Sorry for the delay!

I took some liberties with the lore and geography in this chapter, just so you know!

Chapter 19: A Fairy Tail Adventure

For some reason everyone else thinks it's a good idea to not actually enter Onibus, but to picnic by the side of the road leading to the town. I haven't had breakfast yet and apparently the others haven't either.

Happy empties his backpack full of fish, Natsu pulls out an entire ham, while Lucy eats a salad and Gray just an apple. Erza hands me a sandwich and has a smoothie herself. It seems she's thought of everything.

I sit down beside her, but don't start eating yet. There's still so much to discuss.

'Erza,' I manage to say, 'can we...talk?'

She doesn't look at me, but just says: 'later.'

I can't tell what she's feeling. Maybe my nervousness annoys her, maybe she's not ready to have a conversation with me. I'm dreading it as well, but we both know what happens when we don't speak openly with each other.

I try not to sigh, but I can't help it.

Gray and Natsu are butting heads about something, I missed what. Erza coughs softly and that's enough to make them stop. Happy's belly is swollen from his fishes and he has no other choice but to lay on his back and moan.

Just a few days ago, Laxus forced all these people to hurt each other and themselves, but none of that can be seen on the outside. That kind of behaviour confuses me, but I also admire it. To pretend everything's alright, that's literally all I want to do.

I'm used to being the one that observes, and normally people don't notice I'm staring, so it's kind of a shocker when I suddenly lock eyes with Lucy. Her brown eyes are fixated on me and she smiles. It's an encouraging smile, I know that much, but it makes me uncomfortable. I hardly know her.

'Alright,' says Erza then, and I thank the heavens Lucy's attention shifts to her. 'Let's discuss the mission.'

She searches around her travel bag, which is so stuffed it's about eight times her own size. No one has told me what we're doing yet, all I know is that it has to do with you. I have no idea where we're going, so I'm surprised when Erza pulls out a map of not just Fiore, but the entirety of Earthland.

She places a rock in each corner to keep it from moving and points at a place named 'Bosco'. I've heard of it, I know it has borders with Fiore, but it's very closed off. There's no trading agreement, I don't even know if the country is a kingdom, or if it has wizard guilds.

'Bosco is a lawless country,' says Erza, 'which means dark magic roams freely. Gajeel's been there once, and through contacts of his I discovered there's a mountain rumoured to have belonged to the person that forced the magic in you.'

I feel a little panic rise within me at the mention of "dark magic". Before, I avoided those words. I glance at the others, meaning Lucy, Gray, Natsu and Happy, but none of them seem shocked or distraught. They nod, as if this is an ordinary briefing. So I keep my mouth shut.

'None of us has ever been to Bosco before,' Erza continues, 'and Gajeel only crossed through once, but he was able to tell me the entire land is covered in forest. There are no roads, there are no cities. All the people live as nomads and use magic to travel around. There is no government.'

'So it's a wasteland, is what you're saying,' says Gray.

This is bad, I think to myself. This is really, really bad. If dark magic is everywhere in that country, that means it even worse than the Tower of Heaven. I was able to suppress the flames back then, but it took a lot. Even with the golden magic I have now, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my control. Bosco sounds like a freaking candy store for the flames.

My fear turns into slight irritation when I see Natsu's grinning about all this. As if it's just another fun Fairy Tail adventure with his friends. But the one I should really be mad at is Erza. She planned this whole thing.

So I turn to her. 'You…can't be serious.'

She knows me well enough to hear the distress in my voice, but she rolls up the map as if she doesn't. She doesn't even look at me.

'Erza,' I say with a slightly raised voice, 'this is insane.'

She just completely ignores me and if I wasn't getting angry I'd be hurt. I try taking deep breaths again, but then Natsu opens his mouth.

'Riku,' he says with that stupid grin, 'I'm a Dragon Slayer. Whatever monster comes out, I'll be able to beat it!'

I stare at him and feel the last remains of reason leave me. First of all: what the hell does he know? He must've seen some kind of form of the flames take over at the Tower.

Secondly: he's right. Right before Jellal launched his attack at Simon, I wondered myself if Natsu could kill me if I absorbed Jellal's magic. I silently begged him to kill me, basically.

And in my anger right now, during that picnic, my mind gets stuck on that. So what I say next can be seen as the meltdown of a desperate, silly boy.

'Fine!' I tell Natsu. I jump to my feet and the flames rise in my stomach. 'Then promise me you'll kill me if-'

'Riku!' Erza suddenly screams. She stands up, her eyes wild. 'Don't you dare!'

The flames are laughing at me, and I feel them crawling up to my lungs making my chest hurt. I have to get away from here, but I'm being stubborn. 'What do you want me to say, Erza? These flames won't stop until I'm dead!'

'Flames?' says Natsu.

And just think: shit. I spoke too freely.

I don't know for sure if the flames stop once I'm dead. I just needed Erza to understand why her plan is ridiculous. But now that I've mentioned "flames", I'm the one who's ridiculous. I gave away some part of the secret I've kept even before I joined Fairy Tail.

So I just get angry at myself. I turn away from this stupid picnic and go onto the road leading to Onibus. I'm not sure what to do there, I just can't stand the humiliation.

By the time I reach the town, the angry clouds covering my mind have faded. I walk through the cobblestoned streets with my hands deep in my pockets and my head low. My hair falls over my eyes and I don't look at anyone.

Onibus around me is lively. People head for the centre, maybe to the train station or the town hall. It's not a big town and most buildings in the outer districts only have two stories. Onibus doesn't have a wizard guild, so most magical jobs here are done by Fairy Tail. Aside from lighting and vehicles, the people here don't use much magic.

I sit down on some park bench, next to a vendor selling newspapers. I glance once and see the face of Jellal looking back at me from a front page.

'Damnit,' I mumble. I do have a neck for picking the right spots. I don't leave, though. I lean with my elbows on my knees and stare off into nothing.

Even in my frustration back there I knew Erza is just trying to help. The problem, however, is that she only does what she thinks is best and for some reason she thought not telling me crucial information was a good thing. She first had me believing it wasn't all that bad and only told me the real plan after I'd already agreed to go. It's not illegal, but it is shitty.

She took advantage of my trust in her. Not once did she ask me if I wanted this. She packed my bags, had Natsu drag me out here and basically told me to not speak my mind. Well, it might've been childish of me to say "Promise me you'll kill me", but that is the reality of the situation.

I'm so lost in thought I don't notice someone sits down at the other end of the bench until she starts talking. 'Uhm…'

I look up and that startles her. I must look crazy, a frowning mask behind dark hairs. But it's only Lucy.

'Sorry,' she says, 'I didn't mean to scare you.'

I take a deep breath in, accidently take a whole whiff of her terribly sweet perfume, and breathe out. 'No worries.'

Then we both just kind of sit there. We've only met twice before, once in the resort and another time in the Tower of Heaven. I know she's a Celestial Mage, and that she's friends with Erza.

I watch the town continue living on around us. It must be a Monday or something, everyone seems busy and ignores us. It's almost strange to be sitting on a park bench like this.

After a while, I clear my throat, and say: 'You're here to convince me to come back. Right?'

Lucy doesn't act as if I've uncovered her secret mission, which I appreciate. 'That, or I could kidnap you.'

I look her up and down. 'Really? You?'

'I have a Spirit who can trap anyone,' she says, 'so watch out.'

I smile, although it's more out of courtesy. A dark and sarcastic part of me wants to ask her if that Spirit can trap your flames, but I swallow it down at the last second.

'I, uhm,' Lucy says then, 'I'm sorry about Simon.'

That takes me by surprise. I look at the cobblestones in front of me.

'We don't know each other all that well,' she continues, 'but you have my condolences.'

So far, no one has offered me their condolences. And as I'm sitting there I realize I haven't actually taken the time to grieve over Simon. There was guilt and anger instead and that took up all the space in my mind and heart.

It takes a while before I respond to Lucy. Eventually, I just say 'Thank you. I appreciate it.'

She winks. 'You're welcome.'

I don't know how to feel about the wink.

'You know,' she says then, 'we did a job in this town once. Me, Erza, Gray, Happy and Natsu. We performed in a play, because the original cast had quit. I don't remember the story, but I think I was a princess. Erza was a prince, or a knight, and Natsu...well, a dragon.'

Lucy speaks with a genuine love about this job. I don't know how else to put it, but there's a sense of joy that comes over her when she talks.

'And Erza was very into it,' she continues, 'but once she got on stage in front of an audience, she kinda...froze. It was sad, but also kind of hilarious to watch, because she's so scary all the time.'

I lift an eyebrow. 'Scary? Erza? No way.'

Lucy looks stunned. 'You don't think so?'

I kinda shrug and feel the last of my awkwardness fade. Lucy is easy to talk to, which is probably why Erza sent her after me. 'I mean, she's fearless, but I'm not scared of her. Are you?'

'Yes!'

'Tch.' I think of all the times I've seen her fight. 'She's fearless, gracious, just and passionate.'

'I agree,' says Lucy, 'but I'm still scared of her.'

The conversation then dies out. The thought of Erza performing in a play makes me smile. It's odd, just like her love for strawberry cakes. I'm still mad at her, but, well...you know.

And I hear myself say: 'I wish I could've been there.'

'You're not at the guild very often, are you?' Lucy asks. 'Is that also because of the flames?'

I still hate that I spilled the word "flames" earlier, because from now on everyone will refer to them as that, making them even more real than they already are.

'Well,' says Lucy when I don't answer, 'you can be at the guild more often once we've gotten rid of-'

'We can't,' I interrupt and I regret that I sound annoyed, but Lucy doesn't let it stop her.

'We can try, can't we?'

I press my lips down hard and think of how to explain this to her without sounding too pathetic. 'I've always tried to avoid imagining what my life would be like without these flames. I don't want to hope for the day they're gone.'

I know, still a bit whiny, but it's true. The day of the fair and the night of the supermoon were times of hope. I got a taste of what I could be without you, but the same night everything got taken away. I was reminded of your power and I ran.

'But isn't hope a good thing?' Lucy asks, which is such a Fairy Tail mindset. I think hope is an illusion, personally, but I don't want to go all emo on her.

'All I've done until now,' I say slowly, 'is try to be better than these flames. That is how I beat them. Anything else is just impossible.'

'But aren't they magical?'

In this sentence, "magical" is not a synonym for "beautiful", it just literally means they're made of magic. I nod.

'So,' says Lucy, and I can tell by how she talks she's thinking out loud, 'that means anything is possible. Magic is the impossible power after all.'

I look at her and repeat this sentence a couple times in my head. Magic isn't supposed to be possible but it is. The impossible power is possible.

'I'm not sure what I'm trying to say,' Lucy says then with a crooked smile, 'but you get it, don't you?'

'I do.'

'Cool.' She hesitates. 'And I can't speak for the others, but I'll believe you if you say it's too dangerous. I will turn back if you say I should.'

I don't know her well enough, so I'm not sure if she's just trying to be nice. And she doesn't strike me as the kind of person that gives up easily. It's more a matter of respect.

'I mean,' she adds then, 'you've had these flames your whole life, right? You know them best.'

She almost makes me smile. Almost.

'They're unpredictable,' I say, 'that's what I know.'

'Right,' says Lucy, 'so we all just have to be careful.'

So yeah, I eventually gave in. Lucy was a good negotiator.

It turned out I was actually walking in the right direction when I went to Onibus; we had to go through there anyway. Lucy and I met up with Erza and the others in a different part of town, and from there we headed out, going West.

Erza walked in the front, with her giant backpack, Gray, Natsu and Happy followed a few paces behind and Lucy and I were behind them. My outburst from earlier wasn't discussed, everyone acted as if nothing happened, which I both despised and appreciated.

While walking, I asked Lucy to tell me about her Celestial Spirits. I wanted her to take my mind off everything, and I enjoyed listening to her talk about something she liked. I learned all about the Zodiac Spirits, and I heard what happened to Loke, who used to pose as a normal mage and was a member of Fairy Tail for a while. Not that you care, of course, but it turned out he was a Celestial Spirit all along. And not just any Spirit: he was the leader of the Zodiacs.

All in all it sounded very impressive, but after a few hours Lucy suddenly got quiet. She slowed down her pace and her cheerfulness disappeared a little.

I was right next to her, but still Natsu somehow noticed the sudden change first. He turned around with a look of concern. 'You okay, Lucy?'

She nodded. 'Yes, it's just...we're close to my father's house.'

From the look on her face I could tell she didn't have the best relationship with him, so I decided not to ask about it. And from the look on Natsu's face I could tell he knew too.

I hadn't noticed before, but it turned out Lucy, Natsu and Happy had become inseparable friends. Their relationship had me thinking about Lisanna, the girl from Fairy Tail that died on a job a few years earlier. She had been close to Natsu and Happy as well.

My eyes drift to Erza. The night after Lisanna's funeral was the night we reconnected. We realized we needed each other.

I feel silly for earlier and even though she's right in front of me, I miss her.

After about ten minutes I can see for myself what Lucy meant with her father's "house" : at the horizon appeared a mansion which was about six times the size of the new guild hall. It dawned on me later that everything surrounding it, including the mountain behind the building, belonged to the same estate.

Lucy didn't glance at it once.

The last hour of the day we crossed through a forest. For some reason, I felt uneasiness grow within me. "Bosco" is, in some languages, the literal name for "forest". I saw the one we went through now as some prelude to what we'd find in Bosco.

When the sun started to set, Erza announced we'd be setting up camp here.

'The border's only a few miles away,' she adds, 'so we'll be entering the country in the morning.'

I expect we all just roll out our sleeping bags and lay down under the stars, but these mages aren't that lazy. Well, except for Natsu and Happy, who do precisely what I do, but the others all have their own individual methods for sleeping outdoors. Erza brought a tent which pops up as soon as you place it on the ground, and it's the size of a tiny house. Gray uses an Ice Make knife to slice a tree in half and uses the branches to make a hut for himself. Lucy has a tent as well, but she has to assemble all the poles and pegs herself.

I throw my travel bag on the ground next to Natsu and Happy and search for my sleeping bag, thinking Erza probably stuffed it in there somewhere.

'Riku,' I hear her suddenly say, and it's the first thing she's said to me since this morning, 'there's enough room in here.'

I don't have to look up to know she's holding her tiny house tent open for me. Happy is giggling about this. And why wouldn't he? Two people who've known each other for years planning to sleep in the same space: that's hilarious.

Considering the size of the tent, it wouldn't surprise me if there's furniture in there as well. Perhaps a very comfortable, king size bed. And it's childish of me to refuse, but I am still pissed at her. We haven't talked yet.

'I'm good,' I say to her. And for some reason everyone else stops with what they're doing. Lucy drops whatever she's holding and looks at me with big eyes. Happy stops giggling.

Erza, on the other hand, takes this rejection rather well. 'Fine. Suit yourself.' She disappears into her stupidly huge tent.

I ignore the questioning looks Lucy is giving me, because I don't have to answer. I haven't told her shit about myself and Erza.

I turn my bag upside down and then realize Erza hadn't even packed a sleeping bag. I sigh, but don't regret my decision. I've slept with less around me.

After everyone's settled, it's time to make dinner. Natsu and Gray are in charge of the fire (no idea why Natsu would need help with that), while Lucy and Happy slice up some vegetables. Erza is picking out a pan to use, she apparently brought a complete set of kitchen ware.

I have nothing on my hands and instead just watch. Everyone knows what they have to do and it's very clear they've camped out like this a bunch of times. It's strange having nothing to do myself, but I'm not the greatest cook. And most of the time I forget to eat anyway.

On top of that: the whole situation from this morning has given me the idea they all think they're doing me a favor by dragging me along on this adventure. And with that idea in mind I don't feel guilty if they do the cooking.

Erza has finally found the perfect pan, Gray and Natsu are done with the fire. Like I said: I'm not the greatest cook, but I think it won't take long for the food to be ready. I'm sitting beside my bag and think I have a few minutes to relax, but of course I can't have that luxury. Gray and Natsu now have nothing to do and so they walk over to me. Before I can protest, they've each hooked an arm under an armpit of mine. They pull me off the ground and carry me into the woods.

'Uhm,' I say, a bit stunned, 'you guys good?'

'We need to talk,' answers Gray, and I get the urge to say something along the lines of "Yeah, figures", but I don't.

The smells of cooking fade and I hear the rush of a river not far away. We enter a clearing in the forest. Without the trees, I can see the moon is already out. Her light makes the grass look a shade of light blue.

The boys drop me and I land with a thud on my ass. Gray and Natsu look very serious, with their arms crossed and their faces hidden in shadows. If I didn't know them better I'd say they planned to murder me here.

'What's up?' I ask, in my most "one of the boys" tone of voice.

Natsu drops the serious act and instead gives me a grin, the annoying one he always has when it's all about friendship and adventures. 'We wanna know more about the monster.'

'The flames,' adds Gray, as if he's telling me something I don't know.

I knew this was coming. Gray already said something similar back in the Tower of Heaven. Though I didn't expect him to be this direct.

I don't know what to say and the fact that they're standing, their shadows hovering over me, while I'm sitting on the ground, makes this all the more difficult. So I stand up and clear my throat, but I still don't know how to start.

And I've got to say that I surprised myself. I was actually about to spill the beans, all I needed was the words.

Gray sees me struggling, because he says: 'We don't need the entire story. We just wanna know why you asked Natsu to kill you if they come out. The flames, I mean.'

Of course it's about this morning. And I have the genius idea to play it cool.

'Oh that,' I say, 'yeah, forget about that.'

Even Natsu is smart enough to see through that. 'You can't just say stuff like that.'

I sigh. 'Yeah.'

They already know about flames and dark magic. The only word that has been left out all those times, is "dragon". And maybe that's the word I'm most afraid of, because of your reputation. A Dragon Slayer who bathed in the blood of the dragons he murdered, a creature more dragon than slayer. Considering Natsu's dragon father Igneel "disappeared" seven years prior, I wasn't all that excited about breaking the news that I'm your… pupil, successor, prince, I don't know. I'm ashamed to be all of them.

And as I stand there in front of Natsu and Gray, I realize how much I want a normal life. I want to go out on silly jobs where I star in stupid plays and have a laugh about it at the guild afterwards.

'You're right,' I say then, 'I shouldn't. I might've meant it at that moment, but that's not what I truly want. These flames are...just plain evil. And I've tried my best to be the opposite of them. I haven't always succeeded. Simon…'

I can't finish that sentence. Like I said before: I haven't taken the time to grief. It hits me hard. The rest I tell to the shoes Gray and Natsu are wearing, I can't look them in the eyes.

'Things could've been different,' I continue, and my voice is trembling and I hate it, 'and what I'm most afraid of is making mistakes. I'm never sure if what I'm doing is the right thing. Sometimes I do too much, and sometimes not enough. The only thing I know is that once these flames take over, I've failed. Dark magic is what they feed on, so I try to stay away from that. That's why I was so...upset, this morning.'

At the end, my voice is almost a whisper. I'm in disbelief. I actually said how I felt and that's terrifying.

The silence that follows is just agonizing. I don't feel relief, just more stress and I don't know why. Your name wasn't mentioned, nor was the word "dragon". The secret isn't fully out, but it feels like it is. I'm again waiting for people to tell me they hate me. At this point in time, I'm still too stubborn to see that I'm just surrounded by a group of kind people.

Finally, Gray opens his mouth. 'Thanks for telling us. That's all we needed to know.'

Despite my stubbornness, I can breathe more easily now. These two won't question me any further, is what Gray's saying.

'Look,' he adds then, 'I've always kinda suspected something was off with you. And honestly: it was just frustrating to watch. So I'm glad you told me.'

I don't know why, but hearing him say that makes me hate myself even more. I don't get why he's being nice to me. Maybe I should tell him all the horrible things I've done. I don't deserve to be treated like this.

'Yeah,' says Natsu then, 'and I think you're doing the right thing.'

I'm still looking at his feet, but I know he has that idiot grin on his face. Suddenly, he takes a step towards me. I freeze.

He shoves me. Not hard, but it brings me out of balance. I don't know if he did it on purpose, but his hand touched me at the exact spot of my guild mark.

'So don't go saying I have to kill you,' he says, 'it makes Erza sad.'

I pull my eyes away from the ground. The two idiots are grinning as if they've won the lottery and something tells me they now think of me as a friend and that terrifies me.

Then I think of silly jobs, starring in a stupid play, having a laugh at the guild. If I can just push all the negative thoughts out for a second, I can grin along.

It ends up being a slight smile, but I'm getting there.

'I won't,' I tell Natsu. 'Thanks.'

Gray gives me a pat on the shoulder and I find myself not wanting to die when he touches me. 'Let's head back. Dinner's probably ready by now.'

It takes me until after dinner to notice my bag's not where I left it. Since Natsu and Gray didn't do much for dinner, they were now in charge of the dishes. I could hear them bickering as they carried the stuff to the river.

Lucy sat in front of her tent with a book. Erza was in her tiny house tent, I could see her shadow against the canvas.

Happy is about to go after Natsu, but I stop him to ask if he's seen my bag. He giggles behind his paw and points the other one at Erza's tent. Then he disappears between the trees.

I sigh and see Lucy has a smile on her face as well. And it's not because of what she's reading.

I get up, pat the dirt off my pants and calmly walk over to Erza's tent. Though Lucy's not looking at me, I know she's paying attention to what I'm doing. And I hate that I'm kinda blushing.

I clear my throat before I enter the tent, just so Erza knows I'm coming in.

The inside of her tiny house tent looks about how I expected. It's basically a living room, there are even carpets. Erza's sitting at a desk, looking at the map of Earthland. There's a lacrima of light floating beside her, which explains the shadows on the canvas. She doesn't react to me.

'I'm just getting my stuff,' I tell her. Still nothing.

I walk past her and find my bag in the corner beside the bed, which is, as I suspected, kingsize. I can't help but to shake my head over that.

I throw my bag over my shoulder and walk back to the entrance in a fast pace. It's way too awkward in here, but when I pass the desk again I find myself halting.

I look at her red hair. Even though she's right there, I miss her.

I have to say something.

'I, uh…' I stutter. There's still no movement, but I know she's listening. 'I appreciate what you're doing.'

I wait, though I'm not sure for what. It's almost like I wait for the words to dissolve into the space between us.

After that, I step to the entrance, my head bowed and my ears probably red with shame. I push one of the curtains aside and I'm already with one foot back in the grass when she whispers: 'I love you too.'

I freeze for a second, then put the other foot outside too. The tent closes behind me and my face feels hot. I stand there some more, processing what just happened.

From the corner of my eye I notice Lucy has closed her book. She has her legs pulled up and her chin leans on her knees and she's smiling at me.

AN: Little is known about the countries surrounding Fiore and all I could find out about them are texts written by other fans, which aren't canon, so I've taken the freedom to write about Bosco in a way that fits this story.