hello hello hello!

it's been a while ! oops, i've been rlly demotivated for some reason, but hopefully that'll come to a end. anyways, shameless self promo, posted a short one-shot about goldpaw, rustpaw, duckspark, rushstorm and beebounce being overly dramatic on the fic called 'collection'. it takes place after this chapter, but before the next one.

review replies:

dragonbreathjr: younglings. and thank you! i love them.

mintflight0245: awww tysm! i was really pleased with the dialogue in that one, so i'm glad it came across well.

somestormleaf: think that's a pretty good summary of this fic in general tbh. and thank u! rosestar is a cool character to write, and u know i adore writing about my boys :)

"I… I think I need to talk to Duckspark. And Beebounce." Rustpaw mumbled, so quietly that he barely registered the words as his own. Goldpaw looked up, his amber eyes wide.

He stepped slightly closer to Rustpaw, and Rustpaw blinked at him, willing him to speak. "You… you do? What are you going to say?" Goldpaw asked, and Rustpaw shrugged. Truthfully, he didn't know. He knew he wanted to apologise to Beebounce. He'd been an awful apprentice, and an even worse cousin. And to Duckspark… he just wanted to talk to her. Try and work out why she hadn't been there for him as a mother.

"I don't know yet." He confessed, and Goldpaw nodded slowly.

His friend sighed, and flicked him in the side with his tail. "Do you want me to be there?" He asked, and Rustpaw shook his head.

"No." He said bluntly, and Goldpaw looked hurt, flinching. He quickly corrected himself. "It's for me to do. But… thank you."

"S'what friends are for." Goldpaw said, looking at his paws. Rustpaw nodded in agreement. He was a good friend, he thought. He'd stuck with Rustpaw when he was being possessed, for Starclan's sake. If that wasn't a good friend, Rustpaw didn't know what was.

Still, he didn't want to say that. He smirked, and cocked his head to the side. "Now, what have I said about the 'F' word?" He questioned. Goldpaw grinned at him.

"You're too stubborn for your own good." Goldpaw told him, batting him in the shoulder with a flick of his tail. Rustpaw just smirked, agreeing with his friend.

Timeskip

"Uh… Beebounce? Can I talk to you?" Rustpaw asked hesitantly, lingering in the entrance of the warrior's den. Beebounce and Rushstorm were the only occupants, still half-asleep, slouched in the corner. Beebounce had practically disappeared under Rushstorm's thick fur, who was glaring at Rustpaw, clearly not happy to be interrupted.

Beebounce, thankfully, didn't seem too irritated. "What's up, Rustpaw?" He asked kindly, propping himself up with one paw.

"I just need to talk to you." Rustpaw repeated. Beebounce huffed, and disentangled himself from Rushstorm, who made a quiet sound of protest.

"You've reached your cuddle allowance for the day." Beebounce told Rushstorm solemnly, flicking his tail to point to the outside of the den. "Go and… go and do deputy stuff."

Rushstorm purred, amused, and left the den, brushing his tail against Beebounce's side as he did. Beebounce stared after him, his eyes round, and soft, and Rustpaw felt like he was almost intruding on something.

Beebounce shook his head quickly, as though he was clearing something out of his head, and turned back to Rustpaw. "What's up?" He asked, his mew slightly clipped.

Rustpaw shuffled his paws on the ground. How would he start this? "I...I… I wanted to tell you why I didn't show up to our training session the other day." He decided on starting with. Beebounce's eyes narrowed.

"You appeared back with Goldpaw, completely beaten up, and shaking. I assumed you'd finally had enough of him, but the murder plot had failed." Beebounce said, presumably joking. Rustpaw shook his head.

"N-not quite." He admitted.

"So what happened?" Beebounce asked.

"Brambleswipe." Rustpaw said, and Beebounce's grey eyes widened. "She… she possessed me. Tried to get me to kill Goldpaw." He barely managed to get that confession out without feeling a wave of shame ride over him. He'd almost killed his only friend. He'd almost killed Goldpaw, the kindest, most caring cat in the entire clan. The clan may sing Beebounce's praises in terms of compassion, but Rustpaw knew better.

Beebounce was kind. He couldn't deny that. But behind Beebounce's sweet exterior, was a terrified cat, who had watched his sister die in front of him. Somewhere deep down, Rustpaw felt like there was something waiting to snap. He wouldn't always be so kind. He'd been through so much, he was bound to have a down day occasionally.

Goldpaw? Well, Goldpaw powered through those down-days. He just kept smiling, and kept encouraging Rustpaw. Honestly, sometimes, he didn't know what he'd do without Goldpaw.

(In a totally platonic way, obviously.)

Beebounce just stared at him. "You worked it out then." He murmured.

Rustpaw chuckled wryly. "That Brambleswipe was literally evil? Yeah, eventually."

"Was?" Asked Beebounce. Rustpaw blanched at that. He didn't know what Brambleswipe was, where she was, or if she even had any influence over his life anymore.

"I...I don't know." Rustpaw said truthfully. "Goldpaw said that he saw her like… leave my body? But… she's still out there. I think." He told him, his tail flicking.

Beebounce frowned, and looked away. "I thought it was too much to hope for." He muttered, and Rustpaw swallowed.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. "Not just for that. For… the blackmailing, and everything."

"I'm not going to say I was overjoyed about the blackmailing." Beebounce said slowly. "But… but it did bring me something I've wanted for a long time." He sighed. "You're still young, Rustpaw. You're learning things."

Rustpaw nodded eagerly, hardly believing his ears. Beebounce… Beebounce wasn't mad at him? Why?

Because he always believed in you. He always knew you'd snap out of it.

"Thank you." He said sincerely. Beebounce just twitched his ears in acknowledgement.

"Have you spoken to Duckspark yet?" His mentor asked, tilting his head. Rustpaw slowly shook his head. He wanted to, but he didn't know how he'd start a conversation like that. It wasn't that he wanted an apology - he kind of understood why she'd distanced herself from him. It was in the code, afterall. She was allowed a mate - most of the medicine cats had one (he was fairly certain that Mintcloud, the Thunderclan medicine cat, and the one from Shadowclan, Lionmoon, were together) but she had to avoid her kits. He didn't think that the code asked her to do that to the extent she had, but he guessed there was more to it.

"I-I'm about to." He said.

Beebounce sighed. "Good." He mewed approvingly. "She cares for you, you know? Even if she has a weird way of showing it." He murmured, and Rustpaw looked up.

"Why does she show it like that?" He asked, sounding like a kit.

"That's for her to tell you." Beebounce said, flicking him in the side with his tail, nudging him towards the entrance to the den. "Go and talk to her. I've taken away snuggles from my mate for long enough." He mewed, and Rustpaw cringed.

He left the den, and noticed Rushstorm hanging around the entrance of the den, looking from side to side.

"Have you been there the whole time?" He questioned. Rushstorm smiled sheepishly, and nodded.

Rustpaw wordlessly stepped out of the way, and let Rushstorm through. The older grey tom headed straight to Beebounce, excitedly telling him something about Fishclaw and Frogtoe.

Rustpaw sighed, and padded across the clearing to the medicine cat's den. It wasn't like this was unusual for him, indeed, he spent most of his free time in it with Goldpaw. But usually… usually he'd just ignore his mother. Pretend she wasn't there.

He wasn't going to do that. Not today.

"Duckspark?" He asked, standing awkwardly in the entrance. "Can I come in?"

His mother looked up, her grey eyes gleaming in the dull light. "Of course." She murmured. Usually, Rustpaw would just barge in, and head straight for Goldpaw, so it was unusual that he was even asking.

Goldpaw blinked at him, and walked straight past him, touching his tail-tip to Rustpaw's skinny shoulder as he did. Rustpaw shivered, and ducked his head. The encouragement warmed him, but at the same time, set him on edge. Gave him a weird feeling in his stomach.

"I-I'd like to talk to you." He stuttered out, and Duckspark nodded, shifting out of the way to let him sit beside her.

"What's up, dear?" She said, and Rustpaw broke.

"Why?" He hissed, his voice trembling. "Why- I- how can you call me that when you just… you just haven't been here! You haven't been here, and you think you can sling that around like it's nothing?"

Duckspark just stared at him. "Slow down." She murmured, and the reassurance didn't work.

"I won't slow down." Rustpaw growled. "You dumped us on Bearear as soon as we could open our eyes." He spat, dark blue eyes blazing with anger. He'd thrown away Goldpaw's advice, and then some. So much for just wanting to talk.

"It was the rules." Duckspark whispered. "I did what I had to."

"No." Rustpaw snapped, shaking his head. "You could have at least talked to us, like you talked to Beebounce. You treated him like he was your son."

"I did it so I didn't go through what happened to Rosestar." Duckspark said quietly. "I… I thought cutting myself off, away from you… I thought it wouldn't hurt so much if anything happened. I thought I wouldn't be the mother she was."

Rustpaw blinked at her. "But… but Brambleswipe was dead."

Duckspark smiled wryly. "As dead as she is now? You and my apprentice aren't as subtle as you think you are." She sighed. "Look… Rustpaw, I'm sorry." Her grey eyes were wide, and Rustpaw felt almost sorry for her. Almost.

He'd forgiven her a while ago, if he was being honest. And Goldpaw's little stories about her… he'd begun to realise that she wasn't the cat that Brambleswipe had always painted her out to be. But he'd still been abandoned by his mother. And that wound stung deep.

"S'okay." He muttered. Duckspark shook her head vigorously.

"It's not." She said. "You and Petalpaw both have every right to be upset." She looked up. "How is Petalpaw, anyway?"

Rustpaw just shrugged. Petalpaw… well, he didn't know what was going on with Petalpaw. She was a dedicated apprentice, no doubt about that. But she'd been padding after Frostpaw more and more now, despite his insistence that he wasn't interested.(In both toms and she-cats, Goldpaw had told Rustpaw. He just didn't care for romance.)(Rustpaw still didn't know where he stood on that front. If he'd ever want a mate, and if he did, who he'd end up with.) Petalpaw had also become significantly more chatty, talking the ears off anyone who'd listen to her. Once Swallowfoot's litter became apprentices - which would be any day now - Rustpaw felt like he might as well just sleep in him and Goldpaw's plotting den. He could probably convince the golden tabby tom to stay with him, if he tried hard enough.

"Not great then?" Duckspark guessed, and Rustpaw nodded, leaving it at that. "Let her know what I said. Or tell her to come and speak to me."

"I will." Rustpaw promised, and shifted closer to his mother. He hesitantly leaned into her, and the much bigger she-cat wrapped her tail around him. She grinned, and Rustpaw smiled softly. He felt like he'd achieved something from that little conversation.

ayyy i have no idea what this is but it's almost 2k and it's what my chapter plan from three months ago told me to write. anyways, hope you enjoyed. this fic is very almost over which is rather upsetting, if y'all could start sending in some questions for me to answer in the last chapter that'll be great! they can be about anything, like me as an author, the characters, ect ect. also! two days ago was rushstorm's creation day, so happy birthday 2 my boy. beebounce's creation day is in two days, back then he was called streamstripe which is just,,, ew. anyways! hope u enjoyed, and i'll see you guys soonish. updates (or what's left of them) will slow down as i'm back to school soon, but i'll try to keep powering through.