A/N: Hi guys, just wanted to say that this story is close to being done. There's a lot left to go, but it all wraps neatly into a nice bow that I can't wait for you guys to read. There's so much I'm excited for and as you guys are reading this chapter I am currently working on the last. There's also something important I'd like to reveal towards the bottom of the A/N, I feel like this is something I've hinted at but haven't really drawn much attention to. On another note, just wanted to thank you guys for reading this story. I means the world to me and I hope you guys learn something from it. Cause...if you haven't then DON'T LET TOXIC PEOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE. Y'ALL ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSED!
Hey: Rucas is super complex and I mean extremely complex even to me. But I should remind you that none of their friends know about their toxicity. Riley doesn't share it with her friends because she knows how they'll react - Maya has her own suspicions but she doesn't know much - as for Lucas he doesn't tell his friends anything. And they both don't really know it's toxic they just think it's... complicated. And they are too young to be putting themselves through this kind of relationship. Most toxic relationships fall through the ages of 16 to 23 - crucial years in a young adults life. As for the endgame part...you'll have to tune in.
Damn: Damn indeed. I know how it's all going done, it's been planned for months, but I definitely think it's special in it's own way.
Guest: Hope you enjoy.
.Thee: I love your review, thank you. And that was one of my main goals, I wanted you guys to be angry and stressed, even upset at the way things were going. These are all normal responses. It's the way people from the outside looking in feel, but the people on the inside are truly blind to everything and they're the center of it, it's just going through their noses. I hope this chapter evokes a similar response.
Enjoy!
Chapter 19
Lose You to Love Me
ooo
Riley walked into the girl's bathroom during school and sat in the bathroom stall. She needed to be somewhere she could hear Viola for their call to continue. She couldn't stand the noise coming from Lucas and his friends so she opted to go somewhere private and quiet: the bathroom. "Can you hear me now?" she asked.
"Yes, that's much better," Viola answered. "I was just calling to tell you that I can do this weekend at ten in the morning. You'd have to come with your mom to work and you'd spend the rest of the day in my office watching me do what I do."
The brunette had to suppress her need to squeal and jump up and down in excitement. "I'll be there. 10 a.m. sharp. Thank you so much for doing this Viola, you have no idea how much you've helped me. It's insane."
"You don't need to thank me. I should be the one thanking you, it means a lot that you accepted my help. Hey, listen, I have to let you go I have a meeting with a client, but let me know if anything changes. Okay? I'll see you this weekend."
"Bye, Viola. Thanks again."
When the call ended, Riley was ready to exit the bathroom, but something stopped her. It was Victoria. She was talking to someone on the opposite side of the bathroom and Riley could hear them perfectly.
"...he's always with her, I seriously don't know how I'm gonna get him alone again. He's like one of those guys that always obeys and is on his best behavior whenever his girl is around, but the second they're alone...that's when they're really fun."
"And he rejected your last invite?" the girl beside Victoria asked. "That's so unlike him. He was always down."
"I think it's Riley," she continued.
Riley's interest suddenly peaked. That's when she concluded that the guy they were previously talking about was Lucas.
"You can just tell she's the controlling type. She's probably telling him that if he goes anywhere without her that she'd ruin his life. You know, all that crazy girl shit? I mean do you remember that time in class when she called him a dumbass in front of everyone?"
"Yeah, girl. That was wild. I'm surprised she didn't get in trouble for that."
"I just..." she growled in frustration. "I came so close last time. I've been thinking about it ever since. That kiss was...I'm still thinking about it. I swear if he didn't leave when he did I'm sure we would've fucked. I just know his dick big," Victoria commented, lusting over Lucas. "He's packing, he has to. He's too hot to have a small dick. How big do you think it is? 6 to 7 inches?"
"Try 9 to 10," Riley corrected as she pushed open the stall and narrowed her eyes on her. Just then, the girl she was talking to timidly walked out the bathroom leaving Victoria all alone. Seeing her stunned only brought a rush of energy through her body that she couldn't exactly explain.
"Riley, I had no idea you were here - "
"But you do now," she revealed, stepping closer to her as if to intimidate her. "So, what else are you wondering about Lucas? You know, since you're so curious?"
"Uh," Riley grinned at the girl's inability to speak. She looked like a deer caught in headlights and she was enjoying it much than she should, "I -"
"...cause it seemed like you had a lot of questions."
She nervously ran a hand through her hair, "I was playing, Riles. It was girl talk."
"You were playing?" she questioned. Riley had never felt this before, she was so angry at Victoria for talking about Lucas like that when she had no right to. It made her think of all the times she could've thirsted over him or acted on it. "Stay away from Lucas," she warned, "Or I swear to God Victoria I will slap the shit out of you."
She turned on her heels and headed for the door, but stopped when she heard the dark-haired girl speak. "You don't go through your boyfriend's phone enough to know he's the one always asking to see me," she snarled, flashing the biggest smirk in existence.
Just then, Riley felt her fists ball and before she knew it, she was being sent to the principal's office while Victoria was being accompanied by the school's nurse.
Since Riley had gotten into a fight, she was immediately sent home. Her parents were notified and Cory insisted she go to his class so he could talk to her. She knew from the beginning that she was in for a lecture, a long one at that, but if she was completely honest, she didn't care. She was glad Victoria got what she deserved, even if it meant she was the one getting in trouble for it.
By the time she got there, word got out and half of the school knew. Maya and Isadora were the first to call her, but she didn't answer. She texted them and told them she would explain everything later, but for now she was going to witness her father's wrath; who hadn't exactly been too fond of her behavior recently.
Cory's class was empty by the time she got there. He glanced at her and for a few moments he was concerned, but then authority washed over him and his face fell flat. "Take a seat."
"Take a seat?" she questioned him. That was so unlike him, he would've never said that to her nonetheless spoken to her in that tone, the tone he used when he was getting one of his students in trouble, not his daughter. It was clear from that instant that she was being punished by Cory Matthews the Teacher, not her father. She followed his directions and sat down in front of her dad. Had Riley not been acting the way she currently was, he'd rush to her side and comfort her, but given the circumstances, he decided to push that off for later.
"So now your fighting girls at school?" he asked, disappointed. "Riley, what is this behavior? Your mother and I raised you better than this. We never, not once, told you fighting was okay, so why was today the day you decided to do that?"
She didn't have the heart to tell him. He wouldn't understand the context behind it, plus, telling him would mean that she'd have to confess to the year-long arguments she'd gotten into with Lucas; and that would only make matters worse.
And telling him the reason she got into a fight at school was that another was talking about her boyfriend was your typical high school cliche, and she didn't want her dad to judge her for it.
"I asked you a question," he reminded, noticing her hesitation.
Riley wished there was another way she could get out of this, but she couldn't. She didn't want to be talked down by her dad, she wanted to be left alone and congratulated because Victoria had it coming. "I don't like her, okay?" the way the words rolled off her tongue surprised her, she never intended to sound so careless. "It was bound to happen anyway."
Cory sat back on his seat, disappointed in her response. "That's really what you're gonna say right now?"
She didn't answer him.
"Riley, I want to understand you. I know this isn't you and I'm not sure if this is some young adult personality change that you're going through, but if something is wrong then I need to know. You can talk to me."
Silence.
Cory released and deep and prolonged sigh. "You're grounded - "
"I'm already grounded - " she reminded.
"I don't care. And forget about that pageant show, you're not going to that either."
"Riley," a voice from the hallway called out. Her head shot up as she stared at a worried Lucas. "Hey, I heard what happened. I came as fast as I could. Are you okay?" His hands instinctively went to her bruised chin then down to her scraped hand, leaning forward to examen her more carefully. "You're bleeding."
"It's not mine," she informed, causing Lucas to step back. It was already unlike Riley to get into a fight but to cause her opponent to bleed told a different story. "And I'm fine, I just...punched her. She's...whatever."
"It's not whatever, Riley," Lucas exclaimed, touching her face once more. "You got into a fight."
"I know," she sighed, "I get it, I was there! I know I got into a fight. You guys are both overreacting."
Lucas turned back to look at her father, "Mr. Matthews," he greeted with a nod before turning back to his girlfriend, "Everyone at school is saying you started it, is that true?"
She didn't want to tell him, especially when her dad was there, but the only thing that was worse than getting in trouble by her dad was getting in trouble by Lucas. She nodded, "Yeah. I did."
He sighed and looked into her eyes, he was still surprised by the fact that his Riley Matthews had gotten into a fight. "Why? How did this start?"
Riley was silent for a moment as she considered telling him. She was never the type of person who refused to confess something out of embarrassment because she was never put in that situation but standing in front of Lucas and telling him felt just like that. She knew she could tell him everything, but this time it was different. Telling him the context behind it would be admitting to him that she was still hurt and insecure about their relationship after he cheated.
She spent so much time trying to prove to her that she wasn't, but she was.
"Dad, can we have a moment... alone?"
He looked down at his work and wanted to say no, but judging from the way Lucas cared about Riley, he knew the teen was going to be able to get through to her. The more and more he got to know the young guy, the more he was convinced Lucas was the one for Riley. "Sure. I'll be in the staff room, but only for ten minutes."
Riley nodded, "Thank you."
When her dad was gone, she walked towards the door and closed it shut before turning around to face her boyfriend.
"Riley, what's going on?" Lucas asked, noticing her close the door as if what she was about to reveal was top secret.
"Are you seeing Victoria behind my back?"
Lucas' face dropped, "I'm not. I promise. Swear," he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, "You can even check for yourself, I promise."
She leaned back on her desk, believing him. If he was, he would've never offered up his phone. "I lost it," she confessed, wiping a tear from her eye. "She's so into you I couldn't realize she was lying to me about you guys seeing each other. She said that to spite me and to get a reaction out of me I gave her what she wanted."
Lucas furrowed his brows in confusion, not entirely sure he understood. "You fought Victoria?"
Riley nodded, ashamed of herself. The guilt had kicked in and she hated herself for feeling like that. She had every right to react. "Yeah, I caught her talking about you in the bathroom and I punched her."
"Victoria?" he asked once more, searching for confirmation. He was unable to wrap his head around Riley's words. "Victoria Baxter?"
"Yes," she confirmed, slightly irritated. "Did I stutter? She's into you and she's such a bitch."
"I didn't know that she was. Guess I never paid attention to it."
"You didn't know," she felt herself grow more irritated. "Lucas, c'mon," she exclaimed, lightly pushing his shoulder. "I could see it if from a mile away if I wanted to."
"Who cares then?" he began, grabbing her hands. "I'm with you. I love you, all right? That's all that matters, baby."
She wished that had been enough to solve everything, but it wasn't. Victoria's comment and her dad's lecture had ruined her entire day and mood. Without thinking, she brought Lucas closer to her and confessed the only leverage she had on him. "I know you guys made out on Halloween a year ago. Talk to her again, Lucas, even for a minute, and the next person I give a black eye is gonna be you."
His eyes were frozen as he watched her take a step back. He couldn't believe that Riley now knew something that could potentially harm their relationship once again. When she picked up her backpack and nudged his shoulder as she walked away, Lucas wanted to tell her something, but he couldn't bring the words out. He was scared she'd react negatively and break up with him off the bat, so he decided to let her go.
Giving himself time to think about ways he would recover from this one.
ooo
Riley parked her car in front of Lucas' house.
Watching him near her car, in his Nike sweater and blue jeans, reminded her of a time when she would've felt her stomach blow up with butterflies at the sight of him. She would've felt her cheeks blush and her heart race, but now - after everything - she couldn't imagine feeling that.
She felt her mind wander to a few days ago when everything seemed perfect between them. If she thought back hard enough, she could still feel the range of emotions she currently wanted to feel, but with everything that happened, she was unable to make them last.
The troubles from her relationship with Lucas had shifted onto her relationship with her parents and it was taking a toll on her happiness. She felt sorry for the way things were between them, she loved them deeply and found comfort in knowing that she hadn't disappointed them, but that was no longer true. Her parents saw her in a different light, through a different set of lens, and it saddened her that their relationship had become strained.
She was almost always open and free around them, but lately she had kept to herself and no longer greeted them when she came home from school. To Riley it felt like she was living with strangers. Except for her little brother Auggie who invited her to his room and made her feel good about herself. He knew she was grounded and did what he could to entertain her; which meant listening to him sing occasionally.
She was sorry for disappointing her parents, but she wasn't sorry for sabotaging Lucas' grade.
Since she was grounded, she spent a lot of time reflecting on what she'd one. Countless hours of staring at her room searching for something to do allowed Riley to come to the conclusion that she wasn't sorry. Lucas had insulted her and, sure, she had done the same, but on top of those insults Lucas had also been a jealous freak and a cheater.
She had every right to react. This was logical to her and to her only because nobody close to her knew why she did what she did. She hadn't told them which is why they were so disappointed in her.
The moment she found out about Zuri, everything changed. Even the way she felt about Lucas. She still loved him of course, but she didn't care about their relationship as much. Normally, she would race the speed of light to fix their mistakes, but now, she didn't care as much. When things were going downhill, she no longer tried to find a way to change their course, instead, she held on and hoped they wouldn't crash and burn.
Driving to Lucas' house made her feel hopeful in a way. It had been the first time she was able to leave her own in three days and hang out with her friends outside of school and it felt like a blessing. She was allowed to leave her house because her parents never stayed true to their word when it came to grounding her. And the fact that she would be at a school event also convinced him to let her go. Ironically, Cory only allowed her to go after he found out she would be with Lucas - he was convinced the teen was a good influence for her. If only he knew, she thought.
As soon as Lucas got inside the car, the environment got awkward. He didn't know what to do or what to say around her. Normally, he'd kiss her cheek or say hello, but after everything that happened, he didn't know what he was allowed to do anymore. One wrong move on his behalf can spark an argument.
He decided to tempt his fate. "Hey."
"Hi," she responded, hardly adding any enthusiasm to the word.
"They let you out, that's good." Everything about her appearance, even down to the way she stared let Lucas know she did not want to be around him. Or she was still angry with him and there were things she was bound to yell at him for if she got angry.
"Yeah, they're convinced you're a good person," her words spat like venom and stung him, but he didn't draw any attention to them. Instead, he moved to put his seatbelt on.
"We should get going, the show's gonna start soon."
She moved to turn on the car. In doing so, she caught the smell of something she had recognized before. Her eyes shot up to see him and in that moment she knew what was going on.
Lucas smelled like weed.
She could tell he was unaware of her discovery, but the underlying scent in his jacket gave it away. He was probably so used to the smell that he couldn't tell when it was on him.
Her jaw locked as her hands gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. She was even more upset with him now. Part of the reason Riley was in trouble was because Lucas snitched her out for doing the exact same thing he was doing now. She was also mad at him because they had gotten into countless arguments about it in the past and in every single one, she pointed out his hypocrisy. He was so against her doing it, but there he was, getting high behind her back. Instead of arguing about it like she normally would, Riley decided to be mature about.
She wasn't gonna let it go, that was out the table.
Instead, Riley Matthews was going to ruin his day another way.
And she knew exactly what to do.
When they made it to their school's auditorium, Lucas was starting to miss doing these fun pageant shows for the school. He won last year's competition and the year before that and he enjoyed it everytime . Aside from lacrosse and football, this provided another opportunity for the school to applaud him.
He was the king of their school after all and he hated that Riley didn't let him do it this year. In fact he didn't even want to come, he saw no point in it if he wasn't going to be a part of it, but he still showed up because he wanted to spend time with her - especially since he wanted things to go back to normal.
As soon as they got there, Riley needed to use the bathroom. Lucas took her ticket and waited for her to come out, occasionally greeting his friends as they walked by. He didn't know it at the time, but Riley had seen Missy Bradford crying in there. She didn't know why she was crying or anything, but she didn't bring herself to ask. She knew the teen was going to throw a fit if she expressed concern for her.
Instead she walked out and kept it to herself. They walked inside the auditorium, handing their teachers their ticket and taking a seat on the third row of the auditorium.
"Welcome to our 14th annual pageant show where, yes, ladies and gentlemen - you heard right - teenage boys are critiqued on their talent and appearance. Every year we try to make things a little different by incorporating new themes into our show. This year's theme is A Rainy Day in New York as you can see by all the decorations," Bailey Williams gestured towards the auditorium. "I will be your host for the night," she announced before twirling in her umbrella. "So without further ado, let me introduce you to this year's contestants. First off we have Adrian Michael. Adrian was voted Best Smile for the class of 2021 and participated in multiple community events such as Trunk Or Treat and Mason's Festival. Adrian enjoys spending time with his friends and playing video games."
"This next contestant is the fastest swimmer our school has ever seen. He may be short, he may be shy, but he's still a better swimmer than you," the crowd laughed. "Please welcome Alex Hewitt."
As soon as she introduced every contestant, that contestant stepped out and modeled their outfit. The crowd cheered them on, the contestant struck a pose, and returned to their previous position.
She went on to introduce everybody, repeating their own respective introduction and modeling their outfit. And once Bailey got to Zay, Riley knew this was her moment to get back at Lucas for everything he'd done.
"Our next contestant is Zay Babineaux. He's captain of the basketball team and get this ladies and gentleman, co-captain of the football team. He plans to attend NYU after high school and wants to major in kinesiology. He likes long walks on the beach and will beat you at a dance battle. Everybody please give him a round of applause."
"Zay! Woooo!" she cheered loudly along with the rest of the crowd, causing Lucas to glare at her for a few seconds.
"Doesn't he look great?" Bailey asked the audience as Zay modeled.
"Woooooo," Riley cheered.
"Take it off!" A girl from behind them yelled.
"I would like to see it," another chimed causing the audience to laugh.
Once Riley was done cheering and sat back down, Lucas knew this was going to be a problem. Seeing his girlfriend cheer on another guy with enthusiasm she failed to give him, made him upset. He wanted to tell her to calm down and to stop being so loud, but he knew he was in no place to tell her anything about her behavior. She would quickly turn the argument on him and he'd lose once again. To prevent any of that from happening, Lucas kept his displeasure to himself, he pretended like none of it mattered to him and that he was unfazed by it, but it did no good. If anything it only made him more upset.
With so many thoughts and emotions racing through his head and body, it was impossible for Lucas to keep his composure and facial expressions. He was clearly upset about something and Riley took notice of it. As of lately, it felt like she could sense his discomfort and anger more than his happiness and love. It'd become a sense that she developed through all the arguing they've done.
Her behaviour continued throughout the entire show and Lucas couldn't help, but clench his unshaven jaw throughout. He could feel the beginning stages of his anger and it did more than just anger him, but annoy him as well.
Part of the reason Riley kept cheering him on was that she knew about Lucas telling Zay and Charlie to stay away from her. If he heard her being so supportive of Zay then he'd realize that telling them to stay away from her wasn't doing anything. It made him attempt powerless and unsuccessful.
She also knew Lucas had a tendency to get jealous whenever his friends, or any guys he didn't know were around her. His hostility towards the guys he suspected of her liking hadn't gone unnoticed either and it frightened her.
By the time the show was coming to an end and it was time to announce the winning contestant, Lucas had enough of Riley. He was upset with her and he was even more upset that she hadn't gotten the message he was mad. She would turn to him occasionally and he made it obvious every time that he was angry, but she continued to cheer Zay on anyways.
"This year's winning contestant and the 14th winner of Abigail Adams High School pageant show is… Zay Babineaux."
"WOOOO! ZAY!" Riley cheered as the crowd applauded. The dark-skinned teen came out and accepted his crown, waved to the crowd before walking back.
The girl, on the other hand, that had announced Zay as the winner had caught Lucas' attention. She wore a nice skin tight dress with dark makeup and curled hair. Curiosity getting the better of him, Lucas began to examine her. She was very beautiful with brown skin and dark hair and if he was being completely honest, her figure wasn't exactly unflattering.
As he got lost in thought, he heard a sudden and distinct feminine "ahem" beside him. Apparently he had been so caught up in checking her out that he hadn't realized he was making it obvious.
"What were you looking at," She challenged, eagerly awaiting an answer.
He looked away, refraining. "Nothing. Just glad our friend won. C'mon. Let's go."
ooo
"There he is," Riley cheered for Zay the second the pageant was over. He was backstage being congratulated by his other friends when she joined in, Lucas trailing behind.
When he turned to her, he was a little hesitant to talk to her, but he did anyway. He was holding a bouquet that had been given to him when he won, but he set it down to accept Riley's hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be here."
"I wasn't gonna miss it," she watched Lucas and Zay do their handshake. "To be honest none of the other contestants had a chance."
"Yeah, well, that's good to hear. Did you hear me mess up my line?" Zay asked, "I thought I blew it."
"No, I honestly didn't. I think you were fine you should've heard the other girls though, you got some fans."
"I sure do," he said, brushing his shoulders off. "I'ght, look I got to go now, I agreed to go with my friends out to eat. But thanks again for coming."
"Yeah. Go, have fun. Celebrate."
"Thank you," Zay turned to grab his bouquet before heading out the door. The second he was gone, Riley met Lucas' gaze. He looked serious and ready to go home.
"Okay. Now we can go."
When they made it to her car, Riley could tell Lucas was bothered by something in the way he slammed her door. When he turned to her and eyed her sternly, she knew she had been successful in pissing him off.
If his eyes weren't on her, she would've smirked.
"You had fun tonight," he remarked.
She nodded, only wanting to upset him. "Of course I did, Zay was the best part of the show."
"Yeah that was kind of hard to miss. You didn't let me forget it."
"You should be glad you didn't do it, he would've embarrassed you. Like not trying to be rude or anything, but he's more talented than you. For sure."
"Is he now?" Lucas asked, dryly.
Riley nodded. "You don't have the range, baby."
He looked out his window, releasing a loud yet clear scoff.
"You sound upset," she noted with the slightest bit of interest. She rounded the corner and turned onto a different street before looking at him.
"Yeah, Riley, I kind of fucking am!"
"So, the usual. You know at this point I just need to stare at a guy for you to complain about it," she snarled.
He scratched the back of his head, "You realize Zay won because I wasn't apart of the show, right? That's the only reason."
Riley didn't care. Zay winning provided the perfect opportunity to make Lucas' mad.
"Why'd you cheer him on like that?" he asked. "What was the reason?"
"Why does it bother you so much - ?"
"Why does it bother me?" he parroted as if saying it twice would make more sense to him. "It bothers me because you've been acting single all night!"
"What are you talking about?"
He sighed at his girlfriend's naivety. "The only guy you should be cheering on like that is me. Otherwise it sends the wrong message."
She laughed "That's your concern. You're literally the only guy I know that would get mad at his girlfriend for cheering on another guy. Literally! And it's so fucking annoying."
"Annoying?"
"Yes. Annoying!"
"You want to know what's annoying? Having to stay an hour after school to make up for a grade that you dropped! That's what's annoying!"
"Now that I think about I'm doing you a favor," she said to him. "There's no way you were on track to graduate after the grades you were pulling."
"That's for me to worry about, all right? I can take care of my grades -"
"Really? Then why'd you ask me to help you that one time? You know when we got caught cheating, and we both got zeros on our test and got sent to detention. Or when you asked me to raise your Chemistry grade a few weeks ago?"
"I knew you'd bring that shit up! And why does it matter anymore if I did those things, you dropped my grade back down. You know what, now that we're talking about it how much did I really get on that test you said I failed? Huh?"
She didn't say anything.
"Oh, so now you wanna be quiet? Now you're mute."
"Well, since we want to know things now, how's Zuri?" she questioned, her intention wasn't to get mad, that was something she was trying to do to him, but his remarks had upset her too. "I haven't heard from her in a while is she still sending you pictures of her boobs?"
Instinctively, Lucas punched her dashboard.
And now that she had gotten a reaction out of him, she wasn't sure it was something she wanted anymore. Lucas had never gotten mad at something they were arguing about and felt the need to punch something. This was the first time, she'd ever seen him like this and she didn't like it.
But for some reason, some unknown reason, she still wanted to get him angry. "A B-."
"What are you talking about?"
"That was your grade," she said to him.
Lucas paused for a long second. He shifted his attention back to her and murmured a few words before yelling, "Fuck, Riley! A fucking B-! That's the highest grade I've ever gotten in that class! I spent the entire night studying for that test! And you chose that day to fuck me up?"
Hearing him yell at her like this reminded her of the guilt she felt a few days ago when her dad was getting her in trouble for what she had done. The guilt made her want to curl in a ball and hide under her blankets, she felt the need to cry, but she only hated him more for having that effect on her.
"You shouldn't have gotten us caught."
He took a deep breath, "That's just low, Riley!"
She stopped the car in front of her apartment and turned to him. She had been so busy arguing with him that she missed the turn to his house and drove to hers instead. But she decided to use that against him. "Well if it bothers you so much why don't you drive your ass home?"
"Hey! Hey, where you going?" he exclaimed as she got off her car. "Riley! You know I can't." Since Principal Butler called his parents to tell them about Lucas' grades, they grounded him and took away his keys. Which is why Riley drove him to the show. "Riley, it has to be a thirty-minute walk! You're really gonna do that to me?"
"Maybe it'll give you some time to actually think about why I did what I did," she revealed, "You seem to forget that."
Staring at her from the inside of her car, Lucas had taken a different perspective on their argument. He felt like someone staring at their relationship from the outside in and it was much easier to pinpoint their flaws.
His relationship with Riley had always come with its share of unnecessary conflict. She enjoyed testing his boundaries and fell in awe of the way she could make him react, whether it was good or bad. Despite his protests she had brought to light and attacked every one of his insecurities, she criticized his morality and personality and questioned his integrity. She did this so much so he'd eventually give up and take them on as part of his new identity. She was cruel when she wanted to be and Lucas understood that because she knew him so well, she'd be the only one capable of breaking his heart.
He decided to get out the car and chase after her. Their unresolved conflict couldn't go unhandled.
He made it to her apartment and stepped inside without knocking. Riley had mentioned to him before that her parents weren't home so he felt safe enough to do the gesture.
"Lucas, get out of my house."
"No. We're not done talking."
"Well, I am. Now, get out."
He didn't budge. Instead he just crossed his arms and stared at her. "I'm not leaving."
"Fine! Then just stand there looking like an idiot, I'm going to my room."
"Why are you doing this? he asked. "If I were Zay would you be walking away from me like this?"
She stopped in her tracks, "First of all, chill the fuck out with the Zay comments. Why do you keep doing that? What's your problem with him?"
He didn't say anything. "I don't got no problem."
"Yeah, I don't believe you." Lucas had made it obvious. That was the thing she hated the most, he didn't try to hide his anger or his jealousy. He was the type of person to show his emotions to intimidate other people. She noticed that earlier today when she was talking to Zay. "You know what, Lucas, I don't even want to talk to you."
She started heading for the front door.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving."
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, you're not leaving," he said getting in the way of the door. "We're not done talking."
"Yes. We are. I'm done, this argument's over." She turned for her room.
"No, not until I say I am. Reacting on impulse, Lucas reached for her arm and spun her around. "You're not leaving!"
She stared down venomously at the hand holding her hostage. She squirmed in his grasp as she attempted to pull her arm back, but he refused. "Lucas, LET me go!"
"No, we're not done talking!" he informed, raising his voice. When he realized what he had done he took a deep breath, "Riley, we said we wouldn't leave angry. You made a promise, remember?."
"That was before you started acting like an asshole. I'm not gonna keep doing this anymore. If you're not going to act right then I don't want to talk to you."
She tried to leave once again, but he wouldn't let her. She huffed in frustration as she jerked her arm left and right to free herself, but she couldn't. "If you don't let go, I'm gonna scream."
He tensed almost immediately if she screamed she'd attract unnecessary attention and possibly alert her neighbors. "I'll let go," he reassured, his words were a white flag waving high. He hated that he'd grabbed her in the first place, but he really wanted her to stay. The second she was free she would walk out on him and refuse to talk to him and he didn't want that. "But I'm gonna need you to calm down first."
"You're gonna need me to calm down?" she parroted, even angrier than before.
He took a deep breath realizing he had only made it worse. Riley was generally a very humble and gentle person, but she was also capable of leaning into violent territory if she had the right moment. And it seemed like any given argument with him would justify her reactions. That was enough to make him let go of her arm and take a step back, his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry."
She glared at him menacingly before releasing a sigh, taking a moment to calm herself down. She felt an overwhelming sensation to yell at him and to throw things at him, but she didn't want to dwell on that feeling for too long, she didn't like it, especially when it was directed at the person she loved the most.
"Can we please talk?" he insisted, almost like he was begging her.
She stared daggers in his direction and she could tell that he had gotten the message, he seemed resigned and doubtful, and she was tempted to walk away. She hated that he couldn't understand how upset she was, it was like every day he made a mistake and failed to understand the severity of his actions.
She refrained from doing what she truly wanted to do and nodded.
"Thank you," he said as she took a step back and regained her composure.
"Yeah, well," she began, brushing down her shirt from her hands, "This is my house. You're the one that needs to leave."
"After we talk."
When she glanced up to see him and she stared at his pitiful expression, Riley realized she couldn't do it. Arguing with him brought out the worst in her and she couldn't control herself. "Fine, you want to talk, Lucas? Can we finally talk about it? Can-can we finally talk about Zuri? Victoria? Um, let's see that one girl Emilia or whatever her name was you told me to stay away from. Yeah, we spoke a few days ago, she told me about the messages. Or let's talk about Zay? Yeah, let's talk about how he's your best friend but for some reason you don't want him near me! Yeah I know about that too! Let's talk about you snitching me out to my parents for doing the shit you do! How's that joint you were smoking earlier? Do you want to talk about your dad too? Is he giving you a hard time?"
By the time Riley had made her way down to the comment about his dad, she had hit every nerve and broken any kind of resolution. Their chances of making up were far beyond reach and all he could bring himself to do was cover his eyes so she wouldn't see him cry.
"I really wish you hadn't fucked up so many times," she continued. "You know I used to blame myself for the way you would act. I would feel like I wasn't enough for you to change and that I was the reason you kept breaking my heart, but after all this time, all this arguing, and all this crying, I've realized that this is all you. It's always been you who has fucked up."
He looked down at the ground, his gleaming eyes failing to meet hers. The corners of his mouth fell. His emerald eyes had gone dark, as fading to gray. Seeing him this way made her physically ache, but in the middle of their argument she refused to succumb to it. She'd know he'd be upset, but she never imagined the hopeless expression on his face. Never would she have thought to hold such power over someone, especially not someone like him. But there it was. She had finally won and took absolutely no joy in the victory. "Now get out of my house."
ooo
An hour after Lucas was gone and her parents were back home, Riley was in her room working on her homework assignments. She was listening to music trying to forget everything that happened with Lucas, but nothing seemed to get her mind off him. She made him cry by pointing out his wrongdoings and it seemed to have a similar effect on her.
She'd never intentionally been so rude to anyone before, but him, and it was coming back to bite her. Before she could get lost in thought, her mom walked inside her room and sat beside her. "Hey, just checking in on you. How was the show?"
"Good. Yeah, it was good. I had a lot of fun," the brunette had no intention in telling her the truth. "How was dinner?"
"It was fine for the most part, but your brother didn't like his food. So we had to drive him to Popeyes. You know how he is?"
She laughed.
"Working on your homework, I assume."
"Yeah. Here I am using the Pythagorean Theorem to save my grade. Had nothing better to do."
"I'm so glad you never asked us for help on your homework," she said caressing her daughter's cheek, "You got your intelligence from me. Auggie, on the other hand, takes after his father."
They both chuckled at the joke, "Hey can I ask you something."
She turned to her mom, "Yeah. Go for it."
"The neighbors called, they told me that there was a lot of arguing coming from our apartment. I wasn't home so I didn't know what they were talking about but I was wondering if you did?"
She looked at her mom and realized she couldn't lie to her. She knew that after all the tension that had been passed around with her parents it was best if she told the truth...well at least part of it.
"Lucas and I got into an argument, mom. But it was no big deal we worked everything out."
"An argument?" she asked intently, "Did this argument have anything to do with what happened a few days ago?"
She was hesitant, but she nodded. "Yeah. We thought we could ignore it and move on from it, but we were wrong. It wasn't helping and we started arguing about it, but we're okay now. We worked things out. You don't need to worry about it, mom."
"Are you sure, sweetie? I mean...this stuff is heavy. It's intense."
"Yeah, mom. We're okay. Trust me Lucas and I can recover from anything."
"Okay," she nodded, standing up from her daughter's bed. "I trust you. Lights out by 11:30, okay?"
"Okay. Got it!"
ooo
When Zay got home from a night out with his friends, the first thing he did was play videogames. It was his favorite part about a long day; the second he touched his couch, his fingers on the game control, he dozed off into a different world.
A world that made up for the one he was currently living.
He thought it was the perfect distraction, aside from school being consuming so was planning for his life outside of school. He was committed to NYU and hoped he could get in, but all that worry was only making his stress.
So video games were his distraction.
Halfway through his game, he heard a knock on his door. "Hang on. Coming." When he opened the door he wasn't expecting to see Lucas. "Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, can I come in?"
He pushed open the door so his friend could walkthrough. Once he was inside, he offered him a game control but he shook his head no. "I actually just wanted to ask you something."
"Ask me what?" Zay inquired, taking a seat on his couch. The last time Lucas had shown up to his house was a few months ago, they were drinking and playing pool, but seeing him standing in his room reminded him of his freshman year when all they did was hang out together.
It was unfortunate that their friendship had fallen off since then.
"When I told you to stay away from Riley, did you?"
Zay knew immediately what the blonde's visit was really about. He was there to talk about Riley and question his actions, "Look, I know how earlier today looked to you, but there's nothing going on between Riley and me. You don't gotta worry about that."
"You see that's not the only thing I'm worried about though," his words rolled off his tongue in a way that let Zay know he was upset, angry even. "Why is she so attached to you, Zay?"
"I don't know what you're talking about..."
"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he parroted, dryly. "Why did she hug you earlier today?"
"I don't know, Lucas. We're friends... friends can hug."
"See there it is," he pointed. "Friends, that word. What the fuck did I tell you a year ago...?"
"Lucas, bro -"
"No, I want to hear you say it. Say it!" he yelled.
"Aye, bro, you gotta go. We're not doing this-"
"I told you to stay the hell away from her...so you guys wouldn't be friends. I didn't want her fucking with you so why is she fucking with you right now?"
He refused to answer the question. Doing so would only be feeding into his anger and he didn't want that. He knew how Lucas got when he was angry, he'd seen it ever since they were little. Lucas was intolerable.
"Get out -" Zay said heading for the door, but stopped when Lucas interrupted him.
"Do you still like her?" he asked, smacking his friends head around. "Huh? Is that - is that why you can't stay away from her?"
"Ayye. C'mon now. Bro," another smack hit the side of his head. "Lucas, chill!"
"Answer the fucking question, Zay! Do you still like her?"
His glare spoke a different language to him and it was in that moment Zay realized he was tired of it. He couldn't put up with Lucas anymore. He's put up with his anger, his hostility, and abusiveness for years, but he couldn't anymore. It was too much for him. "You know what, you gotta go! Get out."
"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to leave when we're in the middle of a fucking argument. I'm not going anywhere. Answer the fucking question, Zay!"
"I'm not answering, shit! Now get out of my room."
"Nah!"
"Lucas, I'll clock you," he stated menacingly.
"Do...you...fucking...like her...?" Lucas worded it out as if he was talking to someone who couldn't understand him.
Why did he feel so intimidated by the person standing in front of him?
Lucas could be the nicest person in existence if he wanted to be, Zay had seen him use his strength to defend the weak and lose lipped, but he'd also been the bully. He'd been the person who used their own abilities to torment and belittle those powerless to help themselves.
"Yeah, I still do! I still like her." He confessed. "So what now? What's up? What you gon' do?" Saying those words were like detonating a bomb and Lucas reacted just as Zay thought he would. He glanced down to see the blonde curling his hands into fists.
And without thought, he reached out to grab his childhood friend by the front of his shirt and slammed his back on his bedroom floor. Striking the first blow to the center of his chest before he worked his way up to his face. His eyes were wild, his expression angry. He must've hit him ten times or more, only stopping when he realized there was blood on his knuckles.
When he looked down at his friend, he could see all the cuts and bruises he caused. He was still tempted to continue but had already caused enough damage.
Once he was done, he stood up, sucking in his wheezing breaths, "I told you not to talk to her!" he yelled, before spitting on his floor and walking out his room.
If this happened under a different circumstance, there was a chance he would've regretted what he did, but he didn't. He told Zay to stay away from her a year ago and he hadn't, and that was all the reasoning he needed to do what he did.
But he was sure this would do the job. It always worked before, even when they were younger. Lucas would tell Zay to stop doing something, he wouldn't, he'd hit him, and then he'd stop. It was a repetitive cycle. This was just the first time he'd ever taken his anger out on him like that.
This was the first time Riley had ever been involved in one of their arguments and he got carried away. But this was the reason he was always so angry when Zay was around Riley because he knew Zay had feelings for her. He did ever since he was little, and he was gonna take any chances just in case Zay acted on those feelings.
But now he didn't need to worry about that, he was sure he'd stay away from her, just like he told him to.
oOoOoOoOo
A/N: I'm sorry if the chapter seems like I ended it abruptly. Truth is, I cut it short because if I continued it, it would stretch a little too long for my liking. I feel like after everything that has happened you guys deserve a break. A lot will happen in the next chapter especially with Zay and Riley so stick around for that. The second part will continue onto the next chapter which will be posted next week.
I hinted at the top of the A/N that I needed to tell you guys something important and I do. Truth is, Lose You to Love Me will be my last fanfic on FF. I will transfer my writing onto Wattpad and that's where I will continue to do my work (where I have a lot more stories planned). I've been wanting to do this for a while and I feel like now is the perfect opportunity. I've been writing on here for four years now and it's time to move on. I dedicated this account strictly for GMW and I feel like over on Wattpad I will have a more creative technique where I can write my own fanfics and stories. I love writing and I love growing as a writer so I'm excited what that journey holds. I will finish LYTLM then that will be the last of me. Thank you to everyone for reading this story it has truly made my day.
For those of you who want to follow me on Wattpad my username is: inherelement. Hope to see you there.
Take care, ya'll.
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