped and whistled while Lorelai gazed at him with an expression of utter shock. The seconds it took her to react were decades to Ifan, but her pleased smile was worth the wait. Even better was when she leaned towards Ifan and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. Cheers and laughter echoed through the Undercity, and Lorelai jolted as though she had only now noticed the leering crowd. She blushed lightly and smiled shyly at Ifan, who could barely hold her gaze in his embarrassment.

"I forgive you," Lorelai told him, "and I think I quite like you as well."

Then, to Ifan's flustered delight, she tipped so that her head was resting against his shoulder and closed her eyes with a soft sigh of contentment. Ifan aimlessly ran a hand through her curled hair as he tried to slow his heart rate to a normal level. The others in the Undercity were still smirking at him, but he was too ecstatic to care. Ifan felt like a heavy load had been lifted from his shoulders, that he could relax for the first time since the day he had met the mysterious elf talking to herself on the Merryweather. Ifan took a deep breath and decided to follow Lorelai's example. He leaned his head against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, a smile still on his face.

At that moment, Ifan knew his loyalties. He had been the confidante of Lucian, an agent of Roost, but now he could only think about her. Ifan knew in his soul that he would take on every single other person in Rivellon if it meant keeping her safe.

xXxXxXx

Lorelai kept her eyes closed even as she recognized Sebille's soft footsteps approaching. She wanted to savor this moment, to commit this unfamiliar emotion to memory, this warmth that filled her body and soul. She did not remember feeling this sense of peace ever since Dominik, the only person she had ever trusted implicitly, had died. She wondered if that meant she trusted Ifan implicitly, and she was unsure how she felt about that. What she did know, however, was that she was happy, relaxed, and content.

"Apparently," Sebille's amused voice interrupted Lorelai's tranquility, "I can't leave you two alone for one moment. The pair of you are the gossip of the hour."

"News spreads fast here," Ifan answered her in his self-assured tone, "and most of it is exaggerated."

"Mmhm," Sebille drawled with clear disbelief. "Lorelai," she said briskly, "we are all fully aware that you are not asleep." Lorelai smiled and cracked open one eye to regard Sebille. She did not remove her head from Ifan's shoulder, and he seemed perfectly content with that. "The Eternal and I found the Meistr," Sebille continued, and Lorelai perked up. "Unfortunately, she had been executed." Lorelai drooped, and Ifan cursed under his breath. "Fortunately," Sebille added, "we ransacked her home, found an intriguing laboratory, and spoke with the spirit of her assistant—well, the Eternal did. I, sadly, have no such power."

"Would you like it?" Lorelai inquired. She sat up but did not miss Ifan's sigh of disappointment when she did.

"I was hoping you would offer," Sebille said smugly.

Lorelai chuckled and looked to Ifan. "You?"

"Er… sure, why not," Ifan decided. Lorelai obligingly cast the spell twice, surprised slightly when it drained her energy at a rapid rate.

"Huh," Ifan said as he looked around. "Not too many spirits around here. I'm surprised."

"What did the Meistr's assistant say?" Lorelai prompted Sebille, who was inspecting an oblivious spirit nearby. Sebille reluctantly returned her attention to Lorelai.

"Mm, she instructed us to increase your Source abilities and gave us the recipe and ingredients to travel to the Hall of Echoes once, an act that apparently only a Godwoken can perform."

"That… is useful," Lorelai said. "Thank you."

"The elven clan that you are likely searching for is just east of here," Sebille said after a small nod of acknowledgement. Lorelai felt a bolt of terror and anticipation at Sebille's words, and her posture tensed almost painfully. "I also learned that Roost is somewhere in the north," Sebille added. She lowered her voice after a cursory glance around and took a step closer to Lorelai. "He is offering a hefty reward for the heads of Godwoken," she said. Ifan frowned deeply, and Sebille regarded the pair with a grave expression. "They are specifically searching for a female Undead elf. We must be careful."

"Where'd you hear all this?" Ifan asked suspiciously as he rose to his feet.

"A Lone Wolf," Sebille replied with a casual flick of her hand. "He was pretending to be some noble, but the noble's lingering spirit informed our Eternal companion of the farce. A few twists of the needle later, I had information in hand and a dead Wolf at my feet."

"…Well, we all know the risks when we join the Lone Wolves," Ifan said, but Lorelai could tell he was affected. "Do you know why they're collecting Godwoken?" he asked briskly. "Might be important."

"I'm afraid we will have to ask Roost that," Sebille said with a crooked grin. "It should be an interesting conversation, given our association with the Godwoken. To think that, in a different world, your target could have been Lorelai."

"That would have been a shame," Lorelai said, wondering how badly she would have been forced to hurt Ifan if he had tried to kill her.

"Yeah, I can't say that's a nice thought," Ifan murmured. His expression was troubled, so Lorelai smiled at him.

"I would have charmed you into sparing my life," she informed him confidently. "I believe we would have ended up in just about the same place as we are now."

Ifan gave her a sharp-toothed grin and helped her to her feet. He looked her up and down, then nodded. "And if you didn't manage to charm me, I'd be the one worse for wear," he said humorously.

"As adorable as the two of you are," Sebille said while Lorelai and Ifan were sharing a smile, "this is not the most discreet place to speak of these matters."

"Mm, true," Lorelai said. She stretched and could not help notice Ifan staring at her with a dazed expression, only stopping when Sebille cleared her throat. Ifan glanced at her, and she winked at him. "And where is Fane?" Lorelai inquired, pretending not to notice Ifan's discomfort and Sebille's amusement as the trio made their way to the entrance of the Undercity.

"He began arguing with a man in the square about history books," Sebille replied, "so I simply left him there."

"I hope he did not get lost," Lorelai fretted. "Or banned from a civilized establishment for insulting everyone there."

"The latter is more likely," Sebille said, "but either would be amusing."

Lorelai surveyed her companions: the mercenary who held her affection, the assassin whom Lorelai trusted without reservation, and the currently-absent Eternal who was growing to be a friend. Lorelai could not think of a time when she had felt more content with her lot.