A/N – I don't really know how many people are actually going to read this chapter. It has been 2 years since I last posted on this story. And what a strange 2 years it has been for me. But something made me feel the need to finish this story. No, this chapter is not the end. But I will be rounding this story off soon. And our leading ladies will be having their happy ending soon – EMMA'S VIEW
Chapter 29: Stick The Kettle On
"I love you Mija."
"I love you too Daddy." His eyes shut closed again…and then the long beep came. And I couldn't cope anymore. "Daddy?" I lost it. "No!" I felt Emma wrap her arms around me. I remember feeling numb. I remember screaming. And crying. I remember Emma holding me. The feeling of her keeping me close and the sound of her crying with me. Everything seemed to go by in slow motion. The doctors came in. They turned off the machine. I couldn't really hear what they were saying. I didn't need to. I watched as they pulled the sheet up and over his head. And my entire world stopped.
"No!" I screamed one last time.
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She had been broken. I lost both my parents before I even got to know them. I couldn't imagine losing a parent I loved and had known all my life. I don't think anyone could understand what that feels like until it happens. I don't even know what she needs right now. She tries to carry on as though nothing is wrong, but I see her sitting on the bench outside when I walk in. I watch as she wipes her tears away and walks back inside as if it didn't happen. I listen as she breaks down in the bathroom. Trying to hide her pain from the world. I know Regina is a strong woman. But the person she is being right now is not the strong woman I have come to know and love. This person is not my queen.
But she won't let me help her. She never really has. She has never wanted to accept help from anyone in her life ever unless it was her Father. And now the only person who knew how to help her is gone. It had been almost a week. The funeral was in another week's time. And the closer we got to the date, the more closed off from the world she becomes. All I wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. I wanted to take all the pain away and make her feel like the world was a safe place again. But I knew I couldn't. I knew she didn't want to hear any of it. She wouldn't believe me if I did.
I heard the post come through the door. Regina never flinched. Normally she would run to get it. But she was terrified she would see papers from the bank asking her what she would like to do with the money. So, I went to collect it. And on top of the pile was a hand written letter to me. And in the top left corner it said, 'Open alone Mija'. And I knew who it was from. I don't know how, and I don't know why. But it was. Somehow, he managed to sort this for me. I put the letters down on the table and made my way outside. I checked on Regina on my way out and she was cooking. She was always cooking. It seemed like the only thing that kept her occupied and happy recently.
I closed the doors behind me and sat down on the bench. The bench that Regina had spent many hours crying on. I opened the letter carefully and pulled out the hand written letter from the man I expected it to be from. It read,
My Dearest Emma,
Over these past months I have come to know you as a daughter of my own. I regret I never got the chance to call you a daughter truly. I hope one day you can make that dream of mine a reality. But I needed to say to you, look after my Mija. I know exactly what she is going to be feeling right now. Lost. Broken. Confused. And I don't blame her. I've been there for her through every bad day in her life. And at this time, the time when she needs me the most, I can't be there for her. So, I need you to be there for her.
Now if I know my daughter, she will be cooking and baking. You'll have more food than you know what to do with.
I had to giggle to myself. He really did know his daughter well.
But that is how she copes. And right now, it is your job to be there for her. Be there with her. Now I never knew how to bake before Regina was born. But as she got older, I learnt. I learnt with her. Because she baked. And she doesn't like baking alone. She likes to have people with her. Someone to hold her hand while she stirs the batter. Someone to brush her hair back when she forgets to tie it up. Someone to make her giggle by throwing flour in her face when she's sticking her tongue out because she is focusing so hard.
Regina has never had a normal childhood. She has never had a normal life. That is something she desperately needs. And I believe that you can give her that. In the envelope is my Mother's ring. I was meant to give it to Cora for our wedding band, but she always said it was too small. So, I now pass the ring on to you. Regina will never be the one to ask the question. She has never felt safe enough to have that kind of stability. But I know my daughter. And she has never felt safer than when she is with you.
You have become an important part of this family. And I hope one day you can make your own family. And I know Regina always wished the person who marries her, asked my permission before proposing. This is me giving you my blessing. I love my Mija. And I love you. Do right by my daughter. And you will forever do right by the memory of me.
Live a happy life. And live a happy life with my daughter.
All my love to you both
Henry
I looked inside the envelope and my heart stopped. There it was. A ring. A wedding ring. Henry was right though, it wasn't that big, but it was beautiful. It was perfect. I couldn't help but look at it for a moment. And then I looked back at the letter. As I was reading it again though, I heard Regina in the kitchen. I walked in and she was starting a new batch of muffins. She had already stuck her lasagne in the oven, and she had moved onto baking. I looked at the letter. Looked at the ring. And then looked up to Regina. And I knew exactly what to do. I put the ring in my pocket along with the letter. Walked into the kitchen and stood opposite Regina at the kitchen counter.
She was weighing out her ingredients. As she was leaning over though she kept having to brush her hair out from her face. I moved around the counter and brushed my fingers through Regina's hair. Holding her hair in one of my hands, I stood next to her and gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek. And I felt her shoulders relax. I hadn't felt that for an awfully long time. She hadn't let herself relax for so long. I thought about the letter and what Henry told me to do to make her smile. And I thought they were all so sweet. But at the same time, I didn't want to do it all the same. I wanted to make Regina smile. Not remind her of what she has just lost.
I decided I was going to do something more Emma styled to make her giggle. I dipped my free hand into the flour Regina had poured into the bowl. She stopped what she was doing instantly. Watching my hand, I let go of Regina's hair and turned around. I swung my hand around and down and landed it on Regina's ass. And left behind on her skin-tight black jeans was a perfect print of my hand. Regina gasped and looked at her ass. And then straight at me. I was worried at first that it was too much. That she was still too fragile. But slowly I watched a smile break out across her face, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief myself. I watched as Regina put her hands in the bowl of flour and picked up and pile of it. And threw it directly in my face.
I stood there for a second. Eyes closed. Mouth shut. And I heard the laugh. The giggle that I had so greatly missed. I blew a puff of flour from my mouth and slowly opened my eyes. I felt the flour dropping from my face, but I saw the brightness that was on Regina's face. She held her flour covered hands up to her face to hide her smile. But there was no hiding that smile. I could see it bright as day from a mile away. It was her smile. It was my angels smile and I never wanted to go a day without seeing that smile again. I moved closer to Regina and placed my hands on her hips. And she placed hers around my face. And I kissed her. I kissed her. Properly. Passionately. Deeply. I hadn't been able to do that for so long. But she was back. And she was mine. We separated and smiled at each other. And then finally, Regina spoke to me.
"I love you." She held me so close. And so tight.
"I love you too." I held her as close to me as I could. And then I felt it. The shaking. And I heard it. The crying. She had yet to let go. And I finally got her to relax enough that she could let go. Let go of it all.
"I miss him." She sobbed into my shoulder. And I brushed her hair and held her close. I was not going to let go until she wanted me to. "I miss him so much."
"I know. I miss him too." Her whole body gave out all at once. I felt her lean into me, and I fell to the floor holding her. I would never let her go. I made her that promise. And I was never going to break it.
"Why did he have to leave me?" She screamed as the tears kept flooding down her face. And it broke my heart to hear them coming from her. But she needed to feel it. And I'm glad she felt safest to feel it with me. "He's my Daddy. He is always meant to be there for me." I thought about the note. I thought about what Henry told me.
"I know. But this was always going to be the one thing he couldn't be with you for. But I am here. I am with you. And I will not leave you." Regina pulled back slightly and looked at me. There were tears streaming down her face, but she quickly broke out into a smile. I looked at her completely confused.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I really am heartbroken; these tears are real. But you have a face covered in flour and you look ridiculous right now and it's making me laugh harder than I am crying." I couldn't help but laugh with her. I wiped my hands down my face to try and take some of the flour off my face. I looked at Regina once more and she was still smiling with tears running down her face. And yet she still looked beautiful.
"I have missed you so much." I couldn't help it. It just fell out. But it was true. It's like she hasn't been here since her dad passed and I can't even blame her for it. I really do understand how much this has taken from her. But I need her back. I need to help bring her back. And piece by piece I will do just that. I will help her put herself back together until she is some where she is happy to be again.
"I know. And I'm sorry." I placed my hands on her face and made sure she looked right at me.
"Don't you dare apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for. I am here for you. You stayed by my bed side every day when I was in the hospital. And I will stay by your side every day whilst you are healing. Whilst you are getting better. But I just had to say, I missed you. I missed your laugh. Your smile. Your touch." At that, she lifted her own hands to my face. Our foreheads resting against each other. "But I am here. And I am not going anywhere." We sat on the floor for a minute. No words. No sounds. We just held each other. And then I felt Regina take a deep breath.
"Why don't we go and get in the bath? I can turn the temperature down on the lasagne and it should be ready for dinner afterwards." I simply nodded my head against hers. And we slowly got ourselves off the floor. But never letting go of each other. "We can clean this up later." Regina gestured over the counter and the floor. She didn't really seem to have much passion or stress over the kitchen. But something like this would normally drive her insane. But one step at a time. If she says it isn't bothering her and she doesn't want to let my hand go, I will do exactly what she wants.
"Okay. Come on then." I gave her hand a little tug and we started making our way up the stairs. And I had the feeling that tonight, when we went to bed, I would actually be holding my girlfriend as we go to sleep. I wouldn't be staying a foot away from her scared I would break her. I wouldn't keep myself up half the night thinking she was going to have a night terror and need me to calm her down. Tonight, it would be just her and me. Holding each other. And sleeping with each other in our arms.
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A/N – Maybe 3 or 4 more chapters left. I'm glad you have stayed for the ride. And I will hopefully finish the journey for you soon. I'll catch you guys next time.