A/N 1: for anyone still working, NSFW content near the end. Enjoy!

Carmilla couldn't help but smile as she checked and packed her supplies into her backpack; Laura had asked her yesterday, Christmas Day, if she was happy. She had answered 'yes' but it wasn't that simple. Or, more accurately, the timing of the question wasn't the best. It was after a big Christmas dinner with all the fixings and the two were trying to clear their heads enough to walk back to the main cabin from her parents' place. Between the food and wine, she was sorely tempted to take her mother up on the offer to spend the night, but it was also her first Christmas with Laura and she wanted to spend the night alone with her.

Because yes, it was her best Christmas ever. The last few years, celebrating with the boys, had been good but the truth of the matter was that she wouldn't have made the effort were it not for them. But this year? She wasn't the one making the effort, her parents were. Something she never would have imagined a year ago. Her parents, let alone all her half-siblings? Sure, she enjoyed the holidays with her chosen family, it was always the lack of family that had made the season bittersweet. Having a family again made it the best Christmas ever. Having Laura at her side made it the happiest.

"Hey," Laura greeted as she entered behind her, "they're talking about starting a bonfire…" Carmilla turned. "What are you up to?

"I thought I'd take you to meet a little friend of mine," she replied vaguely as she finished packing her bag and closed it. She turned and gave Laura a once over. "You might want to change your boots."

"My boots?" Laura looked down at them and back up. "Why?"

"Cause they're fine for around here but we'll be going off-trail for a bit."

"Off… what?"

Carmilla walked over, took her face in her hands, and touched their foreheads together.

"Trust me?"

"You know I do." Laura leaned back and searched her eyes. "Is this an excuse to get away from everyone?"

"What if it is?"

"I just wish you'd say something before finding an excuse to sneak off." She shrugged and went to change her boots. "I understand, you know, that you can only spend so much time around too many people. Honestly, I don't know how you managed in the house."

"Have you not been watching the show?" she countered as she slipped on her winter jacket. "I'd hardly say I was coping." She zipped her jacket. "Sometimes I wonder if that's why Diedre let it happen."

"Let what happen?"

"Nancy," she replied simply and waited to see if Laura would catch up.

"I don't…"

"Even without what happened with Will and Danny I was already starting to lose it, I don't know if I'd have made it through without you."

"So," Laura chuckled and stood, "you think she let Nancy almost blow me up so I could be there for you?"

"Would Dana have let me talk, and even see you, as much if it hadn't happened?" she countered.

"You might have a point," conceded Laura. "But I think, even without Nancy, if I'd have been in Vegas, he would have let us talk."

"What makes you say that?"

"You're the star of the show," Laura replied simply. "He couldn't have you breaking down,"

"Maybe," she accepted quietly. "Hardly seems fair to the rest of the fighters."

"When has your life ever been fair?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You got dealt the shittiest of hands." Laura took her hand. "Maybe, every so often, you deserve to be dealt a winning one?" She smiled. "Or, at least, an ace up the sleeve?" She raised an eyebrow. "Gonna tell me where we're going?"

"Nope."

"Carm…" she whined.

"I thought you liked my surprises?" she asked as she shouldered her backpack.

"Usually," she teased.

"Usually?"

"Okay, always," she soothed with a blush.

"Can we go?"

"Fine," she relented and took her hand. "You'd better have hot chocolate in that bag."

"With a generous dose of Bailey's," she confirmed.

They made their way outside, waved goodbye to their friends, and then headed into the trees behind the fighter camp. They wandered for a few minutes before Carmilla got her bearings and pointed them in the same direction as the main cabin but towards the perimeter fence, the path the found shortly after, but it was covered in a few feet of snow.

"It's so quiet," whispered Laura.

"I know," she agreed. "I used to find it unnerving when I first started coming up here again. Living downtown, even at the estate, there was always some noise. But out here?" She sighed. "All you can hear, aside from the birds, is your heartbeat, breathing, and thoughts."

"And…" Laura gasped as a twig snapped somewhere behind them, "whatever the hell that is!"

"Hush, you'll scare her away."

"Scare who away?"

"You'll see," she smiled and pulled her along, "we're almost there."

They walked a few minutes more until they reached a small clearing. She walked to the far side of it and flipped a switch mounted on a tree near the edge.

"What the…?"

"Just wait." A square large enough for two people melted in the snow to reveal a wooden platform. "Just because I'm hiking into the middle of the woods doesn't mean I don't want to be comfortable while we wait for my friend." She slipped off her backpack, opened it, took the blanket from the top, and spread it over the platform. "Go on, sit," she took a bag of raw liver from her backpack, walked a few feet from the platform and dropped it to the ground. "She won't come out until we're sitting and quiet. She walked back over to the platform, took out the hot chocolate and handed it and two mugs to Laura. "Give that a shake first?" Laura nodded. "Sandwich?"

"Please." Laura smiled. "I always get so hungry when we're up here."

"It's the mountain air," she reasoned as she sat beside her. "The altitude means doing even the simplest things is a little more taxing."

"Which means you're burning more calories," added Laura. "Makes sense." She traded Carmilla a cup of hot chocolate for a sandwich. "Still not going to tell me who we're waiting for?"

"That reminds me," she deflected as she took the second bag of meat from her backpack along with a medium-sized box.

"Carm…"

"Just eat your sandwich, she's close."

They sat quietly eating their sandwiches for about ten minutes when they heard another twig break near the edge of the clearing.

"C'mon Lil' Shit!" called Carmilla. "C'mon baby, it's just me."

"Lil' Shit?"

Carmilla motioned to the far side of the clearing where a large Bobcat was slinking from the underbrush, it stopped, sniffed the air and then made for the raw liver.

"Good girl," Carmilla praised as the big cat finished the meat in a few bites. "Come here, baby," she patted her lap, "C'mon…" she prodded. The Bobcat eyed her a moment before slowly walking over to smell her outstretched hand and then leaned it to and started purring before climbing into her lap and rolling to her back. "Laura," she smiled as she rubbed the cat's belly, "meet Lil' Shit."

"Lil' Shit?" She took a closer look. "Is she asleep?"

"Yeah, a sedative in the liver," she supplied as she reached for the box, opened it and showed Laura it's contents. "I found her the first winter I came back up here. She was, maybe, a year old, as far as the vet could tell," she explained as she took an artificial paw from the box. "She was missing a foot when I found her, don't know how she lost it." She chuckled as she put the paw on the cat's back right leg. "Or rather, she found me at the cabin. She was hungry and I was cooking steak on the barbeque."

"Of course you were," teased Laura.

"Anyway," chuckled Carmilla as she checked the fit of the new paw and then went back to petting her, "she came right up on the patio looking for food so I fed her, called my uncle and we took her to a local vet." She sighed. "She can get around well enough to feed herself, for the most part, but not well enough to outrun any big predators."

"For the most part?"

"She keeps the rabbit population in check but my uncle lays out food for her at least once a week in the winter when food is a little more scarce." She smiled. "I told Laf about her and they made her the new foot as well as a nanite prototype so we can better monitor her. The sedative should wear off soon."

"So, the name?"

"She's a little shit," she replied as the cat began to stir. "Last summer, for example, she left a little 'gift' for me outside the cabin door. Which I stepped on. In bare feet."

"Aw, she was just trying to feed you," cooed Laura as she reached her hand out to the sleepy cat.

"Okay," she accepted. "But she also likes to stalk and tackle me," she added. "After the first few times she did it and I called her a little shit, I realized she thought it was her name." She pushed the Bobcat off her lap. "C'mon Lil' Shit, let's give the new paw a try." She picked up the second bag of meat, this time cubed venison and took a piece out for the Bobcat to sniff before tossing it a few feet away. Lil' Shit lept after it, ate it in one bite, and then noticed her new paw, sat, and then held the shiny new paw up for a sniff. "What do you think, Kitten?" she cooed as she knelt beside her and scratched behind her ears. She took another piece of meat, got her attention, and then used it to lure her into a walk. The cat followed her for a few steps and then sat back on her haunches and launched herself at Carmilla who stepped to the side and then tossed her the meat once she'd righted herself.

"I guess it works," she said to Laura as she emptied the rest of the meat on the ground. "Go on, Lil' Shit, have at it." She chuckled as the big cat swallowed the rest of the meat in a few bites. "There's a remote on the foot," she explained as she began collecting their things "if the nanites signal she's in trouble, it will release automatically and signal my uncle."

"So, you told Laf about her but not me?" asked Laura, her tone unreadable.

"Not intentionally." She shook her head, walked over to Laura, and took her hand. "They were telling me about a new project and I asked if there was any way they could help." She shrugged. "I wanted to surprise you, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," sighed Laura. "I guess…" she shook her head.

"You're jealous?" guessed Carmilla.

"No." She ran her hands through her hair. "It's just, when I asked you yesterday if you were okay, I don't feel like you were being honest with me."

"That's probably because I wasn't being honest," Carmilla admitted and Laura's face fell as she looked down. "I couldn't well say in front of my newfound family that you're the reason this is the best Christmas I've ever had." Laura looked up and accepted her kiss. "Now could I?"

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she assured her. "Before now Christmas was always just another way for Deanna to torture me." She took Laura's hand and started walking, Lil' Shit trailing behind them. "If it weren't for you being there yesterday…"

"It would have only reminded of all the years you didn't have it?" finished Laura.

"Exactly," she replied as she halted their progress, the shouts of their friends closer than she expected. She turned and knelt, Lil' Shit trotted up and nuzzled into her chest. "I'll come and see you again before I leave," she cooed as she pet her, the cat's purring almost drowning her out. She took the cat's head in her hands and touched their foreheads together before kissing the top of it. "Go on, you big goof!" she urged as she pushed her away and stood. "Go on!"

Lil' Shit rubbed against their legs before running off.

"I love seeing you like this," confided Laura.

"Like what?"

"Vulnerable," Carmilla frowned. "I get it, that's why you didn't tell me." She pulled them to a stop. "You've spent most of your life feeling vulnerable because guess what? You were." Laura stroked her cheek. "Your guard was built out of necessity." She smiled and shrugged. "It's not just difficult to let it down after having up for so long, feeling vulnerable, even by choice, can't help but remind you of when you didn't have a choice and that's scary." She smiled. "Thanks for trusting me."

"And thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me feel safe enough to be myself." She kissed her softly. "And, you know, literally making me safe."

"Well thank you for…" Laura was cut short as she was knocked forward into Carmilla's arms.

"What the frilly hell?" hissed Carmilla as she helped Laura back to her feet. "You okay?"

Laura nodded as Carmilla noticed a large patch of snow on the back of Laura's jacket and looked for its source.

"Yo! Midget!" Dark shouted as he casually tossed a snowball in his hand. "Come and get it!" he taunted.

"You get five!" she yelled back.

"Five what?" he asked.

"As in, count of…" she replied.

"Before we come to get you!" added Laura.

They could see he wasn't taking their offer of a head start seriously so started counting aloud; "Five!" they yelled to which he laughed. "Four!" They both picked up snow and started forming balls of their own. "Three!" Dark finally ran off.

"Sorry, what were you going to say?" she asked Laura as they made their way to their cabin to drop off Carmilla's bag.

"It's not important," dismissed Laura. "Let's get that brat!"

Dark hadn't gone far and was clearly taunting them.

"We go straight after him and then about halfway I'll veer off and come up behind him, okay?" suggested Carmilla.

"Sounds good."

They both started at a jog and then picked up speed when he noticed them, Carmilla veering off to the left when he finally turned his back to them. Even though Laura's leg was fully healed, she was still the taller of the two and therefore just a little faster. Add in the fact that she was more accustomed to running in snow than either of them and she easily found herself about ten behind Dark by the time Laura caught up to him. She held a finger to her lips to signal to Laura to not warn him of her presence and started sneaking up behind him.

"Where's Carm?!" he called to Laura.

"Don't know," she replied.

Carmilla crept up behind him, not quite sure what she was going to do once she reached him. It all depended on when he noticed her if he did at all. She wasn't paying attention to what he and Laura were saying but she was doing a good job and keeping him distracted as she got right up behind him and knocked his knees out from under him. By the time he realized what had happened, it was too late and she had already tackled him to the ground and started tickling him.

"Say uncle!" she taunted him.

"Get off!"

"Not until you say uncle!" she repeated and shoved a handful of snow down the front of his coat.

"Uncle! Uncle!" he cried. She took another handful of snow and dumped it on his face. "Hey! I said uncle!" he protested.

"That was for ruining a moment," she informed him as she got back to her feet and then offered him a hand up. "Poo head."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"You couldn't have known," she relented. "That's why I let you off easy."

She didn't hear his reply as she was hit in the side of the head with a snowball.

"Who the…" she turned and found a grinning Laura. "You're going to pay for that Creampuff!" she growled and tore after her until Laura finally stopped to catch her breath.

They stared at each other, the screams and laughter of her friends and teammates off in the distance, each of them tossing a snowball in one hand while they waited for the other to make the first move. Finally, they threw them within seconds of each other, Carmilla's hitting Laura in the stomach while Laura's went wild.

"You missed!" Carmilla taunted.

"Meant to!" laughed Laura as snow from a branch above Carmilla dumped all over her.

"Oh. You. Little…" Carmilla growled as she sprinted after a giggling Laura. If Carmilla had any doubt that Laura's leg was completely healed, it was gone as she chased Laura from the cabins to the lake and finally to the end of the dock. "Well, well, well…"

"Truce!" Laura pleaded.

"Says the brat who just soaked me!" she accused as she scooped up handfuls of snow and formed a fresh snowball. "The same brat who has nowhere to go," she added as she launched her snowball at Laura's head, knocking her hat off.

"My hat!" cried Laura, who turned and hopped down from the dock to the icy lake below.

Carmilla's emotions ran a gambit as they went from amusement to terror as Laura lept off the dock to the ice, then to relief and amusement as she stood and began to dance and sing; "I got my hat back! I got my hat back!". Her amusement, however, returned to terror as Laura quickly disappeared from view when the ice beneath her gave way.

"Laura!" she yelled, taking her jacket off and tossing it aside before diving in after her. She struggled to keep her mind clear as the icy water washed over her. Her only thought, her only goal; get Laura and get out of the water. She chanced opening her eyes against the chill, found Laura and kicked with everything she had left to get them both back to the hole in the ice. Just as her legs were about to give out she felt a pair of strong hands pull them both from the water and back to the dock.

"Carm! She's not breathing!"

"Fuck!" she hissed as she dashed to Laura's side. "Fuck!" she spat again as she looked for Laura's pulse but couldn't find it. She tore Laura's jacket open and started chest compressions, counting as she went but it wasn't needed, a few pumps in Laura coughed her way back to life. "You've," she kissed Laura's forehead, "got to," she kissed one check, "stop," she kissed the other and met her eyes, "dying on me!" she kissed her cold lips until Laura responded.

"I'll try," Laura replied weakly and passed out again.

"Is she…" Danny gasped.

"She passed out," Carmilla answered to everyone's relief. "C'mon, we need to get her warmed up." She looked at Dark as he helped her up. "Can you call Jan?" She took her coat from Kirsch but put it over Laura. "She needs it more than me."

"Fair enough," he replied, took his own coat off and handed it to Carmilla. "You need it more than me."

"Fine," she chuckled as she slipped it on and looked back to Dark. "Ask Jan to come by and check on Laura tomorrow?" He nodded. She looked back at Kirsch. "Carry her to the cabin for me? I'm exhausted."

"You okay?" Danny asked as they watched Kirsch pick up Laura carefully and then followed him back towards shore.

"Just cold."

"That isn't what I meant."

"I know." She leaned into Danny's side as the redhead put her arm around her shoulders. "I thought…"

"You thought, with Deanna gone, she was safe?" Carmilla nodded, unable to speak because of the lump in her throat. "This was just an accident…"

"I know," she sniffed.

"She's going to be okay," Danny assured her.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, the cold of the lake coupled with the terror of almost losing Laura, again, had drained her of any energy she'd had. She followed Danny and Kirsch into the cabin she and Laura were staying in.

"Danny?" She waited as Danny stopped what she was doing, covering Laura in blankets, and turned to her. "Stay? Give me a hand?"

"Um, sure." She finished with Laura's blankets and turned back to her. "What do you need?"

"I think we'll sleep near the fire, can you move the other mattress over here and then we can move the other after I get Laura out of her wet clothes?" She asked as she grabbed her robe on the way over to her, shivering now that she no longer had Kirsch's jacket to keep her warm. "Better get out of my own wet clothes first, hmm?"

Carmilla quickly undressed as Danny carried the other mattress over to the fire and slipped into her robe by the time she had returned. Together they moved Laura to the mattress by the fire, Danny going to get the other one while Carmilla took off Laura's wet clothes and tucked her back under the blankets.

"I'm going to take a shower, warm up a bit," she said. "Keep her company? Maybe build the fire back up?"

"Sure," Danny smiled, "whatever you need."

"Thanks, Xena." She went to the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and returned to wrap Laura's hair in it. She studied Laura a moment and then checked her pulse and breathing; both were near normal. "I think maybe her blood sugar just bottomed out from the shock," she said, more to herself than to Danny. "I'll be right back."

Carmilla went back to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and took off her robe while she waited for it to warm up. She stepped under the water as the room filled with steam, the tension slowing leaching from her muscles as she started to cry.

"God freaking dammit," she sighed as she rubbed her face and then ran her hands through her hair. It was the day after Christmas, she wasn't supposed to almost lose the love of her life. Again. She took a deep and shaky breath, hung her head, and let the tears fall. There was no use fighting them, she reasoned. She was far too relieved that Laura was okay, to even try. She didn't know what she'd do if she lost her.

She shook her head and shut off the water; "Not going to happen," she told herself. She knew she'd always protect her, even if she also knew that wasn't always going to be possible. But it wasn't just that. Carmilla knew they would always protect each other.

"Something smells good," Carmilla commented as she rejoined Danny and found her by the stove.

"You said something about low blood sugar?" Danny replied. "I know you sometimes have trouble with that, so even if Laura doesn't want it right now, it'd probably do you some good."

"That's very thoughtful, Danny, thank you."

Danny turned and regarded her.

"What?" prodded Carmilla.

"You used my name," she pointed out.

"And?"

"You almost never use my name."

"Well, I'm sincerely grateful that you're here." She smiled. "There's a lot of things I'd have never dreamt possible a year ago." She went and put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Having you in my life? Being your friend?" She squeezed her shoulder. "Probably one of the most unlikeliest." She studied her a moment and then asked; "You okay?"

"Not really," she admitted. "I did watch two people I care about almost die today."

"Hardly," Carmilla chuckled dismissively. "The lake never gets that cold because of the hot springs at the other end."

"But we were skating on it yesterday," Laura commented sleepily.

"You're awake," noted Carmilla happily.

"What happened?" asked Laura.

"You fell through the ice," provided Danny.

"I know that," said Laura as she struggled to sit up. "But we were skating…"

"On a section of the lake that we wall off in the winter so it can freeze," she explained as she helped Laura sit up. "Sweatshirt?" Laura didn't answer but pulled the blankets around her instead. "Might be easier to eat?"

"What are we having?" asked Laura.

"Soup," supplied Danny. "There was a big container of it in the fridge."

"Then, yes, a sweatshirt please…"

Laura trailed off a knock sounded at the door followed by Jan poking her head in.

"Jan?"

"Your friend called, I thought I'd stop and check on you on the way home," she explained as she entered and put her medical bag on the table.

"It could have waited until morning," Carmilla assured her. "We were only in the water for a few minutes."

"I was checking in on your uncle and his mother." She frowned. "I thought you knew I was here since you're heating up the soup I dropped off while you were out."

"Can I ask you something?" asked Carmilla.

"Mind if I examine your girlfriend while you do?"

"Of course." Carmilla smiled. "Thank you."

"How are you feeling?" Jan asked Laura as she checked her blood pressure.

"A little stiff and tired."

"Blood pressure is a little low, but that's to be expected. Let's check your temperature." She gave Laura a thermometer and turned to Carmilla.

"You spent a lot of time with Deanna, maybe more than anyone," she raised an eyebrow, "how did you not suspect she was two people?"

"Many people act differently depending on who they're around or the situation they're in," Jan deflected as she checked the thermometer. "Still a little low, but the soup should help."

"How do you, or did you, explain her beating me within an inch of my life and then having you save it?" Carmilla pressed.

"The only proof of abuse I had was what you saw," she answered quietly and then held up a hand as she listened to Laura's heart and lungs. "Your pulse is a little high but your lungs are clear." She smiled. "You'll be fine. Take it easy for a couple of days…" Laura frowned. "I know you have a fight coming up, but pushing yourself too hard after near hypothermia could be detrimental to your overall health." Laura crossed her arms over her chest. "I'll check on you tomorrow evening," she offered, "if I like what I see, you can go back to training the day after, okay?" Laura nodded. Jan stood with her bag and walked over to Carmilla. "Your turn."

"I'm fine," protested Carmilla.

"You went in the water too?" Carmilla nodded. "Then I'll check you too."

"But…"

"Your mother will never let me never let me hear the end of it if I don't check you over too."

"Fine," she conceded and pushed up the sleeve of her robe for Jan to put on the blood pressure cuff. "So, you never suspected?"

"I admit," she sighed, "something about her speedy recovery never sat quite right."

"How so?" asked Laura.

"I was there, the night Carmilla ran away." She shook her and gave Carmilla the thermometer. "She begged me to let her die, that alone should have tipped me off." She grew quiet. "I got her to the clinic, stabilized her, made sure she was in good hands and then got the hell out of Vancouver before she realized who I was. When I found out she'd been transferred to the hospital, I assumed the doctors I left her with had determined it was in her best interest."

"You saved Deidre's life and the ambulance I sent took Lilita to the hospital," Carmilla surmised as Jan checked her heart and lungs. "So, am I going to live?" she joked.

"You'll be fine," Jan assured her. "But take it easy until I check on you."

"You know," started Carmilla as Jan packed her things, "I was thinking," she glanced at Laura, "we could use a team doctor, maybe for the month leading up to a fight?"

"I thought you already have a team doctor?"

"Who? Doctor Coughlin?" Jan nodded. "He's an amazing orthopedic surgeon, probably the best in the country, but my aim is to not need him again anytime soon."

"Yes, cause the injuries he's been helping you recover from were fighting or even training related," Danny pointed out.

"True." Carmilla frowned as she realized Danny had seen Doctor Coughlin due to the injuries she'd sustained from their fight. "But we need an overall doctor." She walked over as Jan zipped up her jacket. "Consider it?"

"I have to help your mother open the bakery," Jan replied thoughtfully. "Once it's up and running though, there won't be much for me to do." Jan pulled her into a quick hug. "You're coming to the opening, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she promised.

"Good." Jan smiled. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Thanks, Jan."

"I, uh, I should be going too," stammered Danny as the door closed.

"Nonsense," differed Carmilla, "there's more than enough for soup for three, stay for a bit?"

"Are you sure?"

"I am," Carmilla replied, glanced at Laura, looked back at her and added; "we are."

"Danny?" Laura waited to get her attention. "Are you okay?" Danny shrugged. "I saw you talking to Steph earlier," she prodded.

Danny sighed but didn't respond as she portioned out their soup.

"You can talk to us," pressed Carmilla as she crawled under the covers next to Laura and accepted a bowl of soup from Danny. "There's fresh bread too."

"Butter?" asked Danny.

"Please." Carmilla smiled. "Thank you."

Danny got them and herself some bread, buttered it, passed it out, took a seat at the table and sighed again.

"You sure you're okay talking about this?" Danny asked. "I mean, she is your little sister."

"Half-sister," qualified Carmilla. "And besides, I've known you longer."

"So?"

"So," she smiled, "I care about you more."

"Oh," Danny blushed and looked down at her soup.

"Danny?" Carmilla waited for her to look up. "I want you to be happy." She shrugged. "If it happens to be with my little sister, so be it."

"Yeah?" Carmilla nodded. "She's leaving." She sighed deeply. "She wants me to go with her?"

"When?" asked Laura.

"Where?" Carmilla asked at the same time.

"After the finale and traveling, nowhere specific."

"You're not sure you want to go?" guessed Carmilla.

"It's not just that," Danny admitted. "I feel like I'm finally getting my life back together and I was looking forward to focusing on my training until I go I back to school next fall…"

"I'm not seeing a problem," Carmilla commented. "All that will still be here when/if you decide to come back."

"So what would you do?" questioned Danny.

"If I were you?" Danny nodded. Carmilla considered a moment before answering. "I'd go, but give it a trial period. Say, no more than three months. Enough time to sort out how you feel and whether you want to continue but not so long that you couldn't still do everything else you want to do, like going back to school next fall." Danny contemplated her suggestion. "All the shit you've been through the last couple of years, don't you deserve a break?"

"She's said she's going, with or without me," Danny confided sadly.

"She has more reasons to leave than you have to stay," Carmilla reasoned. "She probably wants a fresh start but she doesn't know where that's going to be yet." Carmilla smiled. "You never know, it could end up being here." She tried her soup. "I think, what you need to ask yourself is; would you be happier traveling with her or staying here without her?"

"That is the question, isn't it?" pondered Danny. "I don't know," she sighed.

"You've got some time to think about it," Laura pointed out. "I don't think you should dismiss it though, you might regret it if you do." She looked at Carmilla. "Is that what you'd do? Leave?"

"Who? Me?" Carmilla shook her head. "No way. I have fought too hard and sacrificed too much to make Vancouver safe, to give it up now. And Danny asked what I'd do if I were her, not me."

"True," accepted Laura.

"I don't know if it makes any difference," she looked at Laura as she continued, "but I think our offer, the one we made when we got home?" Laura nodded and blushed. "It would still be here when you come back." She smiled. "And if you're still not interested, we'll always be your friends."

"I was never not, um, not interested," Danny admitted with a blush. "But even if it was good for a while, I have a hard time thinking we could ever go back to what we are now if we did."

"You don't know that," Carmilla differed. "Done with that?" she asked Laura, indicating her empty bowl.

"Yes, thank you," Laura replied and handed her the bowl. "You know what I think Danny?"

"Go for it Hollis," encouraged Danny.

"Carm's right."

"I am?"

"I missed out on a lot in the last ten years," admitted Laura. "While I don't regret any of it, I do plan on taking the next few years making up for lost time." She regarded Danny. "Do you really want to wait for your life to be perfect to start living it? 'Cause, news flash, there might not be a better time."

"So, carpe diem?" Danny joked. "I've got a lot to think about," she sighed as she stood and went to put her bowl in the sink. "Thanks for listening, I'll let you guys get some rest."

"You've got to do what's best for you, Xena." Carmilla added their bowls to Danny's in the sink and then walked over to her. "Either way," she gave her hug, "we're here if you need us."

"Thought you were planning on traveling too?"

"True," Carmilla conceded. "But we're just a phone call away."

"Thanks for that." She broke the hug. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Carmilla locked the door behind her and then crawled back under the covers next Laura.

"Your mother's bakery opening?" asked Laura.

"New Year's day, Whistler," provided Carmilla. "I thought we could celebrate New Year's Eve in Whistler, go to the opening the next day and head home after." She chuckled. "She's calling it 'Rainbow Confections'. So," she took her hand, "sound like a plan?" Laura nodded. "You, uh, you feel like you missed out on your childhood?" She looked down. "Because of me?"

"I had a great childhood," Laura corrected. "And it wasn't about you…"

"It was about your mother," Carmilla finished. "Who died because…"

"We fought back. Hey," Laura cooed, "it wasn't your fault." Carmilla met her eyes. "I choose to pursue the career I did so I could get justice for my mother. I choose to work my ass off to get me right here." She smiled. "With you and our whole future ahead of us." She squeezed her hand. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Nothing?" Laura shook her head. "No scars you'd rather not have?"

"It comes with the territory." Laura shrugged. "But that's all over now." she kissed her cheek. "The only scars I'm in danger of getting now are in the cage."

"How are you feeling?"

"Strange segue," Laura chuckled. "A little stiff, but okay."

"Maybe a shower before we crash?"

Laura took the towel from her hair.

"My hair is almost dry."

"How about a massage then?"

"You sure you're up for that?"

"I'm fine."

"You did go for a swim in an icy lake too," Laura pointed out. "Thank you, by the way, for coming after me."

"Always." She kissed Laura's cheek. "I took a shower while you were asleep, so I'm okay." She shrugged. "We can sit in the hot spring tomorrow, that'll help." She smiled. "So, massage?"

"Don't have to ask me twice."

Laura shrugged off her sweatshirt and then stretched out on her stomach.

"I'm just going to see if I have any oil or lotion." She kissed her shoulder. "Be right back."

Carmilla went to the bathroom and checked her toiletry bag, sighed and grabbed her body lotion. She returned, drew the blanket down Laura's back, squeezed some lotion into her hands and started Laura's massage at her back and elicited a low moan from her.

She thought back to the first massage she gave Laura and how much had changed since then. Thanks to Carmilla's leather vet, she's avoided any new scars on her back. It didn't change the fact that, aside from the old surgery scar on her knee, all the scars she had now she'd gotten since they met. All of them because she was protecting her or because she'd been targeted because of her.

Carmilla moved from her back and worked on each of her arms, both with new scars of their own. At least the scar on her bicep looked cool as part of her phoenix tattoo. She covered her upper body with the blanket and moved it from her legs, added more lotion to her hands and started working on her legs.

"Oh, god, that's good," sighed Laura.

"I thought you'd fallen asleep," she chuckled.

"I'm enjoying this too much to fall asleep."

"How's your leg feeling?" she asked as she went to work on it.

"It's good," she sighed and rolled to her back.

Carmilla pulled the blanket back over her legs and wiped the last of the lotion off her hands onto it, stripped off her robe and got under the covers with her and snuggled up to her.

"Better?"

"Much." She kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

"Yeah?" she asked as she ran a hand across Laura's stomach towards her breast. "How much better?"

"Hmmm…" Laura stalled her hand and pushed Carmilla to her back. "I think I have just enough energy to show my own personal heroine," she kissed her neck, "a little," she kissed along her jaw, "gratitude."

"Gratitude, hmm?" She tangled a hand in Laura's hair, kissed her and reversed their positions. "What if I'd rather you use the little energy you have left to let me show you how grateful I am that you're okay?" She covered Laura's body with her own, took Laura's hands, and held them over her head. "Unless," she kissed her, "you want me to stop?"

"No." Laura sighed as Carmilla kissed her neck. "But I'm afraid I won't have the energy to, um, 'return the favor', when you're done."

"I'm okay with that."

"Yeah?"

"You'll make it up to me," she suggested as she kissed down her neck.

"Deal," she sighed as Carmilla took a nipple between her lips.

It didn't matter how many times they made love, every time was as special as their first. Every moan, gasp, and sigh thrilled her. She loved every inch of her. She continued her worship as she kissed her way down Laura's stomach, her right hand proceeding her to Laura's hip and then between her legs. She chuckled as Laura spread her legs for her and tangled a hand in her hair, entering her with a finger as her mouth caught up to her hand, and Laura's grip on her hair tightened.

"Oh… Carm…" she sighed.

Carmilla reached her free hand up to Laura's breast and played with its nipple until Laura laced her fingers with hers. She kept her fingers inside her as she kissed her way back up her body and pulled her into a kiss. She could feel her getting close and pulled away so she could watch her face as she orgasmed.

"You're," she kissed her, "so," she kissed her again, "fucking," she took her hand from between Laura's legs, "beautiful," she stroked her cheek, "when you come." She kissed her softly. "I love you, Laura."

"I love you too, Carm."

"Don't ever scare me like that again?"

"I'll try."

"I won't lose you. Not now. Not after everything we've been through," she said, her voice cracking.

"Hey, hey, hey," Laura cooed as she rolled her to her back and then gently wiped away her tears. "I'm okay." She took Carmilla's hand and put it over her heart. "See? Heartbeat and everything." She kissed her softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she kissed her again.

"No more unnecessary risks?"

"To be fair, I didn't know I was taking a risk," she pointed out but added when Carmilla frowned; "But no, no more unnecessary risks. I'm retired, remember?"

"I do." She pulled Laura to her shoulder. "Let's sleep, yes?" Laura settled into her side. "You need your rest after all."

"Yes, dear."

"Well," she prompted Laura to look at her, "you did promise to make it up to me."

"I did," Laura agreed and kissed her. "I just wish I had the energy to do everything I want to do to you right now." She settled back into her side. "I will make it up to you, promise."

"I'll hold you to that," she said and kissed her forehead.

"You'd better."

"Oh, I will."

The perfect day she'd had planned had taken a hard detour. She sighed; would she ever learn that her plans never seemed to work out the way she thought they would?

"You okay?" asked Laura.

"Just thinking how, whenever I try to plan a special day, it never seems to work out." She kissed her forehead. "I guess it doesn't matter so long as you're with me at the end of the day."

"At the end of every day," affirmed Laura. "For as long as you'll have me."

"How does forever sound?"

"Not nearly long enough."

"Good answer," she chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Maybe perfect days don't exist," she said quietly, "but perfect moments, moments like this one, do." She smiled. "Maybe that's all any of us can hope for; imperfect days filled with perfect moments." She pulled her close. "Oddly enough, I'm okay with that too." Laura kissed her cheek. "So long as you're the one I'm sharing them with."

A/N 2: This chapter, or part of it anyway, is a long-overdue Christmas present for my girlfriend. (Sorry it took so long, babe). Which is part of the reason you're all getting this chapter so soon. The bigger part is this; I've been thinking about the end of the story since I started writing it almost five years ago. Five years. Wow. When I started this I never imagined that five years, three books, and a little more than half a million words later, that I'd still be writing this. Honestly, it was never supposed to be this long or involved. I thought, fifteen, maybe twenty, chapters and then I'd go back to my other story. Nope. I couldn't write two vastly different stories at the same time either.

But here we are Creampuffs and the end is quickly approaching. I won't say how many chapters are left, mostly because I don't know how long the rest of the story will take me to tell. Like many of you, I'm also sad this story is coming to an end, which is why I'm so determined to get that end just right. As for what comes next? There will be a short epilogue chapter and maybe a 'five years later' one-shot sometime down the road. I've also been planning to turn this into an original story, so watch out for that. The benefit of writing an AU is that, aside from a handful of quotes and their names, I'm thinking it shouldn't be too difficult to make it its own story.

Last, but not least, I'll miss you all when this comes to an end. You don't know how many times a review has made a truly shitty day better. Given the current state of the world and a girlfriend who is more than 4700 miles away, (and we have no idea when we'll see each other again), there are more bad days than good nowadays, so if you enjoyed this chapter and this story, I'd really appreciate the feedback.

Until next time… thanks all, stay safe and take care.