So this was not how I imagined this chapter going but, it kind of ran away from me so here ya go. Lots of drama and sadness and a cliff hanger for you. Enjoy!
"He didn't propose? After all of that?" Mia asked through the speaker in the jeep I'm currently leasing from a local dealership until I decide what car I want to buy for keeps. I saw the bright red jeep in the lot and couldn't resist.
"No, nothing!" I said frustrated. "I mean don't get me wrong, it was an amazing wonderful night but, that was like the perfect opportunity. He had the lights, the food, the setting, It's where we had a lot of our private moments together as kids. I don't know what else he could be waiting on."
"Let me guess, you're wondering if he's backing out already?"
"No," I said immediately before pausing. When she didn't immediately answer I continued. "Ok maybe. I don't know. I'm being stupid. I know he loves me and he's said repeatedly that he wants us to get married…I just don't know if he's holding back for some reason. Maybe because I come with too much drama."
"Most of, wait no ALL of that drama is because of him. He can't be upset about that. Did you ever think maybe he didn't propose because he knew you'd be expecting it and he wants to catch you unexpected?"
"I mean I didn't expect all of that. I asked for a sandwich and got one of the most romantic dates of my life. How much more shocking can you get?"
"I don't know. Maybe, he's messing with you. Setting up scenarios where he knows you'll expect it, then not do it so when he does, you really won't expect it," she suggested. I pulled into the parking lot of the studio. "From the sounds of it, you used to mess with each other all the time. This could just be him doing something like that."
"Yea but, that's just mean," I laughed.
"His way of paying you back for proposing first," she laughed.
"Oh, that's true. I didn't think of that. Well…damn," I laughed. "I wanted to get married before the babies come. Hopefully he does it before then. Otherwise I'll just plan the wedding and tell him when to show up. Skip the middle step."
"There ya go," she laughed. "That'll show him."
About then Butch and Chuck pulled up beside me. The poor guys are still stuck having to deal with me until the whole Amanda situation is resolved. Unfortunately, that means they don't do a lot. They're only on duty when I leave the cabin which hasn't been a whole lot. Abe paid for a nice RV to be parked by the cabin so they could stay close by in case I randomly decide to leave. I personally feel like its overkill but, since I was just kidnapped, held hostage, and my boyfriend was shot, I don't complain about it…too much. They both got out of the car and were waiting for me. Normally at least on of them rides with me but I managed to talk my way into driving myself today.
"Hey, I hate to do this but, I'm at the studio and I don't want Butch and Chuck waiting on me too long. I'll call you back tomorrow or something. I want to hear more about Eddie since you've been avoiding that subject."
"Ok, I've gotta head into work in a minute anyways. Talk later, love you!" she said. I managed a quick 'love you too' before she hung up. Before I could open my door, Chuck had it opened for me. I laughed at his eagerness. He and Butch felt bad about the kidnapping so they've been trying to go above and beyond to make it up though I've told them repeatedly that I don't blame them. Before I could, Butch had the back door open and was grabbing my guitar.
"Thanks Chuck. Sorry, I made y'all wait. Girl talk, you know," I smiled walking towards the studio door. Right before I walked in, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look but by the time I had, the person was gone. I could've sworn I'd seen Amanda.
"You ok?" Butch asked on alert. I smiled reassuringly.
"Yea, I thought I saw…someone I knew but I guess I was wrong. There's no one there now. Let's go make some music," I said quickly heading in through the door Chuck hurriedly grabbed open for me. when I entered the studio, I saw a familiar blonde.
"Nick!" I said excitedly. He turned towards me smiling before standing up to give me a quick hug. "How are you? Hows living with the girlfriend?"
"I'm good. We broke up but, it was for the best and I'm in a better place now," he said seeing I was about to ask him about it. I decided not to for now. I always thought he was too good for her from what he'd told me but, I never said anything because it wasn't my place. Nick, is a really nice guy, not many would let a stranger move into their apartment last minute for a month. He didn't even complain when Dimitri took back over producing my album even though he could have made that really difficult. He also was bot bad looking, not my type but really pretty. He was tall, not Dimitri tall, had medium blonde hair that always had that stylish just rolled out of bed look, plus he had bright hazel eyes and kept a close shaven beard.
"Well, maybe we can find you a girl while you're here," I teased.
"No girls for me right now," he laughed.
"Fine," I jokingly relented.
"What have you got for me? Abe sent me all the stuff you and Dimitri have done. Getting close," he said pulling up a chair and gesturing for me to sit. When I did, he sat in the other chair by me. Butch came and sat on the couch in the back while Chuck stood guard outside. I hadn't noticed but Butch had brought my guitar over by the soundboard already.
"I know, we're so close! I've written a few more that I want to record. Here you can look at them," I told him handing him the journal opened up to the song I wanted to do today.
"Are you sure you just want to jump in like that? You don't want to work on something a little easier for now?" he asked.
"I need to. I need to let it go," I told him honestly.
"Ok, you got a melody for it already?"
"I think I do," I told him. I grabbed my guitar out and we spent the couple of hours perfecting melodies and recording guitar and piano instrumentals.
"Hold on, Dimitri's calling. Lets take a break," I told him grabbing my phone and answering the call.
"Hey comrade," I smiled into the phone.
"Just checking on you, seeing how its going?"
"It's going good. It's fun to be in an actual studio I'm familiar with again," I laughed. "We just finished doing a few instrumentals for a new song so I can lay down the vocals. Obviously, the band will have to go re-record it later since they're the professionals."
"That's exciting. Do I get to hear the new song?" he asked.
"Maybe…we'll see," I teased. About then my stomach growled loudly.
"Are you starving my babies over there?" he teased.
"On accident. I've been so into working on the song I didn't even realize I was hungry," I laughed. Normally Stephanie would have come in asking if I wanted lunch but, I keep forgetting I told her while I was in Georgia taking time off, she can take time off too. It's the least I can do after accidentally getting her kidnapped. "I'll order some pizza or something in a second."
"How much longer are y'all going to hang out there?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. I want to at least get some rough vocals recorded today. Why you missing me already?"
"No, that's not it. I'm just out at mama's and I was going to head back whenever you were on your way home."
"Wow comrade I feel the love," I teased. I could almost actually hear him processing what he said and why I said that.
"You know that's not what I meant. You know how much I want to be there with you. I just don't want you to think I'm trying to rush you, I want you to take your time and come back when your ready not because I want you here with me," he explained.
"Hey comrade?" I asked, he made a 'hmm' noise. "It's ok, I miss you too. I'll be home in a couple of hours."
"You better," he teased back. "Ok, well I'll let you go, I just wanted to check in on you. Order some food before you get hangry. Call me when you head this way."
"Ok, I will. I'll order pizza as soon as we hang up. I'm sure the guys are hungry too. Love you."
"Love you too. Bye babe," he said before clicking off.
I did as I told him I would and ordered pizza for the guys and me. By the time it'd gotten there, Nick and I had finished all of the instrumentals we needed for me to start on laying down the vocals. We took a break and decided to eat. I was walking over to the pizza when Butch spoke up.
"How's your assistant? Stephanie?" Butch asked like he couldn't remember her name. That automatically sent up flags for me because he didn't forget things like that. That means he was pretending to not know her name. From my understanding, he was the one that helped her after the kidnapping. I felt terrible because with everything going on, I'd forgotten about her but Butch had stepped in and made sure she was taken care of. He had her get checked out by one of the paramedics then stayed with her until her friend showed up so she wasn't alone.
"She's good. Pretty resilient from what I can tell. She's been trying to fly out here and come work but, I keep telling her there's not much to do while we're here. She's handling things that need to be handled out in LA but, there's really not a lot going on right now so I told her to use the time as a vacation. I'm sure once the baby's born, I'll need her a lot more so she can use the rest now."
"That's good," he nodded but didn't say anything else. I'll bring It up some other time when we're alone. Luckily for him but unfortunately for me, my stomach decided that was the time to hate the pizza in front of me that I'd just lifted the lid on.
"I'll be back," I said hurriedly as I rushed to the bathroom. Damn mushrooms. I was sitting on the floor in the stall when I heard the door crack open.
"Hey, got some crackers and water for you," Chuck said coming into the bathroom.
"In here," I croaked from the furthest bathroom stall. This bathroom wasn't too big so he was there pretty quick. I hadn't locked the door so he slowly popped the door open. He handed me the crackers and the water. "Thanks. Where'd you get crackers?"
"Butch said they help so I've started carrying them around for you, just in case," he said his ears getting red. I smiled at his sweetness. You wouldn't have expected these two big burly guys to be as nice as they are. Gotta hand it to Abe, he picked some great body guards for me…even if I fought him on it.
"Thanks Chuck," I told him opening the water and taking a sip. "Does it bother you that I call you Chuck?"
"Not really, my family used to also. Kind of nice to hear it again," he said sadly. I could see on his face that he didn't want to talk about it so I didn't ask.
"Good, because I like it much better than Charles," I smiled. "Chuck and Butch. Butch and Chuck. It just sounds so much better."
"It does have a nice ring to it," he nodded. I reached out a hand for him to help me up. he grabbed it and pulled me up like I was nothing.
"You know after everything went down; I don't blame you. You have nothing you need to make up," I told him softly.
"I blame me," he admitted gruffly. "They shouldn't have gotten one up on me. Won't happen again."
"I understand what you mean, just know that I don't blame you and no one else does either. They got to Butch too. You're not invincible. I still trust you with my life. Not just mine either," I said gesturing to my stomach. I could see my words had an affect on him but he didn't say anything, not that I expected he would. I put my hand on his arm gently for a minute before walking by him on the way to the door. "Thanks for the crackers."
"Everything ok?" Nick asked as I entered the door. God bless him and Butch, they'd already removed the pizza and I could smell the air freshener they'd sprayed to get rid of the smell.
"Yea, I'm good. Apparently, we don't like mushrooms today," I laughed. "Y'all didn't have to get rid of the pizza. I appreciate it though."
"Not a problem. You good to continue or you want to call it a day?"
"I'm good. I'm finishing this song today," I told him. "First though, y'all go eat. Just cause I'm not doesn't mean you shouldn't."
"We ate a few slices when we took it to the kitchenette. I'm good for now," Nick said. Butch nodded in agreement.
"Ok well tell me at least Chuck is in there eating now?" I asked. Butch nodded a confirmation. "Cool, lets get to work then."
"You sure you want to finish this song today? It may not be easy," Nick said.
"It won't be easy at all but, like I said earlier, I need to."
"Ok, lets get to it," he said rolling up to the sound board in his chair. I went into the sound booth and grabbed the headphones. I turned the mic so I was facing away from the glass and towards the back wall. "Ready when you are."
"I'm good," I told him adjusting the headphones. Within seconds the music started and I felt myself start rocking to it. Nick was smart making it more piano heavy than guitar like I'd wanted. I knew as soon as I started singing I probably wouldn't make it through without crying.
This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro
All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised
Somewhere along the way, I'd shut my eyes and just allowed myself to feel the song. As I sang I thought back to the years of abuse that had gotten me to where I was today. All the hurt that had convinced me I wasn't enough.
Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
Sensing someone near me, I opened my eyes and saw Nick standing there with his phone like he was filming me, I gave him a confused look but he just gestured for me to go with it. I gave him a soft smile and shook my head. I let myself drown in the music again and quickly forgot about him as the next verse started.
Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know
'Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised
'Cause now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me
There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
'Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway
As I sang, I pictured stan in front of me and imagined myself singing this to him. When I got to the "nothing left you can say" my voice cracked just barely as it finally hit me that he was really gone. At some point, I'd started crying but my voice stayed strong as I continued. I poured my all into the next chorus.
Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again
No oh yeah yeah
You can never hurt me again
As I said the last again, my voice broke as the sobs I'd been holding back shook me. I stood there silently crying, arms wrapped around my stomach, for a few minutes before I felt myself being wrapped in an embrace. Without opening my eyes, I immediately knew who it was and as much as I wanted to be mad he came, I couldn't. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed him here, even though I'd tried to record it without him just to prove I could.
"You…shouldn't…come," I choked out between sobs. He just kissed my head softly instead of replying. I looked up and saw his eyes were surprisingly red like he either was going to cry or had just cried but there were no tears. I held Dimitri tighter burying my head in his chest as the sobs slowly subsided. Once I got to where I could speak, I whispered softly, "My dads dead but, he's not even my dad."
"Even though he's not biologically your dad, he was the man you grew up with as a father. He's the only one you knew for 21 years."
"Yea but he was cruel and abused me and I'm not sure why I'm crying over him," I said wiping my eyes and feeling pathetic. Who cries over a man who abused them relentlessly for years.
"He was a terrible person but, deep inside is still that little girl that yearned for his love and affection. That girl that started off with nothing but love for her dad. That's the girl that's mourning the loss of her father right now. You're also crying because you just found your freedom and you feel guilty about it."
"How do you know me so well?" I asked with a small smile. He was right. As I sang, I felt a sense of freedom wash over me. As I sang "You can never hurt me again" I felt free knowing how true it was. Not only am I now emotionally strong enough to handle everything he threw at me, he literally can't hurt me anymore and as much as I hate to say it, that makes me incredibly happy. Honestly, I'm just a ball of conflicting emotions right now. Happiness that he's gone. Sadness and grief that the only man I ever knew until recently as my father is gone. Even if he was terrible. Guilt that I'm happy. Relief. Anger.
I stood there in Dimitri's arms until I calmed down fully. I looked around and saw Butch and Nick had disappeared.
"Nick texted you didn't he?" I asked.
"He sent me a pic of the lyrics as a heads up and I knew immediately what I was about. Why?" he asked and I knew he wasn't asking about the song itself but why I didn't have him here. I shrugged as I pulled away.
"I feel like sometimes, emotionally, I rely on you too much. It seems a little counter-productive to sing a song about being a warrior and being strong enough to stand on my own but need my boyfriend to hold me while I break down singing it," I admitted. He rolled his eyes and smiled softly at me.
"You're crying because his death just hit you, not because you're weak or emotionally needy. As soon as I saw those lyrics, I knew it would make it real for you. If you had already grieved him, I wouldn't have come. You could tell in the lyrics; you hadn't processed his death yet. That doesn't take away from your strength. Needing someone to hug you through the pain, isn't a weakness. There's a strength in letting someone in," he put his hand on my cheek and tilted my head to look up at him. "I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more. You're the strongest person I know. You're a hell of a lot stronger than me, emotionally not physically," he teased before continuing. "Watching you sing that song, I was in awe of you. It was breathtaking. Even with tears on your face you could see the strength radiating off of you. It was beautiful and fierce. My little warrior queen."
"I'm not your queen, just your girlfriend, remember you rejected my proposal and have yet to counter it," I teased. Though there was a little truth to my words. I had brought my hand up to hold his wrist and squeezed gently to let him know his words had affected me, I just didn't know what to say. Instead I made another joke. "And let's be honest, right now I probably am physically stronger than you. I can at least get the pickle lid off."
"I can too!" he defended. I knew I had wounded his pride. When he first got home, his strength hadn't fully returned and one day I found him in the kitchen fighting a pickle jar. I pulled out the rubber piece I use when he's not around to open them for me and suggested he try with his left hand. It worked but still was a blow to his pride. "Besides you cheat by using tools to get it off."
"Hey, it's ok. We all need a little help every once in a while," I teased him.
"Exactly, we all need help once in a while," he retorted back.
"Fine, lesson learned," I smiled rolling my eyes at him. "I guess we should let the the guys know its safe to come back in."
"Probably," he smiled. "You good?"
"I'm good. Like you said, it just hit me. I'm sure this won't be the last time."
"It's a hard situation. We'll get through it though," he said grabbing my hand with his. As we exited the sound booth Nick popped his head in.
"You good?" he asked.
"Yea, come in Judas," I teased.
"How was I to know he would show up, I just wanted to give him a heads up," he said walking in.
"It's Dimitri. When does he not show up?" I teased. As he made it to his chair I hugged him. "Thank you though. Don't do it again."
"No promises," he laughed.
"Now why were you recording?" I asked sitting in Dimitri's lap since he had just occupied the only other chair and I didn't want to be far away on the couch.
"I think you should use it as your music video for this song. I know I'm not super creative but, you know those music videos where you see the artist in there recording and singing, sometimes it shows clips of them with other people at the sound board, all that? I think this should be one of those videos. Let your fans see your raw vulnerability but also show them how you're moving on. You're on your way to superstardom. Before you say yes or no though, watch the video. Its beautiful. And I'm not just saying that since I recorded it," he laughed handing me the phone. I pressed play and leaned back against Dimitri's uninjured side.
They were right. You could see the heartbreak and pain but when I sang the chorus, even I could see the strength I was singing about. There were many times that without realizing it, I'd brought my hands up in fists or out to the side as I sang.
"See what I meant?" Dimitri asked when it finished.
"Thank you for recording that," I told Nick. "I think that's a great idea. I've tried to be as real with my fans as possible, why not now too?"
"Run it by your manager and Abe but I think they'll be on board," Dimitri said. That's when my stomach dropped.
"I don't know how Abe will feel about this song," I admitted. "I don't want him to get upset by it. I know he already feels guilty enough."
"Roza. The past is the past. there's nothing he can do to change it now. He already knows about your issues with Stan. I think he'll be proud of you for working through it in your own way and moving forward. Yea, it's gotta hurt hearing your daughter in pain but, that's something he's going to have to work through."
"I'm sorry, don't mean to interrupt but, did you just say daughter?" Nick asked confused like he couldn't help himself.
"Oh yea," I laughed. "I just recently found out. Apparently, he's my bio dad. Long story but the summary is when my mom got pregnant with me, they couldn't work out being together. He lived in Turkey, she was here so she got married and pretended he was my dad till I was 21 when she revealed he wasn't. The day I got kidnapped was the day I found out."
"You live a soap opera life man," he said shaking his head in disbelief.
"Tell me about it," I laughed. We worked on it for about 30 more minutes before I saw Dimitri start to get tired. Though he wouldn't admit it. I walked over and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Babe?"
"Hmm?" he said looking down at me warily. I could see the exhaustion on his face.
"Have Chuck drive you home and go get some rest," I told him already preparing for the argument. "I'm kicking you out of the studio because you're not even supposed to be here, that's what Nick is for. Your exhausted and don't need to be driving. I'll be perfectly safe with Butch and Nick here and I'll come straight home when we're done. Ok?"
"You think you have it all figured out huh?" he teased. Fortunately for me he also yawned right then.
"Point proven. Go home. I love you but I'm kicking you out. Butch, tell him we'll be fine."
"I mean its not ideal but she's right man. You don't look like you're in any shape to drive 45 minutes back to your place. One of us can take you. We haven't seen any signs of 'Amanda' being here lately anyway. Should be ok."
"Fine, but only because I just got super tired all of a sudden," he said sounding aggravated at himself.
"You've had a busy day comrade. Your body's still healing and trying to use its energy for that now you've gone and thrown it for a loop because I guarantee you and Paul played at least 3 physical games such as tag or hide and seek," I laughed. I didn't mention last nights activities but based on the look in his eyes he was thinking about it too.
"It was only two," he corrected with a laugh.
"See? Your body's tired. Go rest and I'll be home later. Who knows I might let you help me with the lyrics of my next song later," I teased.
"Oh? You'll let me?" he laughed. I climbed off his lap and offered my hand he took it though he didn't really need it as he stood.
"Yes. I'll have you know, writing with me is a privilege!" I said with a mocking tone.
"Shut up," he smiled leaning down to kiss me bye. I kissed him back but quickly shoved him away before it got too heated.
"Bye. Love you. Get some rest," I said practically shoving him out the door.
"In a hurry to get rid of me?" he asked with a smirk.
"Yep my other boyfriend who would actually accept my proposal is almost here and I don't want him to see you," I joked.
"Are you ever going to drop that?"
"Nope," I smirked.
"Well guess I better leave before he shows up. Is he hotter than me?" he jokingly asked playing along. I'm so glad we've gotten to a point where the trust is so absolute not even an ounce of him actually believes me or has doubts. "Definitely gotta be shorter than me."
"He is but built like a line backer. What can I say, I like em big," I said before realizing exactly what I said. I could feel the blush hit as soon as I hear nick laugh behind me and Butch snort trying not to laugh. Dimitri wiggled his eyebrows at me "Oh my god pervs not what I meant though it's true…Gosh I'm going to shut up now and you're going to leave. Bye."
"Love you," he laughed as I pushed him out the door. I assumed Butch had already updated Chuck.
"Love you too," I smiled. when I turned nick was still smiling trying not to laugh at my embarrassment. I went and sat in the chair that Dimitri had previously occupied. "Not a word."
"Of course not," he grinned. "So uh, what's this about a rejected proposal?"
"Of course lets just add to my embarrassment. When Dimitri was lying there practically on his death bed, I asked him to marry me and he rejected me…I mean it was after he woke up from the coma and he didn't actually reject me until a week later but still."
"And did he give you a reason?"
"Something about not taking it away from him," I said throwing my hand up in the air in a 'whatever' gesture.
"Ah, you wounded his pride then," Butch spoke up from the couch.
"Well he didn't do any favors to mine," I snapped back.
"Dimitri is very much the southern gentleman kinda guy. That means in his eyes, it's the mans job to propose to the lady. By you doing it instead, it was like saying he wasn't doing a good enough job," Nick said.
"If I didn't want to wait, isn't that a good thing?" I half-laughed. "I mean I get he's old fashioned its one of the things I love about him but, it is the 21st century. Girls can propose too."
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll make up for it soon enough," Butch said like he knew something I didn't.
"What do you know?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.
"Nothing," he said and if I hadn't seen his previous face I would have completely believed him as he half frowned and shook his head like he was confused I would even aske that.
"I don't believe that."
"Shouldn't you be working or something?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Fine I'll interrogate you later. Let's finish this song," I said turning towards the sound board.
After another hour, hour and a half, we'd done everything we could without a band. My band is back in LA, so we're going to send them the music and have them record it and tweak it after they send it if needed.
"Looks like we're done for the day," Nick announced. "It's great. Could probably work as your first single."
"We'll see. I do love it but, I don't know if it's the song I want to represent my album. Maybe," I admitted. Right about then my stomach growled.
"Go. I'll put everything up. get that baby some food since you never ate earlier," he laughed.
"I won't turn you down on that," I smiled standing up. "See you tomorrow."
"Definitely. Though maybe take a day of from the emotional," he teased.
"No promises," I winked walking through the door Butch was holding open. We were almost to the car when I realized I'd forgotten my guitar. "Crap. I forgot my guitar. I'll just go grab it and meet you at the car."
"I'll get it. You get in the car and lock the doors," he said. He watched me get in and the locks to click before he turned back into the building. He'd been gone for maybe 10 seconds when a head popped up in my rearview mirror. I screamed and whipped around to find 'Amanda' in my backseat. She'd dyed her hair dirty blonde and was wearing big sunglasses but I recognized her immediately.
"What the hell? How'd you get in here?" I yelled.
"Because I'm incredibly clever. Now, you're going to drive before I decide to get impatient and shoot you."
"Why would I do that?" I asked. She pulled out a gun and pointed it at me.
"Because if you don't I'll shoot you now before your bodyguard comes back and finds me here."
"Ok, I'll do it," I told her starting the car and putting it in reverse. As we got to the exit of the parking lot she directed me right, the opposite way from home. In my rearview I saw Butch come out with my guitar in hand. I know the windows were probably too tinted for him to see her but I hoped he could at least see an outline to know I wasn't alone and just ditching him. I knew I had to stall because I had a trick up my sleeve but with her behind me it wouldn't work. Thanks to being in the south where everyone and their mama owns a gun and being surrounded by a bunch of over protective males, they'd made me get a gun and keep it in my car hidden away. Fortunately, I'd already had my gun license. I really didn't want to shoot her but I knew if it came down to it, I would to protect myself and these babies. As we drove, I saw what I hoped was Butch's truck about a mile behind us. she directed us to an old worn down motel and pull into the back. She got out first and stood by the door as I got out. I pretended to stumble forward as I stood and grabbed my gun from under the seat. Luckily it was small enough and I was wearing baggy enough clothes, I could quickly tuck it in my waistband. She shoved the gun she was holding in between my shoulders.
"Get up and come on," she said looking around like she was worried we'd be caught. Fortunately for her, there was no one around and the place looked rough enough that I'm sure if anyone was, they wouldn't really care. I pulled my shirt over the gun in the front of my waistband as I stood and turned towards her.
"I'm cooperating, quit hitting me with that," I told her.
"Shut up and walk," she said. She surprised me, instead of pointing towards the motel, she directed me to walk towards the woods behind the motel. There was a little clearing that you couldn't see until you were right on it. I had little hope of anyone finding us here. Once we were fully in the clearing and hidden away she directed me to stop. "Any last words?"
"Do I get to find out your real identity before I die?" I asked trying to stall.
"I guess. It's not like you'll live much loner anyways. My name is Trixie. I'm Tasha's best friend."
"How did you get involved with her schemes?"
"Honey, it was all my idea," she laughed. "When she told me about you and how Dimitri did her so dirty, I knew we had to get revenge. We met in high school. I ended up in a long term hospital and Tasha was the only one who'd come visit me. She always said I'd see my worth and find my purpose one day and then you came along and I realized it was my job to save her from you. That's my purpose. To protect her."
"She's in jail. You know if you kill me, they will say she was accessory and she'll get longer in prison?" I told her trying to play on her feelings for Tasha.
"I don't plan on her staying there for long," she said looking off into the distance like she was imagining something. I realized then, this poor girl has lost all of her marbles. It truly was going to come down to her or me. I slid my hand to my hip but didn't grab it yet.
"You know it's not too late. I'm the only one who knows who you are. You can still walk away from this and we'll drop the charges so Tasha can get out of jail and you can be together," I told her.
"LIAR!" she yelled then she laughed. "You think I believe you will drop the charges? Besides if I do that then you still win and I want you to lose. I especially want Dimitri to lose. He doesn't want to marry Tasha, then he doesn't get to marry you either. Giving her a ring then just taking it back like that?"
"Tasha stole that ring. I' sorry but he never gave it to her," I said a lot more calm than I felt. She came a few steps closer to me so I backed up a little gripping the gun. I know if I pull it out, she'll still shoot so it will become a challenge on who can shoot first. The dark humor part of my personality laughed at the thought that I was pretty much in an old western shoot out. I must have laughed out loud because she visibly got more upset.
"What's so funny bitch?" she asked getting more and more agitated and I knew it was now or never. I quickly pulled my gun out and pointed it at her.
"This. You don't have to do this Amanda. Or Trixie. Whatever your name is. We can either both shoot and hope we survive or we can walk away and you can get to see Tasha again," she was obviously surprised at my gun but gripped hers tighter.
"I'm willing to die for my cause. Are you?" she taunted.
"No but, I'm willing to do what I have to protect my babies," I told her honestly.
"There's more than one?" she spat. "That should be Tasha right now pregnant with Dimitri's child."
I braced myself knowing I would have to shoot soon before she decided to. "It still can be one day. It just won't be with Dimitri. She can find someone new who deserves her love. Not someone like Dimitri who threw it away. Then you can all be one big happy family."
"I'm sure that's what you want to convince me not to end you right now but guess what? Times up!" she yelled. I gripped the gun, my finger squeezing the trigger as the sound of gun fire filled my ears and I fell to the ground.
Song used: "Warrior" by Demi Lovato.