Chapter 24
Ujio called for the doctor to come examine me as soon as he got me home in the stolen horse and cart. He carried me in the house and gently placed me down on the mattress in our room. Neither of us said anything, it had been nothing but silence between us the whole journey back. I lay on the mattress and closed my eyes, I felt so disgusting, I was caked in sweat and dirt, my face splashed in Kyoko's blood, my night kimono was soaked through, I must have wet myself at some point in all the action. I never felt so ashamed, I didn't want Ujio to look upon me like this, with sympathy and sadness. I felt like a failure of a woman, I knew if I lost the baby nothing would be the same between us again.
The blood on my face had smeared and streaked from my tears. I laid a hand on my stomach as Ujio went to fetch something, my nails were chipped and dirty, my fingers grazed, purple lines ran around my wrist from the tight rope bind. My fingers tucked into the opening of my night dress and felt the soft skin of my swollen stomach, I wished for any movement, a kick, a shift, anything. Ujio returned quickly with a damp rag, he patted and wiped at my face, cleaning the blood from my tired skin. A knock at the door caught both our attention.
"The doctor," Ujio stood and left the room quickly. As he opened the door, not only did he see the doctor, but also Taka, Katsumoto, Algren and Nobutada too. Ujio was annoyed at their presence, he wanted us to be alone for this, he did not want to find out the fate of his child with others present, especially the American. Unable to refuse his Lord though he let them in. The doctor made no pleasantries and headed straight into the room to examine me. Ujio stayed in the living area with the others, Taka made tea, Nobutada and Algren sat at the table in silence, whilst Katsumoto and Ujio slid open the back door and watched the morning sun land on the fields.
"The doctor is taking a long time," Ujio spoke as he crossed his arms. He stared out off his back porch with hard eyes, he was determined to mask the sadness within them. Katsumoto said nothing, he did not wish to upset his friend by trying to speak wise words about patience now. Taka appeared through the door with two cups of tea in her hands, she handed over to the men and bowed slightly.
"Arigato Taka," Katsumoto said as his sister retreated back into the house, taking a seat at the tiny table. By time the tea cups had emptied the doctor emerged from the room. Ujio and Katsumoto returned inside, sliding the door shut behind them, everyone looked at the doctor expectantly, awaiting news. The doctor straightened up and cleared his throat as he addressed the room.
"I believe the child is in good health, we did feel a movement inside," The doctor informed the party before him. Almost completely in unison the room deflated, letting out the breaths they didn't even know they were holding. The doctor continued. "The bump is larger than I would expect for this time but that may be typical of western women, other than that no cause for concern, I do suggest the girl eats something, she is faint and weak, keep her comfortable she is in some pain," The doctor finished with a bow and let himself out the house.
"Such blessed news," Taka whispered, closing her eyes tightly.
"I am so pleased for you my friend, we shall go and leave you in peace, please send our well wishes on to Arabella," Katsumoto smiled at his right-hand nodded at his Lord, a small smile of relief on his lips. Katsumoto followed the others to the door, but before he took his leave, he turned to his friend for one last word.
"We will hold the wedding ceremony in three days-time," Katsumoto informed his friend, as the cherry blossoms had just begun to open that day. "You will soon be a husband Ujio, I hope we see the day you become a father, before war comes," Katsumoto mused sadly.
"I hope this too,"
On the morning of my wedding day preparations were in full swing, I was thankfully fully rested and recovered. Taka had taken me to the hot springs to clean, she washed my hair and tied it up in a rag like the first time she brought me to those steamy waters. My hands caressed the soft skin of my bump as Taka dressed me in the stunning white Kimono that Ujio had left for me in its box.
"A few more days and this Kimono may not have fit," Taka smiled as she wrapped the front of the dress over my bump. She was right, it only just fit.
"The doctor said I will have a large strong baby," I smiled,that news had made me overjoyed that our child will be healthy and strong, but I worried about the birth, about whether I could handle it.
"He is strong because you are strong," Taka said gently as she wrapped the white obi around me, it sat just above my bump under my Taka spoke a pain through my ribs as the child moved and kicked inside me.
"He could be too strong," I breathed half-jokingly, taking in deep breaths. My heart fluttered every time I felt the slightest movement within me, even when they were painful, as I knew it was a blessing the child still lived and thrived.
Taka patted a little rouge on my cheeks and lips subtly with her index finger. My pregnancy glow had really begun to shine, my skin was clear and bright.
"You look so beautiful Arabella, Ujio will be proud to call you his wife," Taka smiled softly as she separated sections of my almost dry curls. She pulled and pinned the hair pieces up into an elegant updo. She was much gentler than Miss Josephine was styling my hair for performances, that reminded me of something I wanted to do before heading to the temple.
"There's somewhere I need to go before we go to the temple," I told Taka as she stepped around me and pulled a wrapped handkerchief out of her Kimono. Taka nodded; she had a feeling she knew where I needed to go.
"Ujio asked me to give you this, for a present," Taka spoke as she unravelled the fabric in her hands. As she uncurled the edges of the white cotton she revealed to me a beautiful hair pin. It was a pink flower with an orange centre, the petals faded to white on the edges. Attached to the pink flower were more flowers, they were white and bell-shaped. The bell-shaped flowers were strung on thread, dangling loose from the main pin.
"It is beautiful, is it a hair pin?" I whispered as I looked upon the delicate flowers.
"Yes, it is a Kanzashi," Taka informed me as she stuck it in the side of my hair. "Finish," Taka announced, she took my hand in hers and squeezed tightly. "We are proud to have you officially join our village,"
We did not head to the temple straight away, I had something I needed to do first, we walked up the hill towards the temple grounds but took a little side path further up the hill. We walked carefully up the steep incline, I made sure to pull up my Kimono as we passed over puddles and muddy patches. Eventually we came to a cemetery. It was not my first time here but it still caught my breath how tranquil and beautiful this space was, far different to the grave yards I knew in France and England. There were no gothic structures, no gargoyles or large iron gate, towering tomb stones. Small stone structures made to look like almost like houses or lanterns marked each passing. A large weeping tree looked over the tranquil ground. I walked along rows of gravestones, names carved beautifully into the rock in a language I could not read, only speak. Eventually we came to a very simple gravestone, no name was inscribed here.
"Miss Josephine,"I sighed, I bent down and touched the simple rock lantern that marked her passing. "I hope you are somewhere good; I like to think you would be happy for me, I know you would have forced me into marrying Ujio anyway if you were here," I half giggled and sniffled. "You would have said 'Arabella you cannot be unmarried with a child or you end up a strumpet, now marry that man and put an end to the silliness' or something like that," I smiled, I held back tears not wanting to ruin the rouge Taka had so carefully dabbed onto my cheeks.
"This is your travelling companion? You were close?" Taka asked, not understanding a word I had just said, it didn't matter, my words were for Miss Josephine, her eyes wondered over to a large intricately carved gravestone where her husband's ashes were kept with his families.
"Not really, I didn't think we were," I replied as my fingers scraped against the grey rock. "You do not know what you have until it's gone, though," I said to myself, I could not find the words to put it in a way Taka would understand, I was still learning. "She took care of me… like a…" I tried to think of the words, "Nanny, or like a governess," Taka nodded along with my words.
"She died helping me," I squeaked, a lump getting caught in my throat, "It is my fault, I am only here because of her,"
"You honour her for her sacrifice," Taka spoke, bending down and laying a hand gently on my back. "I see you here often, lighting a candle and saying your own prayer for your own western religion," I felt some what exposed that Taka had seen me visiting Miss Josephine through the winter.
"I come to see Hirotaro often," She spoke sadly, glancing over to his family's stone.
"You miss him?" I asked sadly, I could only imagine how she felt, losing her husband, the father of her children. I pushed the thought that I could be in her shoes soon to the back of my mind.
"Everyday," She sniffled, she stood up and gathered herself, pressing down and straightening up her Kimono. I too stood and took Taka's hand in my own.
"You are strong," I smiled welled up in Taka's eyes as she stared down at our interlocked hands.
"But I am not Arabella-san," She whispered, "I feel for another man, not even one year after my husband's death," I squeezed her hand in support as she spoke. "I am a bad wife, I dishonour my lost husband,"
"You deserve happiness Taka," I whispered to the woman as she sniffled and tried to regain her composure, "And Nathan makes you happy, there is no shame or dishonour in that,"
"Is it so obvious?" Taka sighed; we began to walk away, back towards the path that would lead us down to the temple.
"Not from your side, from his very obvious, Americans are not so good at hiding their true feelings, their thoughts," I observed.
"You think he feels for me?" Taka asked, slightly shocked at my insinuation.
"Yes, he definitely feels for you," I giggled. How could she be so blind to it? He was not good at hiding it.
"I cannot act upon it, he leaves this spring," She sighed as we made our way down the steep path.
"There is no time like the present," I preached with a wide smile. "I am marrying Ujio, even though he could die next week, next month, I am valuing my time with him" It was almost as if I was coming to terms with it, that he would die, and I hated myself for it. Was this the attitude of a samurai wife?
"So you should, I have never seen Ujio so caring and respectful about someone other than my brother,"
"Katsumoto said I was the perfect cherry blossom Ujio had been waiting for," I remembered his analogy. Is that why he wished us to marry when the cherry blossoms bloomed?
"My wise older brother as usual was correct," Taka smiled as we approached the temple grounds.
Writer - thank you for reading, sorry it's a slow one, the next one will be longer and quite romantic, please let me know what you think, I appreciate your reviews so much.