A Special Kind of Crazy
Chapter Twenty
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fic!
The rehearsal that seemed like it never wanted to end was finally over. Having been one of the few actors required to stay until the very end, Beck was more than grateful that it was finished. Normally, he loved everything about rehearsing for a play but the last hour had simply dragged on. Everything required of the actors had been so tedious and technical. Then there was the true reason why it had dragged on for him. Jade hadn't been needed for the rest of the scenes. She'd left the theater over an hour ago. He ran a hand through his hair as he walked back through the door, thinking about her. Most days they finished up together, which meant he at least had the opportunity to chat with her as they walked to the parking lot together. They always walked together, whether by coincidence or by a conscious decision. More often than not, they ended up going somewhere to eat together afterwards. He found it disappointing that wasn't going to happen this evening, the very first Friday evening they hadn't spent together in weeks. He couldn't say which had been his favorite Friday evening together so far. The game night at Tori's had started it all. It had been so unexpected yet fun. Cat's birthday party at Karaoke Dokie had been amazing. Then there'd been last week, when he had taken care of her at her house after she got her black eye. Yeah, this Friday evening was looking exceptionally dull when compared to the last three.
Absently dangling his car keys from his fingers, he ambled slowly through the quiet hallways of the school. It was Friday evening, one week before opening night, and, due to the long rehearsal, he had absolutely no plans for the evening. Part of him hoped that Jade had waited for him like she had the night they'd gone to the sandwich shop together but he realized that particular hope was rather fruitless this evening. She'd shared with him right before they had walked into rehearsal that she already had plans when he'd hinted at meeting up somewhere for dinner. Apparently, her mother was picking her up after school since her car was in the shop and they were actually going out to dinner together, to some fancy restaurant her mother had made reservations at for the two of them. A crooked smile tipped his lips as he remembered the way her eyes had briefly sparkled when she told him about spending time with her mother. From what he'd gathered through the few conversations they'd had about parents, it had been pretty easy to figure out that neither of her parents spent much time with her. In spite of her resolve to appear nonchalant while she told him about her plans, he could tell that Jade was looking forward to the evening out with her mom.
A fellow actor on the play called out a farewell to him when he walked out the front doors of the school. He raised a hand in acknowledgement and strode along the sidewalk, his keys jingling out a melody the entire way. Halfway across the parking lot, he sent a long, almost careless look around the large outside area. Then he did a double take. Immediately frowning, his eyes zeroed in on the solitary figure sitting on top of one of the circular tables far off in the distance, at the Asphalt Café. Everything was closed up there for the day. No one should be there. His frown grew deeper as he took in the features of the person. Even from such a distance, he knew who was sitting there. He could recognize that silhouette anywhere.
Tucking his keys into his pocket, he reversed his path and headed towards her, wondering the entire time why she was still here. She should have been picked up by her mother an hour ago. Smoothing away his frown, he studied her closely, not liking what he saw at all. Judging from the rigid set of her shoulders and the intense way she was staring down at the ground, he correctly guessed that something wasn't right with her. Something was definitely bothering her. Wiping all expression off his face, not wanting to agitate her, he closed in on her, making his steps intentionally heavier as he came closer, just to let her know that he was there so he didn't surprise her.
The second she heard footsteps, her head shot up at the unwelcome intrusion. Her eyes narrowed on him, dangerously so. It was him. Of course, it was him. Really, she shouldn't be surprised. He always seemed to be around. Under normal circumstances, she actually liked that. But not right now. She didn't want to be around anyone right now, especially him. There was something about him, something that she recognized deep within him, where she knew that he wouldn't let her get away with hiding her pain like so many others did. He'd make her face it, make her deal with it. There was one surefire way of getting rid of him. She'd utilized it often enough with many others in her life. It always worked like a charm. A scowl crossed her face, the look telling him without words that he was clearly not wanted. She bit out angrily, "What the hell are you doing here?"
He held his hands up in supplication, a sure sign of peace, not getting any closer to her right now. He instinctively knew that he shouldn't approach her. Pitching his voice low, he informed her quietly, starting off with a neutral topic, "Rehearsal just finished up."
"So?" she shot back crossly, frowning darkly at him. Her eyes were shimmering shards of ice. There was absolutely no warmth to them at all. She flipped back her hair aggressively, silently daring him to try and converse with her. Judging from the closed off expression on her face, any attempt at conversation wouldn't end well.
Something was definitely wrong with her. She hadn't tossed this amount of hostility towards him in weeks. Come to think of it, she'd never been this hostile towards him before, not even when he'd been annoying the hell out of her on purpose. He wanted to get straight to the heart of the matter, he really did, but he instantly recognized that wouldn't work. Knowing he was taking a chance, he slipped onto the top of the circular table, intentionally keeping a little bit of distance between them. Resting his legs on the bench, he put his hands behind him and leaned back, appearing calm and nonchalant when he was anything but. He didn't try to touch her. She wouldn't want him to; not right now. He would be taking his own life in his own hands if he attempted to. Biting back his sudden worry, he looked out over the deserted courtyard of the café. His words were once again carefully planned out and neutral. "Just think. At this time next week, the opening curtain will be rising on our play."
"What does that have to do with anything?" she snapped, her tone snotty and meant to be antagonizing. She topped it off by releasing a loud sigh of pure disgruntlement, obviously wishing he was anywhere but sitting next to her.
He lifted a shoulder, staying as calm as possible. Reacting would not work with her; it would only provoke her further. It was imperative that he was proactive, not reactive. He really needed to find out what was wrong with her. Her antagonistic behavior was making his concern for her multiply by the second. "Our play is only a week away from opening night, you know. It's next Friday night."
She let out a disdainful snort and frowned out into the empty courtyard. One long glance showed her that there was only one last car in the parking lot. His. Everyone else had trickled out of the school and left. At least he was the only one left here to see her this upset. "What do you think I am? An idiot? I already know that," she replied irritably, rolling her eyes in thinly veiled disgust.
She wasn't in a good mood at all. Most of the people at school would have left her alone to lick her wounds in private. He was one of the only two people in the entire school who would dare to approach her when she was in such an agitated state. The only other person brave enough, or stupid enough, to do so was Cat Valentine. Trying to keep some type of conversation flowing between them, even if it was rather pointless, he pointed out calmly, "It's your first play here, you know. That's got to be exciting."
"Oh my God," she muttered under her breath, completely done with this conversation and his presence. "More information I already knew." Clenching her hands into tight fists, she refused to think that it was actually very kind of him to approach her when she was in such a terrible mood. She couldn't think that now. She'd much rather be furious.
What the hell happened to her from the time she'd left rehearsal? She hadn't been like this then. She'd been content and, dare he say it, happy to talk with him, to be near him. They'd even laughed together before she'd left the theater. He was at a loss; completely and totally. He hated being at a loss. But he wasn't going to leave her like this. He had a feeling that too many people had let her down in her life before. He wasn't about to be another one of them so he pressed gamely on, hoping he was doing the right thing. "I can't wait to see your Hollywood Arts debut. We only have a few more rehearsals left. Then it'll be our final dress rehearsal and finally opening night."
This time, she didn't deign to give him a response. She shot him the fiercest glare she could conjure up, the cool blue of her eyes frosty and frigid, about as warm and inviting as the choppy waters of the Antarctic. It was a look he hadn't seen from her in weeks. And it totally sucked, now that he knew how warm, friendly, and open her eyes could be when she looked at him. Then she dropped her head back and stared up at the darkening sky, refusing to even so much as glance in his direction again. It was clear that she was dismissing him from her presence.
An uncomfortable silence settled over them. He hadn't felt this uncomfortable in her presence in a very long time. Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time she'd made him feel uncomfortable. Choosing to overlook it, realizing she needed something from him but unaware of what that something could possibly be, he searched around for another topic of conversation and, unfortunately for him, settled on the wrong one. He tilted his head to the side and questioned her quietly, slightly shocked it had taken him this long to make this connection, "Hey, aren't you supposed to be at dinner right now?"
She shot up from her spot in a move so fluid and fast he could hardly believe it. She risked one quick look at him, a look filled with a mixture of both anger and frustration. And hurt. There had been an awful lot of hurt swirling around in it. Swearing an impressive string of curse words under her breath, she grabbed her bag and swung it around in a haphazard circle before settling it on her shoulder. She didn't say another word, not wanting to waste a single moment, and spun around swiftly on her booted heels. She nearly sprinted away from him; she was that quick.
Nail on the head. Now he knew without a doubt what was wrong with her. She was surprisingly fast but he was faster. His long strides easily outmatched hers. Reaching out, he grabbed ahold of her elbow, not letting her leave him, and pulled her to a halt. "Hey, stop, Jade. You're not going anywhere."
Snarling, she whipped around, unhappy with the unbreakable hold he had on her. She gave up trying to tug her arm free when she realized it was useless. Obviously, she wasn't going anywhere until he let her go, unless she wanted to take him on and take him down. Right now, she was angry enough. But that would require touching him, in some way, shape or form, and she did not want to do that now. Just because she wasn't tugging against his hold didn't mean she couldn't express her dissatisfaction in another way. Aiming another glare his way, she snapped furiously at him, "What the hell, Beck? Let me go!"
"I will…if you stay," he said, speaking softly and slowly, the way one would to an irritable child, trying so hard not to rile her up any further. When she didn't say anything back, only glared at him mutinously, he slowly dropped his hand from her elbow and held his hands out in front of him again. It actually astonished him when she stayed put and didn't race away the second she was released from his grasp.
Crossing her hands over her chest, she continued to glare at him. The words were automatic. They came out of her mouth without her consciously thinking them. One of her favorite defense mechanisms was in complete control now. Deflection. She didn't care what she said or how the recipient took it. All that mattered was the outcome. She would chase him away and she wouldn't have to deal with what was bothering her. Sounded like a win to her. An empty win but a win nonetheless. "Dude, what the hell are you even trying to do here? I think I've made it pretty clear I don't want to be here with you. It's not like we're friends or anything. I just want to leave."
Wow, she was really good at instigating negative feelings in others. An expert at it, even. She knew exactly where to drive the knife, to score the deepest cut. She must have had a lot of practice at it. He pushed back the hurt at how she claimed they weren't friends. It wouldn't end well if he gave into it. That's what she wanted. It was clear to him that she wanted to provoke a certain response from him. He wasn't going to let her. Putting all of his efforts into staying calm, he remembered she'd told him that her mother was supposed to pick her up from school. He focused on that instead. "How are you getting home?"
She couldn't believe he was overlooking what she'd said to him. She was throwing practically everything she had at him, every weapon she had in her arsenal, just to make him leave her alone. He wasn't responding in the way she expected him to. At all. What the hell? This wasn't how it usually worked. Anytime she went on the offensive, she always won. The poor sap on the receiving end either gave up immediately or ended up in an ocean of tears. "I'll walk," she gritted out through clenched teeth.
"No, you won't. I'll give you a ride," he declared forcefully after giving her a long, cool, unflinching stare. He actually saw her bristle when he said that.
"Damn it, Beck! I don't need your charity. I don't need your help. I'm a big girl. I can get home by myself, thank you very much." She held his gaze before pivoting on her heels, intent on starting the long walk from the school to her house, to prove to him that she could take care of herself and that she didn't need him. She was Jade West. She didn't need anyone.
He didn't stop her with his hand this time. His voice, pitched calm, low and intentionally soothing, halted her instead. "Jade."
She stopped after taking two steps away and turned back to stare at him. Sucking in a deep breath, she stomped swiftly forward until she stood in front of him, booted toe to booted toe. "Seriously, what is your problem? I don't need your help. I don't want your help. Leave me alone."
The night was encroaching upon them; all dark, cool, and purple twilight. The sun was long gone now. Deepening shadows were approaching, broken only by the artificial light from the street lamps dotted around them. She fit in with so well with it; the setting was that perfect. Dark hair, dark expression, and those bright, burning eyes. Intense. He so wanted to soothe her, so wanted to help her, but he couldn't. Not yet. She had to let him in first. He wasn't sure how to accomplish that. But there was one thing he knew for certain. She was not walking home alone, especially at night. He'd let her yell nonsense at him the entire way home before he'd let her do that. His brown eyes bore into hers. This time, his tone wasn't so easy, practically daring her to contradict him. "I'm giving you a ride home."
She rolled her eyes again before she pointed a finger at him and huffed, "Don't expect me to talk to you."
Damn, she never gave up. She was determined to be unpleasant until the bitter end. He wanted to hold her. Since his hands ached to pull her into a comforting embrace, he tucked them into the front pockets of his jeans instead, one hand fisting over the keys in his pocket. He agreed with her easily, unwilling to drop his gaze from her face. "You don't have to say a word the entire way."
"Don't you dare try to placate me. And don't you dare tell me what to do," she ordered him but her voice wasn't quite as forceful or as threatening as it had been before. There had even been a bit of a tremble to it. She knew she was being unreasonable, she really did, but she couldn't help it. She hated people seeing weakness in her; absolutely despised it. And she was too close to breaking. She never broke in front of someone before. Never. It only happened when she'd been blissfully alone, usually within the confines of her bedroom. She'd learned that if she kept pushing back, and harder, people (namely her parents) would let her be. She so wanted to be left alone right now.
There was something different in her expression now. Something softer; almost heartbroken. It made any remaining frustration he'd been experiencing with her dissipate into the cooler evening air. "We can get dinner on the way," he spoke the words gently, softly. "Maybe take-out?"
A disdainful snort served as her answer, letting him take it as an affirmative or a negative. At the moment, she didn't particularly care either way. Her glare wasn't as potent as it had been but she still wasn't completely calm. She was still deeply pissed off at her mother. She wasn't at him, though. She never had been. He'd merely been collateral damage after he'd crashed, uninvited, through her solitude.
She wasn't breathing fire anymore. That had to be a good thing. Although, with the disintegration of her anger, she seemed to be deflating right before his very eyes. It was such a contrast from when he saw her before rehearsal started. He couldn't help but remember how happy and excited she'd looked when she told him about her plans with her mother and compare it to the almost broken way that she looked now. Damn, he hated her parents. Like, seriously hated them. He didn't say anything; didn't commiserate with her or ask her to explain how she was feeling. Not now. He went on instinct instead. Plus, he just needed to do it for himself. Not even considering how she would take it, he reached out and pulled her forward into his arms. "I'm sorry," he murmured into her ears, automatically knowing she would understand what he was apologizing for. Her mother wasn't here to do it so he would do it for her. "I'm so sorry."
Oh, damn it. Damn it all. He'd just cut straight through her. She wanted to pull her fury back up and over her, making it cover her again like a well-worn cape, but she couldn't, not with his arms wound so tightly around her. Somehow, he had chased it all away. Somehow, he'd broken through her defenses. And somehow, there wasn't anything left for her to defend now. All that was left was raw and real and needed to be faced. She felt an unwelcome sob well up from within her, painful and sad. Before she could swallow it back down, it came out. Loud and undeniable. And, for the first time ever, uncontrollable. It was like a dam had broken within her. Before she knew it, another one came and then she was sobbing loudly, her face buried deep within his chest.
Well, this wasn't what he'd expected to have happen. Quietly, softly, he brought his hands up and slowly started running his hands up and down her back. The tension she'd been holding seemed to dissolve underneath his fingertips. She melted even further into him, her arms coming up to wrap around his waist and hold on to him. There wasn't any more hostility or anger from her anymore. It was all gone, as if it had never even existed. Grateful that she wasn't pushing him away or assaulting him in some other inventive way only she could dream up, he leaned forward, whispering soft and comforting sounds into her ear, hoping to soothe, wanting to comfort. And absolutely driven to protect. "Shhh, shhh, babe," he repeated to her, over and over again in a gentle whisper. "It'll be okay. It'll be okay. I promise. I'll make it okay."
The whispered words penetrated her display of sadness, even as she continued to cry. He'd called her babe. Again. There was no question about it. She was now convinced that he must have called her that right after the accident last week at rehearsal. She gripped him a little tighter, holding on almost desperately, and wondering the entire time while the tears continued to flow why the hell he kept coming after her. What the hell did he see in her? No one, and she meant absolutely no one, ever kept trying with her. Not her family, not anyone from her peer group from any school she had ever attended. Even the majority of her teachers gave her a wide berth. She'd always been alone. Cat, sweet, loyal, happy Cat, didn't count. She was obviously immune to anything Jade could dish out. She couldn't help but be thankful for him and his persistence, an unusual feeling for her to experience. She was never thankful for anything. She was too used to people letting her down. Then she started to feel embarrassed, remembering a few of the harsher things she had flung at him when she'd been trying to unsuccessfully push him away. Her sobs quieted down. As much as she hated to blush, she couldn't prevent the red flush as it smeared its way across her face. Keeping her head hidden from his view, not wanting him to see it, she spoke directly into his shirt. Feeling remorse totally sucked. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Her voice was low and muffled. He almost missed what she said. When it registered what she said, he couldn't prevent the mile-wide grin from splitting his face. He was rather grateful she couldn't see it. She wouldn't appreciate it. Not right now. Knowing it was safe to do so, he rested his chin on top of her head and pressed her to him tighter, before assuring her quietly, "It's all right. My skin's pretty thick."
"It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." She actually smiled slightly against the soft fabric of his shirt. He felt the movement against him. Taking a deep breath, she apologized softly for what she considered the worst thing she had said to him, "I'm sorry I said we weren't friends."
His smile grew even wider. Admittedly, that one had stung. He hadn't liked hearing her say it. His arms tightened reflexively around her, steel bands holding her to him. They were friends, he knew it. He also knew that they were something more than merely friends, whether either one of them wanted to acknowledge it yet or not. It seemed like they were each biding their time. At least, he hoped they both were. He knew what he was waiting for: the end of the play. It was in sight, only a weekend away. Whispering huskily near her ear, he told her, speaking the truth, "I knew you didn't mean it."
"Still. I shouldn't have said it." She let out a small breath. Closing her eyes, she dredged up the courage to push herself off from him. His firm hold only let her go so far. Staring up into his face for the first time since her outburst, she gave him a tiny smile, unaware that there were still wet tears drying on her skin or a few messy lines of black mascara trailing down her face. "You didn't deserve it. You caught me at a bad moment. I don't always handle disappointment very well."
"I told you. It's okay." Because he liked to touch her, very much so, he trailed a finger along the curve of her cheek, wiping away the last of her remaining tears. He couldn't do anything about the mascara.
"No, it's not." She let out a shuddering breath before admitting in a small attempt to be playful, picking on herself and her rather abrasive personality, "I'm not always sweet and sunny, you know."
"You're kidding me. I never would have known," he responded drily, letting out a chuckle when she glared back at him. This time, her glare carried no heat. It was more teasing than anything else, the way she usually glared at him. It only made him chuckle more. He threaded a hand through her long hair, playing with it lightly, and so glad they had made it through the emotional storm. "I'm sorry your plans with your mom didn't work out."
"I honestly shouldn't be surprised." She stared hard down at the ground, only bringing her eyes up to him after he put a knuckle under her chin and lifted her face back up. Sighing softly, she admitted in a tiny voice that was so unlike her normal one, "It's the story of my life. I told you before, my parents really do suck. As a general rule, my dad sucks much more than my mom. Tonight's the rare exception."
The look in her eyes was absolutely killing him. He couldn't help it. She looked so disappointed, so dejected. So unwanted, like she wasn't worthy of anything or anyone. He didn't like seeing her this way. He tugged her back to him once more, making her let out a small squeal of surprise at the unexpected motion, and engulfed her in another warm, protective embrace. He wasn't sure if the hug was more for her or for him this time around. Either way, he enjoyed it. Without realizing it, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, inwardly promising himself that he would never make her feel unwanted or dejected. Or unworthy. She would know where she stood with him. Always. Wanting to change the subject, knowing she had shared about as much as she possibly could with him, he asked, "You still want to get something for dinner, right?"
The pressure of the slight kiss made the edges of her lips turn up at the corners. It warmed her, more than she ever thought possible. What the hell was it about him? How did he always know how to make her feel better? She didn't have the answers to either question. He might, if she was brave enough to ask him. For once, she decided not to let her thoughts consume her, to simply enjoy the moment. Instead, she let out a laugh. It was tiny and wasn't filled to the brim with good cheer but it was still a laugh nonetheless. "Take-out, for sure."
"Got it." He slung an arm over her shoulder, pulling her next to him, and pointed with his free hand towards the parking lot. "My car's over there. We'll get dinner. You can pick where. Then we can go back to…my RV?" he suggested hopefully.
She did not want to go to her house. Not yet, anyway. Hanging out at his place sounded ideal. "Yeah, that sounds good. I don't want to go home. Not right now." Not that she would see her mother anyway. Their house was so big and her mom was so busy that they could go days without seeing each other.
"I'll bring you home afterwards. Any time you like. You can stay with me as long as you want." He started walking back through the café, on their way to the parking lot. She went along with him, feeling surprisingly calm and comfortable considering the rollercoaster of emotions she'd just gone through, still tucked protectively under his arm. He felt her slight nod of agreement against him and gave a goofy grin in response she couldn't see because she was looking ahead instead of at him. It looked like his Friday evening wasn't going to be as dull as he'd expected it to be. Judging from the little smile dancing across her face, he correctly guessed that her evening was going much better now than it had been a few minutes earlier. It also appeared that their string of spending Friday evenings together wasn't going to be broken this week, either. He could have done without the emotional storm she'd just gone through but he was intuitive enough to realize that it had only drawn them closer to each other than they had been before. As he stared down at the halo of her dark hair, he realized that he liked being closer to her, in any possible form of its definition. Physically and emotionally.
Author's Note:
Once again, a huge heart-felt thank you to all of you who continue to read and also who review this story! I seriously cannot tell you enough how much it means to me! Thank you!
This chapter here came out of nowhere. It completely caught me by surprise. It was totally not what I was expecting to write when I first started writing it a few days ago. I was supposed to be writing the next chapter and this came out instead! Honestly, I kind of love it when I get surprised by an unexpected chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks again!