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Chapter Twenty

Ethel's Secret

Ethel took a deep breath as she prepared to reveal her deepest secret to her sisters.

"Yes I was attacked the same way as Sybil, it was at one of mum and dad's parties, I didn't feel too well and had a headache so I went to lie down in my room, only someone followed me, I don't know who he was, there were thousands of people at that party" Ethel sighed as she remembered.

"I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to admit what had happened so I decided to keep it to myself...only then things took another turn" Ethel went on closing her eyes as she relived it.

"What do you mean?" Sybil asked her confused.

"I was throwing up, I used spells to stop it and after a few weeks it went away by itself, I thought it was just a bug and I didn't think much of it, until about two months later, I was lying on my bed when I felt something kick me...and I realised it was coming from my stomach" Ethel admitted. Esmie burst into tears and Sybil gasped.

"You were pregnant but...I never saw you pregnant" the girl replied confused.

"I realised then my situation, I knew it was too late to have an abortion even if I wanted too, which I didn't, I knew mum and dad would flip the roof so I used potions and spells to conceal it, telling you didn't enter my head because I was in denial, I thought somehow I could hide it and no-one would ever know, plus I didn't believe it myself" Ethel admitted as her sisters looked at her in horror.

"Only, of course, it was impossible to hide forever because I started having pains, I was full-term so I was obviously in labour, I planned to take myself off to the hospital and have the baby but I didn't get the chance, mum had seen how shifty I was at dinner, one time she noticed something, and she entered the room as I was in the middle of a contraction, I told her not to yell at me or punish me now, I needed medical help, she called dad and they discussed it but realised if anyone saw them their reputation would be through the mud, so they called one of their old friends who were in the medical field, shipped you two off to an aunt we hadn't seen since I was born and with no prying eyes I had the baby" Ethel admitted tears falling down her cheeks.

Esmie sobbed her heart out because her sister had had to give birth alone, young and scared, well not alone but the people there would have cared about nothing but sorting the situation as quickly as possible. Ethel had regretted not telling her sisters but she had just been in such denial until her pains had started she had convinced herself she wasn't pregnant.

"What happened to the baby?" Sybil asked realising that was the strange part of the story Ethel had no baby with her. Ethel cried louder at that question.

"It was a girl, I was so scared of seeing the baby because I was scared I would hate it, but the opposite happened, I fell in love instantly, perfect little blonde curls of hair, big eyes, big enough to hold but not so big it stopped you cuddling her, they let me hold her but made me talk as I did so, I told them I was attacked, I have no idea if they believed that but then they told me regardless I would have to give the baby up for adoption, I refused even when they said they would check the family out themselves and make sure the baby will be safe, I remember crying and crying, I didn't want to give her up" Ethel cried into her knees at this point.

"But they made you?" Esmie asked but was surprised when Ethel shook her head.

"After a few hours I felt really tired and groggy and I fell asleep, when I woke up she was gone, I yelled at them and screamed at them but they told me that she hadn't been adopted, when I had been asleep she had run into some breathing difficulties and they hadn't been able to save her, she passed away" Ethel replied and sobbed so hard she was struggling to breathe in that moment herself, now all three of them were crying their eyes out.

"They wouldn't let me put a name on her tombstone, but I go visit sometimes, they have some unmarked ones which helps" Ethel replied through her sobs until she finally made herself sick. Sybil hugged her tightly.

"Mum and dad told me to never breathe a word to anyone, I was scared of what they would do and now Sybil is pregnant I couldn't say anything for the fear of what they would do" Ethel replied wiping her mouth after she was sick.

"Ethie, oh no wonder you ran, how did you go on with this secret?" Esmie asked her.

"I didn't I pushed everyone away, hurt people and turned nasty to try to forget and push the pain away, only it didn't help, I still miss her and not allowed to talk about her like she was nothing hurts" Ethel admitted. Everyone looked at each other with tears down their faces, not knowing what to say to one another.

"Did you give her a name?" Esmie asked knowing Ethel and knowing she wouldn't be referring to her daughter as 'the baby'. Ethel nodded

"Prudence, I knew as soon as I saw her I liked Prudence, Prue for short" Ethel replied having called her that since the start. She was never off her mind.