It was Blaine, not Kurt, who asked first if they could have a conversation about what had happened between them on Friday. Kurt had of course agreed, and now the two boys are sitting in Kurt's bedroom, door open as per his father's rules, ready to talk about it.
Kurt sits on his bed, legs crossed, and stares across at Blaine sitting at the foot of his bed. They're quiet for a moment, not sure what to say or who should start, until Blaine finally breaks the silence.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I know you're not ready, for that, and I shouldn't have pushed you," he says simply, and Kurt can see the sincerity in his eyes.
Kurt gives him a tentative smile, and he feels some of the tension leaving his body at Blaine's words. "Thank you, Blaine, it's okay, I just... It surprised me. Because you've never been like that about... you know. You've been so patient with me, I know, and I appreciate it, really I do, but I just... I'm not."
"I know, love, it's okay," Blaine says, leaning forward and taking Kurt's hands in his own. "I know you have some issue with that, I know it's not me. I love you, Kurt, and I will wait as long as you need to be comfortable. I promise."
"I- yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I just-" Kurt starts, but Blaine cuts him off.
"No it's okay, you don't have to apologize, love. Come here," he says, opening his arms and inviting Kurt into them.
Kurt welcomes the embrace, snuggling into Blaine and letting his boyfriend wrap strong, comforting arms around him. "I love you, Bee."
"I love you, too," Blaine replies.
They sit there for a while in silence, Kurt wrapped in Blaine's arms. Kurt is lucky, he thinks. Blaine has a point; Kurt does have some issues with intimacy, and he's getting better, but clearly it's still a problem for him. Blaine is willing to wait, but how many other guys would? He's thankful that his boyfriend is so understanding... but that can only last for so long, right? He needs to sort his feelings out, and soon.
"Do you want to watch Phantom again?" Blaine asks, giving him a little squeeze and pulling him out of his thoughts.
Kurt smiles. "Yeah, that sounds nice," he says, "I'll go get it."
He extracts himself from his boyfriend's arms and wanders over to his bookcase to find the DVD, wonders what he did right to get Blaine in his life, and hopes that he isn't messing this up.
Things have been going well, Kurt thinks. Blaine hasn't been pushy about sex, just as promised, for which he's very thankful, though the thought still nags at the back of his mind that Blaine must be unhappy, and Kurt needs to just get over himself. Since Blaine got his acceptance letter from NYADA, the boys have spent a lot of time talking about Blaine going to New York; all of the places he needs to visit, the friends he'll make, how great NYADA will be, the chances of him running into any celebrities. One thing they haven't talked about, though, is them, and it's making Kurt anxious because he wants there to still be a them, but will Blaine want that when he's living in New York having the time of his life? There were sure to be so many more beautiful boys in the city who would surely be all over Blaine. Kurt wouldn't be surprised if Blaine would rather be with someone new; someone who might not be as much of a prude as he was. They'd talked about it when Blaine applied, sure, but now he was really going. What if things are different now? The thought has been nagging at the back of his head ever since he read that acceptance letter with Blaine, and try as he might to push the thoughts back down, they just kept coming back.
"Hey Kurt! Sorry I'm late, I got caught up looking at apartments with Wes. We found this really great one I think we're going to get! It's right between NYADA and NYU so neither of us will have a long commute, and there's enough room that we won't be right on top of each other all the time," Blaine tells Kurt excitedly, taking a seat across from him at their usual table at the Lima Bean.
Kurt smiles warmly at Blaine. "That's great, Bee! Do you have pictures?"
"Yeah, I'll show you," Blaine says, taking his phone out of his pocket and flicking his thumb across it a few times before turning it to Kurt to show him some photos. "This whole area is kind of the kitchen and living room combined, then this would be my bedroom, and this would be Wes', and this is the bathroom," Blaine explains as he flips through the photos.
"You're really going to New York," Kurt says, a little wistful, but Blaine doesn't seem to notice.
"Yeah, I really am," he says as he beams down at his phone, flipping through the apartment photos again.
"We haven't really... talked about that yet," Kurt tries.
Blaine looks up at him, confused. "What do you mean? We talk about it all the time."
"No, I don't mean that, I mean... Us. When you go to New York," he tries to explain further.
Blaine still looks confused, but it's less bewildered and more concerned now. "What do you mean 'us', Kurt? Do you... do you want to break up?"
Kurt's eyes widen at the words. "No! God, no! Of course not. I just... I was kind of scared that you would want to," he explains, looking down as he says it because he's kind of ashamed for even thinking it, but he needs the reassurance more.
"Kurt," Blaine says, reaching across the table and holding Kurt's hands in his. "Kurt, look at me," and Blaine waits until Kurt has brought his eyes up to meet Blaine's before he continues. "Of course I don't. I love you. We're going to be fine."
"Yeah, of course, you're right," Kurt says, trying to shrug it off and offering Blaine a small smile. "I'm just being silly, ignore me."
"Hey," Blaine says, holding Kurt's gaze with his own, "we'll be okay. Really. I promise. We'll talk every day, and we can have weekly Skype dates, and I'll be home for all the major holidays, and you will definitely have to come up to New York to visit me."
Kurt smiles back, a little more genuinely now. "Yeah. You're right. That sounds really good, Blaine... I'm really happy for you. You're going to love it."
"Oh I know, I can't wait!" Blaine exclaims, and just like that they're off again, talking about the best way Blaine and Wes can use the space in their to-be New York apartment, and Kurt is feeling a little more like he isn't going to be completely losing his boyfriend to the big city in a matter of months.