They stood in a garden that he had planted for her behind her father's house. Lilies, lilacs, rhododendrons, and orchids sprouted from every direction, filling the air with their floral fragrances. The sun was overhead and strong but his tall white tophat was casting her face in cool darkness. So close to him now, she could almost see his face. He took the monocle off as he moved closer, leaning in for a kiss, and she stared at his face fully for the first time, unable to focus on the blurry features. When had her vision become so fuzzy-?

And suddenly they were out on a small boat on a windy day. Somehow they were edging into an old forgotten memory she wasn't quite sure was even hers. He was rowing the boat with a silent ease, and she had his silk cape and coat wrapped around her to keep her warm. It was one of those days that she had forgotten to wear a jacket and was suffering the consequences. She pulled the cape tighter around her as a faint, chilly breeze blew by, stronger than the last. She looked out over the ocean to see a blue expanse that went on for miles and miles. Turning back to him, she found him reaching out his hand to hold her chin. She leaned over to try to kiss him once more, when suddenly a strong gust of wind overtook the boat and flipped it into the rocky, black waves below.

"Kid!" she screamed.

He was still on the boat, which was now somehow righted and floating further and further away. He raised a hand to wave and smiled at her with gentle eyes. The smile never reached his mouth.

"Kid!" she shouted again, gurgling as her mouth filled with water. "Help me!"

"I can't go in the water," he answered, shaking his head sadly. "I don't want to be electrocuted."

"Electrocuted?" She gazed around the ocean to find millions of toasters surrounding her, all bobbing like apples in a barrel. "Where did these come from?"

"You're not where you're supposed to be," he told her. "You shouldn't be here."

"But I belong with you!"

He shook his head. "You're too weak to come with me."

"But I'm strong enough! Please believe me!"

Kid and the boat floated slowly further and further away, pushing through the cluttered bobbing toasters. Feeling herself drowning, she flailed in the water, before grabbing onto one of the many nearby toasters. To her surprise, it wriggled out of her grasp and morphed into a large catfish, swimming away quickly. Spinning her head around, she watched the rest of the toasters transform into catfish, one by one, before swimming away and towards the direction that Kid had left in.

She felt strong arms lift her out of the water, like she was being lifted out of a bathtub at the end of a long summer's day. She was set down on a patch of dry grass, back in the garden, and turned to discover the face of her rescuer.

Kuroba Toichi.

He put a finger to his mouth as he smiled mysteriously at her. "Let's keep this as our little secret, okay, Aoko-chan?"

"Aoko!" A familiar voice called from somewhere behind her. She turned around and saw her house, its peeling sideboards replaced with pristine and new ones. When had she had the time to repair them? She was so busy these days, what with all the schoolwork and homework and lies and deceit. She entered through the back door to find her father in their kitchen, bent over the morning newspaper with a coffee cup in his hand. "That damn villain sent another riddle!"

"Riddle? Villain?"

"He's an elusive one, that Kaitou 1412," her dad said. "He hasn't appeared in over eight years, why now?"

"Eight years? But Kid has been stealing for the past few months, what do you..." The words died on Aoko's lips. This scene was strangely familiar to Aoko. Gazing around at the kitchen, she recalled it perfectly; it was the day Kid had come back from his impromptu eight year hiatus without rhyme or reason. But -

"Have you forgotten?" Toichi was standing beside her now, juggling some fruit from her dining table's fruit bowl. "I died. Kaito was so upset. He wanted to be just like me."

"Why are you telling me this? I already know all of this," Aoko said.

"But I don't," the Inspector said sullenly, still perusing the paper with mild interest. "And neither do you, Aoko. Don't kid yourself."

Toichi stopped his juggling and put all but an orange back in the fruit bowl. Peeling it in one motion, he removed the rind to reveal a glowing, jet-black gem.

"Give this to Kaito," he ordered as he handed it to her.

It was heavy in her hands. Staring down into it, she felt it pulling her into its darkness. "What is it?"

"It's an explanation. He won't be happy."

She pulled her gaze away and immediately felt the energy pulsating from it receding, dispersing elsewhere into the universe. Toichi and her father were gone, and she was back on the boat with Kid, the sea breeze again whipping against her face. She could taste the salty brine. Kid's white cape was folded up and placed neatly on the ground between them. In her lap she held the heavy jewel. "What do I do with this?"

"Do what he told you," Kid said.

(Nice dream)

The jewel slipped out of her grasp and landed with a thud on the boat's floor. Leaning over to pick it up, she found it was immovable. She cried, "I can't pick it up!"

Kid stopped rowing to lean over to inspect her dilemma. He ran his gloved fingers over the gem and chuckled.

"I see what the issue is." He reached into his coat pocket and took out a corkscrew.

"What are you going to do with that?"

He ignored her question and pressed the corkscrew into the jewel. It began spinning quickly, as if powered by some electrical drill, before shattering into a million tiny pieces.

"Don't tell anyone, alright?" He began throwing the shards overboard into the water. They floated for a few seconds before dissolving. He put a finger to his mouth. "Let's keep this as our little secret, okay, Aoko-chan?"

(Nice dream)

"Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know what to say."

His eyes twinkled at her. "Good."

She looked back over at the blue expanse, still just as beautiful as before. "Why did you let me come back?"

"I didn't," Kid said. "You're not here."

She dipped a finger into the water below. A few inches below the surface, she felt her fingertip come into contact with a hard surface. "Where are you, then?"

"On a small boat on a windy day, far away from here, escaping a flood in the West again."

"And where am I?"

"Lost."

She pressed her entire hand onto the surface she touched before. It was just as solid as the boat's floor, if not more. Standing up, she stepped out of the boat and began to walk on the surface, only a small amount of water lapping at her feet as she proceeded.

"Good luck, Aoko," Kid called after her. "Please don't look back! I won't be able to save you if you do!"

She walked and walked until the water disappeared, and she found herself once again in the garden. Kid was waiting for her by a trellis and a few rose bushes. "What took you so long, Aoko?"

"I was lost," she said. "I was looking for you."

He said, "I wish you wouldn't."

He held out the black jewel, now intact, and put it in her hands. It was as light as a feather, and when her fingers touched it, it glowed bright blue. "This is for you."

Kid looked at her with expectation. The jewel, however, revealed nothing, and his face was still a blurry mess.

"Thank you."

(Nice dream)

When her groggy eyes finally blinked open, she was surprised to see Conan's body sprawled out next to her, still in the type of deep sleep that only a child could have. Glancing around the unfamiliar room she now found herself in, she noted a few initial peculiarities. First, there were no windows or doors in sight. To solve the issue of not having any outside lighting, there was a strong fluorescent bulb hanging from the ceiling that illuminated the room, and a hastily plugged in lamp sitting on a cluttered worktable a few feet away from her. Shadows were cast around the room, making the unfamiliar space seem larger and scarier.

The second peculiarity Aoko noticed was the sheer amount of objects in the room. There were close to - to a bajillion, if she had to garner a guess. Not that that was much of a guess, though. A bajillion isn't even a real number, she chided herself. Stupid Aoko, stupid stupid stupid! Probably the most curious of the clutter was a giant convertible blue-and-white sportscar shoved in the corner, probably never been driven a day in its life. Gadgets and gizmos and other technological marvels poured out of its seats, as if they had been tossed there by a scatterbrained inventor who couldn't be bothered to keep the room in any sort of order whatsoever.

If this messy room was Kid's doing, Aoko had a feeling she'd be doing a lot of cleaning in the near future. And a lot of yelling and lecturing. How could that man even think it was okay to keep such an important room in such a state of disarray?!

Beside her, Conan began to stir. He blinked his eyes open, then sprung up as if he had been electrocuted. "Nakamori-san, how long have I been asleep?"

"I don't know," she said. "I just woke up, myself."

"That guy probably gassed us and brought us here, then," Conan said, gazing around. "Where is he, anyway?"

Aoko shrugged. She didn't know, but there was no point responding to a rhetorical question like that.

"Hey sleepy heads," a voice came from a far corner. "I'm right over here, guys."

Aoko and Conan looked past stacks and stacks of clutter to find the thief staring at them from behind a drafting table, legs propped up and body reclined in a swivel chair. He had changed from his Kudo Shinichi disguise into a full black ensemble, complete with a baseball hat and sunglasses.

"Sorry we didn't see you past all this garbage!" Aoko complained as the two stomped over to the table and sat down in two chairs Kid had produced for them. "Don't you ever clean around here?"

Kid scratched his cheek. "Well, I don't really have a lot of time..."

"Just admit you're too lazy to clean up after yourself."

"I mean..."

Conan coughed. "So, Kid, I get that being an asshole is kind of your M.O., but gassing us? Really?"

"It was a means to an end," Kid shrugged. "Would you have preferred the taser again?"

"Ha ha." Conan drawled humorlessly. "Anyway, it was an unnecessary precaution. Were you trying to keep your lair's location a secret or something? Because I already deduced it."

Kid gaped at him. "What? When? How?"

"When I figured out your identity. There were a few possible spots I came up with, but the fact of you gassing us to bring us here narrowed it down to only one place."

"Well. Regardless, even if I didn't gas you I'd still have to knock Aoko here out. So might as well let two birds nap together, right?"

"Actually, Aoko can probably deduce your lair's location just with the information she already knows," Conan said simply, turning towards Aoko expectedly.

Aoko perked up at the mention of her name, having been still a bit groggy from her forced catnap. She rolled Conan's words over in her head. How the hell would she know where Kid's lair was? She didn't even know who the guy was, for goodness sake! Still, if Conan said she could figure it out, then she could figure it out. She felt herself zone away from the conversation as Kid mumbled something like, "Aoko doesn't know where my lair is, blah blah blah, that's crazy, tantei-kun blah blah."

Perhaps if she listed out the facts she knew instead of the ones she didn't. After all, even if she didn't know the current Kid's identity, she knew the past Kid's identity: Kuroba Toichi. It stood to reason that they would have the same lair - after all, looking around the place, she could pick out certain relics of an older time, including a tape recorder and record player, that were probably passed down from Toichi. That meant that this place had to have been somewhere readily accessible by Toichi. Not only that, but it had to have been able to sit undisturbed for years without the current Kid's knowledge - this was assuming Kid only found out about Toichi being Kid recently, rather than knowing for the past eight years. She wasn't quite sure why she was making that assumption but it just felt... concretely right. So that almost certainly ruled out the possibility of the lair being a rented unit, unless Chikage had been caring for it in the interim. Aoko highly doubted that possibility because Chikage was never around as it was, so the odds of her holding onto an extremely incriminating collection of evidence connecting Toichi to his secret night life when she wasn't even around to protect it were slim to none. So that left very limited options, obviously, but what were those options?

Obviously, Jii was an accomplice. That much was obvious from her visit to the Blue Parrot. Was the lair in the Blue Parrot? She recalled hearing Jii talk to someone in the back room when she had first arrived, and had previously deduced that that 'someone' had been Kid himself. But surely Kid had known she had visited there and was smart enough to realize she had already connected the dots between him and the Blue Parrot? In which case there would be no reason to hide the Blue Parrot's connection to him, since she already knew about it...

So it was something else, wasn't it? Another location he didn't want her to know about. It must be something obvious, for Kid to want to hide it so badly...

"Aha!" She cried, interrupting whatever heated argument Kid and Conan were having at the moment. They paused their petty ribbings to stare at her in expectant confusion. She continued, "I know where your lair is, Kid!"

"And where would that be?"

"Kaito's living room!"

Kid's eyebrows shot fifty feet in the air and his jaw dropped even lower. "And what makes you think that?!"

"The giant door-sized poster of Kuroba Toichi hanging on the living room wall. And the fifteen-foot-wide block of dead space between the living room and kitchen that I never really thought about until now."

Kid pursed his lips together as he seemed to try to keep his Poker Face on straight. Failing, he stood up and excused himself. "I have to go make a call."

Aoko watched Kid step over a few piles of clutter before exiting the room through a giant poster of Kid that swiveled to reveal the familiar picture of Kuroba Toichi on its other side. As he passed through the poster-door, she saw a glimpse of the Kuroba living room. Kid's voice faded away, so that Aoko was only able to hear the first few words of his phone call: "Hey, 'Phantom Lady', so we need to talk about that brilliant, totally inconspicuous room of yours..."

That left Aoko and Conan alone in the Kid's secret hideaway. Speaking of - Aoko turned back to to Conan to find his chair empty, still swiveling slowly on its central support axis. "Edogawa-kun...?"

"Over here, Nakamori-san!" Conan's bell-like voice chimed out from across the room. He was sitting beside a tall bookshelf and surrounded by multicolored files, flipping through them at a rapid pace and discarding them in a neat stack as he finished each one, somehow organizing the files better than they were originally found. He was almost... un-human, the way he flipped through the pages. Almost machine-like, even.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, navigating towards him. Really, how had that boy made it all the way over there so quickly? "Are those Kid's heist plans?"

"No, not really..." Conan said, discarding five files at once. "They're descriptions of the jewels, but not his heists. The file folders are color-coded according to what types of gems they describes - blue for emerald, green for ruby, red for sapphire. You get the gist."

"...Blue for emerald?" Aoko questioned after a moment of befuddlement.

"It's Kid we're talking about, after all," Conan said, rolling his eyes. "His system doesn't have to make sense to us. But it's there, and it's highly organized." Conan thumbed through a certain folder a little slower than the others. A red folder - India's largest sapphire, the Blue Birthday. "I didn't think he would care so much about these gemstones, considering he doesn't hold on to them for long. I just assumed they were mere props for his magic shows. Perhaps they have some value to him after all..."

"Oh, that's right. You don't know," Aoko said.

Conan put the red folder down and looked at her with that icy, piercing gaze of his. The calculating gaze that could melt even the hardest of criminals in their spot. "I don't know what?"

"Kid's motive." Aoko swept her gaze to the side, growing uncomfortable as Conan's stare sharpened. "I don't think I should say any more."

Conan was silent for a moment, probably analyzing every fiber of her being. When he spoke, it was like a sword stabbing her in her side. "Nakamori-san, I wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Kid."

"What about it?" She said, probably a little too defensively.

"I don't really understand what you two are to each other exactly, and I know it's not my place to say anything, but -" Conan took a big sigh. Was this somehow hard for him to say? "- whatever it is, it seems a little unhealthy to me."

Aoko felt steam rise in her chest suddenly, fists clenching as she simmered like a pot ready to boil. The nerve of this guy, to talk about her relationship with Kid when he knew nothing about it! "Of course you would say that! You're a detective chasing after Kid. What would you know about our relationship -"

"I have a girlfriend, you know," Conan said softly, sounding very far away. Aoko felt her building rage dissipate in an instant, instead feeling confused at the rapid change in topic. "Her name's Ran and she's amazing. We grew up together and did everything together. She's strong, and smart, and kind. You would like her if you met her. I think I've liked her as long as I've known her." Aoko could have sworn Conan's cheeks turned red as he said that. "I turned into Conan before I had the chance to tell her how I feel. We only started dating after I took a temporary antidote and confessed to her, but as it is we barely get to see each other. I mean, I see her all the time but she doesn't see me. I call her when I can, because I like her and I want to have a relationship with her, but I can't be honest with her because there's an entire part of me I can't tell her about. In the end, I can't really even be me when I'm talking to her as my true self. I can't be me as long as I'm Conan."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think Kid and I are similar, as much as I hate to say it. You said you two are in a relationship, but who are you really with? Kid? Or the person behind the monocle?"

Aoko shook her head, and crossed her arms defiantly. Like hell she would let this kid try to psychoanalyze her. "First of all, I never said Kid and I are in a relationship. We just went on one date and we're still kind of figuring things out. Nothing's official. And second, I don't even understand what you're trying to say, they're the same person -"

"No, they're not. Not to you, at least." Conan said. "Ran knows me as two different people, even though I know just her. If I ever come clean to Ran, it's going to hurt her because she's going to have to reconcile two people she knew separately as the same. One, Kudo Shinichi, who she is romantically involved with - and two, Edogawa Conan, who is not romantically involved with. She has feelings for one and not the other. Do you understand?"

"But I don't know Kid as a separate person. I just know Kid, not his real identity. So no real harm done."

"Are you sure about that?"

Aoko squared her shoulders and set her jaw firmly in place. "Yes, I am sure. Kid wouldn't lie to me like that, as Kid or as his real identity." A flicker of her conversation with Chikage a day earlier flashed through her mind. Chikage knew who Kid was, but gave no indication that Aoko knew him already. Chikage had made it clear she wouldn't reveal Kid's identity, but it wasn't like Chikage wouldn't tell Aoko if it was someone Aoko already knew, right? "And besides, I think I would know if someone I know already is actually Kid."

"Denial is a very deep river in Egypt, Nakamori-san. I would wade carefully," Conan said. "I think you will be very surprised to know who Kid is."

"Well, why don't you just tell me, if you're so convinced I already know the guy?" Aoko fumed, her anger from earlier slowly sizzling back through her veins.

"Because I don't want to hurt you. I bet you could figure out your relationship with Kid, just - not like this. At this rate, it'd probably be best if you never know who Kid really is."

"Well, what about you and your girlfriend? How can you sit there and lecture me on my relationship when you are knowingly deceiving someone you love? You sound pretty hypocritical right now," Aoko bit back.

"I do, don't I?" Conan barked out a sad laugh. "That's the irony of it all. I guess it's hard not to be selfish when it comes to love."

Aoko was about to respond when the spinning of the Kuroba Toichi portrait alerted them to the return of Kid. He had a serious, deep expression, probably from his conversation with the Phantom Lady - the connection she had to any of this Aoko still had yet to contemplate - but suddenly his signature charismatic grin appeared on his face. "What's all this talk about love that I just interrupted? 'I guess it's hard not to be selfish when it comes to love?' Tantei-kun, do you really believe that crap?" Kid shook his head theatrically, before producing a bouquet of roses for Aoko. "Love can't be love if it's selfish. Then it's just misdirected cowardice. Love, at its core, is selfless. That's what makes it so beautiful."

Aoko took the bouquet from Kid after a moment's hesitation, catching a disapproving glance from Conan as she did. Conan didn't think her relationship with Kid was healthy - and as much as it hurt her to admit it, maybe there was a small piece of her that agreed with him. Perhaps it was true that her relationship with Kid was built on false pretenses and lies and selfishness. What would she do if she ever found out Kid's identity? How hurt would she be? Was Conan right that it would be better for her not to know? She and Kid obviously liked each other, maybe even more, but was that enough? Was that actually the problem? Conan made it sound like the more she liked Kid, the worse off she was. Maybe she really ought to just toss the flower bouquet out and run home. Maybe she really ought to just turn Kid over to her father, like the good daughter her father thought she was. Maybe she ought to face her own denials, instead of avoiding them and hoping her greatest fears weren't true.

But the flowers just smelled so sweet.

AN: Thank you to everyone who's been sending me kind, positive messages. Thank you also to everyone who shared their stories of loss. I miss my friend every day, and in a strange way it's comforting to know that I'm not crazy for missing him or feeling this grief. If anyone wants to PM me to talk, I'm always open. We can talk about loss or grief or sadness or even just death in general, it doesn't matter. I just want to be available for others like others were for me. I cannot stress how thankful I am for everyone who reached out to me and allowed me to reach out to them. Seriously, thank you guys.

Anyway, I tried writing this chapter on and off for the past few months so it might seem jerky and directionless - completely my bad, sorry guys. I've just had a lot going on lately. As in - I graduated from college finally (still have another year left but that's a separate degree haha)! And I got a job! I'm working on a COVID floor in a hospital as a nurse, so... needless to say it's been busy. But it's a good busy! I have to take my licensing exam next week so everyone send your good vibes my way!

Finally, to talk about the chapter's content. Aoko is starting to face her denial. This is stemming from the fact that Kid essentially catfished her, but also didn't, so the whole situation is just a little confusing for both of them. Kaito is Kid but Aoko doesn't know that. Aoko doesn't know who she thinks Kid is, but until she finds out his identity she isn't really considering the fact that Kid has a real identity. And that's... kind of the entire problem. Conan is an outsider looking in, but in basically the same predicament. He's smart enough to understand that's it's not a good relationship dynamic, but he admits he might not be strong enough to deny the selfish part of him. But he is conscious to his deceit, and Aoko is getting more conscious to her denial, and... Kaito/Kid is still sticking his head in the sand. Which isn't really a good thing to do when it comes to relationships, eek.

Hope to see you all around soon! I love writing but it's so hard to find the inspiration. We'll see when the next chapter shows up. Until then... good vibes only!