After Newt got back from filling the garbage, Minerva gave him his next chore, grocery shopping. Minerva was standing in the door of her house, giving Newt his instructions.
"Now remember, Newt." Minerva said. "You have one hundred fifty dollars in your hands, the coupons you have will help you to keep it under that. And everything on that list must be gotten as so. The cheap store brand stuff is murder on me." Newt studied the shopping list in his hand, counted the money Minerva gave him, then he saluted her.
"I will complete this task to the letter, Minerva." Newt said determinedly. "I won't let you down."
Minerva smiled at him. "I know you won't."
Unbeknownst to either of them, however, Sheela was watching nearby. Using her acute hearing, she managed to hear everything that Minerva said. She smiled evilly at this information.
"So, everything on that must must be gotten as so, huh?" She asked nobody in particular. "Well, sorry, brother, but it looks like you won't be able to get the exact items that the mink desires." As Newt left for the grocery store, Sheela trailed him, making sure she wasn't seen by Newt or Minerva.
Newt looked up at the supermarket Minerva had sent him to, then down at the grocery list in his hands. "One percent skim milk, low-fat strawberry ice cream, fat-free yogurt, one head of lettuce, two celery sticks 20 centimeters long each, one head of cauliflower, one package of broccoli, two bottles Pantene shampoo, two bottles Pantene conditioner, one bottle Covergirl Queen Collection eyeliner, one Guerlian Meteorites Perles facial powder, and one dozen eggs." He read to himself. He turned his gaze from the list to the store. "Well," He said. "If all this is what Minerva desires, then I shall provide." With that, Newt walked into the store. Sheela peeked around the corner and watched Newt walk in, smirking evilly.
"Sorry, brother." She said. "But I'm afraid that you won't be able to provide this time." She then sneaked around the corner and into the store.
Inside the store, Newt found a shopping cart. As he pushed it down the dairy aisle, he looked at the shopping list.
"Let's see." He said. "The milk Minerva desired is to be one percent skim." He turned his gaze from the shopping list up to the aisle where the milk was displayed. He scanned the shelf, trying to find the milk that Minerva wanted. Meanwhile, on the other side of the aisle, Sheela was watching Newt maliciously.
"One percent skim milk, eh?" She silently asked. "Well, we'll just see about that." She then looked down at a bottle of milk in her hand. The label on it read that it was three percent skim milk. "A little label tampering..." She said, placing a label for one percent skim milk on the bottle. "And the milk is now one percent." She placed the milk on the shelf, making sure it was visible enough that Newt could see it. Newt continued to scan the shelf, and soon he spotted the milk bottle Sheela tampered with.
"Aha!" Newt said in delight. He grabbed the milk bottle and placed it in the cart. He then brought out the list and placed a check mark next to the milk. "One percent skim milk, check." He said. "Next on the list, low-fat strawberry ice cream." He put away the list and began pushing the cart further down the aisle. Sheela watched after him, her expression remaining unchanged.
"That's what you think, Newt." She said. She then disappeared into the shelves.
Some time later, Newt was searching through the display cases for the ice cream on Minerva's list. While he was doing this, Sheela was watching him from inside the display case, behind the ice cream boxes.
"So." She said. "Your mistress requires low-fat strawberry ice cream, does she?" She then held up a box that had a strawberry ice cream label on it. "Well, brother, let's see how she feels about you getting her some of the regular stuff." She pulled out a sticker with the words "low fat" on it, and stuck it on the box. She then placed the box on the display case shelves, where it would be most visible to Newt. After scanning the shelves a bit more, Newt saw Sheela's altered ice cream box.
"Ah!" He said. "There you are." He opened up the display case and grabbed the ice cream box, placing it in his shopping cart. He the pulled out the list and wrote a check mark down on it next to the ice cream. "Low-Fat strawberry ice cream, check." He said in satisfaction. "Now for the fat-free yogurt." He then pocketed the pencil and the list, and proceeded to push the cart down the aisle. Sheela watched him from inside the display case.
"Not if I have anything to do about it, Newt." She said, then disappeared behind the ice cream.
The shopping went on like that for the rest of the day. Sheela tricked Newt into getting regular yogurt, switched out the head of lettuce for a head of cabbage, got Newt to get celery sticks that were a millimeter off Minerva's designated length, made him pick up cauliflower and broccoli that was past its expiration date, had Newt pick up cheap store brand shampoo and conditioner instead of Pantene, gas well as cheap store brand eyeliner, got Newt to buy Chanel facial powder instead of what Minerva asked for, and tricked Newt into picking up yet another carton of expired eggs.
Throughout it all, Newt remained none the wiser, convinced he'd gotten everything on Minerva's list as so. As he was standing in the checkout line, Sheela was watching him from behind the end of an aisle, malicious smile still showing on her face.
"Heh heh heh heh." She laughed silently to herself. "Once my brother returns to the mink's home, and she sees how badly he blundered with her shopping, it will be just the thing to get her to eject him from her abode. Then nothing will stand between me and her." It was now Newt's turn to place his items on the checkout line. He placed the items one by one on the conveyor belt, and the clerk ran them over the price scanner. When he was done, he turned to Newt.
"That'll be $158.00." He said. Newt handed the man the money and coupons that Minerva gave him. The clerk took the money and began to thumb through the coupons. When he finished, he looked up at Newt with a displeased expression.
"Sir?" He said.
"Yes?" Newt asked.
"These coupons don't match anything you gave me." The clerk answered. Newt's face gained an expression of both shock and surprise.
"What!?" Newt asked.
"Yeah." The clerk replied. "Your coupons are for one percent skim milk, low-fat strawberry ice cream, fat-free yogurt, a head of lettuce, Pantene shampoo and conditioner, and Covergirl Queen Collection eyeliner. You gave me three percent skim milk, regular strawberry ice cream and yogurt, a head of cabbage, and cheap store brand shampoo, conditioner, and eyeliner." Newt's eyes widened in horror at this. The clerk continued. "Plus, all of the other food you gave me is past their expiration dates. Oh, and I didn't see any facial powder in the stuff you gave me."
Newt's expression changed to a confused one. He looked down into his shopping cart, and saw that he had left the facial powder in the shopping cart. "Whoops." Newt said in embarrassment. "Heh heh, silly me." He took the facial powder from his shopping cart and placed it onto the checkout line. The clerk picked it up once it reached him. Newt sweated nervously, hoping that he got the right facial powder. The clerk passed the powder over the scanner, looked at the readout on his screen, looked at the coupons again, then turned to Newt.
"This is Chanel facial powder, sir." He said. Newt's eyes widened and his arms dropped. Sheela gained a particularly malicious smile at seeing this.
"Maybe it's not cheap store brand." Sheela said to herself. "But it certainly isn't what the mink asked him for." At that moment, something neither Newt nor Sheela expected to happen happened.
A bell began ringing, noisemakers began sounding, and confetti and balloons began to fall from the ceiling. Newt began looking around while Sheela stared at what unfolded before her, both confused at it all. Then a man in a snappy gray suit, well-combed hair, and a big smile on his face approached Newt.
"Congratulations!" The man said, his voice like that of a game show host addressing the winner. "You are this store's one millionth customer to buy Chanel facial powder! For being the lucky buyer, you have won a trip to Paris, France, a million-dollar shopping spree, free tickets to the Paris fashion show, and a check for one million dollars, redeemable at any time!" Newt was surprised at first, but a smile grew on his face as the man told him all this. He happily accepted the prizes, eager to go home and show them to Minerva.
Sheela, meanwhile, watched all this happen, eyes wide in shock that yet another of her plans had been foiled by pure happenstance. After accepting his prizes, Newt decided to return everything except the Chanel Facial Powder, and this time, collect the right things on Minerva's list. Sheela was so in shock at what happened with the facial powder, that she basically sat in her hiding place during Newt's second round of grocery shopping.