Chapter 24

I Run Away

Emma snuck out to Jay's to be the bearer of bad news, she climbed through her bedroom window breaking a cardinal rule Snake had set. She needed to tell him that he needs to have dinner with Emma and her family in order to continue seeing him. It's all Manny's fault for mentioning Jay period the day she told Emma's mom and dad about things and now there's a dinner neither Emma nor Jay want to have. Jay's never been the meet the parent's type.

"Oh there you are," Jay muttered as he got off the couch pulling her close into an embrace and kissing her softly, "what's been new?"

"My mom and stepdad want to have dinner tomorrow night." Emma told him, "Manny sort of mentioned you when we studied at the library."

Jay muttered telling her honestly, "I told you, I don't do parent dinners."

Emma frowned unsure how to feel when she heard his not so nice tone, he saw the hurt in her eyes. Jay sighed when he saw her puppy dog eyes, "I'll do it for you" he pressed his head up against her forehead, "for us. I just don't want to start having barbecues and a weekly thing."

"I think they just want a name to a face."

"I guess so."

Emma and Jay kiss and she joins him on the couch, "What are they gonna make?"

"Sushi, handrolls. She considers it a special occasion. She's looking forward to meeting you."

"And Mr. Simpson?"

"Let's just say he's not exactly enthused."

"Can you blame him? My track record with him quite frankly sucks."

"I promise you can be compensated by me," Emma flirtatiously says to him.

"Only girls parents I ever met were Lexxi's but I've known Emily and Chad for years. I grew up with her but what if they don't like me?"

"Why wouldn't they like you?" Emma asked, "I like you. My mom isn't judgy. She can be really cool and honest."

"Oh before I forget there's a party Friday Night at the ravine, you in?"

"Yeah, of course. Maybe if you meet the parents I won't have to bother sneaking."

"Hopefully, I don't know for sure why I care but I hope that your mom likes me. I think her perception of me is more important than Snake's."

Emma smiled softly, "I hope she likes you too."

…..

Jay knocked on the door and Spike answered.

"Jay, I'm Christine. It's nice to finally meet you." She tells him as she lets him into the house, "I hope you're hungry because I sort of made a bunch. Emma mentioned you like eel and California best."

"Love it."

As they sit down at the table, Jay's left leg is bouncing nervously. Emma slowly travels her hand to his under the table to try to ease his nerves.

Manny sees this but is distracted by her Kani salad and getting her serving of soup from Spike.

Once everyone has food in front of them Christine begins playfully grilling Jay, "So Jay what are some of your hobbies?"

"I like cars." He manages to say.

"I guess you take auto shop. Emma, didn't Sean take it too?"

Emma awkwardly nods her head because Christine is doing exactly what she asked her not to do. She wasn't comfortable with Sean mention but Christine was simply making conversation at the silent table. Manny is amused because it's better Emma than her. "Christine," Snake calmly changes the subject about school and tells her, "Pass the wasabi and ginger please."

She does and then returns her attention back to Jay, "So you live far from here?"

"No I live close to The Dot in the apartments, I live by myself. I'm pretty much emancipated from my dad. Long story."

Christine was surprised, but she tried to remain calm and collected. Snake made a face knowing more than her that she shouldn't ask, "Oh," is all she could say, "Well what are your post-school plans?"

Jay swallowed hard, "I'm trying to become a mechanic by trade at the vocational school. I took 3 years of shop so I think that's where I want to go."

Snake was beside himself. Jay had always had bad grades and attendance. Snake had all but given up on him being successful in Media Immersion or anywhere and he was always insubordinate and he was always in detention or getting suspended before he was expelled. He wasn't happy about this dinner. He sipped his water and kept his eyes downcast at his plate.

"It's nice that you have a goal for that." Emma hoped his expulsion didn't come up. Christine wasn't pleased he was living alone and Emma knew she'd be uncomfortable with the notion of Emma spending time with Jay at his house. She was hoping to hear something different.

After dinner, Emma, Manny, and Christine did the dishes together and Snake and Spike were in the living room watching tv. Jay had offered to help but Christine quipped, "You're the guest. Enjoy yourself."

Snake started out silent when he asked Jay to come to the chair nearest him. "You might fool Christine, Emma, and maybe even Manny but you don't fool me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay asked. "I'm not trying to fool anyone."

Contemptful he mutters, "I know exactly who you are, what you are. What you did. Heed my warning you hurt Emma we're going to have some problems."

"I think she can take care of herself and decide what she wants."

"She's fragile and you knew that this spring, what about that?"

Jay grumbled, "What are you saying? I don't want to have this conversation."

"You're not good enough for her. The games over."

Jay copped an attitude softly not to alarm the girls in the kitchen, "Damn right it is, there are no games. I hate to break it to you but with all due respect mind your own business."

"Emma is my business, she has been since I married her mother. Look at you," Snake shaking his head with a look of disgust, "look at you pretending right here and now."

Jay scoffed, "This is why I didn't want to come to dinner. I knew I just knew it'd go bad."

"You know what Jay? Do what you do best, let her go. It'll hurt at first for her but I know she doesn't mean anything to you. End the long con because Emma looks at you as someone she had given her heart to and you're never going to be good enough and I'll never accept your relationship as genuine because I don't believe you're genuine."

"You don't know anything, Archibald. Do you know how horrible you sound? You don't know anything and I'm not going anywhere."

A quiet lull followed Jay's last words, and then Emma emerged from the kitchen and brought out of the kitchen two pieces of cake that Spike made for the two and sat beside Jay. She had a feeling he wasn't okay, "Here," She knelt on the couch beside him.

"Thanks, Emma."

Emma beamed combing her hair behind her, "It's your favorite, cheesecake. I made it."

"It's delicious," Jay told her distractedly, Snake got up to give them time. He put down the cheesecake on the table when he had a few bites feeling full. The conversation really got to him. He gave her a quick kiss, he lowered his voice, "I'll talk to you tonight though but I gotta get back home. Some of my friends are coming by for a pickup."

"Okay." Is all she could say. Christine saw Jay put on his jacket on the hook and Spike entered the room with a bag, "Here are some leftovers for later."

"Food was amazing, thank you for the dinner and hospitality."

Snake glared at him covertly before Jay left. Emma felt weird but he couldn't figure out how his mood went from up to down.

Spike remarked, "He seems nice, Emma. It's a shame he couldn't stay for games."

"Yeah," Emma's mood had lowered and she looked to her mother, "I'm going to go lay down. I'm kind of tired from all the cooking earlier." Manny couldn't read the room and decided to go join her friend, and Spike and Snake remained upstairs and watched television until they ventured up to bed around 10. Emma started to grow concerned so she shot Jay a text, "Do you want me to come over later?"

He took a while to get back to her and she wondered why he was so distant and weird after dinner. She took matters into her own hands, waited until the coast was clear and everyone was asleep and took a walk to Jay's.

The lights were on, his car was in the driveway. It was raining hard by the time she arrived she was drenched but she was determined to see him. She knew it was kind of forward but she was starting to feel something wasn't right. She knocked on the front door. Jay was chain-smoking cigarettes alone at his kitchen table, the friends had come and gone and he was deep in thought he almost didn't hear the knock at the door. He was trying to find a way to avoid hurting Emma. What Snake said got to him. He figured, "How could we have a good relationship with her stepfather hating him the way he does?"

Finally, Emma knocked one last time and Jay answered the door. She lowered her fist and offered him a smile, "Did you get my message?"

"No." He told her flatly, "I haven't been by my phone."

Emma could sense the distance, "You okay?"

"Why are you here?" Jay asked.

"Well I'm your girlfriend, isn't that reason enough to come?"Jay didn't say anything, he watched her smile fade, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No Emma, you're fine. It's not you." Jay muttered softly avoiding her eyes, not sure how to break the horrible news. "It's got to do with me, you should go home. I'm in a really crappy mood."

"I can tell. Maybe I can turn your frown upside down?"

Jay blurted out, "No, no you can't." Emma cocked her head and he went on, "I don't think I can do this with you."

"Excuse me?" She asked, taken back feeling like her stomach had been hit by a dozen potatoes in a sack. She avoided his eyes and she whispered determined to make this wrong right, "Can we at least talk about it? What's going on?"

She attempted to get closer to him but he backed up, "I don't want you to come in. I know what would happen if I let you in and I'd let you down. I don't know if we can do that, or if it'd be a good idea. I didn't mean for it to get this far but maybe we need to take a break or something. You're attached, I don't do dinner with parents, I'm not that kind of guy and I never will be. I can't talk to you right now, I've got a lot on my mind."

"So you don't want to be with me." Her voice was breaking, "why? I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted to be with me. I mean I don't even know what happened? Was it something I said?"

"It's nothing to do with you." He told her, "I'm an asshole. I'm sorry I led you on."

"I can't believe this, this is a cop-out and I know it."

"Just go home," Emma looked back at the pouring rain and then to Jay hoping he'd reconsider. The longer she stood there the more he wanted her to stay and it hurt him to do this. He didn't want to and was careful with his words. "You shouldn't be here."

He didn't want to say or do anything additionally that he'd come to regret.

Emma looked down and wiped her tears away with her hands, she went to her wrist and removed the bracelet Jay had given her from his mother and placed it in his hands, "I guess I wasn't special."

He didn't say anything that hurt him more than she knew. He wished that he could tell her the truth, about Snake and what he said but instead, he said, "it's better to rip off the bandaid now it'll only hurt worse if we'd prolong it."

"Why tonight?" Jay looked down at the bracelet as she challenged the notion, "What happened to you?"

"It needs to be done. We need to be, you're so much better off. I'll only bring you down. I'm going to end up breaking your heart. You don't deserve that, you don't deserve someone like me." A clap of thunder made Emma jump after he finished with, "Please don't make this harder than it already is. It was better when we felt nothing."

"How could you go and do this?" She asked rhetorically he didn't say a word just watched her, "You got your wish, alright. I'll go but just know I broke my own rules for you, I was falling in love with you and now look at what you've done." He could hear the hurt in her voice. "I should've trusted my intuition that you are so not who I thought you were."

She sniffled as she turned her back, he watched her disappear into the rain and fog. She sobbed the entire way. It was low visibility but she saw Sean's apartment lit and she decided to bite the bullet. She adjusted herself as the set clothes weighed her down and clung to her.

She pounded on the door as the mascara marked her cheeks as she wiped her tears, smearing it even further. She didn't want him to see that she'd been crying, "Emma?"

Sean was in a white tee and sweatpants appearing ready for bed, he simply invited her inside no questions asked holding the door open for her, "You're soaked what's going on? Quick come in."

Emma didn't tell him, she didn't want to talk about it. She knew she had nothing to lose; she had already lost Jay and his love. She just blinked back tears and tried holding back and told him, "I'm a mess."

She stepped inside and without thinking he threw a blanket around her, "Something happen? You don't have to tell me. Let me get you something dry."

He rushed down the hall to grab a towel from the linen closet and something dry.

Emma stood in his warm and lit living room waiting for him to return. Emma saw him return and then she walked into the bathroom, dried off and changed. She joined him on the couch but sat a cushion apart. Her hair was still wet but it wasn't dripping. "Thanks, Sean," she tells him as she reentered the living area.

"Hey, don't mention it. I'm glad you came to me. It's dangerous out there." Emma sat beside him and took it all in that Sean was here and he didn't dismiss her. He let her in, he was compassionate. She didn't deserve it though she thought.

Emma suddenly burst into tears and Sean whispered, "Hey hey hey, what's wrong? You're okay. You can stay here as long as you need, or until the storm breaks." She wordlessly acknowledged him taking tissue from the side table and wiping her eyes, "No rush we don't have to talk if you don't want to. I mean I don't have my cable but we can watch whatever on if that's okay."

Emma turned to face him after some time of silence and calm, "You were right about everything."

"I didn't want to be for what it's worth."

"Well, you were right and now I don't know what to do."

"Where were you coming from?"

"Jay's, he broke up with me. I didn't know who else to turn to."

Sean was fuming, "And he just let you walk home? Gosh, you could've been hit by a car or worse. Catch a cold from being wet in the cold."

Emma didn't say anything, "It's not even the worst of it, it's like he waited for me to get invested, and then he goes and pulls the rug out from under me. I just feel so stupid. I should've never let him in. I just thought I didn't know I guess I stopped thinking."

"He took advantage of you, I could kill him."

Emma tried to de-escalate, "Please Sean, it's not entirely his fault. It was complicated."

"He hurt you is what makes me mad because he could."

"I suppose. He was just so cold tonight" Emma covered her mouth as she kept blinking tears tiredly. Emma sighed, "I just know one thing for sure, it was real once. It felt real, and a-and honestly maybe it wasn't supposed to last. Nothing good ever does with me. Nothing lasts forever, right?"

"I didn't want anything like that in June. Come September though so much had changed it seemed right but it stopped being a game. It stopped being fun for him and me and slowly grew into something I still quite don't understand. I just thought I didn't know the feelings were going to be real."

"There's plenty of chances to feel that way for somebody when you least expect it, and it may seem hopeless now but I promise you'll get better. I hate seeing you cry. You deserve good things. I won't rest until you see it."

"Prepare for many sleepless nights," Emma told him jokingly. "It's just the first time I fell in love I got hurt it took time afterward to work through the loss. Then more recently, I agreed to the summer arrangement because it felt secure, no feelings involved, no strings and it got murky."

Sean opened his mouth to speak and Emma looked at him, "everything changed when you saved me. I changed into somebody I didn't know. I felt you were the only one who understood me. I just felt abandoned by you and now I feel all sorts of selfish because you didn't deserve it. I know you don't like the word hero, but you are my hero."

"I'm here for you now, I appreciate you saying that."

A small smile crept upon her lips and he pulled her into a hug, she leaned on him and returned the hug and they lingered there for a while quietly just taking everything in. Eventually, they were ready for bed.

He insisted she take his bed and he took the couch. He tucked her in and shut out the bedroom light. Emma turned on her side and scrunched her body to stay warm as tears slid down her cheeks. It took her a few moments before trailing off to sleep.