Author's Notes: Whew! Finally done! Hope y'all enjoyed!

TW's: None

Ch23 Originally Posted on AO3 09/09/2020

One and a half years ago, Major Francis Monogram assigned Perry a new nemesis. Despite his protests, the Major insisted, claiming that he'd "still have time to go on other missions and see his family."

One and a half years ago, Perry the Platypus listened, peeved, as Major Monogram lied through his teeth.

Perry grumbles as he scribbles his way through another report. Time to go on other missions? See his family? Bah. He's barely done either in the past month- and he lives with his family! His nemesis is seriously more trouble than he's worth.

And he's not even good at evil science. Today's yodel-inator was perhaps the most stupid invention in the history of evil science. Perry was able to thwart it with a party blower, that's how stupid it was.

Perhaps that's only the second most stupid invention. The first place invention has to have been the Dance-inator. One good shot and he was dancing uncontrollably. And with his nemesis, no less. What a mess that day was.

But he still couldn't shake the indescribable feeling of giddiness that came when he got hit with the ray and pulled Heinz into a quick-step, nor the fact that the feeling lingered for far too long to be considered anything friendly.

Even in his lair, filling out today's paperwork, he can't stop the flush of color that rises into his cheeks at the memory, or the indescribable giddy rush of butterflies in his stomach.

Why does he even feel this way? He's only ever felt like this, nervous in the best way possible, a few times before. When he's had feelings for someone. (Not like that ever ends well.)

And there's no way he has feelings for his nemesis. That would be entirely unprofessional. Perry prides himself on his ability to separate his work from his feelings.

Yes, there's no way he has feelings for Doctor Doofenshmirtz. No matter how handsome he is, no matter how much Perry likes to spend time with hi-

Oh.

Oh no.

The pen falls out of his grip as his hand stills. It can't be. This can't possibly happen to him. He's Agent P, OWCA's best US operative. He can't possibly have fallen for an evil scientist, especially not the most incompetent evil scientist in the entire Tri-State Area.

As a general rule, agents do not fall for evil scientists. It's practically in the handbook of Being A Secret Agent. One does not simply pull a Genghis Khan, no matter how much one wants to have an elaborate dance sequence with a cute villain.

(He stalwartly ignores the part of him that wants to call his nemesis cute.)

And yet, there's a part of him that likes the way his heart beats just a bit faster when his nemesis is around...

Slowly, the green light clears. Perry blinks the spots away from his vision, fighting the urge to look up. Not yet.

For a few excruciating seconds, nothing happens.

Then there's a few coughs, and…

"Perry?"

He snaps his head up.

There, standing in the middle of the lab, is Heinz Doofenshmirtz, holding half of the portal gun in one hand.

His lab coat is singed a bit around the bottom hem, but his body seems unharmed. He's also holding a toothbrush, which he chucks aside along with the portal gun half, causing a loud crashing noise and a cat to yowl.

He laughs at Perry's startled expression. "Don't worry, that's just my cat-and-crash-noise-inator."

Perry shakes his head, grinning. He doesn't care what made the noise (although it's a relief to know that no actual animals were harmed). All he cares about is the fact that Heinz is safe. He's standing right there, a silly grin on his face, completely undamaged.

He's back. He's really, actually, back, and he's safe and he's right here. Perry takes one step towards Heinz, then another and another until he's running and crashing into Heinz and hugging him so close he gasps for breath.

Heinz pulls back just a little bit, a hint of a giddy smile on his face. "You did it," he whispers. "You actually did it."

Perry nods. He can't quite believe it either, but they're back in their dimension, together . (And the universe didn't implode, which is always a plus.)

"How did you do it?"

Perry points back towards the cobbled-together dimensional -inator. It self-destructed, but I was able to rebuild it.

"You-you rebuilt an entire -inator to bring me back." Heinz pauses, frowning. "Why?"

To answer that (rather ridiculous) question, Perry merely rises up and kisses Heinz solidly. Hopefully that can clear things up without a need for words or sign.

Heinz reciprocates in kind for a brief moment before he pulls back, shaking his head.

"You brought me back so you could get an answer for me kissing you?" Good lord, how is Heinz this dense?

Before Perry can clear anything up, he sighs. "I knew I shouldn't have done that. There's no excuse. I shouldn't have made you practically bring me back from the dead to get answers."

Perry just stares. Is this for real?

"I'm sorry," Heinz says, staring at the ground.

Perry raises an eyebrow. Why?

"Because you like somebody else, why else? I don't want to dictate your life. You like somebody else, I'm just an idiot with a crush. I don't need to be anything more than your nemesis."

Okay, this is ridiculous. What if I want to date you? Perry asks.

"What if- Perry, that's absurd. It's not fair to the guy you actually like. Go tell him already, don't make this worse than it has to be."

Perry huffs. Heinz is the most oblivious idiot he knows, and that's a very low bar. No, Heinz, I like you, he signs once he knows Heinz is watching.

That's what I was trying to say earlier, he continues, I was just being vague when I should have said it straight up. There's nobody else. It's you, it's always been you. He smiles, his face turning warm. I love you, Heinz.

Heinz's eyes go wide, and he stumbles over his words for a moment. "You really do? You're not joking? You-you love me?" The why is more implied, his voice unsteady and unsure.

Perry nods. Of course I do. How could I not? He pauses, noting how Heinz is about to retort with something self-deprecating. Don't answer that. But the truth is, I do love you. I've loved you for years.

A small smile slips onto Heinz's face. "I know I already said it back in the other dimension, but I love you too." He pauses, his face turning an endearing shade of red. "And, uh, I'd really like to kiss you again. If that's, um, a thing you want?"

Perry grins. It definitely is.

With that, he leans up and winds his arms around Heinz's neck, pulling him down to plant a kiss on his lips.

Heinz hums into the kiss, smiling a bit against Perry's lips and wrapping his arms around Perry's chest.

He lifts Perry up a bit, spinning them around in a little circle, causing Perry to laugh a bit in surprise.

"What?" he asks, a hint of a laugh in his voice when Perry looks up at him. "I've always wanted to do that, spin you around like that." He pauses, lost in thought. "I mean, I thought it was platonic for the longest time. Jeez, I'm really oblivious, huh?"

Perry laughs. Tell me about it.

"Oh!" Heinz exclaims. "You- before we crashed, you were actually telling me that you liked me. And I thought you were just practicing or something. I'm really kind of an oblivious idiot, aren't I?"

Perry shrugs. You might be an oblivious idiot, but you're my oblivious idiot.

Heinz laughs. "And you're my stubborn boyfriend." He pauses, awkward. "That's what this is, right? That's what we are?"

Perry nods, smiling. Finally, Heinz gets it. Boyfriends, he signs.

Heinz's smile lights up his entire face, and he kisses Perry again. This time, Perry allows himself to melt into his arms, letting the stress and emotion of the past few days wash over him.

"Perry?" Heinz asks, breaking the kiss. "You're kind of trembling, is everything okay?"

Perry shrugs. He's not sure. Kissing Heinz like this is rather nice, but he's also exhausted from the events of the day. It didn't seem too bad at the time, but running through all those dimensions while carrying Heinz on his back left him drained. Then having to build the -inator on a time crunch left his mind frayed, and now the adrenaline is wearing off.

"Here, you must be cold," Heinz says, taking his lab coat off and handing it to Perry. "I know I always get cold after our fights, it's all the adrenaline leaving. And you must have been running on fumes while you were building already, huh?"

Perry nods, accepting the lab coat and pulling it on. He's caught a bit off guard when Heinz picks him up, fully lifting him off the ground this time, one arm under his knees and the other around his back.

At Perry's rather undignified squeak, Heinz laughs. "You look like you're about to collapse, and we can't have that." He looks around the lab, his eyes falling on the sofa in the corner. "Stay a bit, before you go home, get some of your energy back."

As long as you stay with me, Perry signs. Intellectually, he knows that Heinz is safe and home, but maybe he needs to convince himself just a bit more.

"I'd never leave," Heinz says, and Perry knows that he means more than just this moment.

As Heinz sets Perry down, he laughs to himself. "You know, five hundred years really can't come soon enough."

Perry narrows his eyes, not even bothering to churr his disapproval. No matter how much effort Heinz puts into his -inators, no matter how much he wants to follow their routine, they are not going through this again.

Heinz laughs as he sits down next to Perry. "Kidding, kidding. I wouldn't do that to you."

Perry sighs in relief and tucks himself into Heinz's side, getting comfortable so he can go to sleep. He said earlier that he was going to take a nap once this adventure was all over. Well, it's finally over now, so he's going to take this opportunity to finally take an uninterrupted nap.

Heinz presses a soft kiss to his forehead, wrapping his arm around Perry's shoulders. Perry smiles, his eyes already almost closed.

There's still a lot of weirdness left to process from this whole adventure, but all that matters right now is that they're safe, together and happy.

And really, who could ask for more?