An incessant trilling made Max grumble in her sleep. The noise went off again ten minutes later, dragging her out of blissful slumber. Things began to register for Max slowly. First, she was hot. Second, her breathing seemed to be obstructed by tendrils of an unknown matter that tickled every time she inhaled. And third, it was nearly impossible to move with a substantial weight on top and pressed into her side.
The trilling went off for the third time, and Luna's sleepy voice whined and tickled Max's neck, "Maaax, turn it off."
That's when Max remembered that Luna had spent the night, and Dove had joined them. Letting out a puff of annoyed air, Max reached up and smoothed Dove's hair away before blindly reaching for her phone. Blinking to bring the screen to focus, Max dismissed the alarm before letting it fall to the side. Now that she had made one conscious move, Max couldn't fall back asleep. Her mind wouldn't let her, but that didn't mean she had to get up right this minute.
Instead, she wrapped her free arm around Dove and hugged her closer to her chest. She would have pulled Luna closer, but her arm was dead from Luna sleeping on it all night long. She thought to why they were both sharing a bed with her. Today was the day she and Becca were flying to Virginia. Everything had been packed and loaded onto trucks the day before yesterday. Her car and motorcycle had already left and would be there by the time they arrived.
Max let out a soft sigh as a well of sadness built within her chest. Everything she had was on its way to Virginia, leaving echoes behind. No longer would she burn hours playing music or games, or in her lab in the place she had called home for the last three years though home was selective. The house across the yard had been her home for thirteen years. A home that, as she looked back, had held very little happiness within its walls. Though this house and within its walls, Max had found happiness. She had found love. And courage. And strength. And support.
But most importantly, she had found a family. A family that had given her everything she needed to heal and come out stronger. They had dragged her out of the darkness and kept Max from falling back within its depths when life grew hard.
But now, she was leaving all of that behind. And it scared her. It frightened her to no end that she would never have that sense of family again. That sense of home. Max worried that this had been it. That these last three years were her one moment of goodness. She worried that finding out what her parents had done was the beginning of the end. That they would somehow drag her down into the depths of hell with them.
Dove let out a whimper, dragging Max out of her spiraling thoughts, and she immediately loosened her hold of the girl.
"Shh. Sorry, ai prisa," Max whispered, laying a kiss on brunette locks.
"Max," Luna mumbled as she inhaled deeply and then leaned back to look at her. "Everything alright?"
Max closed her eyes briefly, trying to calm her mind, before truthfully answering, "I'm getting lost in my head. I'm scared, Lu."
That woke Luna up immediately, and she propped herself on her elbow to look Max directly in the eyes. Searching and finding the fear evident in Max's pale blue-green eyes and the tautness of her face. Reaching out slowly, she gently moved Max's hair off her face and smiled down softly at the girl.
"It's alright to be scared, Max," Luna softly intoned, keeping her voice calm and soothing. "Change is scary. But you can't let it control you. Remember when we were applying for the magnet programs? We were so nervous about not getting in or not being at the same school. It was even more nerve-wracking because we were both transferring to the public schools, and it was after everything had settled. And no one could calm us down. Not until your sponsor said something that strummed true. Do you remember what she said?"
Max slowly nodded and whispered, "Change is inevitable and uncontrollable. We are only capable of controlling ourselves. We decide what to do about change. We adapt and move forward. Or we stay stagnant and fall behind. It takes more courage and strength to take a step forward than it does to stand still in the face of fear."
Luna beamed down at her friend, "That's right. And that night, we vowed that no matter what, we would take that step forward. We'd always move forward. Never back. Now's not the time to fall back, Max. Ever since you found out about the companies and the guardianship, you have been continuously moving forward. It may have been a little hesitant and occasionally resembled a drunk man, but it's always been forward."
Max lightly chuckled but then sobered, "What if it doesn't feel like home, Lu? What if I lose my family without my family there? What if I can't be happy? What if…what if the darkness finds me again?"
"What if it does feel like home," Luna countered. "What if you gain a family? What if you are so happy you feel like you're on top of the world? What if the darkness never finds you again? Max, we don't know the future, and it's useless to ponder the what-ifs. You know this. Hell, you've lectured Artie on this subject countless times."
Max sighed heavily and ran a hand down Dove's back to reassure herself, "I know you're right, Lu."
"Of course, I am," Luna smirked.
Max rolled her eyes, "Whatever. It's just that when I think of home, I think of moments like this. Waking up with Dove on top of me or you stuck to my side. And I realized that I won't ever have moments like this again. Or if I do, it won't be Dove at age three. It won't be my best friend that's given me a dead arm from sleeping on it all night. This right here, this moment, is the culmination of sixteen years of my life. This moment is both the happiest and saddest I have ever experienced. Because I get to spend it with the two people, I treasure most in this world, and I can't take you with me."
"Oh, Max," Luna cried tearfully and leaned down to hug her with Dove in the middle.
Max moved her arm to hug Luna while she wiggled her other arm to get feeling back in it. They laid like that for about two minutes before Dove began to squirm and whine that she couldn't breathe. Luna wetly chuckled as she leaned back, and Max quickly removed her now tingly arm before Luna could lay on it again.
"Morning, strikon," Max softly spoke, stroking the girl's hair away from her face.
"You talk too much, Tia," Dove grumbled, wiping her face on Max's shirt before snuggling into her further.
"Moba, ai prisa," Max apologized. "I was thinking too loud."
"Well, stop. I was asleep," Dove replied.
"I'll try," Max replied with a chuckle. "But, it's time to get up, Mija."
"Why," Dove whined as she tried to snuggle into Max's chest and earning chuckles from the girls.
"Because the sun is up, prisa," Luna told her, brushing fingers through the girl's hair. "And Max has to get up and get ready."
The little girl shifted her head to adorably glare at Max, "Why, Tia?"
"Because ai strik gona (my little warrior), I leave today," Max replied, rubbing a hand down the girl's back soothingly.
"No," Dove cried, hugging Max tighter. "No, leave! Stay!"
Max sighed, "I have to, Dove. Aunt Becca needs to go home, and I have to go with her."
"No! Stay," the little girl pouted.
Max scooted until she was resting her back against the headboard with Dove still clinging to her and Luna sitting beside them. Max soothed the little girl as she cried and shared a heartbreaking look with Luna. No one wanted Max to leave, but the choice had been made, and they all had to stick with it.
When Dove had calmed down to sniffles, Max said as gently as she could, "Dove, baby, do you remember that talk we had? About how when Mommies and Daddies go away, and they have kids?"
"Uh-huh," Dove sniffled and looked at Max with tear-filled chocolate brown eyes.
Max wiped the remains of tears from Dove's face as she continued, "And remember I told you that my mom and dad picked Aunt Becca and Uncle Gustus to take care of me. That means I go and live with them."
"But they live far," Dove whined as she started to trace an imaginary line on Max's arm.
"I know, Mija," Max sadly replied. "But it doesn't mean that we won't ever see each other again. I'll be able to visit, and you can visit me. In fact, your mommy and I were talking about you coming to visit me before Christmas. We might get to see snow. Doesn't that sound cool?"
"Snow," Dove asked, sitting up and looking at Max in surprise.
Max nodded, smiling, "Yeah. It snows where I will be living. And Aunt Becca and Uncle Gustus have a big house. Bigger than this one. And if it snows, we can build snowmen and find a hill to go sledding down. Doesn't that sound fun, Mija?"
Dove nodded enthusiastically, making the older girls laugh.
"You know there's only one way for us to see snow, Dove," Max told the girl.
"How," the little girl innocently asked.
"I have to leave with Aunt Becca," Max solemnly replied. "That's the only way we can play in the snow when it comes in a few months."
"Months," Dove dramatically whined and flopped against Max. "That's so far!"
"It is, but you and Tia Mitchie are going to be so busy that time will zoom right past you," she said with a smile.
"We're going to be busy," Dove asked, looking at her suspiciously.
Max nodded, "Yep. You're going to have too much fun putting your new home together. You'll get to pick the colors for the walls, the stuff for each room, and you get to pick where everything goes in your new room. You'll have lots and lots of fun doing all that."
Dove bounced a little in excitement, "Really?"
"Really," Max replied with a grin. "And you can send me pictures. I want lots and lots of pictures of your new home."
"Okay," Dove said with a determined nod of her head.
"Good. Now that's settled, how 'bout if Luna helps you get ready while I get ready," Max asked. "And then we can all go downstairs and make breakfast together. One last time. How does that sound?"
At the mention of breakfast, Dove's stomach lets out the cutest sound, and all three girls look down.
Dove pokes her stomach and then looks at Max and as serious as a three-year-old could be, said, "My tummy says its time for pancakes and bacon with lots and lots of syrup."
"Does it now," Luna replied with a grin as she picks the little girl off Max. "Well, then I think we better hurry so that Max can make us pancakes and bacon with lots AND lots of syrup."
"Hey," Max indignantly huffed as she got out of bed, "why do I have to make breakfast?"
"Because you make the bestest and yummiest pancakes ever, Tia Max," Dove cried out jubilantly and threw her arms out wide. "And Lu-Lu burns them."
"I do not, you little brat," Luna replied, bouncing the now giggling girl in her arms.
"Sha, you do, ai lukot," Max laughed.
"Jok of," Luna growled.
"Language," Max scolded as she walked to the bathroom.
"Whatever," Luna huffed as she walked out of the bedroom.