Be Still My Beating Heart – Sting

Okay, so I promised that the last chapter was going to be E/O, and it was not. So here is my E/O chapter I promised. I hope you enjoy it.

After Olivia came back from Oregon, things seemed different. Olivia had changed, nothing you could see by the naked eye, and not if you didn't know her well enough, but it changed her. Elliot had too had changed navigating his personal life without her, it was frustrating. His best friend was gone, not just for a few days but for weeks, and it was a big-time in his life, single once again. He wasn't sure how to go through the motions. He kissed Danni Beck like an idiot. He wished she was Liv. It was an odd feeling to kiss the lips of another woman that wasn't Kathy, but it wasn't what he wanted, and he instantly regretted it. Now Olivia was back, his heartbeat wildly when he saw her. He had always admitted she was attractive, she was younger, not much, but young enough to notice. She was his partner, his best friend, and although he saw her beauty, he'd never thought of a romantic relationship with her, even when Kathy had assumed it multiple times. Now that she had returned, little "what if" thoughts floated through his mind as she sat across from him.

He wanted nothing more than to tell her about the changing feeling in his mind, and in his heart, he's told her everything else. One night they were both working late, Elliot began staring her not on purpose but he in the middle of daydream involving the both of them.

"El?" Olivia asked, but he was totally zoned out. She laughed at him and flicked a pencil on his forehead.

He felt the pencil hit his head and shook out of it and smiled at her.

"Sorry," Elliott claimed.

Olivia laughed.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, fine," Elliott exclaimed.

"So you about to done here?" Olivia asks.

"Yeah," Elliot claims.

"Come get a drink with me?" Olivia asks.

Elliot looked at her funny. It was the first time in the weeks she'd been back, she had asked. They usually didn't go to the bar alone together, didn't want to feed the fire with Kathy. Still, every once in a while, when the mood struck, especially after a hard case, Elliot and Olivia would sit at the bar together and talk about nothing. They didn't really have an excuse this time, but there wasn't a need to have one anymore. Elliot agreed, and they found their way to a frequented bar. They went for a table and decided that they both needed some dinner. The whole night Elliot wondered if he should tell her his feelings, but there was no reason to explain it, and then lose her. He couldn't bear losing her again. So his feelings went untold, despite the race in his chest when her hands touched his reaching for her drink. His face reddened, but Olivia didn't say anything. The two sat in a comfortable silence until their food came out, and instead of eating, they talked about Elliot's kids, and some vague things about the time while she was away. She had heard about Danni Beck, nothing wonderful, and her run-ins with her would be far from what she called pleasant. Elliot said they got along well enough. She'd rather not think about that time away.

When their food is done, Elliot insisted on getting the check.

"I invited you, El, you pay next time," Olivia claimed.

"You walking?" Olivia asked

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Elliot claimed.

Liv nodded, and they went their separate ways for the night.

Elliot got home, not wanting to play this game with his heart. He was frustrated with himself, his body, his mind. The thought of Olivia now conjured up images he felt guilty for having. He tried to read, to get his mind off of her, but she was the only thing in his mind.

"You're a sinking ship," Elliot told himself, before finally falling asleep.

The next morning he didn't feel any better, wishing that dinner with Olivia was a regular thing. Wishing he was spending his time with her instead of alone. He got ready for the morning and went into the office. Olivia, as usual, beat him there, a smile to greet him. He smiled too and hoped he could get through another day without telling her his secret.

It had been 3 months since he admitted the feelings he had of Olivia to himself. They had gotten back into the grove of partners and friends. He didn't want to screw it up. He knows he has the worse at timing. His heart ached when Olivia admitted she had a date a few weeks prior, but she didn't say anything more about the guy, and Elliot prayed that she didn't like him.

It was a Friday night, and it was their weekend off.

"Any plans this weekend?" Elliot asked.

"Catch up on the laundry." Olivia smiled.

Elliot smiled.

"Me too." Elliot agreed his dry cleaning was stacked up, and he probably had 3 loads worth of other clothes.

Olivia laughed.

"We need to get a life," Olivia admitted.

"Yeah, well." Elliott teased.

"How about you and I go do something this weekend unless you have the kids," Olivia claimed.

"Mmm, I do have the kids Saturday, but they've been going to church with Kathy on Sundays, and I just haven't felt like going," Elliott admitted.

Olivia looked up at him.

"You haven't been going?" Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded his head no.

"Go, El," Olivia claimed.

"I can't, it's too weird, awkward. Even though the divorce was mutual, well, you know, I've been played out to be the villain. I tried, and it wasn't Kathy, damn Kathy had defended me at my own church." Elliot claimed.

Olivia sighed.

"Alright, so pick a new place, and I'll go with you," Olivia claimed.

"You'll go with me to church?" Elliott asked.

"What you think I'll catch fire?" Olivia joked.

"No! I, thanks, Liv. I used to go to one here in Manhattan, but when Kathy and I bought the house in Queens, we went out there. Maybe going back home won't be such a bad thing." Elliot admitted.

"K, just text me the place, and depending on the location we'll meet at whose ever apartment is closest," Olivia claimed.

Elliot thought the whole plan as odd, but he accepted.

Sunday morning came, and Olivia met Elliot Sunday morning, in a dark green dress, and nude flats. She had pearl earrings in her ears, and the same necklace she always wore.

"Thanks for coming with me," Elliot stated.

"Partners." Olivia smiled.

They get to the steps of the church, it was crowded, but someone immediately recognizes Elliot. Elliot's smiling, and when asking about Kathy, the smile fades. He admits the divorce and looks down, but the elderly woman smiles brightly at him.

"We all make mistakes, you just got to dust yourself off and stand up again. Speaking of is this your new wife?" The lady asked.

Olivia smiles at the woman but doesn't say anything.

"She's my partner, my work partner. I'm a cop." Elliott explains.

"Still a detective, well, it doesn't take one to see you love her." The lady claims.

Elliot and Olivia blush.

"I do, very much," Elliot admitted.

Olivia smiled leaned into him.

The bells start to ring, and they shuffle inside, the older lady that finally introduced herself as Mrs. Leigh helped with the youth group when Elliot was in high school.

Olivia surprised Elliot, knowing the rituals. She did not receive communion, she didn't pray out loud. She was out of her element here. She had grown up in out of different churches. Usually, after her mom was found to be a drunk, they'd go somewhere new.. There were long gaps in her attendance. She hadn't regularly gone to church since she was 17, but sitting in pews and listening to someone go on about the bible had somehow comforted her. Maybe it was the droning voice, or perhaps it was the candlelight. Maybe it was the way Mrs. Leigh would lean over and give her 2 cents to Elliot every now and again.

When service finally concluded, Mrs. Leigh pulled Elliot around, showing all the people who would have remembered him as a boy that he had come back. Olivia smiled every time one of the ladies hugged him. Mrs. Leigh would whisper about the divorce. There was a quick frown but seemed to be sadness. They all welcomed Elliot back lovingly.

Olivia had tried to sneak away a few times, but Elliot grabbed her hand just as Mrs. Leigh did his own and pulled her around the entryway of the church almost for an hour.

Elliot was beginning to think a work call would be nice about now, but it didn't happen.

Finally, after Elliot claimed that he had something cooking at home and he didn't want it to burn, Mrs. Leigh let Elliot and made him promise to come back next week.

They walked down the block, and Olivia started laughing.

"Look at Mr. Popular," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, Yeah." Elliot shrugged it off.

"So, what's burning at your apartment?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

Elliot just eyeballed her.

"So," Elliot claimed.

"So, after that, I think you owe me lunch," Olivia claimed.

"I do, do I?" Elliot asked.

"Yes," Olivia confirmed.

They walked down the street to one of their favorite restaurants and enjoyed a meal. Neither wanted to separate.

"Come back to my place?" Elliot asked.

Olivia smiled. "Sure."

When they make it to his apartment, Olivia looks around.

"Did you not bother to learn how to clean?" Olivia asked.

The dishes were piled up, the floor hadn't been swept, well ever if Olivia had to guess. There was laundry piled up, but what she assumed was the bedroom.

"The kids came by yesterday and caused most of this," Elliot claimed.

"Sorry, El, I forgot," Olivia claimed.

"It's a lot faster if two people clean." Elliott hinted.

"Oh, no way Stabler, I'm not touching your dirty laundry." Olivia proclaimed.

Elliot was smiling at her.

Olivia wandered over to see the pictures of his kids.

"You're so lucky, El," Olivia said, staring at the kids wishing she had one or two of her own.

Elliot was behind her, closer than she thought, and she almost turned directly into him. He stepped back but only a little.

"I know Liv, your time will come," Elliot claims.

"Will it?" Olivia asks.

Elliot sees the hurt in her eyes and pulls her close.

"Yeah, I promise," Elliot claimed.

"Please don't do that," Olivia claimed.

"Do what?" Elliot asked.

"Make promises you can't keep," Olivia stated.

"I'm not," Elliot claimed.

With that, he looked in her eyes and kissed her lips.

Olivia was shocked, utterly speechless, and not that she didn't want this, but this was Elliot Stabler's lips on her lips, and the searing burn was all most too much to handle. She pushed him away quickly.

"El," Olivia warned.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I, we, you don't mean this," Olivia claimed. "You got wrapped up at church and the old ladies and us; we'll talk later, El," Olivia said her hand on the door.

"Liv, please don't run," Elliot stated.

"If this isn't what you want, that's fine, but I can't let you go again," Elliot stated.

Olivia looked up in his eyes.

"You, you've thought about this? How long?" Olivia asks. Her hands now off the doorknob looking for the answers in his eyes.

"Longer than I care to admit," Elliot answered.

Olivia's eyed her partner, knowing he was telling the truth.

"El, you sure about this?" Olivia asked.

"More than anything," Elliot admitted, as he put his lips on hers.