A/N: I'm from the Caribbean so if all this talk about snow is inaccurate I apologise
Sesshomaru sat on his futon listening to the winds of the blizzard howling outside his window. The lone candle illuminating his chamber was growing dim but his heart weighed his mind and body down and rendered him immobile. His amber eyes were dull and glossy as the emotions raging within him threatened to consume his very being. He had come to genuinely hate this time of year. Where the hypnotic silence among the trees and ice capped mountain tops once relaxed his soul; where the warmth of his home once comforted his body, they only served to remind him of her
And the fact that she was gone forever.
For months he'd have constant reminders of her jump out at him at the worst times. When he ate and especially when he slept he'd be affronted by the fact that she would never again grace his home with her presence. The crunch of ice beneath his boots when he was on patrol brought up fond memories of her stumbling through the snow to great him, the winter sunlight was reminiscent of her radiant smile, and the nights of her inky tresses. Where he once organized his mind looking out into the horizon they were now bombarded with thoughts of her eyes and how they never lacked emotion. Her voice- oh God her voice. The rustle of leaves, the birds, the flow of a stream; anything with a soft melody would trigger memories of conversations they had, but the worst of all was the wind. He'd hear her song in the breeze filled with wishes only he could fulfill but chose not to because of his foolish pride. He had chosen his honor over her happiness and let her marry his half brother after her return from the well and as if the fates themselves had been angered by him, she died in childbirth. If it wasn't for his pride then he would have remained in the village when Inuyasha chased him out and he would have been there with Tenseiga to revive her. His heart clenched as her gravesite flashed before his eyes, flowers muted and wilting in the autumn chill. Moroha was her name; she looked just like her mother. His last visit to that village had been three years ago when the girl smiled at him. It had ultimately been his undoing as he had barely spoken a word since.
His eyes flickered over to the candlelight as a knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. The scent of blood reached his nose moments before a servant entered with what looked like a dead rabbit. She set the plate down before him then picked up the candle stick and left the room. He sat there in the dark unmoving, eyes focused on nothing in particular. The anger in the winds had died off and left behind a dull whisper. A tear made its way down his cheek as the whisper slowly gained a melody. It was her song, the one she sang every winter in her quiet moments for six years and the one he'd been trying to run from for three. Tonight though, he didn't have the strength to hide from it or fight it. No, tonight more than anything, he missed her and he wanted her to know. He closed his eyes and let the words ghost over him at their sedate pace. If he focused, it almost sounded like she was whispering in his ear
Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars
"I.. wanted to"
His voice had become hoarse with disuse and came out barely as a whisper, but he knew she heard.
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars
More tears began to flow as his chest tightened "I...would have..taken you there"
In other words, hold my hand
"Always" the sob escaped his lips as he fell to his side, the weight of his mistake becoming too much to bear
In other words, baby kiss me
His breath was coming in short bursts but he managed to force out the word
"Forever"
Fill my heart with song, let me sing forever more
The image of her smiling among the flowers in his garden appeared in his mind's eye. At least he had done that right
You are all I long for all I worship and adore. In other words, please be true
"I still am" his voice trembled as red eyes opened to find her laying on the floor smiling next to him in the glow of the light from outside. He shakily reached out to brush away a stray strand of hair but when he blinked away the tears, she wasn't there.
In other words, I love you
He couldn't hold it back anymore. He cried- he cried out for every year of his life that he hated humans, howled for the day he realised he loved her but did nothing about it, he almost screamed for the child they'd never have together
"Forgive me Kagome. I love you too"
Word count: 862
Prompt: Snow