Chapter 24

A pair of bright green eyes were peeking from a large volume to stare at the odd trio seating across the library. They were the most peculiar combination in the entire castle, the girl was sure of it. Two Gryffindor boys known as the marauders and one Slytherin boy known as dark art fanatic seating together in a library, studying for N.E.W.T. How strange it is. People were whispering about them for months and months and no one really knew what made them stay together.

For months, Lily Evans was avoiding those whispers as they would bring only the reminder of her pain. But now, there isn't a single person in this castle who cares about the trio more than she is.

They seemed to be genuinely studying for the upcoming exam. Lily felt her mouth dry as she could not find about what those boys were hiding from the public. She didn't believe that Sirius Black had gone over to the dark side then, and certainly not now. And she overheard Regulus Black talking about Sev cast away from the dark side. This means that they weren't really up to atrocities. Then, what the hell are they up to?

Frustrated, Lily bit her lower lip.

"Hey," a voice called her.

Lily looked up to find her boyfriend standing next to her seat accompanied by his mate, Peter. Peter Pettigrew bashfully smiled and waved timidly. Lily would have rolled her eyes if she could. James Potter, he was always been such a distraction.

"Hey," said Lily, in an unenthusiastic voice.

James smiled softly, settling down next to her. "Mind if I?", he asked, taking out his books.

Lily shook her head.

James thanked her and pulled out his studies and did Peter. Then, they begun to study very quietly without bothering her. Lily looked at her boyfriend scrawling down some parchment, occasionally checking a book to make certain of his essay. Such a handsome profile he had. Dark hair unruly but not completely helpless, slightly tanned complexion and defined jawline like a carved artwork. All of him were perfect. But her mind was drawing out someone else's face. His was less charming, but his was imprinted in her memory that she just couldn't forget it.

Lily looked up to see the boy she's been trying to forget but never succeeded. He was only a few feet away. Three desks and a shelf were the only obstacles between him and her. But he wouldn't look up and meet her eyes. The boy was surrounded by two prats.

The redhead clenched her fists when she saw Sirius Black reached his hand to wipe an ink smeared in Sav's chin. When it didn't come off clean, the Gryffindor boy leaned forward and used his sleeve. It looked like they were making out there and then, from her angle. Lily snorted. It was ridiculous. It was outrageous.

Sev didn't even frown.

She witnessed a tine of pink in Sev's cheeks when Black returned to his study. Lily felt her body trembling uncontrollably. She felt like laughing out loud, or scream out loud, anything to unload herself. But she was in a library and her boyfriend was sitting next to her. It was only a reflex from the tremendous amount of efforts to retain herself.

"Ha." A sound like a puff of air escaping from her lungs, but neither a laugh nor sigh, came out.

She couldn't help herself when she saw the look on Sirius Black staring down at Sev, studying a volume. Affections were so palpable in his grey eyes.

Lily thought she had gone mad. Otherwise, she couldn't be seeing affection from anyone staring at Severus Snape.

The redhead bolted right up from her seat, hurriedly gathering her stuff.

"Lil-?"

She ignored her boyfriend and left the room. She could not stand the sight anymore.

…...…...…...…...…...…...

Severus sighed heavily, rubbing the side of his belly where baby just kicked, hard. He was now in the third trimester, which meant this baby has grown very strong. It must be bored during classes as he was cooped up inside the castle all day. Sirius has gone for Quidditch practice and Lupin had his full moon thing going on. They urged him to stay inside before they went to their respective businesses. But Severus found it impossible to stay inside when his baby is about to murder him out of boredom.

Thus, he decided it was quite alright for him to take a short walk.

Severus put on his cloak and set out to take a walk through the lakeside. It was all good until he came across a familiar figure coming towards him from few feet away. Regulus Black. Typical. Severus didn't even bother to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

Severus tried to go pass him, but Regulus deliberately stepped in his path.

"Snape." said Regulus.

"Black." Severus returned.

A slight smile in the corner of his lips, Regulus spoke, "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me, Snape."

Severus' only response was a quirked eyebrow.

"May I ask where you are going?"

Severus would have brushed him off, but he did not want to ruin his and his baby's mood for Regulus Black. So, he replied, "I'm going to the lakeside."

Regulus seemed pleased with his answer, as his face lit up. "Can I-"

"No, you can't", Severus cut in.

Severus then walked pass by the younger Slytherin, expecting the boy to stop him. To his surprise, Regulus Black did not stop him in any ways. But just when he thought Black would let him get away this time, Severus found Black following him instead.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked.

"I'm going to the lakeside." Regulus replied.

The elder Slytherin snorted, feeling cheated. He stopped in mid track. So did Regulus. He turned abruptly to the boy and glared, "get away, Black."

"I don't see why I should." Regulus smirked.

Severus frowned, dumbstruck.

Momentarily he thought of going back inside the castle, but the baby won't stay still, and he really wanted to get outside. So, he decided to ignore Black's presence altogether and continued his walk.

The day was fine indeed. Weather was cold but not so much as no wind was blowing and the sky was blue and clear, unusually so in the winter. The field was covered in white blanket of snow. Severus liked the feeling of the snow under his feet, something he hadn't felt before.

He had to admit, he was feeling rather good these days.

Severus tried not to put reasons on his recent change. Instead, he tried to enjoy it. Unknowingly, Severus reached his chin where Sirius wiped an ink smudge. A small smile adorned his thin lips.

He can see the lake was frozen, but not entirely. Severus could almost see the lives swirling inside. Merpeople and giant squids and such. He tried to remember what other creatures might be living there when Black suddenly spoke.

"You seemed better lately."

Severus looked up. Regulus was wearing a look that Severus could not fathom.

"Are you alright, now?"

Severus looked into the light blue eyes for a moment before nodding his head. Regulus smiled, somewhat ruefully. That look reminded him of Sirius when he told Severus of his childhood.

'They are monsters and I was one of them. When I stopped being a monster, I realized there are gaps between my brother and I that cannot be filled.'

Severus all but asked Regulus what was between him and Sirius. But Regulus diverted him.

"So, how's the study going?" Regulus asked.

Severus stared dumbly for a second before saying, "I'm doing good."

"Excellent. I heard N.E.W.T is particularly challenging this year. What subjects are you going to take?"

"Potions, and Herbology and charms…."

"Only those three?"

"No. There's two more."

"Ah. So, you are intending to become a Potioneer?" Regulus asked, tilting his head to side.

Severus nodded.

"I suppose it's fitting, considering your talent in Potions." Regulus said with a small smile in his face.

Severus stayed quiet.

"I thought, perhaps, you could try Defense Against Dark Arts as well. So, you can try out for the Potion Master position at Hogwarts." Regulus suggested.

"You could make a great teacher."

Severus stared at the boy with wide eyes. He was rather surprised at Regulus' praise. It was not only unexpected but also made Severus quite proud to hear. Perhaps the feeling was the remnants of his past eagerness to prove himself as worthy Slytherin among his past 'friends'.

That feeling was like an alert to Severus. Severus looked away from the icy blue eyes. He took in a deep breath and returned his gaze to Regulus.

"I have to go", said Severus.

Regulus only smiled and nodded his head. Severus looked at him warily, then started his journey back to the castle.

What the fuck are you doing?!

He mentally kicked himself. What the fuck did just happened? He did not even understand. Did he just have a walk with Regulus Black? Severus felt ashamed of his own recklessness.

When he reached the castle entrance, Severus was greeted by an anxious Sirius Black skittering around in a dirty Quidditch gear.

"Severus!" Sirius cried.

The Slytherin boy felt even worse. He bit his lip and waited as the other boy approached him hurriedly.

"Where were you? You were supposed to be in-"

"Hello, brother."

Sirius froze at the familiar voice.

Severus turned around to see Regulus Black leaning against the entrance wall. He was smirking for some reasons.

"Regulus?"

"I'm sorry to make you worry, brother. We were just taking a short walk around the lake. He needed some fresh air." Regulus stood up straight as he spoke in a silky voice.

Sirius frowned, clenching his fists. Regulus noticed them and chuckled.

Severus could feel the tension building up as the boy next to him put a protective arm around his waist. Sirius looked down at the boy in his arm then his brother. He opened his mouth to say, but Regulus cut him in.

"I suppose I should get going, now that the nanny has arrived."

With that, he took off.

Sirius and Severus just stood there ghosted.

When the boy was gone, Sirius turned to Severus and gripped his arm forcibly.

"What the fuck were you doing with him?" He demanded.

Severus cringed in half pain and half annoyance. When he tried to protest against his rough manner, Severus thought again and answered.

"Nothing happened. I just ran into him when I went outside. We just talked about N.E.W.T."

"Why would he ask about that?" Sirius retorted; his dislike palpable in his voice.

Severus bit his lip but opened his mouth when the Gryffindor kept on glaring.

"He said he wants to be my friend, now. That he regrets all the things he did to me."

"And you believe that?" Sirius snorted scornfully.

"He told me that You-know-Who's no longer chasing me. That I am now officially outcast from their party." Severus explained.

Sirius was loosened his grip, biting his lip. He heaved a sigh as he bent over, his forehead on Severus' shoulder. Severus flinched at the sudden contact.

"I know you are worried, but I can take care of myself. Nothing happened." Severus repeated, looking down at the dark silky locks.

Sirius slide his arms around Severus.

"Be careful."

He said with a low voice.

…...…...…...…...…...…...…...

Hectic, is the word for describing Sirius Black's current life. Or insanely and ruthlessly frantic could also be great alternative. He was now a seventh year, which means he has a huge exam that has a great impact in his future. Sirius' desire to become an Auror did not make things any easier on that matter. There were so many subjects to study and so many things to remember. Then, there was Quidditch matches. Gryffindor was losing, for the first time ever since he became the seeker. And top of all this, Sirius has a boy who is currently pregnant with his child. Sirius has to take care of the delivery on his own. Well, of course, with a little help. No, a help from a little friend.

This is the reason why he was sitting in a fucking library reading off a gigantic volume to study what the fuck is the difference between one drop of Horklump juice and two drops of Horklump juice.

Gah, he needed Severus for this. He would have asked for help, but the boy was currently resting in his nursery after dinner. Sirius didn't want to wake him up. Severus was so fragile, and the pregnancy was taking a lot from him.

Sirius put his face in his palms, rubbing his temple with index fingers. He decided to put aside the Potion study for the moment and digged out a small book from his bag. It was about delivering a child.

He read the book numerous times, practically absorbed all the information from it. But He can't stop reading it again and again whenever he can. It calmed him somewhat.

February is half passed, and Severus was due in April. This meant that he has very little time until the day comes.

Sirius must be prepared till then.

"Ahem"

Peter cleared his throat to let Sirius notice him. Sirius looked up from the book, hurriedly putting it away.

"Oh, hi." He relaxed when he saw Peter.

"What are you doing here, Wormtail? Where's everybody?" Sirius asked, trying to neutralize his voice so that he don't sound so surprised.

Peter grinned, shaking his head. "They are all gone to somewhere. I thought I might find you here."

"Oh?"

"Can I ask you something, Padfoot?" Peter asked, settling across the desk.

Sirius nodded, looking in query.

"You know-, er, things have changed lately", Peter started, "Urm, you and the…. you know, the boy…." Peter stuttered as if he couldn't even put into words.

"Severus?" Sirius interjected.

Peter nodded his head up and down, rather dramatically.

"Y-yes, yes. Erm- so, you mind if I ask what happened?" Peter asked timidly.

Sirius frowned, not because he was offended by the question but because he was uncertain how to tell the boy. Sirius and Peter have been friends as much as he and James have been friend but somehow, Sirius was quite unsure of this boy. He was unlike them.

"...I told you. I want to make things right and helping Snape out is one of the plans."

So, Sirius decided to tell only a portion of truth. He wouldn't be lying to his friend, but he was telling the safe truth.

Peter's face fell.

Sirius quirked his eyebrow.

For a moment, they sat silently. But when Sirius tried to resume to his study, Peter started to ask questions.

"You and Moony-"

"What about us?" Sirius cut him off, irritated.

"You and Moony are alright now? He's no longer angry?"

"Yes, Wormtail. We are alright." Sirius answered, rolling his eyes.

He looked at his chubby friend with an irritated look, gauging whether he was done or not.

Clearly, the boy was not. "But you are still helping the-, the…."

"Snape, yes, I know."

Peter closed his mouth, cowering at the annoyance in Sirius' voice. But he opened his mouth again, leaning forward. This time, however, Sirius shut him off completely.

"Listen, Wormy, I'm in a middle of study which is very important to me. So─, if you are done, I'd like to get back on my work." Sirius said, with a contrived smile on his face.

He, then, bent over the gigantic volume and started to read. Sirius heard nothing from the boy except the sound chair raking the wooden floor as Peter got up. Sirius didn't even bother to say goodbye.

It was nearly curfew when Sirius got up from his seat. He stretched his arms out, yawning. Then, the Gryffindor boy started to pack his things along with his volume. He dug his hand through his bag to find his pregnancy book so he can read them on his way back to dorm.

Sirius frowned when he found nothing. He searched one more time, but it was in vain. He frantically turned his bag over the desk and shook the contents out. His quills and a bottle of ink, parchments and other schoolbooks came out and sprawled around the desk, making loud noise, but no pregnancy book.

"What-"

"What do you think you are doing, boy?! The library is closing! Get your things off of the desk, immediately!"

It was Madame Pince, screeching like a cat at the sight of unruly desk. Sirius jolted in surprise, and quickly gathered his things in his bag.

But his mind was on his lost book.

…...…...…...…...…...…...….….

"Do you have the list?"

"Yeah, I've got it on my pocket."

"Right."

"This way, Severus."

Sirius led the Slytherin boy towards the end of narrow street, into the entrance of a building. It was Hogsmeade Weekend and they were up for shopping to buy things for the delivery.

Severus presumed he'll only require sheets of blankets and towels, but Sirius' horrified face when he told his plan of birth had changed his mind. Of course, Sirius bought the majority of the required items. However, Sirius wanted to make sure they had absolutely everything they need.

When Severus entered the shop, he felt immediately stupid. The place was full of fluffy plush and tiny clothing and, and, women. Of course, there'd be women. Why would there be a couple of boys shopping for baby's stuff? How could he be so brave as to walk into a baby shop with Sirius Black?

A red tinge quickly rose all around Severus' face when he noticed his own stupidity. Severus peeped at Sirius, who was currently checking his list for items to purchase, completely unfazed at their situation. Encouraged by his indifference, Severus breathed deeply through his nose to calm his nerves.

Then, he started to pick up things for the baby with scrutinizing look.

It was a relief that there weren't any associates trying to help them shop. He couldn't bare it if there were people asking questions.

The shopping took some time as Sirius tried to examine everything thoroughly. Severus gotten a little bored as they've been circling the place for the third time. He already made up his mind to buy the neutral colored blanket, but it seemed Sirius Black was expecting a girl.

"Just buy the grey one. You don't know if it's a girl or a boy." Severus said.

But Sirius wasn't listening. He chewed on lower lip, glaring at two pieces of fabrics. Severus rolled his eyes. Suddenly, something caught his eyes. It was a large plush for baby to lean onto, shaped in a white seal. Severus returned to Sirius battling in his mind between the pink or the blue. But he found himself walking up to the stand where the baby seal was displayed, picking up the white plush to examine. It was quite big, about the size of Severus' torso. The plush felt soft under his palm.

"Do you want to buy that?"

Severus jumped a little, surprised by the sudden question from Sirius.

"It's cute", said Sirius.

Sirius eyed the plush for a second, then put it into their basket. Severus opened his mouth to say he doesn't have to buy the plush but closed without saying it. He felt a bit guilty at using Sirius' money, though.

Sirius sighed, holding up the light grey blanket in his hand along with the pink and the blue.

"I think we would soon find ourselves very much appreciating extra blankets", was the excuse he gave to Severus when he stared questioningly.

The two finally got out of the baby shop after three hours of shopping. Their bags were shrunk and laid inside their pockets.

"So, what do you want to eat?" Sirius asked.

"Hmm?"

"We should eat. We've been out for almost three hours", said Sirius.

Severus stared Sirius, without a word, but clearly wanting to say something. Sirius by now knew that he must initiate to start the conversation flowing.

"What's wrong?"

Severus spoke uncertainly, "I don't really know what's in here."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to ask, but closed, catching what was left unsaid. That little redhead bitch.

He faked a smile, trying to neutralize his voice. "Good, then I can make the decision. There's a place I know, which makes the best pies. Better than Rosemerta."

Severus looked up at the grinning Gryffindor, his black eyes widened a little.

"Just don't tell Madame Rosemerta I said that", said Sirius with a wicked smile.

Severus chuckled, following the taller boy leading the way.

"Two pumpkin pies, please."

"Right away, sweet pea", said the woman in a high pitch tone.

The waitress left their table after taking their order on her note. Watching her leave, Severus cocked his head slightly.

At Severus' curious look, Sirius added, "she's like that to everyone."

Severus nodded.

"But foods are great, really." Sirius grinned proudly.

The Slytherin boy chuckled, taking a look around. The place was rather small but not quite stuffing as he thought would be. The walls were painted in bright cream color and the furniture, though worn with time, was clean and sturdy. It was quite cozy.

"So, do you think we've got everything we need?" Sirius asked, eyeing Severus.

Severus turned his head, nodding, "I suppose so. We've covered all we wrote in our list."

"Perhaps we should buy more quilts, and-"

"You've already bought four quilts and six blankets and three bibs and a plush. I think we won't be needing any more until later."

"Have I?" Sirius asked, his grey eyes widened in surprise.

At those feigned innocents, Severus made a face.

"Yes, you have. Honestly, you should start watching where you use your money." Severus added in a stern voice.

Sirius countered indignantly, "It's my money, and I'm using it for my baby."

Severus lost words, bewildered. "Your baby?" he whispered.

Sirius covered his mouth, realizing what he just said. He was surprised by his own word. His face getting pale with anxiety, Sirius tried to undo what he just did, "what I meant was─", but trailed off as he searched for Severus' face. Severus was quiet, his head bowed slightly, which made it hard for Sirius' to read his expression.

When Sirius felt like he'd done something, Severus looked up and said, "you are right, but it doesn't make it any less true that you should be careful about your money. After all, you are the one whom I have to rely on for raising this child."

Sirius stared at the dark eyes meeting his own with no reprimand but concern. He felt something warm in his stomach which spread through his body. He gulped down the lump in his throat and smirked,

"I think you are underestimating my financial capacity, Severus."

Severus frowned in scolding manner.

Sirius laughed.

"Here it is, sweethearts, two delicious pumpkin pies made specially for you!" The waitress came back with a loud voice announcing her arrival, carrying a tray of pies.

"Thanks" said Sirius.

The waitress beamed, "Oh, anything for you hon."

Severus took a bite as she left and was impressed with the pie. Sirius smirked in knowing smile, which made Severus scowl again.

"It's good, isn't it?" Sirius asked.

Severus nodded but said nothing.

"I used to come here with James. And Remus and Peter, too, of course." Sirius explained as he, too, starting to eat. "Madame Rosemead's awesome but we've caused too many troubles there, so she won't let us even make a sound. Which is why we diverted to here, whenever we wanted to make a plan for our-"

"Crime?" Severus suggested.

Sirius scowled, "prank was the word I was going to use."

Severus snickered, "did you plan all those things you've done to me in this very place?"

Sirius paled, "Well, that's- no, I mean yes but-" and stuttered as he was baffled by his question.

Severus quirked an eyebrow, "but what?"

Sirius opened his mouth but then, closed it again without saying anything. He murmured, "I'm sorry" after a moment of silence.

Severus snorted.

The two began to eat in silence afterwards before it was broken by the clanking noise when Sirius dropped the fork down.

"I'm sorry."

Severus looked up from his plate, which was nearly empty.

Sirius was staring at him with a very serious look on his face, grave even. Severus was overthrown by the sudden change in his feature and cocked his head to side.

Sirius, on the other hand, felt like this is the time where he must cut clean with his past. He's been stalling his apology all this time and for what he did not know. But somehow, he cannot go on without telling Severus of his own regrets.

Sirius have done so many wrong-doings and he has been ignoring them. Now, after spending time with Severus, he could no longer pretend that rape is the only thing he must feel guilty for. Severus was, by all means, not a nice guy, nor a good guy. But he was alright. Severus wasn't just a scum as he used to think. He was smart, brilliant in his potion work, completely devoted to his child, and strong, even after what had been thrown at him.

Sirius felt that all along but somehow, he pushed the thought away, making excuses like priority-first bull shit.

"I am sorry for everything I've ever done to you."

Brows furrowed; Severus stared at his grey eyes without words. Sirius could have continued on with his excuses, but he decided that wouldn't do.

"I was an idiot, no, I am an idiot. I didn't think what I did was wrong." Sirius clenched his hands, "I thought all Slytherins were like those people I saw at the party."

A frown in Severus' forehead deepened as he listened to what Sirius was blabbering.

"And I see that now, I was the monster between you and me. What I think was right thing to do was exactly the way 'they' would do. I tried to escape 'them', but you've proven I have not."

Severus compressed his lips, as he was struggling to find words. He didn't know how to react at this sudden confession. Perhaps he was fooling him, but the time he spent with the Gryffindor told him that Sirius was being utmost sincere in his words.

"I promise you that I will never harm you in any ways. Not because of the baby, but because of what I know now." Sirius declared. "That I was wrong about you."

They stared at each other before, eventually, Severus gave a nod and returned to his pie. A silent forgiveness bestowed on Sirius. The Gryffindor felt the weight on his shoulders being lifted.

….

The pie was great, as Sirius said. Severus and Sirius left the pub with full stomach and rejuvenated spirits. It was only when they saw a familiar couple few feet away that their good mood was shaken. Lily and James were strolling leisurely together on a sparsely crowded road. The couple looked quite content with themselves, smiles lighting up their already handsome faces.

Severus' brows furrowed slightly as he took into the sight of the couple. He bit his lip, unknowingly. A sharp pang was felt in his heart, which left a dull ache. Severus dropped his gaze, to avoid them. He'd laugh at himself for clinging to a girl who never wanted him, but all came out was a sigh.

Sirius scrunched up his face as he witnessed the change in Severus when he saw the two together. He rolled his eyes, cursing inwardly at the stupid redhead. With an uncontrollable impulse forcing him, Sirius pulled Severus closer and dragged him towards the other end of the road. He felt a little relieved when the smaller boy followed him without resist.

Sirius took in deep breath through his nose and exhale, repeating several times to calm his edged nerves.

Fucking Lily Evans. Ruining everything for him.