A/N: Writing this story is very interesting because it is very much a free flowing story with no format at all. I finished writing a really short future chapter tonight so now I get to post one. No chapter is the same length because I'm writing according to the vibe I want the chapter to have as a whole. I've never really done that before. I typically have a word count goal and once I hit that I wrap up the chapter. So this is new for me.

Anyway, all of that to say, I hope you guys don't mind that these chapters aren't going to be very uniform, lol. It also means that I have no idea how long this story will be. But considering we're on chapter 20 and this still feels like the beginning of the story to me...I feel like it's gonna be VERY long. Which makes sense considering there's 8 seasons of the show in existence and I'm only rewriting S3 right now.

Yikes, I took on a daunting task, lmao. It'll all be worth it in the end, though. I'm sure.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy! Happy reading!

angellwings

"Who doesn't know what I'm talking about?

Who's never left home, who's never struck out,

To find a dream and a life of their own,

A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone?"

-"Wide Open Spaces" by Dixie Chicks

She was glad Matt volunteered to go with her to meet Gus. She didn't want to go alone but she didn't want to tell Pete her plan either. He probably already thought the worst of her. What kind of first responder suggests killing a patient? There's no way in hell she can ever look him in the eye again. She'd rather pretend they could still be friends. She doubts someone as truly good as Peter Mills would want to keep seeing her after that.

The meeting goes well even if she has no idea what she's doing or what kind of criminal Gus actually is.

Gus says she'll be hearing from him soon and then they part ways. She rides with Matt to the hospital to visit Donna and Chief while they wait for word on little Terrence.

Only two people are allowed in Donna's room at a time so they spend most of the afternoon camped out in the waiting room with a continual rotation of other people from 51. Severide joins her and Matt after they've hung around for a couple of hours and sits in the empty chair next to her. She's sandwiched between both Lieutenants and she can feel them alternating between staring at her and staring at each other.

Finally, Matt speaks.

"So, listen, we know you're beyond capable of looking out for yourself but considering what happened today we thought you might not want to be alone," Matt begins.

Severide nods and takes over. "So, you're welcome to come to our place for the night if you want. I just got off the phone with Shay and she says you're welcome to her room. She'll be calling you in an hour or so, by the way."

She smiles warmly at both of them but shakes her head. "You're very sweet to offer but I shouldn't. Stella's coming over to stay the night and to help me finish packing. I'll be fine."

Matt's brow furrows. "Packing? Where are you going?"

Her eyes widen as she realizes she never told them. Once she found the new apartment she had to act fast. "Oh! With everything that's been going on I forgot to tell you! I found a new place! It's smaller and the interior isn't as nice but it's in Wicker Park! I have movers coming tomorrow morning so I need to have everything packed and ready. I told Shay about it but with her going out of town I guess it got lost in translation."

"Thank God," Kelly says loudly. A few people in the waiting room turn to glare at him but he doesn't notice. "About damn time."

"We're helping," Matt declares decisively. "What time are the movers coming?"

"No, no, no!" She protests. "I'm not telling you to ask for help! I've got it under control. You don't have to—"

"He's right," Severide agrees. Ignoring her completely. "We're helping. If you don't tell us the time then we'll get it out of Stella somehow."

Sylvie snorts derisively and motions from Kelly to Stella. "Be my guest, Severide. Getting the information from Stella would mean you would have to talk to her and since you need practice at that...I'm not telling. You can go ask her."

Matt laughs softly and smirks at him. "You walked right into that, man."

They look across the room at Stella just in time to see her check her phone and heave a sigh. There's a crease between her eyebrows and an angry frown on her face. She stands from her chair and storms out of the room.

"Uh," Kelly stammers with a shake of his head. "Seems like a bad time. Maybe later."

Sylvie feels her lips purse and her eyes narrow as she watches Stella worriedly. "I wonder what that's about?"

"Nothing good," Severide guesses.

Sylvie makes a mental note to ask Kidd about it at her apartment later.

"Do you think you'll need help packing tonight?" Matt asks her.

"No," she replies. "I only have a few more boxes to pack of dishes and things. Unpacking tomorrow will be more of a job. So, if you truly want to help then I'll text you my new address and let you know once they movers are done."

Severide nods even though his gaze is still following Stella. "We're serious. We want to help."

When Stella comes back, Sylvie decides to call it a night. She tells Matt she'll ride with Stella and he should stay.

"Keep me up to date on Baby Boden, okay?" She asks.

He nods. "I will."

On the ride to her apartment, Shay calls. Sylvie spends most of the ride on the phone with her partner assuring her that she's okay. Stella's frustration and temper is simmering under the surface the entire time. Sylvie can tell none of it is directed at her or Shay but it's still distracting. By the time she finishes the phone call they are inside of her apartment with the door locked behind them.

"Thanks for coming to help, Stella," Sylvie says as she leads her back to her kitchen. "And for staying the night. I can't imagine being alone tonight. I don't think I'd sleep a wink."

"Of course," Stella tells her dismissively. "There's no way I'd let you be alone tonight. Not after what you went through today."

Sylvie pauses in front of her fridge and gives Stella a grateful glance. "I'm so glad you came to 51. Really, I've enjoyed getting to know you." She opens the door and points to a stash of bottles in her door. "Wine?"

"God yes," Stella replies emphatically. "Do you have any red?"

"Girl, I have got every kind imaginable. Trust me," Sylvie says with a chuckle.

"I've been enjoying getting to know you too, Sylvie," Stella repeats. "Just FYI."

Sylvie beams at her as she pulls down two glasses and pours generously. "Happy to hear it. Is everything okay? You seem a bit stressed."

"I am stressed," she confesses. "I've been facing some hard truths about my marriage lately, and trying to talk to Grant about it but it's like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall. He won't listen."

Sylvie hands her a glass and nods thoughtfully. "And, of course, if he won't listen then nothing ever changes."

"Exactly. I swear sometimes I feel more like his mother than his wife and he is too damn grown to expect someone to take care of him the way he expects me to. I mean, I feel like all the responsibility is on my shoulders and isn't the point of marriage to share that responsibility?"

It's a rhetorical question. Sylvie can tell she's not expecting an answer.

"And then he gets so pissy if I ever miss a single event with his friends yet he never shows up to anything that has to do with my friends. On top of all of that, the things he accuses me of-I have never once cheated on him yet every time we get in a fight he accuses me of running around on him all the time. And I just...God, I'm sorry to unload all of this on you, but I just can't do it anymore," Stella says before taking a big gulp of her wine and leaning against Sylvie's kitchen counter. "Every day shouldn't be such a struggle and I shouldn't have to give up so much just to keep him. The friends I had before we got married are basically all gone at this point. I've chosen him over them every time until I've pushed everyone away. My entire life outside of 51 is centered around his and I'm tired."

Sylvie steps closer as Stella talks until she's close enough to pull her in for a hug.

"Don't apologize for confiding in me, Stella. I want you to feel comfortable talking to me!" Sylvie assures her. "And of course you're tired! Anyone would be in that situation. I mean, trust me, I've been there. You-you saw Harrison. He wasn't exactly the best choice I ever made."

Stella returns her hug and rests her head on Sylvie's shoulder. "Ugh, this is nice. Being the one receiving the hug instead of giving it is a rare treat for me."

"Well, that won't do," Brett tells her. "Let me know when you need a hug and I'm there."

"Thanks," Stella replies with a quiet chuckle.

The pull apart and Stella idly swirls the wine in her glass for a quiet beat.

"I've been looking at apartment listings," she confesses. "But I've known Grant since I was basically a kid and he's been there for me every day since. How can I-Does leaving him make me a horrible disloyal bitch? He was there for me when I had no one else and a part of me thinks leaving him would be abandoning him when he has no one else."

Sylvie shakes her head adamantly. "No way, Stella. It sounds like you've tried to talk to him and he hasn't even bothered to attempt to listen. I don't know Grant or all the details about your relationship, but I can tell you that I knew Harrison for most of my life. We grew up together. You would think that would mean I knew him better than most but it didn't. It actually meant I was too close to him to see him clearly. It wasn't until I came here and got a bit of distance that I saw him for who he truly was and saw all the ways he twisted me up. Staying is only hurting you and you can't keep hurting yourself to repay him for something that happened years ago. You're not the same kid you were then. You've grown. But maybe he hasn't. Maybe a separation will be good for both of you." She pauses and reaches out to squeeze Stella's shoulder. "You have to do what's right for you. Even when it seems terrifying and difficult."

Stella nods with a pensive expression. "That makes sense," she says. "I get that."

"Sleep on it," Sylvie urges her. "In the meantime, let's get wine drunk and pack up my kitchen. I have color coded storage bins and a new label maker ready to go!"

"Last time I packed while drunk I ended up drawing some pretty explicit penises on my friend's boxes in Sharpie. Are you sure you want to drink wine while we pack?" Stella asks with a wicked grin.

"Hell, yes," Sylvie tells her through a laugh. "Especially if it results in drunken penis art. That sounds hilarious."

Sylvie calls about ten the next morning which turns out to be perfect. He's had some time to sleep in and it gave Severide time to pick up Shay from the airport. She booked a flight home as soon as she heard about Brett and Mills and Baby Boden.

They meet him at Brett's new place. It's a vast improvement. While it won't be photographed for any magazines anytime soon, it certainly looks fifty times more secure than her place in Pilsen. He's not exaggerating when he says himself, Shay, and Severide all simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief on sight.

As soon as the door opens, Shay rushes Brett with a tight hug.

"Partner, I am never taking another furlough ever again! Not unless you come with me so I can keep a fucking eye on you," Shay exclaims. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Sylvie promises, returning Shay's embrace. "Or I will be anyway. Eventually." She looks to Matt and Shay reluctantly releases her. "Any update on Baby Terrence?"

"Not yet," Matt answers. "Last I heard they're still weaning him off the machine, trying to see if he can handle it on his own."

"Poor kid's already been through more than most people and he's not even a week old," Shay says with a worried sigh.

"He's a Boden," Severide says with an encouraging smile. "He was born tough. He'll make it."

"Sev said Stella was with you," Shay said, clearly wanting to focus on something else. "She still here?"

"No, she had to go," Sylvie replies with a concerned expression. "I'm not sure what happened, but she got some sort of message on her phone and then bolted pretty quickly."

"Good thing we showed up when we did then," Matt tells her as he steps around the group to get a good look at the new apartment. "Where do you want to start?"

"I finished unpacking my bedroom and my bathroom already so that just leaves the living room and the kitchen." She glances around the living room for a moment before turning to Casey. "Actually, I have some book shelves and things I need help putting together. You think you can help me with that, Mr. Matt Casey Construction?"

He chuckles and nods. "Piece of cake. Let me go get my tools."

"We'll start on the kitchen then," Shay declares as she grabs Severide's arm and drags him away. "Any particular way you want to organize it?"

"No," Sylvie calls after them. "As long as it makes sense and you can show me what you did before you leave. Considering I've seen you organize the supplies on 61, I know I can trust you so have at it."

They unpack until lunch. They order Thai food from a place nearby. Sylvie pays as a thank you for all their help. She makes a small speech before they eat and he grins fondly at her the entire time. This is the first meal she's had in her new place and she tells them it feels "inexplicably right" to share it with the three of them. The sentiment and her clear regard for them leaves him feeling honored by her friendship in a way he never has before.

After lunch the two of them get to work on the entertainment section of the living room, as Sylvie calls it. She calls it that because it houses her TV, her DVDs, her record player, and her sizable record collection. She's attempting some DIY storage solutions to save herself from money and, to his surprise, his knack for construction comes in handy.

He picks up one of the cheap wooden storage crates she bought and painted and gives her a curious glance. "What were you going to do with these?"

"Stack them I think. Just vertically - here," she says as she motions to the empty wall space next to the small table her record player occupies. "I thought maybe we could anchor them to the wall so they don't topple over."

His eyes narrow on the wall and he presses his lips together, envisioning her suggestion while picturing an idea of his own. He mentally compares the two. If she wants to stack them vertically he will, but he doesn't think that's the most visually appealing use of the space.

"We could do that," he says reluctantly. "Or I could hang them on the wall. With a little space between them. Like those floating shelves we put up by the door?"

Her eyes light up and he can tell she knows immediately what he means. She gasps and excitedly grabs his arm before agreeing. "Yes! Please do that. That is so much better than stacking them! Can you have them floating on either side of the table? Like two on the right and two on the left?"

"Make it symmetrical? Yeah, I can do that."

It'll take up more space but sometimes style is slightly more important than function. Sylvie's record collection seems to be more than just a collection. It's a piece of her personality. It's place in her apartment should represent that. At least he thinks so.

"Oh my God, you are totally my hero right now," Sylvie exclaims with a beaming smile. "I'm so glad you insisted on butting into my business today."

He laughs at her friendly ribbing and nods, smiling back at her just as brightly. "Me too."

Honestly, he is. Despite the manual labor, it's been fun. It's been a long time since he's felt as relaxed as he does right now. Last shift he felt insane and frantic and that carried over into that first day outside of the firehouse, but today feels different. Like a turning point or a new beginning. He's still not sure what his future looks like beyond the job, but he feels comfortable in his own skin again. Considering how low he was just a few weeks ago, he's considering that enough of a win for now.

Time will tell where he goes from here.