Chapter 28 : Leaving

Decisions are always hard to make. That's the hardest part for me. Weighing up all of the options and knowing that I was doing the right thing. I didn't want to live with any regrets. The past few years had taught me that life could end in the blink of an eye or the waving of a wand and I didn't want to waste a moment of it. That's why I didn't want to make a decision that I would come to regret.

This time I knew I wouldn't. People always say to sleep on a decision. That things become clearer in the morning. Well I had slept on it and it was morning and my decision was exactly the same as it had been before. I was staying at Hogwarts.

Harry knew my decision of course, which meant by now Ginny probably knew too. What I didn't know was if Ron knew. The coward in me really hoped that Harry had told him for me and made him understand. Yet deep down I knew that I had to tell him myself, or at least explain it all to him if he already knew, but I had a feeling that it was a conversation that wasn't going to go well no matter what I said.

I had spent all morning building myself up for the conversation, or rather the argument that I suspected we were going to have. I had ran through all the comebacks and explanations that I could give him. I had the whole thing worked out, how I would wait until after breakfast, Ron was always happier when he had just eaten, and then as we were leaving the great hall I would ask him to go for a walk with me and I would break it to him gently. In one of my more fanciful imaginations, he had been very understanding and would say that of course I should stay and that we were best friends again and that he approved of Draco and everyone lived happily ever after. But after all this time I really should have learned not to get my hopes up. Wishful thinking rarely ever worked out well for me.

Instead of the calm and peaceful conversation that I had planned in my head, I emerged from the staircase and into the common room to find Harry, Ginny and Ron waiting for me. You didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce what had happened. The body language and facial expressions said it all. Harry was avoiding looking me in the eye and was shifting around so guiltily I couldn't help but think it was such a good thing he had been on the good side in the war. He was such a rubbish liar and clearly a useless secret keeper he would have been caught straight away had he been a death eater.

Ginny was standing slightly back, clearly observing the situation. Like I had suspected Harry had told her too. She looked half worried about what was going to happen and half intrigued like she couldn't wait to see what was actually going to take place. Ron's face however was surprisingly hard to read. I could tell that he knew all right, but what I couldn't tell was his reaction. Was he going to accept it, be upset, be angry? I waited with baited breath for a moment while the four of us all stood awkwardly staring at each other, no one quite wanting to be the first one to speak and break the uneasy tension in the room.

Eventually I cracked, unable to wait anymore. 'I guess Harry told you then,' I said, throwing Harry a glance that said exactly what I thought of him. He shifted around awkwardly again and seemed to find his shoes oddly fascinating to look at.

'Ron before you say anything and believe me I know exactly what you are going to say, I've heard it all from Harry, this is my decision and this is what I want. Harry and you have always wanted to be aurors, you always talked about it, but I never did. The thrill of the fight was always your thing. I enjoyed solving the puzzles. I always have done. I know I want to help people, but I don't want to do it with my wand. I want to do it with my brain.'

I only realised when I had finished that it had all came out in one huge stream with barely a breath taken. Ginny and Harry were looking at me with shocked expressions, their eyes wide and unblinking. Ron however surprised me by staring at me almost completely impassively. For a moment no one moved until finally Ron closed his eyes with a deep sigh before turning to Harry and Ginny and asking them to give us a minute alone. When they had left us and we were finally completely alone he finally spoke, surprising me by what he said.

'I'm not going to try to talk you out of it,' he said, with an almost defeated air. 'I know that I can't.'

I was struck into silence by his confession. Whatever I had expected Ron to say, this most certainly wasn't it. I knew Ron. I had argued with him plenty of times before. It was almost what we did best. Argue. And in all of that time, I had never seen him back down so easily.

'Hermione I'm tired of fighting with you. You might think that I don't know you or I don't understand you or whatever it is that made you run away to Malfoy in the first place.' I opened my mouth to contradict him, but before I could even get one word out he stopped me with a look deep into my eyes. 'But I do know you. I've known you for over seven years and I know how you think. I know you couldn't be happy being an auror. I know you are happiest when your head is in a book.'

He smiled sadly at me and my heart twisted with such familiar emotions. 'And even though I know I've hurt you and I've let you down, I know that we are meant to be together and Hermione we will be together.' He spoke with such conviction that I could feel my breath catching. 'I know this is all my fault and I should have just told you months, no years ago how I felt about you.'

I knew I shouldn't ask. I was with Draco and I was happy, but I couldn't help it. I had to know why he had broken my heart. 'So why didn't you?'

When he spoke it was on a defeated sigh. 'I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to write to you. You don't understand what it was like. What I was going through.'

'No I don't! Because you never told me. You shut me out Ron and you pushed me away when I needed you the most. The war was over and after spending every minute of every day with you and Harry I was suddenly on my own with no one to talk to about everything that had happened. I had no one around me who understood what we had been through and the one person who I thought I could count count on, made it worse by completely ignoring me. So no, Ron, I don't understand.'

'Let me explain it you. Please. You and I kissing. Getting together. It had been a long time coming and I wish to Merlin, Morgana and even Gryffindor himself that I had told you sooner. When we finally got together, I was so happy. I was the happiest I'd felt in my life. I told myself that it didn't matter what happened in the battle, because we were together and we would face anything that came our way.' His expression twisted and he took a deep shaky breath. 'Then Fred died. I was at my happiest at the moment my brother was murdered. I'd told myself that whatever happened it didn't matter because I finally had you. And he died. And I'd said it didn't matter.'

I felt sick as I looked at everything that had happened through Ron's eyes. 'Ron what happened wasn't your fault.'

'I know that!' he yelled, making me jump. 'I know that,' he repeated more softy, 'but I felt so guilty. How could I allow myself to be happy when the worst thing had just happened? How could I be happy when my big brother had just died? I didn't want to be happy, Hermione. I didn't deserve to be happy when everyone around me was grieving. What right did I have to be writing notes of love, to be excited about a new relationship, to be going on first dates when my brother lay dead in the ground?'

My heart was hammering within my chest at the sickening realisation. Ron had loved me the whole time.

'I pushed you away. I was being selfish and I realise that now. I pushed you away because I felt so guilty about it and I blamed you for it.'

'I understand that Ron and I understand that you needed time. But then why go with Lavender? Why not come to me or at least tell me any of this? I would have understood.'

He flicked his eyes to meet mine, but wasn't able to hold my gaze. 'Part of it was me trying to prove to myself that I didn't need you. The other part was mad at you. When we saw each other again after all that time, you didn't act any different around me. You acted like it didn't bother you that we'd kissed and then hadn't spoken for months. Lavender was partly to make myself feel better and partly to see if you still cared.'

'You broke my heart Ron,' I said angrily. 'I spent all summer crying and feeling so alone because of you. Part of me thought that things would be fine when we were together again, that you just needed time and yet still you blanked me and in choosing Lavender you made me feel like I was nothing.'

'You're not nothing Hermione.' Ron reached out and tried to take my hand, tried to pull me towards him, but I pulled myself back and out of his reach. 'You've never been nothing. You're everything to me. Please Hermione I need you.'

'No you don't Ron,' I said gently. I finally understood. I finally had the answer to the question that had plagued me for months. What's more, I couldn't be angry with him because it all made sense. I couldn't hold it against him for being as lost as confused as I has been. I only wish we could have helped each other through it, together. But it was too late for that now. 'That might have been true once, but it's not anymore. I did love you. I love you as my friend. But Ron that is all we'll ever be. There's too much hurt between us. Neither of us have ever been brave enough to just tell the other one the truth. I feel like if we were meant to be together, then it would have happened already. We wouldn't keep looking for reasons to keep us apart.'

'Don't say that Hermione. Never say that.' He stepped in close to me and placed a hand gently against my cheek. I had to fight to stop myself from leaning into his touch. 'I'm not the same person that I was and I won't make the same mistakes again.'

I looked up at him, my sad eyes meeting his. 'It's too late Ron.'

'It's never too late Hermione,' he said firmly. 'I'll never give up on you. I know that you're mad at me just now and I understand that but You just need some time to miss me. And I'll be waiting when you realise it.'

With those words Ron left me alone. Whether or not he had left me alone so that I could think through what he had said it was what I inevitably ended up doing. I had sat down on the bottom step and ignored the huffing of the people who had to squeeze their way past me as they tried to go for breakfast or to classes. I just held my head in my hands and tried to make sense of all the madness. Less than six months ago I had sat in my bedroom feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Even in my wildest imagination I could never had imagined that I would be in this situation. I knew that Ron wanted a relationship with me, something that I had been dreaming of for a long time. I had sat and watched while he dated another girl, all the time hoping that he would just wake up and see me and it had taken him four long year. Four years for him to admit to himself and to me how he felt. Draco had told me after a couple of months.

In my heart I knew that I did truly love Ron, but being with Draco and being in a relationship had made me see that the love I felt for Ron was different. I always knew that the love I had for Harry and Ron were different from each other. Harry was the love for the brother I never had, Ron I had come to realise was the love of a friend. It might not have always been that way and he might hope differently but right now I knew that was the only love I would ever feel for Ron. Maybe I was being unfair to him and maybe I was being selfish, but I wanted and needed someone like Draco who made me feel special and loved. It was sad do to come to the realisation that whatever I had felt for Ron; whatever could have been between us would never happen. There was no going back now and I couldn't help but feel that we had missed our chance.

Even though I was definitely staying and was absolutely one hundred percent sure that I was making the right decision at least a very large part of my brain seemed to keep on forgetting that staying meant that I actually did have to keep on attending my classes. I'd already missed more than half my classes in the last few weeks and looking at the clock it seemed I had definitely missed another one. I would rather miss Professor Haven's class than turn up late to it. The woman already hated me enough. As it was, I decided that it was time I finally stopped hiding from Draco and told him what I had decided.

I hurried down to the dungeons and waited near Professor Haven's classroom. I wanted to make sure that I caught Draco, but I didn't want Professor Haven to catch me deliberately skipping her class. I would make up some excuse later. Luckily I didn't have long to wait in the damp and freezing corridors before I heard the signs of the class finishing up and people started to leave the class. I was beginning to worry that he wasn't there when most of the class walked past me and I still hadn't seen him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally saw him emerge from the classroom, although that relief was short lived when I saw that he wasn't alone. Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson were with him looking rather cosy. My courage faltered for a moment, but I knew I had to tell him now.

I stepped forward, swallowing the lump in my throat as Draco suddenly looked up and met my eyes. I don't know what I was expecting to see, any sort of welcome would have been preferable to the hardening that I saw in his gaze.

'Can we talk?' I asked him, ignoring the sneering glances that both Pansy and Blaise sent in my direction. I stared straight into Draco's eyes, ignoring them both. He gave his friends a brief nod and they exchanged a glance before they brushed past me, Pansy with a charming once over glance on her way past, finally leaving us alone.

'Where were you?' he asked me his voice low yet hard. He was as still and unyielding as a stone statue standing opposite from me.

'I got held up and thought it would be best to miss it than show up late. I really didn't want another detention,' I said, smiling at him. A smile he returned with a stare.

For a long moment I thought he wasn't going to say anything. When he did eventually speak, I wished he hadn't.

'If you've come to tell me that you're going to be an auror, that you're leaving, I understand. I feel I've lost you anyway.'

'Draco, what are you talking about?' I asked in confusion, wondering where the turn in conversation had come from.

He eyed me thoughtfully for a moment while he gathered his thoughts and formed them into words. 'Four empty seats in class today. Didn't take a genius to figure it out. Once again though I have to find things out from everyone else, instead of you.'

'Draco, it's not like that. It's not what you think,' I tried to explain.

'No, it never is. Ever since they came back, ever since they found out about us, I feel like there's something holding you back. I feel like I've only got half of you, Hermione. I don't want just half of you. I want to have all of you or this won't work. There'll be no point.'

'So what is this, an ultimatum?' I asked, matching his tone of anger and annoyance, in spite of my best efforts. I already knew that I was staying. I already knew that I wasn't going to be an auror and that I had chosen to stay at Hogwarts and ultimately with him. Yet he seemed determined to push us into another argument. I didn't know if it was his aloof and pissy attitude or the fact that I had just seen him with Pansy, but I was only too happy to take him up on his offer. Something in his comment struck a chord me, a chord that seemed remarkably like guilt. I knew deep down that he was right, I had been pushing him away. I had been trying to straddle two different worlds. My world with him and my world with Harry and Ron. Neither would accept the other and so in my selfish reluctance to make a choice, I had kept them apart and doing so had kept Draco at arm's length, refusing to let him be a part of that other side of me.

'Merlin, Hermione,' he said, his stony mask finally shattering as all of his frustration exploded outwards at once. In one quick movement, he had reached forward and grabbed my arms, pulling me close to him so that I could see every single trace of his anguish and anger up close. 'I'm not giving you an ultimatum. I'm not forcing you to be with me. Is it so wrong that I actually want you to want to be with me? Is it so wrong that I want to be chosen for once? That you might actually be honest with me for a change instead of leaving me to find things out from everyone else. I'm fed up having to prove myself. Everyone else treats me like the scum of the earth, I didn't expect for you to make me feel that way too.'

Deep down I knew he was right and the chord of guilt that I had felt the moment before snapped and the weight of it dropped into the pit of my stomach along with an overwhelming feeling of shame. I had pushed him away, I had made him seem like my guilty secret and like he wasn't good enough to be a part of my friend group. Even once I had gotten over my fears and told everyone about us, I had unconsciously kept him at arm's length. I had made him feel the way I had felt. Like I wasn't good enough and that made me feel sick to my stomach. Together we had managed to put a barrier between us. A twenty foot high, solid steel barrier keeping us apart. All of the hard earned trust that had been forged between us over the last four months had been dismantled in the space of one short week. He knew that I had thought he was guilty, even if it had only been for a fleeting moment, but we both knew that the doubt existed inside me and I knew that he would still go running to his father at the first sign of trouble.

Yet in spite of all those obstacles he had told me that he loved me and I loved him. I just needed to get us back to where we had been. I just needed to trust him again and make sure he knew that the trust was there. And I guess on some levels I had to get him to trust me again too.

'No it's not wrong Draco,' I said gently, moving towards us in attempt to close both the literal and metaphorical distance between us. It killed me that I saw wariness in his eyes. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I've made you feel this way, but it's just, I don't know. I can't explain it. I feel like everyone is against us and everything just seems to be going wrong for us. I love you and I do want to be with you but, should it really be this hard?'

I waited tensely for his answer, knowing that his answer would change things drastically forever. I had given him an out, a way of walking away from me if he wanted it, but I had everything under the sun crossed that he didn't take me up on it.

'I don't know,' he said eventually and for a moment I thought I was going to be sick. 'I've never been in love before. I'm kind of learning as I go.' I breathed a sigh of relief and was a moment away from kissing him, when he surprised me even more with the words that came out of his mouth. 'And besides what's the saying about true love never running smoothly.'

I jerked back to look at him more closely, unable to keep the surprise and the small smile from my face. 'Did you just quote Shakespeare? How on earth do you know Shakespeare?'

'I have absolutely no idea who or what that is but you were reading a book over Christmas and when you fell asleep I might have picked it up and read a bit of it. The story was bloody awful but I kind of liked that line. I might have memorised it to impress you.'

'Did you just call Shakespeare awful? Shakespeare, the greatest writer who has ever lived and you call it awful? What about Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Othello, Macbeth?'

'Okay Hermione, you are literally just saying random words now. Can we maybe get back to the bigger picture?'

'Sorry, but you have just insulted a literary genius and I'm not sure I can get over that.'

'Look Hermione,' he grabbed my arm again, forcing me to face him and refocus. 'I'm not perfect. I know I'm not perfect but I am trying and I know that I love you and I will never hurt you. I want to be with you Hermione, but only if you want to be with me.'

'Of course I want to be with you Draco. I've missed you.'

'Well we can make it work then. I mean you can still come back and visit during the holidays and I can try to visit you in London.'

'Draco that's what I came to tell you. I'm not going to London. I'm staying here.'

'Hermione,' he sighed deeply, stepping away from me again. I could feel my eyes widening in hurt and surprise at his reaction. 'This is an amazing opportunity for you and I won't be the one to stand in your way.'

'You won't,' I said with a relieved sigh, finally understanding his reaction. 'No offense Draco, but I'm not staying for you. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly an added bonus,' I teased, 'but in all honesty I don't want to be an auror. I'm done with fighting. I want to stay here and get my NEWTS. With you.'

'Are you sure?'

I stepped closer to him and looked him straight in the eye, showing my sincerity.

'Completely,' I said with certainty. I always loved seeing Draco smile. It seemed like a rare gift just for me. But this smile, the slow, shy and uncertain smile, the merest turning up of the end of his lips that he tried to hold back was definitely my favourite. It was that smile that made me reach up and kiss him in a way that I hadn't for quite a while.

It was Draco who pulled back, his arrogant smirk in his place, although I could see the teasing in his eyes. 'Well I suppose if you're staying then we have a class to get to.' He grabbed my hand and started to lead us up the stairs and out of the dungeon. 'Because I have to tell you, you've got some catching up to do Miss Granger, especially if you want to be top of the class in potions,' he said with a wink, 'because I have to tell you, I am killing it.'

Harry and Ron leaving at the end of the week was a quiet event, regardless of Draco's predictions. He painted quite a detailed picture of fanfares and Harry and Ron being paraded through the hall as the crowd cheered and streamers and fireworks exploded overhead as they walked hand in hand through the school gates as McGonagall and half of the Gryffindors wept on their knees and nearly half the school went into a month long of mourning. He got a whack in the arm for those sarcastic remarks.

As it was, they said goodbye to their close friends in the Gryffindor tower and then Ginny and I walked them to Professor McGonagall's office where they were going to floo to The Burrow. They were both going to stay there for a while they looked for somewhere to stay in London. Professor McGonagall said her goodbyes to both Harry and Ron first, a short and swift goodbye. She was never really one for saying more than was necessary. Yet behind her brief words you could sense the emotion. I even thought I saw the glimpse of a tear. Once she'd given Harry a swift hug and gave Ron a pat of the back, she left the room, leaving us to our goodbyes. She had already connected the fireplace to the floo network, but it wouldn't stay open for long.

While Ginny and Ron said a quick goodbye, with Ginny asking Ron to give their mum some things from her, I said my goodbyes to Harry.

'Promise that you'll write to me. Every week. And come and visit me as often as you can. And don't just say that you will and then don't because I promise you that I will send you a howler every day if you don't write to me. I want to know every detail of what you're doing.'

'Okay, okay Hermione. I promise you I will write to you every week and I promise you that we'll meet up over the Easter holidays, Okay?'

'Okay. I'm going to hold you to that. I'm going to miss you,' I said my voice cracking slightly. I choked back the emotion trying to remember to say everything that I wanted. 'Now remember not to do anything stupid. Don't rush in before you know all of the facts and don't go off on your own mission.'

'Hermione, what am I going to do without you?' A sad smile had appeared on Harry's face and I knew that he was feeling the same thing that I was.

I gave Harry a tight hug, trying to blink back the tears that had pooled in my eyes. Looking over Harry's shoulder I could see that Ron and Ginny were finished there goodbye and Ginny was patiently waiting her turn with Harry.

Letting Harry go, I turned to Ron, knowing that I couldn't put it off any longer.

'Ron, take care of yourself,' I said awkwardly, hating how forced our interactions had become. I leaned in to give him a hug and in that one moment I realised just how much I would actually miss him. I squeezed him tightly. 'Don't let anything happen to him Ron. I'm counting on you.'

'I won't Hermione, I promise you.'

I leaned back and studied his face. 'I'll miss you Ron.'

'I'll miss you too Hermione.' He studied my face just as I had in the moment. If I'd known what he was about to do I would have pulled back, at least I'm sure I would have. As it was I thought he was going to kiss my cheek, but instead his lips grazed the edge of my mouth, just touching my lips.

We looked at each other for a short moment, the length of time between the blink of an eye and yet a thousand messages passed between us in that time. Love, pain and most importantly regret. Although in his eyes I saw something else. A promise. A promise that it wasn't over.

I was crying when I left Professor McGonagall's office. I had held my tears back as long as I could, but the moment their images disappeared into the green flames of the fireplace, the first tear made its down my cheek. Ginny was upset to see them go, but it wasn't the same for her. Being in the year below us she had her own group of friends and she still spent a lot of time with them. She had also spent the entire previous year at Hogwarts without us. She hadn't spent every moment with Harry and Ron and then had to stand and watch them leave. She offered to stay with me, but I declined her offer. I wanted to be alone.

I didn't really know what to do with myself. The Gryffindor common room seemed too lonely, I had nothing to do in the library and I didn't want to be the girl sitting sobbing in the corner. In the end I wandered the grounds. It was January and for once wasn't bitterly cold. I still had my scarf wrapped tightly around my neck, but at least I didn't feel as if my nose was about to fall off. I wandered around for a while eventually settling in a spot near the whomping willow. I didn't really expect to be disturbed by anyone but if anyone had fancied a walk in the winter sunshine they certainly wouldn't venture near to the whomping willow. That's why I was so surprised when some time later I saw a figure in the distance and I immediately knew who it was.

Even from a distance I could tell that it was Draco. His hair was a big give away but it was more than that. Almost an awareness that I felt whenever he was near. I saw him scanning around, looking and then change his direction when he saw me. I did think about trying to hide before he got close to me, but I knew he had seen me so I didn't really see the point. It wasn't that I didn't want to see him, it was that I didn't want to see anyone. I knew it was silly and that I would see Harry and Ron again soon, but I just felt like I'd lost something. There was a pain in my chest, like a part of me had been ripped out. Like a part of me had been left empty. For the first time in eight years, I was on a different path from Harry and Ron and I just had to hope that I had made the right choice.

'I've been looking everywhere for you,' he said once he was in hearing distance of me.

'Well you've found me,' I answered, my voice flat and even if I didn't mean it, hard. His brows knit together in silent question as he registered my tone. '

'What are you doing?' he continued, not taking my subtle warning that was not in the mood for conversation.

'Thinking,' I answered bluntly.

'About?' he replied, in a tone that I could tell he had to work at to keep civil.

'Things.' I knew I was annoying Draco with my short answers, but I really didn't want to talk about Harry and Ron, especially with someone who would have to complete opposite emotions that I did in relation to them leaving. I knew that if I told him the truth, if I started to speak about what I was thinking and what was going through my mind then I would start to cry and I wasn't sure if I would be able to stop.

'So they're gone then?' Draco asked me, clearly determined to get me to talk, no matter how much I didn't want to.

Sighing and fighting back an eye roll I tried to give him another warning. A less subtle one this time. 'Don't start.'

'What?'

'Just don't start your happy, gleeful little dance now that they've gone.' I was standing now as I felt the first surges of anger. I welcomed the feeling of the hot anger in my veins. Anger was better than sadness.

'Oh come on, like I would do that. I'm not that much of an arse.' He had to take a deep breath to make his voice civil again but I could tell through the gritting of his teeth that he was finding it increasingly difficult. 'So how was it? Did they get away okay?'

'Draco, don't stand there and pretend like you're sad that they're gone because I know that you're not and I just don't want to hear that just now.'

'Look will I cry over the fact that they're gone – no. But as much as I may not have liked them, I know they are important to you. I don't want you to feel like you can't talk about them to me. I meant it when I said that I wanted us to be more open with each other. They're a huge part of your life and I don't want you to shut a huge part of your life away from me. Besides I guess Potter wasn't all bad.'

'So come on, tell me what happened.' He sat down on the stone wall that I had been sitting on and motioned for me to join him. After a slight moment of hesitation I sat down beside him. He was right, as usual. I didn't usually like talking about my emotions, but Draco was right. I had to start being honest with him or I would end of driving a wedge between us that would become a permanent fixture.

And so I opened up my heart to him. I sat and told him all about how they left. Once I started stopping I couldn't stop. He didn't say a word. He just let me talk and talk about how much they meant to be and how much I was going to miss them. I told him all the things that I would miss about them. I told him half of the things that we got up to at Hogwarts and he just listened, letting my tears fall as he put his arm around me to let me know that he was there for me.

It was strange to think but Harry and Ron leaving had inadvertently brought me and Draco closer together again. In truth I didn't know what had happened to create the unwelcome distance that seemed to have pushed us apart. It was what I had feared would happen when people found out about us. Other people's mistrust and uncertainty had been projected onto me and I was ashamed to admit that I had allowed their doubts to create fears of my own. Yet Draco was still here. Because of me he had been accused of a horrible crime and nearly sent to Azkaban, he had been vilified by the newspapers, been subject to gossip and whispers behind his back with looks of suspicion following him wherever he went. On top of all that he had to deal with my commitment and trust issues. Yet in spite of all of that he was still here. He was still by my side comforting me over the loss of my two best friends and his two worst enemies. If I had any doubt over his feelings or commitment to me they were now gone. Why else would he still be here with me after all that he had put up with if he didn't truly care? Most other people would have walked away long ago, but he hadn't. He was still here trying to make me feel better and that had to mean something.

The awkwardness that had been lingering between us had vanished completely as he comforted me. Each confession I made, each story I relayed dismantled another part of that wall that we had built between us. I knew it couldn't have been easy for him and I imagined that he was probably holding his tongue and biting back a few sarcastic remarks that he would liked to have made but didn't. He just held me tightly to him and let me pour my heart out. Even when my tears had soaked through the fabric of his shirt he didn't let me go or stop me. Once I had started I found that I couldn't stop. What had started with me telling him how I was feeling with Harry and Ron leaving turned into me reminiscing over the last eight years. I told him about all the crazy adventures we'd had, well most of them. I told him about when Sirius died, when Ron was in the hospital wing, when we faced a werewolf and how they had become family to me. I talked for a long time, sometimes laughing through my tears at the memories and sometimes sobbing so hard that Draco held me tighter and stroked my hair gently to try and calm me down. Eventually we both fell silent and we stayed that way for what seemed like a long time. When the light started to fade and I started to feel the cold deep inside of me, I pulled away, trying to avoid Draco's eyes as I felt more than a little embarrassed at how much I had said to him. Yet again I had opened my heart and my mind to Draco Malfoy. I didn't know why but he had a way of making me open up to him that no one else could. Of saying more than I meant to. Of making me realise feelings and thoughts that I didn't even know I had.

'I'm sorry,' I said avoiding his eyes. 'I didn't mean to say so much. I know you never got on with them.'

Draco reached out and grabbed hold of my chin, forcing my face upwards so that I had no choice but to look at him.

'Hermione, how many times do I have to tell you that you can tell me anything? That I want you to tell me things. I want, no I need you to trust me.'

Draco's eyes were usually cold and hard. It kept people away from him. It made him a very hard person to read. Yet looking into the mix of swirling grey and blue, I saw him. All of him. I saw that he was truly sincere. Whilst I had a tendency to open up around Draco and tell him all the secret thoughts running through my head, he opened up in his own way. He let me see the person that he truly was and that was a person that I truly wanted to be with.

'I do trust you Draco and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't.'

A/N- Thank you to everyone who has read, favourited, followed or reviews. Reviews are honestly the life blood of any writer and what make it all worthwhile, so please spare a moment to leave a review below. Thanks and I hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter.

To D the guest reviewer. Thanks so much for your review. As you can see Hermione did pick staying at Hogwarts, thankfully, otherwise writing her and Draco together would have been really tricky. Hope you enjoy this chapter and it would be nice to hear your thoughts.

Hagridinaponcho- thanks again for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it. I like hearing your theories about what happened to Hermione.

hyoerfaerie- Thanks for your review. I'm glad you are enjoying reading the story. Again, I love hearing all the theories.

McKayz- Wow, that's impressive. I'm glad you have enjoyed reading. Thanks for review and your lovely comments. I haven't written the ending yet but I do have ideas about the final chapter.

Lady Lyanna Mormont- Thanks for taking the time to review and I'm glad you have enjoyed reading this.

Charlotte- Thanks for your review. As you can see, Ron took it better than expected. I love hearing all of your thoughts, so please take the time to review again.