"'Cause I got everything right here

If I just open my eyes...
Yeah, I want to be better,
But somehow I keep falling apart again...
I just wish you knew how, how hard I try
It never gets easier to work things out
All I want is to find the peace inside
Yeah, all I want is you to feel alright"

~ Rnla & yaeow, "Try to Be Better (Again)"

Chapter 23: A Good Friend

Damian Wayne hated being late.

Even more, he hated when others were late... and today, that happened to be Jess. Usually, she tended to be more punctual, especially having learned that he was a meticulous and timely person, but at the moment, it was nearly ten minutes past three in the afternoon, and Damian's patience was wearing thin.

After quickly parking in the lot of the arena building he'd taken her to nearly two weeks ago, he made his way inside. The rink was relatively busy today, ice skaters moving at different speeds and sounds of chatter and blades accompanying the pop music that was playing on the speakers. His gaze landed on the girl who was performing a sit spin—he'd learned the term after she'd enthusiastically shared some of her old videos with him—in the center of the rink. As he headed down the stairs, Jess came out of the spin and straightened up, grinning at a figure who was approaching her across the ice.

Damian hadn't been aware that she was here with someone. That particular someone was... a young man he'd never seen before. Analytical skills kicking in, Damian took in the blond locks that fell over the shaved, brunette roots in the back, the long-sleeved t-shirt with sleeves pushed up to his elbows, the lollipop stick hanging from his mouth, and the sly expression on the stranger's sharp features as he returned Jess's grin, saying something to her that earned her laugh.

Green eyes narrowing, the former assassin made his way to the bottom of the stairs and then to the edge of the rink, wondering how long it would take for her to notice his presence.

It was only a moment or two. Her eyes fell onto him across the rink, the laughter morphing into realization before she glanced at her watch, then said something to the young man beside her. She skated effortlessly towards the entry door near Damian, her friend following closely behind.

"Sorry!" she told him, heading towards the benches and lockers further away where she'd locked away her belongings.

Damian said nothing, following her and feeling her friend's eyes on him. He didn't return the look, keeping his own eyes on the girl who was scrambling to open the locker and pull her sneakers out.

"I completely lost track of time," she was saying as she quickly unlaced her skates and pulled them off. Her hazel eyes turned towards Damian, filled with sheepishness and apology.

"That's unlike you," he simply said, arms crossed as he stood and watched the two of them. The blond-haired teen wasn't as much in a rush as she was. He must have been their age as well, but Damian was still trying to determine whether he had seen him anywhere before.

Jess shoved her feet into her slip-on sneakers, not looking at him. "I know, sorry. Oh... by the way," she stood and gestured with her hands. "Um, Damian, this is Kade. Kade, Damian."

The other young man stood from the bench, offering a hand out to him. "Nice to finally meet you," he said, the lollipop stick shifting between his lips.

Cool, gray-blue eyes appraised him, unreadable in the fluorescent lighting above them. He must have been a mere few inches taller than Damian, who could tell Kade was comparably fit underneath his clothing—not quite enough to indicate he did sports but rather, he likely worked out every now and then. Something about him reminded him a little bit of Jason when he'd been younger and around the same age: rugged, always smirking if not glaring, carrying himself with aloofness.

And Damian wasn't sure he liked it.

The handshake was firm. Damian pulled his hand back and crossed his arms again. He couldn't help the faint iciness in his tone when he replied, "I could say the same, but Jessica has never mentioned you."

Kade's brows shot up in response, gaze splitting between him and Jess, who was giving them a smile that was tinted with embarrassment.

"I... was going to get to that. Eventually." Jess ducked her head as she proceeded to put the guards on her skates (she was most likely blushing), Kade's gaze landing back on Damian briefly before he held his hand out to her.

She handed the skates to him with a grateful smile then headed back towards the stairs and out the front doors. Damian found himself making a mental note of the gesture as the three of them walked silently across the parking lot. She gave them, wordlessly, to him like it was something they often did. Jess stopped at the Aston Martin just as Damian unlocked it. Beside her, Kade was letting out a low whistle.

Eyes running over the vehicle, he asked, "Damn. How much you pay a month for this thing?"

"Nothing. It's been paid off," Damian responded flatly.

"Oh. Right. 'Cause..." the other teen gestured towards him with a grin. At the raised brow Damian gave him, Kade shook his head and quickly added, "Never mind."

What did that mean?

During the awkward exchange, Jess had been getting situated in the passenger seat, her door still open. Kade was about to approach her, her skates tied together by the laces and still hanging in his hand, when Damian held his hand out. The blond-haired teen handed them over, something glinting in his gaze. Once the skates were sitting in the backseat and Damian was rounding the car to get to the driver's side, he was aware of Kade's blond head bending down towards Jess at the other side.

He was gone by the time Damian was seated, Jess shutting her door and buckling her seatbelt. There was a lollipop stick between her lips now, confirming his suspicions.

Gaze flickering to his rearview mirror, where Kade's figure was retreating and disappearing into a row of vehicles, Damian said, "How does he know who I am?"

But I don't know who he is?

"I mean... everyone knows who you are, don't they?" Jess frowned, glancing over at him and reaching up to twirl the stick in her mouth. "He goes to Gotham Academy. I figured maybe you would recognize him, he's going to be a senior this year."

"You know I never paid that much attention to my peers."

"Oh. Well..."

"But that's not what I meant. How does he know about me... as your friend... yet you have never mentioned him before?"

Jess looked out of the windshield as he pulled out into the street, quiet for a few seconds. "It never really came up I guess."

"It never occurred to you to tell me you're seeing someone?"

He could feel her surprised, hazel gaze locking onto him, but he kept his own eyes on the road.

"Um... I didn't really think you'd care."

Damian shot her a perturbed look, to which she added, "Because you're... you know... you. Which is fine, I wasn't all that worried about you knowing." Her hand flew up in a casual wave as she sank down in her seat to become more comfortable.

He continued driving, neither of them speaking and the radio playing softly in the background. She didn't think he would care? He couldn't explain why, but the thought prodded at him, annoyingly. Had they not come to some implicit agreement that they would be open, honest, and share things with one another to a certain extent? Surely getting into a relationship with someone was something she would tell him and vice versa.

Or so he'd thought.

"I do care, Jessica," he spoke up.

She didn't say anything, spinning the lollipop stick in her mouth.

"Does he treat you well?"

"Yeah," she answered, voice quiet. "He does."

Despite his first impression of Kade and how confident Damian was in his own reading, he knew he couldn't disregard what she was telling him. As long as the young man wasn't a complete idiot, then Damian could fare with that.

Good.

"It's not serious anyway," Jess was continuing on, "considering I'll be gone in a few weeks... so it's not like we are officially together or anything. It's more of... a temporary thing."

Damian had never been one of those teenagers who had flings with other girls, knowing there was an expiration date; he'd only ever truly dated someone and called her his significant other, girlfriend. The boundary-less, gray areas that other teens and adolescents tried out were nothing but undesirable to someone like him who preferred clear lines and expectations. What compelled his friend to go through with this undefined "relationship" with Kade, he didn't know, but he supposed it had something to do with her wanting to do almost anything she could before going home to Central City. Another one of her "little things"?

Memories of that night on the manor's roof had lingered in the back of his mind the last few days. It had felt nothing short of some kind of revelation: prior to then, he had never given it much thought that his friend was leaving and how it would affect him. Perhaps Damian had gotten comfortable enough that he nearly forgot she was only in Gotham for the summer.

Or perhaps he'd refused to acknowledge that she would be gone soon, and it wasn't until that time watching the sunset that he was forced to face it, that he would miss Jess.

And if that hadn't been enough to process, she had stunned him with her list of things she would miss, all connected or relating to their friendship and what they'd built over the past months. Not many things could faze Damian, but he'd certainly had some trouble collecting himself in those moments.

"I'll miss you, of course."

Even now, her words seemed to burn in in his brain, sending something bittersweet through him.

"Damian?"

Her voice jolted him from his thoughts. Damian glanced over at her, seeing her appraising him with a single raised brow.

"You take a nap there for a second?"

"No," he answered as he looked back out at the road. "I was trying to recall if I'd already run an errand for Alfred. What were you saying?"

"I was saying you've never really talked about your own love life. Are you just not interested in dating right now or you haven't found anyone yet?"

Damian gave a shrug. "The former. I refuse to use any of those redundant dating apps, and I already limit my social interactions with the outside world, as you already know. Perhaps that would be different if I'd decided to attend Gotham University."

She seemed to think for a brief moment before saying, "That sounds reasonable, but I am a little surprised you didn't meet anyone at the library or even the animal clinic. 'Cause that'd mean she likes reading or animals, which are both pluses in my opinion."

He couldn't argue with her on that.

"But hey, maybe there's someone cute at this movie theater we can link you up with," Jess was adding, tossing him a light grin.

"I sincerely hope that's a joke."

"Kind of, not really. We'd be checking off one of the things on my list plus doing something for you. Killing two birds with one stone, right?"

"The probability of us accomplishing that is low." Slowing to a stop at a red light, Damian looked over and gave her a mild glare. "Besides, I have no interest in seeing someone right now."

I am not in the position to try and handle another relationship among the ones I have now.

"Alright, alright, I was just teasing you... Would you be open to hanging out with Kade?"

The question felt sudden, making him meet her eyes and see the hesitation in them. "What would 'hanging out with Kade' entail exactly?"

"Well, Misty would most likely be with us anyway. I was just thinking it'd be nice for all of us to do something together at least once before I leave, especially now that you've met him..."

He'd gotten so used to spending time with Jess, just the two of them, and the idea of having that space invaded by someone he'd found out by accident felt... wrong. There had only been a few other times when Misty had been around, usually because Damian had been picking up or dropping off Jess to her, so that didn't quite count.

"I would consider it."

Beside him, she was smiling. "Cool. I know socializing isn't really your thing, so even you just considering it is nice of you."

Though he did not respond to that, he already knew that—despite his answer—he would take the opportunity to spend time with her, regardless of her other friends' presences and how the idea made him feel.

Because they didn't have a lot of that time left.

He was changing out of his Robin gear when his ears picked up the faint sound of his phone buzzing nearby. Wincing at an ache in his upper back, Damian walked slowly over to it, his interest piqued at the name that had appeared on the screen. What was she doing awake at this time of night?

"Jessica."

"Uh, no, it's actually Misty," the voice came through, battling with an awful ruckus that sounded like pop music and laughter in the background.

Straightening up in alertness, Damian inquired, "Where is she?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm looking at her right now, but... ah, I think you need to come get her."

He closed his eyes momentarily, taking a moment to breathe in and out of his nose. Of course. She must have been inebriated again, and though it'd been some time since he'd picked her up from Robinson Park, he had been hoping she'd been partying less. Many times, he'd wanted to seek her out on patrol or track her whereabouts to make sure of this, but a voice in the back of his head would never fail to remind him that he shouldn't.

Because he had to... trust her.

"Alright. What is the addr—?"

"Jess! Where are you going? Dude, I told you to stay right here,"—there was a disruptive, shuffling noise—"No, you cannot have another one... Damian. Yes. He's coming to pick you up, so you have to stay—"

"Misty."

"I'll text it to you, just hurry. Please. She needs to be put to bed—Jess! I swear if you throw up on—"

Brows furrowing, Damian ended the call and finished changing as quickly as he could despite how much his muscles were complaining. Tonight's patrol had been particularly taxing, especially since he had gone out with the intent to expel some negative energy and frustration. Luckily, he and his father had set out on a lead for stardust, the newest drug that Commissioner Gordon had recently brought to their attention—the goal to collect information had given him opportunities to rough up several goons here and there.

But now that he had to go fetch his friend from another night of bad decisions, the former assassin was even more eager to climb into bed and sleep it all away.

The party was located in a neighborhood near Gotham Academy, so the houses were especially large with expansive property. It wasn't difficult to spot the home in question; several cars were parked along the street and in the driveway, the windows flashing with colored lights, and a faint thumping reaching his car from less than a hundred feet away. Several teens were outside, some sprawled drunkenly across the lawn or huddled in groups with drinks in their hands. A few of them took notice of Damian as he approached the front door, but he ignored them as he looked down at his phone to text Misty—who still had Jess's phone—that he was on site.

Wait inside front door please, we'll come to you, she wrote.

He felt out of place, admittedly, standing just inside the open doorway with his arms crossed, watching partygoers bustle to and fro. The kitchen to the right was littered with drink packages and teens who were enthusiastically drawing up concoctions in plastic cups, and to his left, a large living room was filled with the same teens drinking from the same cups. A few pairs of eyes here and there landed on him, widening in curiosity or recognition. The bass that shook the home was mildly annoying, yet he remained (somewhat) patient, eyes scanning the area for a familiar, brunette teen or her friend.

Never mind can you come to the backyard? Misty then texted him, eliciting a sigh from him.

Weaving through bodies, Damian made it to the backyard where there were teens splashing around in a pool or sitting at the edge with their feet stuck in. Others stood around or sat on the patio furniture, laughing and chattering over the music. There was a shriek as someone tossed a fully-clothed girl into the water, earning laughs from nearby.

"Damian!"

Misty was at one end of the backyard, standing near a small cluster of dancing bodies. As he approached her, he realized one of those bodies was Jess, who was dressed in a white, cropped tank top and jeans, one arm slung around another girl and the other up in the air, a cup in her hand. The look on Misty's face was one of relief, which was a little amusing to Damian.

"Thank god," she greeted him, turning to gesture towards Jess. The teen was bouncing left and right to the beat-heavy pop song that had just begun playing. "She really doesn't want to leave, so good luck."

Green eyes ran over her as Damian contemplated the best way to remove Jess from the premises. Blunt force was an option but certainly not appropriate...

Reaching out, he plucked the cup from Jess's raised hand, causing her to stop dancing and glance around. Her drunken gaze landed on him, and instead of acknowledging the disappearance of her drink, she beamed with excitement he'd never seen on her before.

"Dami!"

No longer paying attention to the people she'd been dancing with, Jess reached out with her arms and nearly stumbled into him. One hand holding the cup away and the other catching her as she hit his chest, Damian looked over at Misty. She wore an expression on her face that said "Yikes" as she took the drink from him and set it down.

"Whatareyoudoinghere," Jess drawled, her arms wrapped loosely around his body as she looked up at him. "Oooh, will you dance with me?"

"Jessica—"

She was stepping away now, both her hands tugging at his forearm towards the crowd she'd left.

"We're leaving," Damian told her firmly, brows knitting together as he pulled her towards him, trying to be gentle.

"Onedancepleeeease..."

"No."

"One song?"

"No."

"Mistyyy..." She turned towards her friend, who shook her head vigorously.

"Don't 'Misty' me, Jess. You heard the man. It's time to go."

Jess adopted an exaggerated slouch then, the corners of her mouth turning down into a frown. Her bloodshot, hazel eyes met Damian's as she answered, "Fine. Butyouowemeadance... one day."

This is embarrassing.

He could feel the eyes of several partygoers around them, watching the exchange. Not that he cared that people likely recognized him and were wondering about his presence at such a social event, but he was more concerned about his friend who was, in his opinion, making a fool of herself.

"Do you need a ride home as well?" he asked Misty, starting to grow impatient.

She handed what must have been Jess's phone to him before tilting her chin at the girl, who was starting to bob to the music again. "I'm fine. Just worry about this one."

"Why did she not return to the facility before curfew?"

Misty threw her hands up exasperatedly. "No idea. I tried convincing her to not come, but she obviously didn't listen, so I figured I'd tag along in case—" Looking at Jess, she gestured towards her. "Well, in case this happened."

"Thanks. Let's go, Jessica," was all he said, grasping his friend's arm and gently—but with enough force necessary for a girl who wasn't walking in a straight line—tugging her back inside the house.

So she had deliberately chosen to attend another party and break the facility's curfew... for what reason?

Jess wouldn't stop trying to speak to people they passed or was constantly veering off course, so Damian was maintaining a firm grip on her arm. She was walking alright on her own, though her balance was clearly off and he'd had to steady her when she'd walked into a standing table in the hallway. By the time they made it across the front yard and to his car, she was spouting nonsense about the trimmed bushes that lined the driveway.

"Damian..."

He was pulling out onto the street now after having helped her into her seat and buckled her in. (That was when he'd noticed that her tank top had a few orange liquid stains on it—he could only imagine it was from some alcoholic beverage.) Jess was slouched, her head laid back against the headrest.

"You should come next time... Itsalotoffun."

"Our opinions differ in what's 'fun,' Jessica."

"But you have fun when we... hangoutright?" Her head rolled to the side as she faced him, her eyes half-closed as she looked at him.

Damian's eyes remained on the dark road. She'll be passing out soon. "Yes, I do."

The ridiculous comments and questions went on for the remaining drive back to Wayne Manor, which was not long considering he had gone slightly over the speed limit; he was eager to get her into bed, safe and—hopefully—asleep.

A few minutes passed in silence, making him wonder if she'd finally knocked out. But just as he stole a glance towards her, seeing Jess's face turned to the window, she was speaking again.

"Where are we going?"

"Where would you like to go?"

He was curious about what sort of answer she would give, considering her current condition. People tended to be honest and unfiltered when under the influence.

"Home."

Damian was silent, eyes still on the empty road before him, the tree lines thickening as they traveled further into Gotham's outskirts. Home. So she wanted to return to Central City, did she? That seemed a little unusual—just earlier this week, she'd said the exact opposite. Had she changed her mind?

"Are we... going home?" she asked, facing him again. Though he wasn't looking at her, he could feel her drunken, hazel gaze on him. "I hope we don't wake up Bruce or Alfred."

It was at that moment that Damian realized he'd misunderstood her again.

Had she just...?

He found himself unable to respond, still processing what she had said.

Jess didn't say anything more, and once he'd driven onto the property and parked in front of the manor, he saw why. Her eyes were closed when he opened her door, body limp as he scooped her out of the seat and headed towards the front door. He took her to the same bedroom she'd slept in the first that day she'd been hungover, laying her across the bed and tossing a blanket over her figure. After setting her phone, a glass of water, and painkillers on the bedside table, Damian took a moment to look at his sleeping friend whose hair was spread across the pillow, looking as peaceful as he'd ever seen her.

You really feel like this is home?

In his mind's eye, he saw the first time he'd brought her over, when she'd met Titus, the movies they'd played in the theater, his mini tour of the library where he showed her his favorite and despised books... He recalled the day she'd come over unannounced and offered him comfort when he'd thought he didn't need it, how well she got along with his father and Alfred, and all the times she and Dick had both poked fun at him together. She'd certainly spent much time here at the manor, and Damian had always attributed that to her desire to be away from the facility and perhaps even the library.

Never would he have guessed she would eventually call it a home.

She was shifting around as he crossed the room to leave, and that was when he heard a groggy "Damian?"

It was dark after he'd turned off the lamp on the bedside table, and he highly doubted she'd be able to make out his figure, so he said, "I'm here."

A heavy sigh left Jess, and then she was mumbling almost unintelligibly—Damian barely made out what she'd said: "You're a good friend."

The words hung in the air as her breathing slowed, telling him she had fallen back asleep. They seemed to grow, swelling and enveloping him in that warmth he had only grown to know when they had become friends. But then Damian quietly left the room, shutting the door behind him as her sentiment hung on to his retreating figure.

The beeping sound started out faint, slithering into the corners of her sleeping mind, but then it grew louder, pulling her rudely from slumber. At the same time, her head felt heavy and thick with a familiar, throbbing headache.

Wrenching her eyes open, Jess shut them again at the sun that was rising and peeking through the blinds of the window in front of her. The alarm was still going off, so she stuck her hand out and fumbled around until it found the shape of a phone. She squinted down at the screen, silencing it and seeing that it was eight in the morning.

Why on earth was the alarm—?

Oh shit.

Mild panic seared through her as she took in her surroundings—wait, she knew this room—and attempted to recall what had happened. Hadn't she been at a party with Misty? Why wasn't she in her own bed?

As the questions flooded in, she noticed the bedside table where a glass of water and two pills were waiting patiently. After taking a moment to take them, wincing at the throbbing in her temple, she made effort to stand up and try to keep her balance. The room felt like it was spinning a little, which was no good at all.

Wait… why was my alarm going off again?

One glance at her phone screen told her it was Saturday, meaning she needed to meet Erin.

A string of curse words fell from her mouth as she made her way to the bathroom across the hall. The girl looking back at her in the mirror looked exhausted with slight traces of smudged mascara and tangled hair. She was still wearing the same outfit from last night, the stains on her top way too obvious to be hidden without just changing into something else entirely.

Well, apparently, you had some fun last night, huh? a voice in her head taunted.

Damian. She had to go find him and let him know she needed to get to the diner as quickly as possible—there was no time for going back to the facility at this point, so maybe…

Anxiety and panic-stricken thoughts coursed through her as she desperately tried to comb her fingers through her hair, then gave up. Opening the door, in a hurry to go to Damian's room, Jess smacked right into something tall and solid.

On any other day when she hadn't been hungover, maybe she'd been able to react quickly enough to avoid literally walking into her friend, but today was not that day. It felt like hitting a brick wall, and she saw, then felt, him raise his hands to steady her after the clumsy collision.

"Are you okay?"

Green eyes narrowed with concern looked her up and down as she tried to collect herself. He was dressed in a black shirt and chinos, looking freshly showered judging by the dampness of his dark hair and the lingering, fresh scent of his cologne.

"I'm fine. Jesus, you scared the shit out of me."

"I was coming to check on you. You were still asleep an hour ago." He glanced over into the guest room that she'd slept in. "Did you take the painkillers?"

Grimacing a little at a shock of pain going through her head, Jess answered with a dismissive hand, "Yeah, I did, thank you. I'm guessing you picked me up last night?"

"Misty called me."

"Of course she did," she couldn't help mumbling, reaching up to rub her temples.

"Do you not remember?"

"Not really..."

"What do you remember?"

"Uh..." Jess gave a lazy shrug. "Going to Kade's house for this party with Misty, drinking, um, more than I'd initially planned." It was a mistake to look up at him—the sternness in his eyes made her break eye contact. "I vaguely recall you showing up, I guess, but it's just a blur after that.

"Listen, Damian, I'm supposed to meet my probation officer pretty soon, and…"

She looked down at herself and her outfit, trying to find the words to describe her messy state.

"I'll find you something to wear," he told her without hesitation, taking a few steps down the hall. But then the older teen paused, giving her another glance, and added, "And a hair brush," before continuing on his way.

Frowning, Jess went back into the guest room and reached for the glass of water. That was when she suddenly remembered the small baggy in the back pocket of her jeans, sending relief and then worry washing through her. Just a little bit of the recreational drug would definitely pick her up and make her feel better within the hour…

But Damian… No, I won't even be with him when it kicks in, she rationalized to herself as she stared at the glass.

Except I'll be with Erin, and it's possible she might notice something. But as long as I just use a little bit...

Several moments of internal debate passed—this was too much to try and think so hard about—until the glittering, white crystals fell into the water. Downing it as quickly as her hungover self could, Jess saw movement at the door and immediately turned towards Damian as he entered. The empty glass hit the bedside table with a little more force than she'd intended, but he didn't seem to notice while approaching her with a piece of clothing.

"I thought we might have some old clothing from Cassandra or Stephanie, but I couldn't find anything. This should do," he was saying.

The shirt in question was navy blue and long-sleeved, though Jess didn't really care what it was as long as it wasn't her stained top. Taking it and the brush he'd also brought, she shut herself into the bathroom and hurriedly tried to look more presentable. The shirt smelled like him—It must be his, she thought—and her brunette locks were looking less gross after taking the brush to them. After tucking the long shirt into her jeans, which luckily didn't have any stains, Jess crossed the hallway back to the guest room.

Damian was standing in front of the bedside table, his back towards her. Jess checked her phone, relieved to see she still had time. If they left now, she'd probably be a few minutes early still.

"I'm ready," she announced, pulling the sleeves up to her elbows and pocketing her phone. "Is it okay if I leave my top in your car so I don't have to take it inside with me? Or here. Doesn't matter to me."

She was met with silence as she watched his unmoving back.

"Dami?"

Jess's gaze landed on the bed where one of the pillows was within reach. Maybe she could throw one at him..?

"Hello? Earth to Damian Wayne," she tried again, stepping forward a few feet to stop next to him and try to see his face.

But then he was turning around, and that was when she realized he was holding something, looking down at it. The familiar baggy was dangling between his fingers, nearly empty except for just a gram that she'd left for later. The crystals sparkled in the bedroom light, tiny and delicate, like they were jeering at her.

No expletive would have been perfect enough to accompany the shocking alarm that flooded her body, rooting her in place as she struggled to look between his face and the clear bag.

His face.

Had she ever seen this expression on him before? It was eerily calm, the way the green irises stared right back, gripping her—she didn't think she could budge if she wanted to. But they glittered almost dangerously with something intense, bold, and... daunting. His glare was slight but it was there, and it felt both heated and cold at the same time if that were even possible.

Maybe ten seconds passed, maybe thirty or even a whole minute, but Jess couldn't find it in herself to speak or move. And then his mouth, which had been set in a hard line, was opening.

"What is this?"

Cold. His tone was so cold yet oddly quiet and controlled.

It only made her more anxious.

"I..."

Nothing. Try again.

"It's..."

The air seemed to have vanished from her lungs, and her brain refused to function beyond standing there with her mouth half-open. Say something, you idiot.

The expression on Damian's face didn't change. "Jessica."

His saying her name seemed to undo her frozen state. Swallowing hard, throat suddenly dry, she then answered, "N-nothing. It's just—It's trash. It's j-just trash."

Damn it. Of course she was stuttering now, and it was clear by the way his gaze narrowed just the slightest bit that he didn't believe her.

"You were drinking trash?"

He picked up the empty glass, holding it up to show the remaining stardust at the bottom that hadn't been diluted or made it to her mouth. With one brow raised, he set it back down on the table and looked back up at her.

Heart racing and body temperature rising, Jess shook her head. "No, it's one of those vitamin C things, you know? You add it to your water, and it tastes like... like strawberry or..." She couldn't finish her sentence, not when those emerald greens were boring into her.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't lie to my face," he deadpanned, holding up the bag again. His words sent something hot and uncomfortable through Jess, making her clench her teeth. "Why are you using stardust?"

"So you do know what it is." Her tone was flat as she stood there, tearing her gaze from the bag and instead staring at Damian.

"Do you know how dangerous this can be?"

"I... I barely use it, okay?" Jess swallowed again, vaguely aware of the tightness forming in her throat that made her sound quieter than she wanted. "I'm just... trying it out."

"There is no 'trying it out,' Jessica," he responded. "You either use it or you don't. When did you—when did you start this?"

Annoyance shot through her nerves. "What's it to you? Why are you asking so many questions?" Jess stepped forward and tried to snatch the bag from him, but Damian was quicker.

He pulled his hand out of reach and then set the bag down on the bedside table next to him. Crossing his arms, he leveled her with another stare that only fueled the growing frustration she was experiencing.

What was up with him? Did he really care so much that she was trying out a recreational drug that was practically harmless?

She decided to ask.

"It's harmless, Damian. Why does it matter? I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety and nightmares and—and having a hard time concentrating, so I figured I'd give it a try." Sweeping a hand over herself, Jess added, "I'm still here, it hasn't done anything to me."

He gave her an eye-roll, and his brows furrowed with obvious irritation, deepening that glare. "Yet," he corrected. "It hasn't done anything yet. Regardless, this is incredibly foolish, even for you."

Jess's brows shot up, his words biting at her. "Even for me?" she echoed. "What's that supposed to mean? It's recreational. Everyone I know is doing it."

"Misty?"

That stopped her.

Damian's eyes glinted. "If not Misty, who else? Kade?"

She remained silent, jaw working as the blood pounded in her ears and the heat in her body starting to overwhelm her. There was no way she would tell him Kade had been the one to introduce the drug to her.

"What's your point?" she challenged. "It's not like it's cocaine or something."

He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closing.

Letting out a deep breath, Jess shook her head and held her hands up in defeat. "Think all you want, Damian. It's not that big of a deal, and you treating me like a kid isn't going to make me stop."

"I'm not treating you like a child, but if you act like one—"

"I am not acting like anything. You're the one who has a huge problem with me doing stardust. I told you why I do it, so you should just... leave it alone. Not that it's any of your business anyway."

He lowered his hand, and his eyes opened once again, alight with annoyance. "It's my business because it is my job as a friend to tell you when you're being stupid. And you are."

"Whatever. That's your opinion. This is how I choose to deal with things, and... you can't control that."

Damian pressed his lips together in displeasure then glanced out the window. His chest rose and fell quickly, like he was trying to calm himself. Jess almost didn't notice that his fists in his crossed arms were balled tightly.

"Can we please just let this go? I'm going to be late."

A long, long minute passed before his eyes landed on her again. The way his jaw was set so stubbornly almost made it seem like he'd never be able to open it again. "Throw it away and we can leave."

The air seemed to whoosh out of her lungs as her mouth dropped open in disbelief. "What? Are you—? You can't be serious."

No way he's actually doing this right now.

"I am."

And he definitely looked like he was: his hardened gaze never left her, emerald greens seeming to challenge her, saying, "Your move, Jess." Jess inhaled and exhaled as calmly as she could, though the breaths barely curbed her rising frustration.

She had to get out of there.

"Keep it," she then said in a shaky voice, stepping towards the bedroom door. "I'll call a cab."

With that, the teen spun on her heel and walked as quickly as she could from the room. Making her way downstairs, the growing urge to cry caught up to her, making her eyes sting. She almost didn't notice the figure on the staircase that she nearly ran into.

"Whoa there," the short-haired woman said, stepping back to smile at her. "Oh, you must be Jess..."

Her voice trailed off once she took in the look on the girl's face, Bruce also silent behind her on the stairs. The two of them wore mixed expressions of concern and surprise, which only made Jess feel worse. Don't cry, don't cry, she urged herself as she mumbled an apology and hurried down to the first floor.

A single tear had managed to escape by the time she was outside, sitting at the bottom of the steps leading to the front door. Too many emotions were fighting inside her as she simply sat there, staring at the ground. Hastily wiping the wetness on her face away, Jess huffed out a deep breath and pulled out her phone, seeing that it was almost a quarter to nine. Yep, she was definitely going to be late. Wonderful.

Had the last several minutes really just happened? She'd never thought she would ever witness Damian so... irritated and almost upset let alone be so adamant about his opinion. And the fact that he'd tried to bargain like that? It wasn't like she couldn't get more stardust from Kade, of course, so this wasn't much of a loss, but still—

"Jessica."

His voice had her looking up from her phone, but she refused to turn around.

"Let me take you to your meeting," he said. His tone was calm behind her, like nothing had happened.

"It's fine... I was just about to call for a cab," Jess managed to say through her tight throat, looking back down at her phone screen.

There was movement in the corner of her eye; he'd approached and stopped next to her. "Don't be ridiculous. It'll be past nine by the time they even arrive. We can get there in ten minutes if I drive."

With a tired sigh, she then looked up at him from her position on the steps. "Why do you—?"

His hand had extended down towards her, the bag of stardust hanging between his fingertips. Dark, green eyes looked at her carefully and expectantly while he stood there in silence.

Part of her wanted to stand her ground and move on with calling for a ride, but another wondered if this was her friend's way of calling a truce or apologizing. Whatever the case, all she knew was that her priority was getting to the diner as soon as possible.

Taking the bag from him, Jess stood up and dusted herself off. Damian wasted no time going back up the steps, and she followed after him, shoving the stardust back into her pocket. They were driving out of the garage in less than a minute, and their ride was silent, Jess sitting with her arms crossed, slumped in her seat and staring out the window. The tension was thick, nearly suffocating, and she found herself eager to get out once they arrived.

Is there a reason you reacted that way?

The whole ride should have been in silence, but as soon as Damian was pulling up to the sidewalk with the diner just fifty feet away, he was speaking.

"You've wanted nothing but to live a better life. Is this truly how you intend to spend your second chance?"

For the first time since they'd left the manor, he turned to look at Jess with eyes that felt like they were burning into her. Rigidity had taken over his body, tightening his knuckles on the wheel.

A voice in the back of her head reminded her she needed to get out of the car and hurry to the diner, but for some unnameable reason, she stayed put in the passenger seat. "I... I don't know," she tried to answer, sounding more exasperated than she'd meant. "I just need to. That's all I know."

"Well then, it looks like I was wrong."

Questioning, hazel eyes met sharp, green ones.

"Perhaps you don't deserve another chance."

His words sunk into her chest, sending astonishment through her. Jess worked to rip her gaze from his, staring into nothing beyond the windshield as her ears rang. For a long moment, it was hard to breathe, like the sentence had blocked her airways and wanted to make her struggle for air.

Closing her half-open mouth, she reached—more like fumbled—for the handle and opened the door. Her heart thudded wildly in her chest as she shut it and started walking in the direction of the diner. Everything in her surroundings, the few Gothamites walking or biking around her, the partially-cloudy sky, the cool morning air, was part of another world, something completely detached from the one she had been thrown into.

A world of sudden, unexpected hurt, with Damian's words bouncing off the walls and echoing in her head and heart.

Note: well that definitely escalated quickly o.O lol hope you all enjoyed this one. i wasn't planning on updating twice in one week but i had a majority of this chapter written out ahead of time, so that helped a lot.

you guys are totally welcome to tell me what you think will happen or what you want to happen! i already have a bunch of things planned out anyway, but it'd be fun to hear what your expectations are, whether they are spot on with my plan or completely different hahaha.

btw, i'm corny as heck and listen to a specific playlist i have on Spotify when i'm writing for this fic. if any of you are curious to see what kind of chaotic songs help me write this equally-chaotic story, my username on there is "mariahashlie" and the playlist name is "sadboi hours (for the most part)" or i can send you a link if you want to just message me! there is a variety of genres in there, mostly pop, indie pop, indie/alternative, little bit of electronic, but as the name suggests, a number of the songs are sad and just depressing lol xD most of the song lyrics i've put at the beginning of these chapters come from this playlist, too. i'm always adding to it though, so the list is constantly growing.

anyway! thanks as always for the reviews, faves, and follows. until next update, where things continue to get wild ;)