They Hold the World

Chapter 26: Devolving

Sasuke

"Do you still play?"

It was a question of an unusual nature, but even more so was the quietness in such a tone. A whisper that wafted like the smoke coming from one of Hinata's candles - perhaps the Eucalyptus one, because somehow Sasuke found that one's smoke to be a more ashen white rather than a misty grey. White and spiraling like a ribbon, the whisper pulled him out of his reading, and Sasuke stilled his drumming fingers on the side of the textbook as he looked up to see Shisui hovering by his bedroom door's frame, eyes so dark that even the lamp's light from within the room could not reach them.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked, laying the book on his knee as he turned all his attention on the other Uchiha, an occurrence that would have never happened a mere three weeks ago.

Shisui leaned a bit into the room, never stepping in, but his neck craned as he got a good look of what he could see of the room. Sasuke waited, wondering what he was searching for. "The drums." Shisui's back straightened. "Do you still play?"

Curling his fingers so that his knuckles popped, he said, "Yes."

"Where? There's not a set here."

"At Naruto's."

Shisui's eyes narrowed, but that was all that escaped him. He pushed his hands in his pockets, and said, "Go tomorrow." Those eyes scanned the room once again, as if memorizing it, before they went back to Sasuke. "And bring me with you."

That got Sasuke frowning. "Why?"

"Hmm?" Shisui rubbed his cheek with a pale hand, tilting a bit to the side. "I've always wanted to hear you play."

He couldn't tell what was off about this conversation, but Sasuke couldn't help the jitter in his knee as he stared his cousin down. Shisui caught him staring and looked back, not so much in a defiant way - but it was more like he was letting him into his head, as if showing him he had nothing to hide. But Sasuke wasn't looking for that. Instead, he was trying to find where the sudden interest came from. "Naruto doesn't like you."

At that, Shisui smiled. "I don't mind."

That's not what I meant. Sighing, Sasuke picked up his textbook and settled back into his reading position, letting Shisui know this talk was about to end. "If I say no, what are you going to do?"

"Pester you. Beg you." Shisui leaned his head against the frame. "Kidnap you and take you there myself."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. We'll go tomorrow." He flipped to the next page, not really reading the words, for his mind was in a different place. A land of confusion and wonder. He took a final peek at his cousin, who was leaning in to grab the knob of his door. "I don't get why you're suddenly so interested."

"You don't have to," Shisui said. "All you have to do is play."

The door closed, and the flame died out, leaving behind darkness and the smell of smoke.

Nearing 10:00 the next morning, Sasuke was knocking on Shisui's door for perhaps the seventh time that minute. For someone who was so insistent on leaving and seeing him play, he was sure taking his sweet time. The next pattern of knocks were loud and bringing out Sasuke's irritation, and when no reply came, he ran a hand through his hair, and hissed, "Get your lazy ass out of bed. We're leaving in five minutes."

No movement. Not stirring. Nothing.

But just as Sasuke was about to kick the door down (or at least kick it hard enough to scare the damn bastard out of his bed), a muffled voice sounded on the other side. "I'm already up, Sasuke. Some of us weren't born with such a gorgeous face and have to take time to get ready."

Leaning against the door, Sasuke said, "You got five minutes to put on your make-up."

"Oh, Sasuke, dear - my eyes aren't even done yet. And my hair? Dreadful." Running water could be heard as the pipes rustled into action. Not as loud as a shower, so it must have been a sink, meaning that Shisui was in the connected bathroom.

What the hell? Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Is he really putting on make-up?

"Four minutes."

"You're so impatient."

Face flaring up with anger, Sasuke twisted his hand around the knob, found that it was unlocked, and shoved his shoulder into the door as he entered. The room was spacious and void of all decoration aside from a few framed pictures on the desk, but Sasuke only gave the room a glance as he made his way to the door of the bathroom, which was cracked open. He only got a look of wild, black hair in the reflection of the mirror over the sink before it was shut. Sasuke blinked, a bit startled.

"You're beyond impatient." The voice on the other side was low and cool. "So much so that you're testing my patience."

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke tapped his fingers on the side of his thigh as he said, "If you're really that embarrassed about your hair, then you should have gotten up sooner."

Almost immediately, Shisui opened the door, eyes fresh and sharp and almost hidden under his messy, tangled locks. "It's not my hair I was worried about." He walked past him, ruffling Sasuke's hair as he did so, making the younger Uchiha sneer as he tried to straighten it back out. "Because you may have the face, Sasuke, but unlike you, I can make any hairstyle work." Shisui grabbed his jacket off the back of his desk's chair and threw it over his shoulder before turning and smiling at Sasuke. "Even the dreadful kinds."

...

Ten minutes later, Naruto opened his front door, met the face of who he very much believed would one day be his killer, and gave a proper scream. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Sasuke winced and shoved past him to get into the warm house. "Shut up, dumbass," he said, literally pulling Naruto to the side so that Shisui could step inside and close the door. "I told you in my text he was coming."

Naruto snapped out of his stupor and glared at him. "I thought that was some sort of sick joke."

"Sasuke's incapable of joking," Shisui mused as he kicked off his boots before stepping further into the house. "He has no humor."

Choosing to not comment, Sasuke took off his winter gear before turning back to Naruto. He looked white in the face as his eyes never left the back of the other Uchiha. Like he was looking at a ghost - or worse, the Grim Reaper. Sasuke snorted and began into the house, a nervous Uzumaki following after him. "We're going to the Noise Room."

"What happened?"

He didn't have to look at Naruto to know he was worried.

"Nothing." Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and walked down the hallway that led to the back of the house. "Just wanted to play."

They got there quickly. Sasuke opened the door and Shisui slipped inside first while Sasuke lingered in the hall.

"You staying out here?" he asked Naruto

"I'm not going to be in a room with that guy any longer than I have to." Blue eyes narrowed with seriousness. "And frankly, Sasuke, I don't know why you are."

"He's family." Was it really that weird? Well, even for Sasuke, something about this whole situation felt surreal. This room used to be the one place he could get away from Uchihas, and now, here he was, letting one in willingly - and not just any one. This was Shisui, the man who he used to curse silently at before falling into a nightmare-fueled slumber.

Naruto rubbed his neck and frowned. "That didn't matter before."

He was right. But that was then, and this was now. And now . . . Shisui was no longer that name he hated so desperately. Opening the door for himself, Sasuke stared at the carpet and muttered, "We won't take long."

He entered the room and closed the door behind him, trying to ignore the stir in his chest as he went to the back shelves and pulled out his drumsticks. Shisui was sitting to the side, legs crossed as he strummed lightly at an electric bass that wasn't plugged in. Sasuke eyed him as he sat behind his drum set. "That was Itachi's." Shisui looked up from the bass. " The only thing of his I got my hands on before Mom and Father stored everything away."

Shisui's eyes flickered. "I know." His right hand traced the red, fire design on it. "Do you remember him playing it?"

Sasuke nodded. "He was good."

"He wasn't the only one." Gripping the neck of the bass, Shisui ran the pic against the strings, frowned, and twisted a few of the tuning pegs. "I taught him everything I knew, you know. And not just bass guitar." He strummed again, smiled, and turned back to Sasuke. "Taught him how to not be one mean bastard of an Uchiha. He was a quick learner. But you . . . ."

Sasuke huffed and pulled on his headphones. "Plug it in."

Shisui frowned at the cord attached to the bass. "Why?"

Sasuke turned to adjust the lights, lifting up one of the earpieces to hear him. "Why do you think?"

"I just came to listen, Sasuke."

"I'm not asking."

He couldn't turn to look at Shisui's face - feeling embarrassed, for some reason. But when the lights dimmed and the loud cry of an electric bass followed it, he allowed himself a simple smile as he twirled his drumsticks and began to play.

...

When they were done, they were sweating, panting a bit, and feeling alive. More so than ever. Because Sasuke learned the drums to play with Itachi, but was never given the chance to, and somehow he still felt like he had achieved what he always wanted to do: play with his brother.

Standing, Sasuke grabbed a few towels from the shelf and threw one at Shisui before wiping his damp face. "You happy now?"

And had his face not been stuffed in a rag, he would have seen the genuine smile on Shisui's lips.

"You have no idea."

...

The hallway was empty when they left. So was the living room and the kitchen. Sasuke frowned and wondered where Naruto had run off to, but decided to leave with Shisui rather than waste his time going through every room in the mansion to find him. They got buckled and Sasuke was backing up the car when conversation rose up again.

"You bought the set, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "I bought everything."

"So it's all yours?" Shisui asked.

Again, Sasuke nodded.

"Then what if . . . we brought it all home." He could feel eyes bore into the side of his skull, trying to decipher his reaction. But Sasuke was so caught off guard, even he didn't know how to react. Shisui cleared his throat, and continued, "You have your family back, so there's no harm in having a room in the house for all the instruments. And when you want to play, you won't have to drive all the way over here."

He was right. It was more efficient to have his stuff at his home now, and Sasuke found himself nodding before anything else. But even so . . .

Why did he feel weird about this?

Naruto Uzumaki had oceans in his eyes as he watched the last of the instruments get dragged out of the room by movers. Oceans because they were big, choppy, and watery. And Sasuke hated the sight of them because they made him feel like he was doing something wrong - but he wasn't. This was his stuff. They should be in his house. That's how things worked.

So why . . . ?

"Well look at that." To the side, Jiraiya was looking into the empty room, a bit of a sad smile on his lips. "Bigger than I expected. With all that stuff in there - why, I forgot how massive this place was." He walked over to his godson and placed a hand on his sloped shoulder. "So what do you think, Naruto? A new library? Or maybe my third study? You can never have too many."

Naruto stared at his feet, not sharing the enthusiasm of his godfather. "Why don't you ask Sasuke?" he muttered. "Since he's suddenly in charge of what goes in and out of this house."

Sasuke blinked as Jirayia frowned. "Now Naruto -"

"Forget it." He left the strong grip and made his way down the hallway. "I'm done being here."

He was gone. It was a bit colder, and Sasuke had to rub his arms to warm up as Jiraiya sighed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I know he is thinking that this is some sort of distance you're putting between you and him, and I tried to explain that it was just you getting closer with your family - but, well, he has it stuck in his head, I suppose."

He could understand it, somewhat. Naruto loved his friends. It was obvious by him still helping Sakura after everything she had done to him that he was a loyal, somewhat clingy guy. That, and with how much he and Naruto had spent time together the past three years, it must have been even . . . harder to see him taking his stuff. But it wasn't like he was leaving, and Sasuke wasn't quite sure why Naruto couldn't see that.

Looking up to Jiraiya, he said, "I'll talk to him." Jiraiya nodded, and Sasuke left for the hallway, walked up the double staircase, and went into Naruto's room. He saw blonde hair flash along the balcony and followed it, nose scrunching a bit as the flowery scents hit him. Settling next to his friend as he crossed his arms on the railing, Sasuke eyed the fountain below. "I live seven minutes away."

Naruto sighed. "I know."

"We go to school together."

"I know."

"We literally have two classes and lunch together."

"I know, Sasuke, I know!" His hands ran through his wild hair, tugging a bit as his eyes squeezed shut. "I'm not stupid. I know! But that doesn't make it any better." Blue eyes flashed his way, and Sasuke almost drowned in them. "You used to spend every weekend over here and play games with me when you were bored and help me with Calc. because I'm a dumbass who doesn't know shit - but I do know one thing, Sasuke, and that is for the past three years, Jiraiya and me have been more of a family to you than those bastards ever have - and now it's like you're replacing us! Throwing us to the side! A . . . abandoning us."

Naruto hiccuped and sneered to the side. Sasuke had never seen him act like this. "I'm not abandoning you," he said. "I'm just moving my instruments."

"Not just the instruments," Naruto muttered. "The Loud Room. The thing that got you away from the Uchiha. And now you're taking it to them! How that fuck is that not contradictory?"

"It wasn't just the Uchiha. It was stress in general."

"That your family caused!"

"Will you get off it, Naruto!?" Sasuke snapped, patience running dry. "I didn't know them back then, but now I do. That's good, Naruto. You should be happy for me."

"Who said I wasn't?" They faced each other, faces red and wrinkled with frowning lines of rage. "Of course I am! But I'm also skeptical. Three years, Sasuke. It took them three years to do this - to fix this. Why? Huh!?" He tried to retort, but felt his words got jumbled in this throat. Naruto's eyes flashed. "Exactly. So I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't trust them so easily. Is that wrong for me to say?"

Fists balling up, Sasuke yelled, "Yes! And fucking hypocritical, too, you idiot! Don't you dare talk to me about not trusting when you're practically encouraging Sakura to suck your dick again. Sakura!" Blue eyes flashed again, this time painfully, and Sasuke knew he hit the bullseye. "She used us, Naruto. She pretended to be my dead brother to get to me, and when she found out about Hinata, she used you to upset her! How the fuck can you trust her after all she's done!?"

"I don't!" Naruto pushed off the railing and paced a bit by the door. Sasuke followed him with slanted, angry eyes. "Of course I don't! You think it didn't hurt - what she did to me? You think I'd just let it slide!? It hurt like hell! But if I didn't help her, she'd keep on doing it. Keep lying and using and manipulating - so I had to step in! I don't want to, but Christ, Sasuke, I'm not about to run away, either."

Run away? His nostrils flared. Run AWAY!? Like hell he was running away! He was being smart and staying away from the crazy, obsessed person. That had nothing to do with running, so the fucking audacity Naruto had to say he was running away was - was -

"Stupid." Naruto's head snapped his way, eyes widening. Sasuke scowled back. "You're stupid if you think I'm going to take one step near than witch. Stupid, and selfish." He grabbed the rail and watched his knuckles turn white. "Selfish because you want me to throw all that shit she did to me in the wind and help her - what - because it's the right thing? Fuck that! Selfish because I finally have my family back - my family, Naruto - and you're grumblin' and grovelin' because you don't know what it's like to think your own mother and father wish you were dead!" He stood and sneered, shadow towering like the rest of him and covering the bewildered look on Naruto's face. "You're so fucking stupid."

...

Dazed.

That was the look - the one on Naruto's face. Foggy eyes and a blank face, he looked dazed. Like he was out of it. Like something had shocked him so much that he couldn't begin to comprehend. Sasuke had seen that look often, especially on Naruto. He'd have it on test days or when the teacher was talking too fast for him to understand. But the difference between then and now was the fact that Sasuke felt his stomach twist into knots at the sight of him.

Dazed.

But not just that.

It was also that look he got when he heard those words -

"It's because of Naruto, huh? If I drop him, will you give Sasuke back to me?"

That powerful look was storming in his eyes, and Sasuke couldn't believe he was seeing it. Because . . . Naruto frowned and screamed and smiled and laughed in these sorts of situations, but he never . . .

"You're right."

. . . just took it.

...

"I guess I am pretty stupid." He scratched the back of his head, eyes shaking. "But you're wrong about the selfish part." They locked eyes, somehow, despite neither of them wanting to. "Selfish people don't let friends eat their food and play their games because their family life is rough. Selfish people don't stick up for others no matter what stupid shit they get themselves into. Selfish people don't help people who used them so that they can get better and never hurt their friends again."

"Naruto."

"But - stupid people, well . . ." He laughed. It was fake. Obviously so. "Stupid people let people use their kindness without a care in the world. Stupid people make entire rooms of their own house into comfort zones for their struggling friend. Stupid people fall in love with girls who like someone else and are willing to manipulate them to get what they want. And, well, I guess all of that fits me." Naruto shifted, then paused, looking stuck. "And . . . stupid people think selfish people are their family."

Sasuke squared his jaw and glared. "Naruto -"

"You are my brother." And the eyes that glared back were icy and raw. "You were my brother. And Jiraiya - you were his son. For three years, he'd think and worry about you because he cared for you, dammit! And what do you do to repay him? To repay us!? Leave? Take your stuff with you? Never see us again? What is it, Sasuke?"

Things were getting too heated, way beyond their normal quarrels, and Sasuke didn't know what to do about it. "Listen -"

"No!" Naruto marched up to him and grabbed the collar of his sweater. "You listen!" he sneered. "It's always been about you. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke - and I've had enough! I looked out for you and helped you and had your back - with your family, with Hinata, with everything! I woke up thinking 'I wonder if Sasuke's doing okay' and would go to bed praying - fucking begging - 'I hope he doesn't dream about Itachi'. I'd have a heart attack every time you'd call because I wouldn't know if something happened with your family or if you were having another panic attack. It was constant worry and anxiety and reeling, reeling, reeling that I'd collapse and wonder - not if I was okay or if I should get some rest - but if you - YOU - were okay. It was always Sasuke, Sasuke, fucking Sasuke and never Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. Ever. And that's the problem."

He shoved Sasuke away, sending his back into the railing, before whirling on his heels and strutting into his room. Sasuke was too caught up in his buzzing head to move, but his eyes snapped up upon Naruto returned with a handful of books and paper. Upon closer inspection, he saw it was sheet music and guides on how to play the bass guitar.

"From now on," he said, not looking at him, "I'm focusing on me."

He threw them over the balcony, and they both watched as it all fell into the fountain. Sasuke hissed, "What the hell is wrong with you!?"

And Naruto . . .

Just stared at him. No frown. No smile. Nothing.

Like an . . .

"It feels nice - being an only child again."

Uchiha.

...

"Go home."

Two words had never sounded so chilling, and that came from Sasuke, who has lived with Uchihas all his life. Stepping into the hallway, he turned and faced his friend -

Or, well . . .

What were they again?

"You think you don't belong here," Naruto said, fake smile returning one last time to punch Sasuke in the gut, "and, well, neither do I."

The door closed.

Fists clenched at his side, Sasuke left, glaring at every familiar wall and plant and pot he came across, telling himself that he might as well get a good look.

Because he was never, ever, coming back.

The week started back up with a frowning Uchiha - a bad omen for all. And Hinata Hyuuga was the first to notice upon him plopping down in the library chair across from her with a growl bubbling in his throat. She placed her book down and folded her hands in her lap. "What's w-wrong?" she asked.

He locked his hands behind his neck and frowned. "Naruto."

"N-Naruto?"

"He freaked out on me," he muttered. "Went on and on about shit. I'm tired of him - and now I'm going have to deal with him in class."

Hinata leaned forward a bit. "What d-did he -"

"Shit, Hinata. He said shit." Ignoring the sudden need to move around, Sasuke tapped his knee and huffed. "Do you know what he's doing with Sakura? Helping her and all that - even after all the hell she put us through! And then he had the fucking balls to complain about me getting back with my family." His frown turned into a deep scowl as his eyes narrowed. "He's so stupid."

Hinata shifted in her chair, lips biting together.

"I-I don't . . . know what to say."

"Then don't." Sasuke crossed his arms on the table and pressed his head against them. "Just . . . let this day go by quickly."

The table fell quiet as a soft hand rubbed his hand reassuringly, and it was just enough to calm him down and get those ugly, guilty thoughts out of his head.

Good.

Because if they had stayed, he would have surely broken something.

Chapter Twenty-Six - End