She bled. Way too much. Haruhi never bothered to ask how the herbs were supposed to work, what was the correct way to use them and in which amount. She just took them. She became ill and had to keep in bed for days, bleeding with fever, anemia and an unbearable stomach pain. Poor Kurozawa-sensei had to take care of her even at his old age and he scolded her for her recklessness. That was a stupid thing to do and she should have seen a doctor before she tried anything on her own. Haruhi listened to the old man but she was too weak to banter. At some point, she even thought she was going to die.
« How is it that out of all the decisions you could take, you had to take the worst ?! » she heard him grumble, way too often.
These were familiar words. Taking the worst decision was kind of a trademark behavior for her and someone else always had to take her out of the situations that resulted from her choices. Every decisions she ever took caused grief or bothered the ones she loved...
Accompanying her father to rescue Chizuru ? She fell ill and they lost days and nearly got captured.
Attacking Kazama Chikage ? If her father hadn't reacted as quickly as he had, she would be dead.
Stealing the Ochimizu to Sannan ? Everyone went looking for a traitor in the Shinsengumi and even her father had been suspected.
Giving the Ochimizu to Souji ? It didn't even cure him and instead, he craved blood and suffered until he died.
Following Souji to rescue Kondou ? They failed, Souji died, and she was unable to get back to Edo and got imprisoned in Komine until her father got her out.
Fighting in the war ? She wasn't strong enough and she probably would have died there if they didn't give her secured positions.
Leaving her family ? She ran out of money and had to live in a place with mice and work in a teashop where she nearly got raped and eventually killed a man.
Bringing back Souji from the dead ? He chose Tama.
And now, she killed her child and nearly followed it in the afterlife, bringing anguish to the only person who was giving a damn about her in this village. No, really, as far as she could remember, she never had been anything else than a bother.
After days stuck in bed, she eventually managed to stand again and help around, making it up to Kurozawa-sensei for looking after her for so long. Time passed and September was nearly at their door. September already... One month until Souji's marriage... Four months until his possible death...
« Fujita » she heard as she was cleaning the kitchen « you've got a visitor. »
« Who's that ? » she asked, putting her sleeves down.
Kurozawa-sensei took her by the shoulders and took her to the half-closed window. There in the alley stood Souji. Haruhi's heart skipped a beat. Souji did come...
« He's been there for a while. » whispered Kurozawa-sensei « seems like he's not gonna make us acknowledge his presence. »
« What does he want ? » asked Haruhi.
« I guess you'll have to ask him yourself. » he chuckled.
« No way. » she shrugged « If he wants to talk, he announces himself. »
« Seems like you both are chocking on your pride. » he commented « Going to see what he wants isn't submission. »
« I still won't go. » she shook her head.
« Alright. » he said, closing the window in full « then I won't bother you any longer. »
He left her side to get back to work and she stayed a while eyes locked on the wood panel. She slid it again to see if Souji was still there and he hadn't move.
Dammit... but I did say to Tama that if he wanted to talk, he could come here...
She swallowed back her pride and looked around her. She quickly soaked some sheets in a bucket and took them outside as an excuse under the old man's amused gaze.
« Haru-chan... »
How she missed his voice... even if it had only been two weeks. She feigned surprise and held her basket close.
« Souji... » she said, trying not to let emotions leak from her voice « what are you doing here ? »
« I came to talk to you. » he smiled faintly.
« I see... » she said, still unfazed even if her heart was aching « Can it wait two seconds ? I'm supposed to hang this. »
She heard a small chuckle behind the closed door and could decipher that Kurozawa-sensei was listening behind. That old toad could mock her all he liked, she wasn't gonna loose against Souji.
« Sure » he shrugged, taking the basket of her hands « I'll help you. »
« I don't need neither help nor pity. » she hissed, snatching back the basket.
Okay... So long for the emotionless mask then... She wasn't really efficient at hiding her feelings. She turned and hung the sheets to dry them with that small wind of end of summer. When she was finished, she turned back to Souji.
« What do you want ? » she asked, her voice as sharp as a blade.
« I want you to come back to the Shieikan. » he said with a small smile.
« Are you still marrying Tama ? »
« I am... » he sighed.
« Then I'm not coming back. » she stated.
« I'm not asking you to come back to me. » he said, avoiding her eyes « I only want you to come back to the Shieikan. »
« Why would I do that ? »
« Because you're talented, hard working and I need an instructor. »
« I'm not interested. »
« You're lying. » he smiled faintly.
« Think what you want. » she hissed.
« Haruhi... » he sighed, passing his hand in the locks of his hair. How she wished she could run her fingers in it in his place... « I'm... not very good at dealing with rejection. »
« That's your problem. » she shook her head, resolved « not mine. And you're the one rejecting me ! »
« I'm not. » he frowned.
« You're marrying Tama ! » she yelled « how is that not rejection ?! »
« I don't have much choice... » he muttered « it's what Kondou wanted. »
« What ?! » she widened her eyes « I'm pretty sure Kondou wouldn't have made marriage arrangements for Tama when she was so young ! »
« Tsune told me that Kondou never adopted me because he was planning for me to marry Tama. » he said, avoiding her gaze again « I'm only doing Kondou's will. »
« Souji... » she sighed « has it occured to you that Tsune might be lying ? »
« Why would she ? » he lifted an eyebrow « she's an honorable woman. »
« Because she wants to marry Tama to someone who could take care of her. » she gritted her teeth « If Kondou-san really had these kind of intentions, why has he never talked to you about it ? And to Tama ? »
« I don't think Tsune is a liar. » he pouted « and I will do Kondou's will. Are you taking the job I'm offering you ? »
« No. » she replied coldly.
« Haruhi... »
There was a darkness in Souji's eyes, a lingering anger that could become dangerous if unleashed. She always saw it behind his eyes but never experienced to be the target of his wrath and she had no desire to be. It was a murderous gaze, dangerous and frightening and she wondered if Souji could actually hurt her because he was upset.
« I don't want you to go. » he said with a fire burning from within his eyes.
« I don't care what you want. » she stated.
Souji unsheathed his sword with an unreadable expression and Haruhi stepped back. She wasn't armed.
« Souji... » she whispered, putting her hand in defense even if they wouldn't stand a chance in front of his sword « calm down. »
« Come with me. » he ordered.
« I'm not gonna come only because you threaten me ! » she yelled.
« You are. » he nodded « you can follow me or I can take you but you're coming. »
« Souji, you're insane... » she whispered.
« That's your fault. » he stated, still with that darkness in his eyes « because you reject me... Like my sister... like Kondou-san when he left me behind... like Hijikata who didn't even come and visit when I was ill... like all my dead comrades... You all reject me at some point. »
« Souji, you're twisting it in your head ! » she said « you're the one marrying another woman ! »
« You said you'd stay by my side. » he stated « And I intend for you to keep that promise. »
« Souji... »
He got closer with that somber aura that was frozing Haruhi in place and she quickly got out the kaiken of her obi but he disarmed her with as much ease as before. His hand grabbed the collar of her yukata and he took her in his arms, his blade still threatening.
« Souji, let me go. » she ordered.
« Okita-san » said Kurozawa-sensei, sliding the shoji « I think the girl has been pretty clear. »
Souji's gaze aimed at the old man and he tightened his grip on his katana.
« Souji, don't ! » yelled Haruhi « let me go ! »
« I'm never, ever, letting you go again. » he whispered in her ear.
He lifted her up on his shoulder and she bounced her fists on his back but in vain. She eventually calmed down, not to draw attention in the village. He carried her all the way back to the Shieikan where he locked her up in a room. She was now a prisoner.