TOBIAS POV

When I was asked if I wanted to get out of the compound for the day, it sounded liberating. The reality of it is, even the crisp air and the partly cloudy weather are not enough to erase the last week of recovery.

The truck hums as it carries us through the fence and along the road surrounded by bare fruit trees that will guide us to the Amity compound. My window is rolled down, and I watch as we pass the same field where the battle took place, where Tris and I were in the thick of it. The cornstalks are still bent at odd angles, and it is obvious that they were disturbed even though it was over a week ago.

Random bursts of pain roll through me at the reminder. I would rather not remember if I can help it.

But it is inevitable that I will. The very reason we are here is to survey the damage, to oversee the process of fixing up Amity and moving the rest of the injured Dauntless back home. As soon as we are finished, maybe I will be able to breathe again.

The truck rolls to a halt. I push open the door and step out, groaning when the unceremonious landing jars my aching body.

Mike and I walk side by side into the dome. It has been closed off for the winter, the massive tree still reaching up to the glass ceiling. It is messy from the invasion, yet warm and welcoming as it always has been, and there, at the base of the tree, Johanna is there to greet us.

Her smile is forced as she tells us all about what improvements have been made since the last time Mike visited. It turns out that the rest of the Dauntless are stable enough to be transferred, and she offers to lend us a few Amity trucks to take the people we can't fit in ours home. It seems that she wants less of a Dauntless presence in her faction, and I don't blame her for not wanting to feel as if she is being held hostage again.

"We are slightly behind on food production, as you can imagine," she admits. "Everyone is shaken up."

"That's fine," I say. After a small hesitation, I add, "The soldiers that stay will be for your protection. Not for speeding up your work. You're not under anyone's jurisdiction anymore."

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, revealing the scar that stretches across her face. "I understand."

"What the factionless did, those executions..." Mike shakes his head. "We are very sorry."

It is the first time that I really appreciate having Mike as a co-leader. He has been decent, fair, but it didn't strike me until now that he doesn't act as past Dauntless leaders have. He displays human qualities that they didn't, isn't arrogant or particularly stupid like they were. It makes me curious about what faction he is from.

Johanna nods. "We are deeply saddened by it. Their crimes against the factionless were not worthy of death." With her eyes trained outside, where the Dauntless are being loaded onto the trucks, she continues, "The factionless had been imposing restrictions on food and our livelihoods, and even the most Amity of them all ended up on the executioner's block by rebelling in small ways. One of them, the girl that began reciting the Dauntless manifesto, had kept extra food that she had harvested so that her mother and sister could eat."

So that is how Dez met her fate. I clench my jaw and stare down at my shoes, wondering how I am going to tell Tris.

Mike assures Johanna that we will not let something of that nature happen to them again before excusing himself to talk to one of the commanding officers about keeping the injured factionless in our custody under constant surveillance. Then it is just Johanna and I.

"I was equally lucky and unlucky to be here when you invaded," she tells me. "Evelyn brought me back here to watch the executions. She was planning on having more people shot just hours after the Dauntless came."

I frown. "What do you mean 'back here'?"

She raises her eyebrows. "You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"The leaders of each faction are being held in Erudite. The Candor prisons are full, so..."

It seems obvious that Evelyn would be using the other leaders as mouthpieces to keep her conquered factions under control, but I had no idea until now.

"Your father is there as well," she says.

"He isn't my father," I snap. "And he isn't a leader either." Though we both know how much power he holds over the Abnegation.

And I ask myself: why would she take Marcus and not bother to take Abnegation back? Then I think of who caused this entire mess, who is the reason that there is a draft seeping in through the bullet holes in the Amity compound windows, and I know that it is about revenge for her as well.

For some reason, I thought Evelyn would not divert too far from her goal to end the regrets from her past. She hates everyone, and everyone hates her, and I believed that she was going to wage war against the entire city instead of a few select groups of people.

But then she traded her advantage for Jeanine, and she didn't care about taking an extra faction so long as she could kidnap her abusive husband. Her personal goals are outweighing her overall desire to overthrow the faction system, and at this point it is only a waiting game before the factionless have had enough of her brutality, her self-centered leadership.

Johanna suggests that we walk outside, and we do, despite how cold it is. The remainder of snow crunches as we walk. I wince whenever the ground is uneven and my foot drops suddenly.

"I wanted to thank you for what you have done. Both you and Tris," she says.

I shake my head, exasperated. "We're just trying to survive, Johanna."

She doesn't know the awful truths, only the glorified ones. The rest of the city is the same way, and I know it bothers Tris just as much as me to receive the awed stares and the expressions of gratitude when all we can think about is the bodies we are responsible for.

"Were you trying to survive when you stole the information from Erudite and Candor, when you told the entire city the truth about the suicides? Or when Tris turned herself in to Erudite to save lives? Or when you sacrificed everything to be able to destroy the last of the suicide serum?"

She gives me a knowing look, and I blink at her, wondering how she and the rest of the world found out about all of this.

"Let us be grateful, Four," she implores. "It may be the last positive thing some of us have left to hold on to."

As soon as I hop out of the truck, my boots displacing the gravel, Tris is there to greet me.

It has been a rough day, returning to Amity with all of the reminders it brought. But the smile that lights up her stormy eyes when she picks me out in the crowd makes me forget about the overwhelming ache. Then she is in my arms and my face is buried in her hair and finally I can close my eyes for a moment.

Maybe it won't always be like this, where we have to stress over the other's safety just because they stepped outside the compound for a few hours. Right now though, I can tell how much it still affects her by the way her hands tighten in my jacket.

I flinch when she brushes over a particularly painful spot in my side as she is pulling away.

"It wasn't too much for you, was it?" she asks, her eyebrows furrowed. "Going out there?"

I shake my head. "No. I think I have been feeling better, actually. Maybe it's the moving around that is making me less stiff."

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and walk back inside the compound with her, flanked by some soldiers who are barely returning home since the fight. Her own arm, still protected by the brace, feels rigid around my waist.

"They're doing better out there than I thought they would be," I tell her. "They are a little behind, but that is expected."

"What about the rest of the casualties?"

"They all came home today."

She smiles, genuinely relieved to hear some decent news. "That's good."

It reminds me that I know why her friend was murdered and that I have to tell her eventually. But she looks so radiant with happiness for a moment, and I don't want to be the reason it is ruined. So I decide against it for now.

Dauntless is buzzing with excitement. Families in the Pit eagerly await for their soldiers to return home, and the amount of hugs around me is almost alarming; this faction has never put a real value on family—with the motto "faction before blood" being a rule that, as soldiers, they were required to follow—but I think after all of the turmoil, Dauntless is finally starting to change.

Tris watches them with disappointment. "We're going to attack again soon, aren't we?" she asks.

I nod. "Erudite, probably."

She breathes in deeply, mentally preparing for the prospect. I can't help but feel her same discouragement. Our lives seem to be an endless cycle of gearing up for the next bout of mayhem.

"Well, you probably have important leader things to be doing," she remarks. "I just wanted to say hi. Are you going to be on time for dinner tonight?"

"Possibly. We're making the Tori announcement tonight, so I might not make it, but I will be there after," I say as we come to a stop near the chasm railing.

She cringes at the reminder of Tori. "Well, hopefully the Dauntless pick someone decent."

Scratching the back of my neck, I comment, "It might not be left up to them."

"What do you mean? Did you and Mike choose someone?"

Not exactly, or at least not yet. Ever since we gave Tori her ultimatum, I have been considering who could serve as her replacement, and only this morning was I able to come up with the right answer.

Zeke may not be the most diplomatic person—or the smartest—but he is smart in the ways that matter most. And by losing Tori, we are losing our unity because as much as I hate to admit it, she was a key to keeping everyone on the same page. The Dauntless trusted her because they lived alongside her for all their lives.

I was never enough like them, if the way they taunted me about my father back in Candor was any indication. They may have respect for me now, but Dauntless loyalty will always default to the Dauntless-born and Dauntless-raised. Zeke is all of those things, but he is also someone that I can trust.

When I mentioned my idea to Mike on the way back from Amity, he agreed with my reasoning. All that is left to do is see if Zeke himself approves.

"I'm going to offer it to Zeke," I say. "But I'm not sure he will want it."

Tris likes my choice, if her content expression is anything to go by. "Only one way to find out." Then she stands on her toes, pressing her lips to my cheek and telling me, "Good luck."

When she tries to escape, I catch her arm. "Hey."

She stops and turns, confused, until I kiss her. It is full of haste since we are in public, but the way she presses up against me in that short amount of time promises more.

"I'll see you later," I tell her.

I watch her walk off into the Pit, casting an easy grin over her shoulder. Something stirs in my chest again, and I find myself chewing the inside of my cheek with uncertainty.

Crossing the bridge across the chasm, I make my way to the apartment wing. When I knock on Zeke and Shauna's door, it is Zeke who rushes to answer.

"Oh," he states, looking bored at the sight of me. "It's just you."

I shove his shoulder in a good-natured manner before I step inside. Shauna greets me, though there is less enthusiasm in it than there normally would be. She has held a grudge against me the longest; one time, when I was sleeping on their couch, she told me that Tris didn't deserve what I did to her. I agree, of course, but it hurt more to hear one of my closest friends say it.

Something tells me that she isn't over my deception like everyone else is. That's okay though. She doesn't have to be, because I'm certainly still not past it.

Zeke is all surprise and nerves when I offer him the position as Dauntless's third leader, trying to deflect and asking all kinds of questions to simultaneously talk himself into it and out of it. Underneath it all, I can tell that he wants it, but in his opinion he isn't qualified.

"I don't know, man," he repeats for the twentieth time. He stops pacing. "I think I want to, but..."

Then he looks over at Shauna, and I realize that he has been steering the conversation onto other things because what he is actually worried about is not being by her side all the time when she needs him.

She catches on too. "Zeke, if you're going to suggest that I can't take care of myself, I swear—"

He shakes his head, eyes wide, and I want to laugh at the exchange. "No, I'm not—"

"Just take the job, Zeke," she tells him, exhausted.

With a conflicted sigh, his pacing starts up again. Then he grabs his jacket from the rack by the door and announces, "I'm going to walk around until I decide."

The door closes behind him. Shauna rolls her eyes and states, "He's going to say yes."

"I know." Sometimes it takes Zeke a while to figure out what is best for him. Like Shauna.

Fighting a grin, she shifts in her wheelchair. "I didn't want to ruin his moment," she says. "But I want to tell you something."

I raise my eyebrows and lean back on the couch. "What is it?"

"Cara told me that they have been working on a prototype in Erudite, something that could help me walk again." She tries to hide her smile behind her hand, but even masked, it is still infectious. "I don't want to get too excited, but I can't help it."

It is suspicious that there is this much positivity revolving around everyone's lives at the moment, and I silently question it. On the outside though, I am smiling almost as wide as she is.

"That's very exciting," I tell her.

"I know! You'll have to teach me how to fight again. I'm sure that I am way out of practice."

It reminds me of long nights in the training room, practicing and sharpening our skills, when I first discovered something I was actually good at and genuinely enjoyed. I laugh quietly even though it burns. "I don't think I will need to."

"Maybe not," Shauna agrees with a sigh. "I just hope they can continue their work once all of this is over."

As she makes a dramatic gesture, her engagement ring catches my eye when it glints in the light narrowly shining through the window. I clench my jaw, frustrated with myself.

"What's your problem?" she asks, noticing my sudden downturn in mood.

"Nothing, I..." I stop myself. "Nothing."

She narrows her eyes. "Obviously it's something."

"No," I snap, attempting to shut down the discussion before it has even begun.

"Four, I'm not stupid," she says, leaning back smugly and crossing her arms. "This is about Tris."

"No, it's not," I deny.

"You think I don't recognize this exact attitude from initiation almost two years ago? You used to stare at her like a lost puppy from across the dining hall, and then when Zeke and I questioned you on it, you would suddenly be all defensive." She pauses as I look anywhere else but her. "This is clearly a girl problem, so tell me. I can help."

I sigh hotly. I don't want to admit this fear to anyone. And once I say it loud, my hesitancy would make it sound as if Tris is the problem, and she isn't.

"Are you guys in a fight or something?"

I roll my eyes. "No."

Shauna's expression suddenly shifts from teasing to knowing. "You want to marry her," she states.

My next breath comes as a sharp inhale at her correct guess. A moment ago this was only something that I knew about.

"Okay, so I've guessed correctly. But I fail to see the problem."

I stand, aggravated, though it takes me longer than usual. "I don't know what to do," I wince. "I want this, I'm sure of this, but something is holding me back, and I can't understand how I could be afraid of something that I want."

There it is, out in the wind, no longer my own secret. It has been weighing on my mind for a while, and I still can't figure out why I am refusing to make Tris and I permanent.

And now I'm pacing the room like Zeke was just a few minutes ago.

"Could you ever see yourself with someone else?" Shauna inquires slowly, wondering if I might kill her for asking that question.

"No," I answer sharply, with certainty. If our on-and-off periods, brought on by war and chaos, have proven anything, it is that I would never bother to consider anyone else. The mutual torture we are constantly put through—that we put each other through, sometimes—doesn't ever change where we end up. Tris has always been the first and final and only option.

"Are you worried that she will say no?"

I shake my head. We discussed it once, when we were taking refuge in the abandoned hotel across the city. Before everything took a tragic turn, I had asked her what her answer would be if I asked her to marry me in a different life. That answer would not have changed.

Shauna sits straighter now, looking like she has had an epiphany. "I haven't ever really talked about this with you because I know it's not a good subject, but..." She clears her throat. "Is this about your parents?"

My throat is dry when I try to swallow. Because I think she is correct in her assumption.

My father once warned me about marriage. That was when my mother was still around, and she was sobbing in the bathroom as he towered over me where I was curling in on myself in a corner.

Spare yourself from marriage, he had said. You will do it because it is your duty, but marriage is misery. Don't invest yourself in it. Look where it got me.

I remembered those words as I watched my mother apply an ointment to the bruise on her cheekbone with frail fingers the next morning. I carried them with me for years, because I truly did believe that marriage was an unfortunate pact that left both parties dissatisfied with a child in the center of it all.

And it is when I come to the realization that I have been wary of it all these years because of his lie, that that caution lingers within me as I strive to create a new life that abandons him—it is then that I know that my decision is right.

"You're right, and it shouldn't be," I finally state. "Thank you, Shauna."

She seems glad that she could offer something. She may not know much about my childhood, just that I was beaten and that Evelyn eventually saved herself and therefore I survived on my own until I was able to transfer. Maybe I will tell her the longer, more brutal story one day, but for now, her little knowledge of my Abnegation life was enough to sway me in the right direction.

"No problem," she says.

"Just don't tell anyone. I'm serious."

With a sly grin, she asks, "Why would I? This is my opportunity to get revenge on Zeke for hiding his big secret."

It is an agonizing reminder of the last few months, but I am glad that she can find some humor in it. And I leave feeling confident instead of anxious, finally in control of my own life.

TRIS POV

Dinner passes slowly as we await the announcement. Our table is probably the only group of people aware of what has become of Tori, if the mindless chatter at nearby tables is anything to go by.

The rationed mashed potatoes on my plate are not tasting very well tonight, with my head injury still making me nauseous at times. Eventually I give up eating completely, and I turn my full attention to Uriah's flamboyant stories.

"And then, with a bullet in my arm, I swept up the Amity girl—"

Christina interrupts him, "This did not happen."

"I'm serious!" he exclaims. By now, everyone is either shaking their head or laughing in disbelief. "I knew I didn't have a lot of time, so, being the hero I am, I—"

He lets out a high-pitched shriek when his brother walks up behind him and pokes the bandage on his upper arm. It makes us all burst out into another fit of laughter, though Cara and Caleb don't understand what to make of us.

"Not funny," Uriah grumbles, lightly massaging his arm.

Zeke winks at Christina and I when he sits next to Shauna. I give him a knowing look, since I can take a guess at what he is so lively about, and he raises his cup towards me.

"So now that we all know about what mythical things are happening in Uriah's love life," Christina says, nudging me. "What's going on in Tris and Four land?"

I roll my eyes and glance over at my brother. He and Cara have been sitting with us lately, and although I am glad for it, I worry that one of these days he will chime in with something that will set me off again. Maybe that signals a fault in me; maybe I shouldn't concern myself with his opinions.

"We're good," I shrug. "He is working more now that he can actually move around, so I haven't seen him much the last few days."

It doesn't bother me because he obviously has a duty, but even though I still get to see him briefly at the beginning and end of each day, I do miss him.

She leans into her hand. "Are we attacking again soon?"

I nod. "Erudite."

Cara listens in with rapt attention when I announce it, and Shauna asks for more details, but since that is really all I know for now, I can't offer them any more information.

Cara taps her fingers on the table. "Could you ask if I can come?" she implores. "I swear I won't get in the way. Once I'm home, you won't have to deal with me any longer."

Laughing softly, I say, "You're not a problem, Cara. I'm sure it will be fine."

Next to her, Caleb meets my eyes. "I can help, if you'll let me," he says. "I know my way around."

"Yeah, clearly," Christina ridicules.

I give him an apologetic look even if I don't necessarily feel it. For all I care, Christina can get her jabs in because it may be the only damage anyone can cause without fracturing our relationship. Again.

"I'll consider it. But I don't know if I want you near a battlefield," I admit.

Because he may be irritating, but if my brother—the last broken shard of my family—was killed, I would be devastated.

"I just want to help," Caleb repeats softly.

I know. I know he is guilty and his involvement in something beneficial to the city and to me alleviates some of that guilt, but I don't like the idea anyway.

I clear my throat and tell him, "I'll think about it." Because maybe there is something more that we need him for, something I am unaware of.

At the sound of banging cups and hands, everyone's attention drifts to the front of the dining hall, where Tobias and Mike are standing. Zeke takes a deep breath and straightens his jacket with a tug on the lapels, and Shauna encourages him with a hand on his arm and a reassuring grin.

Mike begins once the chatter has died to a murmur. "We have some good news for you all tonight, as well as some sad news," he announces. "So I'll get right into it. Today, we were able to return all of our wounded home from Amity—"

Cheers erupt throughout the dining hall, and I watch Tobias as I wait for them to die down. A smile flits across his lips before he fixes the threatening stare back onto his face.

"How do you guys get anything done?" Caleb says incredulously, put off by the rowdy Dauntless surrounding him. "I mean, I have seen them act like this before, but..."

Nobody answers him. It reminds me of my disbelief I felt towards the Amity when I first watched them work out their differences one at a time. At least this is peaceful like their calm discussion was then; there isn't always this kind of collective tranquility in Dauntless, no matter how it is being displayed.

"We are all excited about this news, as well as our established relationship with Amity going forward," Tobias says. "However, there were many lives lost on the battlefield that day, and we are forever indebted to them for where they have gotten us."

A solemn quiet washes over the crowd for a moment before they are clapping more politely for the Dauntless who were killed senselessly. If only they knew why it happened that way.

"That being said, we have made some adjustments to our leadership team," Mike continues. "Tori has decided to step down, and we wanted to thank her for her time serving Dauntless."

Of course, the Dauntless applaud her, though she is nowhere to be found. It is obvious from here that Tobias is silently tearing down the false words, but once that part is over with, he straightens with anticipation.

Mike finally says, "With one last announcement, Tori designated someone to take her place. And therefore, your new leader is Zeke Pedrad."

Zeke pretends to be shocked by the honor, with a hand on his chest and a gaping mouth. I was the only other person who knew besides Shauna, and Uriah jumps up in pure excitement to embrace his brother. After that, the Dauntless can no longer be contained, and they flood over to Zeke so they can lift him up in the air. Clearly, they are happy with the decision, even if it isn't Tori's.

Soon enough, the celebration dies down, and people start to trickle out of the dining hall. Tobias manages to work his way to the table once the crowd has dispersed somewhat. And I don't know if it is related to his best friend's achievement, but something about him seems abnormally...content as he makes his way over.

"Hi," I say.

"Hey," he replies, holding out a hand. "Come with me?"

I rise, slipping my hand into his. "Where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"I'm taking you on a date."

Gaping at him, I laugh at the unexpected offer. Dating isn't a prospect we have had time for in between death and despair, and even considering it is humorous. Then I think that maybe it isn't funny that the world decided we shouldn't get to experience a normal young adult relationship, but I don't let it damper my mood.

"It's nothing big," he admits with a shy grin. "Maybe it's not even a date. Just come with me."

With my eyebrows raised in question, I agree and follow him. On my way out, Christina catches my eye, giving me a ridiculous thumbs up and a wide, suggestive smile.

Tobias leads me through the Pit, and I have a feeling that I know where we are headed.

"The chasm?" I tease.

He scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah. We haven't really been back there for a while, so I thought..."

I bite my lip because he doesn't know it, but I have—at least before the night we raided the Amity train and he found me there. It was when I was planning on saying goodbye to him, or whatever that was. When I was ranting out loud because I thought he was dead.

The recollection makes me press closer into his side, my free arm tangling around his.

"I'm glad," I tell him. "I just want to be alone with you, if only for a little bit."

We take the winding steps to our secret ledge, where the sound of the water rushing below us is more powerful, booming in my ears. I lower myself to the ground, watching with slight concern as he does too, groaning. I have to refrain from asking if he is okay, since I have probably done so a hundred times in the last week.

"I get my brace off tomorrow," I say. "I think I forgot to tell you. But yesterday they said that because I used the healing serum, I'm almost completely healed."

He reaches out, placing his hand over mine. I stare down at them, at his larger one and my imprisoned one.

"That's good," he answers.

"Did Zeke need much convincing?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes with amusement. "He's an idiot. I could tell he wanted the position all along, but it took some time for him to accept."

With a nod, I watch the water splash to the ground many feet below us. As happy as I am for Zeke, it is just another friend in the most prominent line of fire. And even though we are supposed to be thinking about ourselves for once, my mind drifts, and I can't stop myself.

"What's going to happen to the city?" I sigh.

Tobias presses his lips into a line and faces forward. "I don't know," he answers. "I thought that maybe we were starting to have a strong chance, but Evelyn still has the serum we don't know anything about, and we still don't have the numbers. And we just lost more."

I worry my lip. On top of that, we are going to have to start spreading our military out to cover the liberated factions.

"Mike has been suggesting that we encourage more women to fight." He shakes his head. "I don't want it to happen, but at least it isn't a draft. Yet."

We meet each other's gazes at that. Because we both know what I am thinking; we both know that I am not the person to sit back and watch like a coward as other people who I am just as capable as—or even more—fight for our future.

But neither of us want to start an argument, so we let the unspoken tension pass.

"Well, like you said," I say. "Not all of the factionless are going to stay behind Evelyn. Not with winter still here, not while she is hoarding their dwindling food supply."

"That is still a big if."

I see the ingrained uncertainty in himself in his gaze. Maybe he will never see the strong-minded, fair leader that he is, but the Dauntless do. Sometimes, he fails to witness the respect that surrounds him everywhere we go, though the mix of admiration and intimidation they regard him with doesn't ever miss my attention.

"You're good at this," I tell him softly. "You may not believe it, but you're the only reason we are still in this fight."

My disappointment in him ran deep when I discovered how he had betrayed me. Now, I wish I could go back and shake myself awake, because the suicide serum probably would have wiped us out before we had a chance to run for our masks and our weapons. It was a massive mistake on his part for not telling me, but I understand it now, even if it was at my expense.

He leans his forehead into mine, and we share the same breaths for a moment before he closes the gap. He kisses me tenderly, his hand around the back of my neck, and when we pull away, my head is dizzy again.

With a small laugh, I say, "We've gotten much better since our first one."

As he thinks back to our first kiss, in this very spot, he smiles faintly. And despite the cold, crashing water beneath our feet, I feel warm all over.

"I didn't understand any of it back then," he admits. "I didn't understand what I wanted. I just wanted to be close to you."

"Me too."

With the world plummeting into hell, it is nice to remember the beautiful ignorance, the time when we were trying to make sense of our feelings for each other without knowing with what lied ahead. However, without the melancholy and the tribulations, it never would have evolved into what it is now.

And when I look over at him, at the scar on his cheekbone and the curve of his jawline and the furrow of his eyebrows, I am grateful. Because I don't think I would have been able to love him as much as I do without the pain there to remind me of what is important. I would have loved him of course, but the extent to which I love him now is unparalleled, and that is because I have a newfound appreciation for everything around me after being given all of these chances to live.

He shakes his head and states, "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we will survive this, and everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be. Maybe Evelyn will conquer us, and we will be prisoners under her regime. I don't know," he stresses. "But I know that whatever happens, I want to face it with you."

I try to swallow the emotion rising up in me at his words. Tobias has never been the definition of romantic, but on the occasions that he shares the depth of his feelings, it can be too much for me to handle.

"We're a team," I assure him. "Whatever we face, we face it together."

The expression on his face makes me wonder if he is nervous. I am about to ask, except his body language settles, and he is once again tall and confident.

"I might want to marry you," he says, his eyes dark and hopeful, searching mine. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."

Whatever I was going to say dies down in my throat. The smile that tugs on the corners of his lips is enough to make tears flood my eyes. I can hear my own pulse in my ears, the chasm roaring beneath us, his words echoing in my head.

"Tobias..." I whisper.

His eyes claim mine, endless in depth, and I drown in their blue. And I don't know how this could be real, how I could have this chance, until he speaks again, and I know that this is certain because of how firm his low voice is.

"Maybe I'm already sure," he continues, "and I just don't want to frighten you."

A wet laugh escapes me, and when I wrap my arms around his neck, I am finally able to choke out, "Then you should know better."

We collide, his hand splayed across my lower back insistently. We are a mess of sentimental kisses and clinging touches until we are able to put enough room between us to breathe, and then we are both laughing in unadulterated bliss, even though my tears won't stop coming.

My face stays hidden in his shoulder for a long time after that. And I realize that waiting for this long to marry him was like waiting to say "I love you"; it was almost too late, and it would be my biggest regret if I died before I had.

Somehow, life is brighter today.

Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I am engaged, since I feel like there has been a bounce in every one of my steps ever since it happened. On top of that, my arm has just been freed from its constrictive brace. And when I step out of the infirmary, the Pit is busy like usual, and for once I feel like everything is slowly migrating back to normal, if only for today.

Christina is tagging along with me, but I haven't told her the news. Tobias and I decided that we didn't want to hold off on getting married and that we also didn't want to make a big deal about it—Abnegation humility probably being the driving factor. It is about us, and even though our friends would be extremely supportive, we both agreed that we didn't want the massive gathering that they would want.

And I know that if I were to tell my best friend, she would try to plan an extravagant event. So I don't tell her despite the guilt that tugs on my arm. She will find out soon enough.

"So if we take Candor," I start before amending my words. "When we take Candor...are your mom and sister going to stay or leave?"

Christina purses her lips. "I don't know. It will depend on the situation. Like if it's still dangerous, they will probably stay. If the factionless are weak, then they will leave," she answers.

I nod. "That makes sense."

"Don't get me wrong," she sighs. "I love them. But my mom can be a royal pain sometimes. She wants to take Rose back to Candor no matter what—she hates it here—and I don't want them to if it isn't the right time. Then she thinks she can lecture me about joining the war."

I raise my eyebrows. "You're going to fight?"

She bumps my shoulder. "Don't act like you haven't considered it."

She is right, I have. But I value my life a lot more than I have in the past, especially now since I have the most compelling reason.

"Well," I say. "Four would have my head if I did."

"Probably," she comments. "I just...after seeing what happened to you two and Uriah and all the other Dauntless, I feel like I could be doing more than sitting here. Like I should be doing more."

I understand the sentiment, more than anyone. What I don't know is where I stand on the subject, for me or for her.

It doesn't matter for now though, because suddenly that isn't a concern when Tobias is jogging through the Pit, dodging the crowds and searching for my face. When he finds me, the relief in his expression can only mean that something horrible has happened because why else would he look like he was glad that I was alive since I last saw him?

It is disturbing how everything can change in a matter of seconds.

"Tris!" he shouts.

With my reflexes finally working, I rush towards him, Christina right on my heels. We meet at the edge of the Pit, and we clutch each other's arms in the middle.

"There's a bomb," he tells me quietly, trying not to attract attention from the hundreds of other people in the Pit.

A cold sweat breaks out across my skin. "What?" I panic.

"Evelyn sent us a message. It's here somewhere, and she said that if we don't hand over one of the leaders in the next two hours, it will go off."

Christina's eyes are as wide as mine when I glance over at her. "What do we do?" she blurts out.

Tobias scans the crowd as if a bomb carrier is walking among us. They very well might be. "Both of you need to go to your apartments. If you see someone you know—that you trust—on the way, then take them with you."

Smart. If we can quietly spread the word around Dauntless and gather our closest friends and family, then the person with the bomb will be singled out. If the bomb is already planted, then it will be somewhere they would be expecting a large group of people to be. Like the Pit. But if everyone is stretched thin across the apartment wing...

Christina calls something about gathering her family as she darts into the crowd. Tobias pulls me away from all of the oblivious people and into a darker alcove. My head spins as I try to catch up with what is happening.

"Go home, and do not open the door unless it's someone you know," he instructs me.

"Okay," I nod, shuddering. "Okay. Wait, Tobias."

He stops, glancing at the other people in the hallway skeptically. It is in times like these when people become paranoid and lose their heads, no matter how rational they might be. And I know I have to warn him, even if I don't have much time.

"Don't do the right thing," I beg him.

"What?"

"I know you're thinking it; I would be too. But turning myself into Erudite did nothing, and if you hand yourself over to Evelyn, then she gets what she wants, and she will probably blow us up anyway."

Tobias's eyes are wild, and when he swallows hard, I know that I was correct in my assumption.

"Promise me," I say, my voice shaking. It is wrong for me to demand something that he asked of me long ago, and that I had disobeyed. But I do it regardless, because I love him. "Promise me you'll come home."

"I promise," he tells me. And there is nothing that suggests hesitancy, so I let myself believe him.

Then he takes my face in his hands and kisses me softly, despite the urgency of the moment. I hold him there as long as I can before he tells me to go and runs in the other direction. I stare after him, committing him to memory, and I do everything I can to keep my throat from clogging up from impending tears.

With a deep breath, I hurry back into the Pit in case I happen to run into someone I know. At first I can't see anyone in the blur of faces, and I tell myself that everyone is probably in their apartments anyway. But I can't be certain that my friends will be okay if they aren't in front of me.

"Beatrice?" someone calls. It could only be one person if they are here in Dauntless, and I whip around to see my brother just entering the Pit.

"Caleb!" I gasp in relief, as if the bomb has already gone off and he could have been a casualty. I hurry over to him, throwing my arms around him briefly, and he stiffens at the strange contact. "You have to come with me. Something is wrong."

He harasses me with questions as we head to my apartment, and we catch Uriah wheeling Shauna through one of the hallways on the way there.

"Hey guys!" Uriah waves. "What's—"

"Follow me," I demand.

They shoot each other a look, and Shauna asks, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, something's wrong. There's a bomb, and they told us to find people we knew and to get somewhere safe."

Everyone shuts up after that. And that is how I go from an average, decent day to a dreadful one, waiting on edge for an explosion and locked inside my apartment with Uriah, Caleb, and Shauna.

"They're not stupid," Uriah remarks after I fill them in on the details. "Four and Zeke won't turn themselves over."

It doesn't stop my pacing; if anything it quickens it. Because it may sound foolish to anyone else, but I once gave myself up in order to save other lives. It wouldn't be unexpected if one of them decided to. Tobias already did once, in his own way.

Shauna and I hold each other's understanding gaze.

"What does Evelyn have to gain out of this?" Caleb asks out loud.

I shake my head. "I think that's our problem," I say. "We keep expecting her to make strategic moves, and she isn't like that. She doesn't want a leg up right now; she just wants to retaliate for our Amity ambush."

It makes me wonder if she even knows that I gave up my leadership status. Maybe she hoped that I was still a leader so that she could torture Tobias by attempting to strike this bargain of handing someone over. Maybe she believed the whole faction would turn on the leaders in fear for their own lives, and the work would have been taken care of for her.

To be honest, they probably would have. It sounded as if Tobias wasn't planning on letting the faction know about the bomb, and I pray that he didn't for his own safety. Also, it is more impossible of an endeavor to corral such a rebellious group of people into safety if they are aware of an imminent threat.

We hear doors in nearby hallways slamming, as well as footsteps and some laughter. They must not know.

But we do. And that makes it infinitely more difficult to wait this out. An hour passes. Then two hours, and now it is a matter of time before the bomb goes off.

My head stays bowed into my interlocked fingers as I sit on the bed, ready to spring up at a moment's notice. I don't know what I expect myself to do if something does happen, but every time I hear the harsh bang of a door closing after curious Dauntless must have peeked out, I twitch in the direction of my own door.

Uriah and Shauna have a hushed conversation across the room, and that must give Caleb some incentive to cross the room to where I am.

"So what is the plan for Erudite?" he asks, attempting to steer my persistent mind elsewhere.

I uncover my face and look up at him. "I asked Four. Turns out, we do need someone who knows their way around," I say.

"For what?"

"The leaders of the other factions are being held in the Erudite cells. I'm sure you know your way around there."

It is meant as a fact, but it doesn't stop the wounded expression from appearing on his face. Eventually, he brushes off the comment and nods. "Okay," he says. "I can help."

"But you're going to hang back with me. You're not running out into a battlefield," I tell him sternly.

Truthfully, I don't even know if I am going. It wasn't something I discussed with Tobias, just assumed. Although if chewing my nails raw as I wait for the present news is any indication, I can't bear another waiting game. At least being in the action will prevent me from losing my mind completely.

"Remember when Mom and Dad would punish us by sending us to our rooms?" Caleb reminds me with an easy grin. "That was always the longest stretch of time known to mankind. That's what this reminds me of."

He doesn't mention the crushing guilt and worry that accompanies both scenarios. He is trying though, so I try to meet him halfway and recognize it.

"Yeah," is all I offer.

With a sigh, he says, "Four will be fine."

The awkward comfort doesn't aid matters. Then it occurs to me that he doesn't even know how permanent our relationship is, and it makes me repulsed with what happened between Caleb and I, that I feel like I can't even tell him that I am getting married soon.

Unless I don't.

Sitting isn't enough for me anymore, so I begin pacing. After only a few minutes of walking back and forth from the wall that used to say "Fear God alone" to the edge of the bed, a distant blast roars through the compound. We all hold our breaths as the walls vibrate, as the door shakes.

Evelyn wasn't bluffing.

I lean against the wall, my face hidden behind my hands to block out the world around me. Shauna holds her tears back until she can't anymore, and the dread building inside me is heavier when I hear her sniffling.

I decide to pray, because it is the only thing I can think to do.

It has been a while since I thought about God. My parents would be disappointed, but what else is to be expected when a lot of times I feel like I live in a godless world? I stray further from Abnegation each day, as well as religion.

That doesn't mean I don't still believe in Him. So I turn to Him now, begging for Tobias to return through that door unscathed. One day he may not, but I plead for it to not be today.

The feeling of the explosion trembles through me for the next couple of hours as the sun sets outside the windows and we receive no answers. Surprisingly, nobody else leaves their apartments, or at least from what we can hear they don't. Then, as we all begin to lose faith, the doorknob rattles from a key being inserted.

Knowing that only one other person could have that key, I spring up. And unlike last time, when Zeke walks through the door, Tobias does too.

Zeke rambles about how the bombs were strapped to a factionless member and how they had to shoot him as he was pursuing them, and somehow the explanation sticks in the back of my head even though all of my attention is on the protective arms securing me.

Tobias smells dusty and his tall body almost slumps into mine, like he is winding down from a day-long adrenaline high. If he is in pain from standing erect and on alert all day with his still-healing injuries, then he doesn't mention it. I suppose none of my conclusions matter because he came home, and that is more than I could say a few months ago.

Gasping shaky breaths into his shoulder, I find myself swaying on my feet, thoroughly exhausted from yet another mentally straining day. The only things that keep me grounded are his steady heartbeat under my palm and his lips against my ear.

"I promised, didn't I?" he whispers.

And unlike me, he kept his promise. I hold him tighter as my grateful tears fall.

Guys I busted out 8600 words for this one! And they're getting married ahhhhhhh

I really wanted to make the proposal different. Of course everyone writes it with the typical "I loved you from the moment when" blah blah blah and then the "will you marry me?" There's nothing wrong with the question, but I feel like with Fourtris it wasn't right. They aren't typical, and they've never been the romantic type. So I did something more fitting, and I hope you liked how it turned out (because I sure did)!