Chapter 21: When the Night Became Lonely

After hours of trying to get Ryder to drink, he'd only swallowed a few drops of water.

I thought for sure that he would wake up soon after he passed out, but I was wrong. I also had assumed it was from dehydration, and that giving him enough water would make him come to, but I was also incorrect. I wasn't expecting him to be out for this long, because I honestly don't know what to do without him. He's the person that knows more survival skills between the two of us, and he's an advanced hunter whereas I have no experience. He's been my rock for the entire games so far, and now I feel more alone than ever.

This right now is probably the most stressful situation that we have been in during the course of the Hunger Games. Even watching Ryder kill two girls wasn't as scary as seeing him in a state like ths. I don't know how long he is going to be unconsious for, but if it's more than three days he could end up dying of dehydration. The water he's getting down right now isn't enough to sustain him, and there's no other way for me to get him to drink. I just have to hope he gets better at keeping down the water, because otherwise he might not ever be able to wake up. I need to find a way to get him to drink more, and I need to figure it out as fast as possible.

I jolt in a startled fashion when I hear music from the Fallen coming on. I'm shocked that the blaring song did not wake Ryder up, but after all he is unconcious. The only two faces that flash in the sky tonight were Wheta and Archer, who Ryder and I both witnessed take their last breaths. It's strange to think that almost half of the tributes that were sent into the arena are now dead, but I'm thankful that Ryder and I are still alive. He may be down, but he's a fighter and I know he'll wake up again eventually. I won't stop tending to him until I hear his cannon sound. It's scary to think about doing this alone, but I don't think I have to worry about that right now because he's still alive.

I still have the traumatizing thoughts of Ryder ending Wheta's life in my mind and I can't get them out. There was blood everywhere and it was almost like he had turned into a different person when he killed her. The sweet and loving boy that I know became the person everyone else always thought he was - an angry brute. I know for a fact that it's not who he is, I just think he got very upset because Wheta tried to come after me. I begin to cry when I look down at him in my arms, not able to comprehend how this sweet boy was able to turn everything around because he wanted her dead.

I think about Archer for a moment, knowing that even he was nowhere near deserving of death. He may have deliberately tried to make the Capitol think I was disloyal to Ryder, but anyone with a brain would see that it's not true. He freaked me out a bit during training, and made me uncomfortable many times, but he didn't do anything to deserve a painful death penalty. Though he was someone I did not want to win the Hunger Games by any stetch of the means, but it doesn't mean I wanted him to die. The entire situation we've been put in is so messed up on so many levels, and I'm truly having trouble dealing with the fact that people are dying left and right and others view this as entertainment.

It's becoming all too real that this could be it for Ryder, and that scares me practically to my own death. I know if he dies, I will not be able to win the Hunger Games. I wish I'd be able to have us switch places somehow, and that I'd be the one unconsious and he'd be perfectly fine barring a few bruises. He's the one that was and still is supposed to win. I know I'm trying as hard as I can to save him, but it breaks my heart that my best may not be good enough. I wish I had a sure way of knowing what would happened, as the anxiety of not being sure if he'll live through this is becoming too much for me to handle.

"Please wake up soon. I need you," I talk to Ryder, even though I have no idea if he'd be able to hear me or not.

"You shouldn't have been the one whose chest the axe went in. She was aiming for me, not you. It's so wrong that you're the one who lost all this blood. I should've stitched you earlier. I messed up so badly and now you're taking the fall for it. I really need you to wake up, I need you here with me. I love you more than you know," I want there to be a magic word I could say to make him wake up, but this is not a fantasy - it's becoming all too real.

I can do nothing as the tears fall from my face onto Ryder's body. He really could die, and everything that I've been doing could end up being all for nothing. I wish I'd be able to see him smile again, because seeing him in this unconscious state is the most heartbreaking feeling I've ever had. I would take my own life without a second thought if I knew that he could live. I would do anything for him, and I know I will never lose hope until I hear his cannon sound.

But what happens if he loses hope before I do?

Hi guys! Another chapter complete! Do you guys think Ryder is going to wake up or not? This chapter was sad to write, but I can't wait for the story to continue!

Yours Truly,

CuriousClove :)