"We're almost there. Careful not to slip."
The gray and white she-cat adjusted the strap that crossed her chest, tightening the vest further. The deep brown hide stretched across her side, the bags covering the scars along her sides. She was careful to keep the snowfall from piling up, shaking it loose more often than the others – much to her companion's ire.
"Did you have to bring those with you?" Blackleaf let herself fall further behind the older medicine cat.
"I thought you would need a break from yours," Fleetheart whispered. "It rubs against you more than mine, and I wouldn't want you to get a blister."
"A real break would be me still sleeping," Blackleaf yawned. "I was already up during the day to meet at the bridge."
"Sorry." The bouncy, white fur of Angelika rubbed against her.
"Your tail is dragging again." The voice of the she-kit apprentice made Blackleaf shake her head. She glanced back to make sure the others were still with her.
"Oh, right!" Angelika lifted her tail high, her fur blocking the apprentice's view.
The sun and moon were blocked by the dense gray that spanned the sky, diffusing the evening light enough to prevent her from seeing any shadows, but just too bright for any twoleg lights to click on. Against the snow, everything was in clear view. The twoleg nest that bordered the silverpath they had crossed was tall, but not as big as the ones they approached. They stood in rows of two, no damage and no collapsed roofs, taller than the structures that made up their camp. One of the apprentices almost slipped staring up at the one they walked next to, drawing a scornful glance from the she-cat apprentice. Blackleaf looked back just in time to smirk. To the left of one was a sharp but shallow drop, bordering the wide river bank. The gray-stone path alongside it narrowed, just wide enough for a single twoleg to pass. Splitting into pairs, the group walked against the wall slowly, the snow barely covering the path. The river's dull path ahead, widening once it passed under the bridge, was lit by twoleg lights and the glow from distant structures. None lingered on the view long; the weather blurred too much of it.
"Well, there it is," Fleetheart said.
The group stopped on a narrow part of the path, the rest of the way forward in tatters. A ramp was left from where a small nest behind the structures had long slid from its spot and came to rest in the coarse bank of the river. From the bridge it looked inconspicuous, but in the open it was the only thing to focus on. The color the twolegs had painted it had long faded, leaving deep scorch marks and exposing holes drilled deep in its façade. The walls remained anyway, holding the weight of the roof and splitting only once down the center and clasping the tail of a sky-monster. The path to it, a set of stairs leading to the bank's elevation, was clear of ice. Fleetheart made her way down, followed by the others. The apprentices did not take their eyes from the sky-monster's tail.
"How did it get there?" one of them asked.
"It crashed, idiot," the she-cat apprentice snapped.
"Actually, it was already there," Fleetheart said. "Sometimes, the achse twolegs put monsters in strange places to trick the enemy sky-monsters. Somehow, it's still here."
Blackleaf snapped her jaw at the she-cat apprentice; she was not looking. Fleetheart reached the bottom of the stairs and continued to the river's bank. It was raised above the ice-covered water with a gray-stone border. It was much higher than the ones near their camp, but just short enough for a cat to jump to and from the ice chunks.
"Have any of you ever been inside?" Fleetheart said.
The apprentices shook their heads, some of them timidly.
"What about you, Angelika?"
She shook her head. "Strays stay away from clan cat property. I've never been this close."
"The sacred spots are not clan property," Fleetheart said. "Anyone can use them."
"But clan cats get priority," the she-cat apprentice said.
The other apprentices made way for her to stride past. She was glaring at Blackleaf before running into one of Fleetheart's bags. She quickly scrambled back.
"First, I want to tell you something about the clan's past," she said. "It will help you understand why this spot is significant."
"Then why doesn't anyone ever visit?" the she-cat apprentice said.
Blackleaf glared at her.
"What? I'm not wrong. No one ever comes to this place."
"They do," Fleetheart said. "Well, they used to. You just won't hear an answer from your clan-born clanmates."
The apprentices gathered around. Angelika joined them; they did not make room for her, so she sat behind them. Blackleaf kept her distance, but looked at the older medicine cat.
Fleetheart cleared her throat, keeping her eyes on the nests above them. "I wasn't here for everything, but I was here when this clan had no leader. It was a group in charge. If anything happened to one, vital information wouldn't be lost. None had gone through the leader's ceremony, and none had the blessing of StarClan. Just one life and no past wisdom. They were all killed during the war."
"Is that why we never hear about a leader before Solestar?" one of the apprentices said.
"They don't like talking about it," Fleetheart said. "It is as painful for them as the Axin Mess is for me. Many were starving. The Great Sky War was relentless with lightning strikes and fire, shouting, destruction. But one night, a flat sea-monster crashed on shore. The twolegs never came to get it. When we finally pried the wood boxes open, they were full of frozen soles. Luckily it was leafbare, and we could preserve enough. Solestar was an apprentice then."
"They changed her name?" the she-cat apprentice asked.
"More like she didn't have a proper name before."
Blackleaf's tail curled between her legs; Angelika noticed.
"At some point, she was allowed to lead with the others," Fleetheart continued. "One by one, they were killed by sky-monsters and thundersticks or fighting with 'the other side of the river', leaving her as the last remaining leader. She organized them into a proper clan, with a proper name."
"Why the Clan of False Shadows?" another asked.
"It was just to intimidate the other side. She wanted the true shadow to be the smoke from the fires the sky-monsters caused."
Angelika slid her tail towards Blackleaf's, noticing her shaking paws. The medicine cat smacked it away and dropped her ears. The apprentices were too distracted to notice, eager to hear more. Fleetheart cleared her throat but said nothing, keeping her eyes on the space behind them.
"Wait, that's it?" the she-cat apprentice said.
Fleetheart nodded. "The rest is collectively scattered among the remaining survivors of the Great Sky War, minus anyone who wasn't born here."
"Then why didn't they tell us?"
"Many of the survivors prefer to forget the time when they were on the verge of defeat and starvation. I came from a clan where we never forgot our past… and I don't want any of you to forget yours." Fleetheart looked at the sacred spot. "Before it slid down here, that nest gave refuge to many animals during the twolegplace's destruction. Even if the older clan-born would rather ignore the past, you shouldn't."
She motioned her tail towards it. Eventually, the she-cat apprentice stood and passed her, taking another glance at Blackleaf. Her ears fell when she saw her head down. The other apprentices stood and followed behind her, wading through the deepening snow.
"Careful getting to it," Fleetheart said. "The holes in this part of the bank are covered."
"You aren't coming with us?" the she-cat apprentice said.
"It's better if you learn of its significance on your own. Stay as long as you want."
The group padded away, bouncing slowly through the snow and leaving the three older ones on the bank. Fleetheart stood, stretching her legs and clearing her throat before walking towards the river. Angelika only followed when Blackleaf did, watching her tail angrily flick about. Fleetheart moved to the edge of the river bank, staring over the ledge for a bit before walking along it. The other two followed by her side, slowly padding towards the lone nest and watching the apprentices fumble their way inside. Angelika nudged Blackleaf again, but was angrily shoved away. Fleetheart shook her head.
"Once the twoleg lights flicker on, I'll go back," Fleetheart said, slowing her pace even more. "I don't see very well at night anymore."
"Is that why I'm here?" Blackleaf said, yawning.
"Actually, it was Angelika's idea."
Blackleaf turned to her right, the larger cat's happiness vanish against her glare.
"I, um…"
"Couldn't this wait until night?" Blackleaf growled.
"I'm sorry, I… well—"
"It isn't an easy topic to start," Fleetheart whispered. "She's not the only one worried for you."
"About what?"
"About the expressions you make," Angelika said, leaning close. "The others are whispering about you now. They're saying you're 'getting cozy' with Wolfgang, and that you hate the clan's apprentices."
Blackleaf kept her narrowed eyes forward.
"They think you value the captive's lives more than theirs. And that Solestar will do something about it, eventually."
She dropped her head.
"Is… I know this isn't true," Angelika said. "You said it yourself. Everything you're doing is for the clan—"
"I didn't say the clan," Blackleaf snapped. She glanced around, leaning close. "I said for my comrades. Everything I'm doing is for my comrades, not the clan."
"Isn't the clan our comrades?" Angelika said.
Fleetheart stopped and looked over the ledge. Her muzzle twitched a little, but her breathing slowed. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Blackleaf stopped and looked over the ledge, too. The white of the ice was darkened by the dimming light. She tried looking at the water gurgling between the chunks.
"What are you fighting for, right now?" Fleetheart asked.
"StarClan. You know that," Blackleaf said.
Fleetheart sighed. "Leaftail was the one who told me to do this."
The young cat's ears perked up.
"He said he was concerned for you, and wanted to tell me first—"
"That snake…" Blackleaf said.
"I know you don't mean that," Angelika said. "Just—"
"What do you know of me!?" Blackleaf hissed.
"Fleetheart, was this a mistake?" Angelika mewed.
"No…"
Walking away from the pair, Fleetheart shook her head and cleared her throat. Blackleaf's ears briefly poked up. she lifted her tired eyes from the river and watched the older medicine cat shift the weight of her vest towards her back.
"Fleetheart," Blackleaf mewed.
She turned around.
"You haven't given up on me, have you?"
"Neither of us have."
She sighed, ears level and muzzle relaxed.
"Do you know why I haven't given up on you?"
Blackleaf tensed up.
"It's because I see a better version of me, and Littlestar, in you. One without the damage of the Axin Mess or the Great Sky War… When I arrived here near the end of the war, I was broken. I was carried in by Flyfoot. My fur was matted for many moons. Wolfgang force-fed me. I woke others when I hissed in my sleep. I tended to cat's wounds without a care for them. Because Littlestar and AchseClan were still on my mind. I wanted to join her so bad… some nights I wished the sky-monsters would just strike me down, so I could go without the guilt of doing it myself."
The young cat's eyes were frozen.
"I never like calling her Littlestar. I always think of her as Littlescent. The same smart, calm little cat who was like a littermate to me. And how disappointed she would be if she ever saw me like that. I can't believe in her, or myself, anymore. But I can believe in you… whatever it is you decide to do next. I'll let Flyfoot speak for herself."
Blackleaf took a few steps towards Fleetheart, but stopped. Angelika nuzzled her forward, but she stayed put. A slight breeze flowed past the three, Fleetheart shaking her fur and letting it pass through the gaps in her vest. She closed her eyes and embraced it for a moment before letting it go, walking in the direction of the silverpath. Blackleaf's chest thumped wildly watching the older medicine cat. It only stopped when she forced her eyes and ears onto the river below, taking in the churn of the water and the droll of the wind. A chill ran across her back; she shivered and let her tail drop. Angelika stood close, pressing against Blackleaf.
"Is, um…"
The medicine cat looked at Angelika.
"Are you going to be okay?"
Blackleaf sighed, looking back at the icy water, glancing a bit at the sacred spot.
"What would you think of me if I betrayed the clan, to help my comrades?"
Angelika seized up, but kept herself close.
"Because, at this point, I have no idea how to be what they deserve. What I was told I would be for them."
"I'd like to know why, though."
Blackleaf growled.
"No. Why can't Blackleaf the medicine cat be enough?"
"I've never been enough." Blackleaf slid herself away from Angelika. "Not for them, and not for her."
She shook her fur, head to tail. Brushing the blown parts flat, she walked towards the sacred spot. Angelika watched her put distance between them, her head dropping low. She turned to where the medicine cat was standing; the paw prints were already covered by the falling snow.