Chapter 23

I felt warm now, almost comfortable in a dreamless sleep. Was this what it felt like to die, a calmness that I'd never felt before? My thoughts went to Ali as I hoped she'd been lucky enough to die without pain or regret. Did I have regrets, yes. Regrets at not seeing my friends and family and telling them how much I loved them. Regrets for leaving Ranger when we were only at the start of really knowing each other. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I realized my time was probably at its end, wishing that the feel of Ranger's hand against my cheek was real. That the voice I was imagining was real before the silence and blackness came back for me.

I couldn't understand why I was aware of things around me. Sound and the feel of someone beside me. I wasn't aware of feeling any pain until for some reason my muscles decided to work.

"Babe don't try to move. You're safe now"
Safe? How could that be right? I had to open my eyes to work this out so pushed to get my eyelids to open. I knew I was blinking furiously, trying to get the light and colors to focus. As my eyes grew accustomed to what was in front of me, I know I smiled. I smiled because looking back at me were the most beautiful brown eyes in the world.

"Go slow Babe, you've been through a lot"
"How?"
"Hell Babe, I love you so much it hurts. I thought I'd lost you"
"I . . . . . "

I felt a straw at my mouth relieving the soreness in my throat and then looked at Ranger, really looked at him. He looked so tired, more tired than I had ever seen him before, and he was sporting something that resembled a beard. His clothes were creased and disheveled, and I could swear there were signs of fatigue around his eyes.

"How long?"

"Five days. It took us nearly twenty hours to find you and get you out"
"Ali?"
"The guide, I'm sorry Babe she was already dead when we found you"
"Where am I?"
"Hospital"

No he wasn't going to give me one word answers. I closed my eyes as though pretending to ignore him, pleased when he finally answered me.
"They stabilized you at the hospital in Bogota then we flew you out to Miami"

"I'm not sure what happened, just that I was trapped by fallen rocks"
"I felt the vibrations coming through the ground but when I turned around, I couldn't see you, and there were so many people pushing and running to get out. The alarm sounded, but I couldn't find you and we started to back track toward the Cathedral thinking maybe you'd gone that way. Once the officials declared the alarm was a false call people were more helpful when I couldn't locate you. It was then that it became obvious that the guide was missing as well so a full search of the tunnels happened. I was with Gael and Caleb when some of the workers came up. They were pretty pissed off that their safety monitors had recorded an explosion. That's when we talked to some of the workers and guides to do a fuller search of the tunnels that were offshoots from the original mining"

I watched as Ranger got up and refilled a glass of water, his hands rubbing over his face, a telling sign that he was reliving the whole incident.

"I'm sorry"
He sat down again and held my face in his hands.

"Not your fault Babe. I told Gael and Caleb that trouble had a way of finding you. They didn't believe me until we came across a tunnel where the roof had come down"

"Hey"

"The miners and guides knew that something had happened. They were sure that the cause of the infill was not an accident. It took hours to move the rocks and debris because we had to move it by hand and then transport it out of the way. When I first saw I thought I'd lost you. You were covered in dirt and dust, had blood all over you and you were so still"

I could see and feel the anguish he'd been through and felt so guilty for being the cause of that.
"Hey, I'm here now, I'm okay"
"I know, it doesn't make it any easier to live with"

I needed to assure him that the whole thing hadn't been about me or even about him. I couldn't cope if he felt he was in any way responsible. Like everything that ever happened to me I was in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person. Hell, I wasn't even thinking of the job we were doing that day. I was enjoying our day out, enjoying being with him. That the guide who happened to be with our group happened to be Alejandra Henao was a coincidence of epic proportions.
"It wasn't me"
"What do you mean?"
"Someone was after Ali"
"How do you know?"
"We spoke before she died"
"Querida, rest now. We'll talk through this later"
"I love you"
"Te amo, I'll be here with you"

It was another two days before the doctors at the hospital would even let me get out of the bed. The rock that impaled my thigh had done a lot of damage. Fortunately, there were no broken bones but there was a lot of tissue and blood vessel damage. They'd made repairs and stitched me back up but wanted to see some healing before I could move. I wasn't even sure about my head, other than it gave me headaches.

Ranger had stayed with me the whole time; it was as though he couldn't leave me alone. In the end I insisted that he took some time to rest properly but I was sure he was annoyed with me about it. By the time he returned to the hospital four hours later I was crying my eyes out because I thought he'd left me. The following day I was allowed to leave as long as Bones was keeping an eye on me. I wasn't too sure how I felt about being back in Miami.

As I was wheeled from the hospital I was surprised at how bright and warm it was outside.

"Ranger where are we going?"
"We'll spend a couple of nights here in Miami and then if you feel well enough, you can head back up to Trenton"

"I think I'd like that but maybe there might be more to find down here in Miami"
"Babe, I don't want you getting involved anymore"
"What?"
"It's too dangerous"
If I could have stood up and stormed away I would have done. How could he do this to me, how could he suddenly cut me out?

"Babe, I couldn't survive if anything happened to you"

"What about me, what if something happens to you? It doesn't work like that Ranger. I can't live my life in a cocoon, being frightened of my own shadow. What happened had nothing to do with me. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and as usual things happen to me, shit happens"

By now I was so annoyed I was shouting at him. I'm sure everyone leaving the hospital was listening, but I didn't care. I saw the pain cross Ranger's face, but I wasn't sure if that was because I was embarrassing him or because he wanted me far away from him, away from any danger that surrounded him. As that thought went through my mind my heart started to break and the tears rushed to my eyes. I felt myself being lifted and seated in a car, with arms around me as I quietly wept. Was this the end of what had only just started?

I wasn't aware of where we drove to, only that we had arrived. As I looked out of the window, I was surprised that we were stopped in front of a small detached house. My heart sank as I realized this was his way of keeping me safe, keeping me out of the loop. I couldn't say anything without breaking down again but this time I managed to get myself out of the car and limp to the front door. The door opened and Les was stood there ready to help me inside. It was then that I heard the sound of the car leaving.

"The rooms are all on the ground floor so no stairs to navigate. Bones will be here soon to check you over"
I simply followed Les as he walked through the house, pleased when he showed me into a bedroom.

"Thanks Les"
I turned and closed the door, much to Les's surprise, and then limped across the floor and lay down on the bed. Tears erupted again as what was happening hit me, he was pushing me away from him and I felt totally powerless to do anything about it.

After two days both Les and Bones were worried about me. They told me that and tried everything they could to bring me out of the mood I'd fallen into. I refused to leave the room, sleeping and crying a lot. Yeah usually I became so exhausted with crying I fell asleep. I hated sleeping because that's when the dreams came. Dreams of being buried alive and trapped in the dark. Those were nothing compared to the anguish of seeing Ranger turning and leaving me in that god awful tunnel. I refused to eat, not because I wanted them to worry, because the idea of eating made me feel ill. So after two days I really was starting to feel ill but nothing could take away the pain from my heart that was breaking apart. After trying to persuade me, then placate me Les was getting to the end of his tether. He was starting to get annoyed at me. The answer was simple, I locked the door and barricaded it with a chair to keep him out.

That night I cried myself to sleep again and again the dreams came. The same feelings swept through me as I found myself underneath stones, the feeling of being buried alive. This time though as I fought to free myself Ranger was knelt next to me, instead of helping me he was scooping handfuls of dirt and dropping them over me. He kept saying
"Babe, I don't want you getting involved anymore, you have to stay here. It's too dangerous for you"

His face held the same expression as it had at the hospital. A pained expression that showed me that he was leaving me alone. I know I was screaming for him to stay, not to leave me alone. I also know that I was screaming that I wished I'd died in that tunnel. That had been a thought that had grown in my mind. Had I died he wouldn't have to worry about me or leave me. He'd survive because that's what he did, but I knew I couldn't survive without him.

I felt arms around me, trying to calm and comfort me but I didn't want them, didn't need them. I fought to break free and to return to my dream, to be alone with my own misery and heart break.

I felt myself being held tightly, being rocked and the cadence of a voice broke through. As I recognized Ranger's voice, I felt my anger rising. How dare he be here. Did he think he could just walse in here and tell me to be a good girl and then walk out having saved me from myself. Did he think he could talk me into eating and sleeping at night? I wouldn't let him control me like that because it would just show that he'd never really loved me at all. Never really appreciated what I would do and worst of all, never trusted me enough to let me into his life. As the hold on me continued I started to scream at him.

"Go away Ranger, leave me alone"

"I hate you, I don't want you here"
"Babe please, listen to me"
"No, you don't get to say that word and expect me to do as you want. I can't be here, I hate it"

"Just let me talk"
"No, I don't want to hear it. I don't want any more heartbreak; I can't survive it anymore. Just go, don't make excuses. I know how it is between us now, so just go"
"You have no idea what it is between us"
"I do, I saw it in your face before you dumped me at this house. You left me alone when I needed you the most. Yeah, the injuries were healing but then you just went and made me feel insignificant and useless like you don't trust me. Or like everyone else, that I'm just a disaster waiting to happen and that you don't want to be around me"

The arms that were so tightly wrapped around me released me and I was blinking as a small table light came on. Ranger was sat on the bed next to me but this time he had hold of my shoulders so I had to face him.

"Have you finished? Because now I get my say. I have never felt so broken as I did when you disappeared and then finding you in that tunnel nearly crippled me. I couldn't leave you at the hospital alone, every time I closed my eyes, I saw you laying in the dirt and rubble. When we left the hospital, I couldn't bear the idea that you'd get hurt again because of me, my job, or who I am"
"Isn't that my decision to make as well. Half the time when I get hurt it's because of me or where I am. They were after Ali, not me. I was some stupid tourist who got in the way"

"I know, it doesn't make it any easier to know that things will always happen around you. I thought maybe if you were somewhere safe it would easier for me to deal with. Babe I love you so much that I would leave you, if it meant you staying alive"
"Then just go"

I couldn't take any more of this. He was prepared to leave me, for what? His peace of mind, to save him from enduring any guilt? My temper had subsided as I'd listened to him, letting all those thoughts back into my mind. I'd lost him forever now, and no amount of fighting or arguing was about to make any difference to how he felt.
"I can't. I can't stay away from you. I haven't slept without you next to me. I see your face everywhere I go. I need you like the air that I breathe"

I stopped trying to fight him and really looked into his face. My temper was subsiding and maybe there was a glimmer of hope building in my heart.
"What are you saying Ranger?"

"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I said once to you that I never want to regret the love that we share, and I would always regret not sharing it at all. I don't want any regrets Babe. I want you with me, as my partner, my lover and as my wife"
Wait a minute, rewind that, did he just say as his wife? I felt his finger under my chin closing my mouth and then his lips were on mine. The kiss was gentle yet passionate, wanting yet loving as we each molded our lips together and allowed our feelings to unfold. As we came up for air there were tears rolling down my cheeks and I'm sure Ranger's eyes were moist as well. He buried his face in my hair as his words in Spanish were whispered into my ear.

"Forever Babe, Para siempre, como mi pareja, amante y esposa. Mi alma gemela"

I felt his hold on me tighten and suddenly my world started to right itself. I pulled away to look once more at his face, he looked more relaxed and dare I say I was sure there was a quirk of a smile on his lips.

"What now?"
"We stay here, get you better, get this job wrapped up and then get married"
"Just like that?"

"You haven't actually given me an answer"
"To which part?"
"Will you marry me Stephanie Michelle Plum?"
I was waiting for the panic to set in, after all that's what always happened when Joe had broached the subject of getting married. Instead a warmth seemed to grow from within me. I wanted it, I was more than happy to spend my life with him. I saw the worry cross his face as he looked at me, was he worried about my answer? I smiled back at him as I gave my answer watching as a full smile appeared across his face.

"Yes. I don't want any regrets either"

He reached down and removed a plastic envelope from his pocket, tipping the contents into his hand. I watched as he found the ring that I'd been wearing. The ring that I first saw in Hawaii. He held my left hand as he carefully pushed the ring onto my finger and lifted my hand to kiss the ring.

"Forever Babe"
I looked down at the ring that now adorned my finger. It really was beautiful and suited me to perfection. The round blue diamond reflecting the light as it sat within smaller diamonds around it. The setting was such that the white gold swept around it with intricate engravings almost protecting the stones that it held.

"If you want a different ring then that's okay. I had this ring made with you in mind and had to have you wearing it in Hawaii"

"No, I love this ring. It holds so many good memories of us together. It really is beautiful"

"I'm so sorry Babe. I never meant to hurt you this much"
"I know. I never realized just how broken I would be with you gone"

"We need to get you better. First is food. I'll fetch some here while you take a shower"
"Is Les still here?"
"No, he's at Rangeman"

As he moved away from me, I studied his face and automatically my hand moved to caress his cheek. He looked so tired, though he had shaved before coming here, but I also noticed bruising on his left cheek.

"How did you hurt your cheek?"
"Santos, he was so annoyed with me for how I'd treated you. He lost it on the mats and to be honest I was prepared to take a beating"
"You're not here because Les made you come, are you?"

I felt a doubt creep into my head that Ranger's decision to be here and what he'd said to me were because he felt guilty.

"No. He simply pushed me to look at what I was doing, at what I could loose and how I was being selfish. I was already planning on coming here. I couldn't keep you at arms-length anymore, and I was terrified that you wouldn't take me back"
"I want you and everything that comes with you. We're stronger together and that also means me being part of the world you live in"

"Can you cope with that. I'm not exactly a conventional guy?"
"I'm not a conventional woman. I hated the idea of marrying Joe and all the expectations of being a Burg wife, it isn't who I am"

"I know that now. Just be sure that you're prepared for all that is involved by being with me"

"I am sure"

I watched as he got up from the bed and disappeared through the door. A look at the clock by the bed told me it was only 5.30 in the morning. I felt weak and tired as I made to get up onto my feet. My leg still hurt so it was uncomfortable limping across to the bathroom. Once there, while the water for the shower heated up, I replaced the dressing with a waterproof one. At least the wound didn't look red or feel hot, so I felt lucky that there was no infection. Once showered I did feel slightly better and with a robe on that I found on the back of the door returned to the bedroom. Ranger was sat with his back against the headboard and a tray resting on his knee. The pillows had been pushed up, so I carefully pulled myself onto the bed to sit against them. I have to admit one look at the contents of the tray did make me feel hungry. Ranger passed me a plate and fork, then sat back watching as I started on the scrambled egg. It tasted good, with some bacon and vegetables mixed in. I ate most of it but stopped when my stomach felt full. The plate was replaced with a steaming mug of hot chocolate, seeing as it was rich and creamy that soon disappeared. Ranger took the tray and walked across the room to place it on a small table at the foot of the bed. As he returned, he removed his cargos and T-shirt then slid under the covers, pulling me down the bed to curl against him. With the covers pulled over us and the feel of his lips on my head I easily fell into a dreamless sleep.

I was comfortable and warm as I woke up. There were rays of sunlight coming through the drapes. I knew Ranger was still with me. My head was resting on his shoulder with his arm under my neck and his other arm resting on my hip. I looked up to see him watching me and felt his arm move from my hip allowing his hand to gently stroke down my hair to my cheek. He tucked a wayward curl behind my ear before he said anything.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I am"

I was looking at my hand as it lay across his chest, looking at the ring that was on my finger. I have to say I was worried that the events that had happened between us last night were just a dream.

"No dream Babe"
"Out loud?"
"Yes. I won't ever leave you again, I promise"

"I'm sorry that I always seem to find danger"
"I'm not blaming you for what happened. It brought home to me how precarious your life can be, and I suppose I blamed myself that I couldn't stop you being hurt"
"Don't. You got to me and helped get me out. Just please don't ever shut me out from you"

"Forever Babe, Para siempre, como mi pareja, amante y esposa. Mi alma gemela"

"What does that mean? You will have to teach me Spanish"

"Forever, as my partner, lover and wife. My soulmate"

"I like the sound of that"

"Bones will be here soon, he was worried about you and he wants to check you over. How's your leg feeling?"

"Sore, but it seemed fine when I showered"
"Good. Do you want to get up and get dressed or have him come here?"
"I'll get dressed. I haven't been out of this room yet"
"You'll like the place"

I watched as he sat up, being careful not to bump me, then as he walked across to the bathroom. I would never get over how that body of his could turn me on, but knowing that my injury would curtail anything like that I leant my head back into the pillows. As soon as Ranger emerged from the bathroom I went in and used the toilet. My hair wasn't too bad considering I'd slept with it being wet. Once brushed, I pulled it back into a ponytail and returned to the bedroom to find some clothes laid out on the bed. Ranger had found a dress for me to wear, I assume so that Bones could check my wound out. As I slipped it on over my head, I was disappointed that it seemed a bit big for me. It made me wonder where the dress had come from. It was a beautiful dress, a pale blue that should have fit to the waist and then came down to just above my knee. It had thin straps and a V neck with mock buttons down the front. I went barefoot out of the door and into a hallway. There was another door opposite, but I followed the hall until I came into a large open plan area. Here there was a seating area with a dark brown leather couch facing an open log fire. There was a large flat screen TV on the wall and the usual electronics that I assumed was a sound system. It was the glass doors that attracted my attention though, because beyond those doors was a beautiful view of the ocean. The water looked calm and blue as waves gently swept onto a golden sanded beach. How had I missed knowing that this house was by the sea, how had I missed the smell of the salt air? I felt Ranger come up behind me, holding me to his chest, his hands resting on my stomach.

"It's beautiful here Ranger"

"Yes, it is. It's a quiet area of the beach as not many people manage to walk this far down. I've made us some lunch, do you want to sit outside?"
"Please, though my stomach still feels full from the egg you brought me"
"You've lost too much weight Babe"

I felt him pull at the waist of the dress and realized maybe that was why the dress was too big on me. I hadn't really noticed how I looked since being here, I hadn't cared enough to bother. I watched as he opened the lock on the door and slid the glass to the side. A blast of warm air caressed my face and arms and now I could smell that amazing aroma of salty air. Ranger held my hand as he guided me outside onto a decked area and then along to where a wooden table and chairs were. I sat down as he once again disappeared returning quickly with a tray and bowls. As he set the tray on the table, I could smell the mixture of cheeses and herbs. The plate he placed in front of me looked and smelt like Fettuccine Alfredo while he had what looked like a salad. I was surprised once I started to eat that I was actually hungry. I was aware that the helping wasn't as large as I would normally have but the fact that I ate everything made me feel better. At least no one could be disappointed that I wasn't eating.

"Babe, do you want to stay out here?"
"That would be nice"
"Come on, I'll take you down to the sun beds"
Once standing I was surprised when Ranger swept me up into his arms and walked down a few steps to the side of the house. Here I could see another decked area with umbrellas and sun chairs. To one side there was also a plunge pool that definitely looked inviting.

"Let the wound heal some more before going in there"

I was seated onto one of the beds with the sunshine blocked out by an umbrella, surprised at how comfortable the cushions were. The back rest was up, and my legs stretched out in front of me. Ranger pulled another bed over next to me and sat down facing me.

"Babe you mentioned the guide Ali before and how it was because of her that you were attacked. Who was she?"
I looked at him quizzically, had I never mentioned who she was to him before? I was sure I had done, but surely he would know what she was called and then be able to put the pieces together.

"Babe?"
"Sorry, I thought I told you who she was"
"No. Other than saying her name was Ali. I had Gael follow through with her. She was called Ali Paz, aged 36 who worked as a guide at the cave"
"That was her mother's maiden name. The woman who died down there was Alejandra Fábrega"