A/N: Sorry it has taken me a little bit to get another chapter up. I have trying to pace myself and allow myself to take a break. Here it is, though. Another chapter up. And we are almost to the end!! Hope you enjoy!!
I have to admit, Burr was very thorough with his analysis of my predicament. I was happy to tell my story and not receive pity. I received solutions and a plan of action.
"Okay, Eliza, we can press charges. It will be a little sticky, but we have the upperhand." Aaron stated hopefully. His footsteps sounded in my head as he paced my kitchen.
"When can we get into a courtroom?" Alexander wondered. He stood up from the chair next to me to stop Aaron in his pacing.
"I can contact Judge Jay about it today, but you know how the court system works. It might take days or weeks, maybe even months, before we get in."
"John Jay, James Madison, and I worked on the Federalist Papers together, does that help?"
"It might." Aaron pulls out his phone, "Let me call him and I can check to see if he can see us today."
He walked off a little bit. Alex sat back down next to. I pulled my knees up to my chest, holding myself. I zoned out his call. I couldn't get my mind off of what Alexander told Burr earlier. Was I truly hiding? Was I afraid of letting people in? I thought about it. I have every reason to want to hide and to be afraid, but that doesn't mean I should become numb to everything. I have to admit that I feel numb because of everything that happened. Everything in my world changed in 24 hours. I found out I was pregnant, I was assualted again, I had a life changing dinner, I found out my sister left, I thought Alex was going to leave, I got raped again, and I had a miscarriage. I mean if my world wasn't turned upside down, then I don't know how much more I can take to get a full 180.
I saw Aaron put his phone away. I stood up, taking a step out of my train of thoughts. Alex followed my motions. I didn't want to ask about the trial. To see if another insensitive man would look at my life and tell me if it was going to shit or not. Alex gave Aaron a look. A look full of questions, the most important one being 'is he coming over?' Just based on the expression Aaron's face wears, I think we are getting our way. He nodded his head to confirm what we were thinking. John Jay was going to be over at my house to conduct my trail in my living room. Why didn't I feel elated to finally get justice? I was going to get a sense of relief, but yet I didn't even feel the tiniest bit of joy for the possibility of it.
Alex hugged me, his face buried in my hair. He whispered, "Are you okay, Eliza?"
"I'm fine." I lied. Could he tell?
He pulled away from me. His hands rested below my shoulder. His damn eyes that tripped me up everytime looked into mine. He could tell. "Eliza, you and I both know that is a lie. What's wrong?"
I shook my head, my eyes looking at anything else but him. I didn't want to tell him that I had heard the way he cried about me, about what I said. "Eliza… we promised, no secrets."
I suppressed a cry, but I knew it wasn't going to come anyway. I knew I wasn't going to cry. My voice was hesitant and soft, "I heard what you said, out on the porch."
His face fell.
"I don't know what you're supposed to do, either, Alexander. I'm… I'm just…" I confessed to him. He took me into his arms again, "I'm numb, Alex. I'm just numb. I don't feel anything anymore. That's why I didn't break. That's why I haven't broken into a million pieces. I don't feel anything… and I'm falling apart in my own hands but somehow I'm not shattered yet, which is making me feel nothing at all."
I don't cry. Not one tear falls. Yet as he cradled my body, his head rested in the crook of my neck, I felt the moisture fall on my shoulder, soaking through the t-shirt I stole from him. He is hurting, and it's all my fault. If I had just not asked about what he was doing before and after work or not talked to Jefferson, then none of this would have happened. I would still feel things.
Alex, didn't let me go, for even a second. I think he thought if he took his hands away from my body then I would fall apart and he wouldn't know what to do with himself. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, but yet I didn't feel anything. Then, there was a knock at the door.
He peeled himself away from me. I could tell that he didn't want to leave me. He pulled open the door and there was a rather slim man standing at our door.
"Mr. John Jay! How are you on this fine day?"
"Worried that I have to take a house call for a court case, but happy to help." John hugs Alex and shakes Burr's hand, "Where is the other half of the case?"
"Right this way, Mr. Jay." Alex leads him away. Once he was out of ear shot, Burr came over to me and grabbed my hand. I flinched away from his touch. He didn't look hurt by my reaction. He tried again, I didn't flinch this time.
"Eliza, Alex is worried about you. I couldn't help but overhear what you told him. I know what that feeling is like. If you ever need anything, whether it be someone to talk to or just a little extra help around here, don't hesitate to contact me."
"Thank you, Aaron." I pulled away. I was too close to breaking apart, I felt the urge to burst into tears fall into my lap. I pushed it away from me. I walked into the living room. Alex was talking with Judge Jay and George Washington. Then, I saw James Madison talking to Thomas Jefferson in my living room. I don't know how I didn't pass out right then and there. Probably because Burr, who was walking in behind me, caught me before I could fall to the floor. I grabbed onto him for stability when Alex noticed what had happened to me.
Burr moved me to the couch as Alex rushed over, "Are you alright, Eliza?"
"Alex, I'm hitting my breaking point."
He nodded and cradled my body, a single tear left my eye. I was finally feeling, again.