Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Ghost: Relationships

Poe woke up slightly disoriented. It took him a moment to realize he was on the floor in the cockpit. He realized quickly what had woken him up: Kaila was next to him tossing and turning. He gently stroked her arm. "Kai? Babe?"

Kaila jerked up quickly, her skin a paler green than normal. "I was doing it again?"

Poe nodded. He drew her close to him, nuzzling her lekku with his cheek. "This is the third night in a row you've been thrashing around like this. What's going on?"

"It's the ship." Kaila sighed, closing her eyes, leaning against him. "I can feel it. Too many people crammed into too small of a space. And there's so much confusion and fear. Ben... Rey... The younglings... They're putting out so many raw emotions. It's throwing me off... Making me restless. I'm trying to shut it out, but it's hard."

Poe tightened his embrace. Kaila always slept soundly beside him. If she were so restless, it must have been affecting her deeply. He nuzzled against her. This made Kaila giggle softly. "Your beard tickles."

Pulling back, Poe rubbed his chin. His facial hair had gotten quite thick. "Do you think I should get rid of it?"

" No !" Kaila answered a little too quickly, making Poe laugh.

He bowed his head, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder. He then playfully nibbled at her skin. "So is this a fetish I should worry about? I've seen your holodocs. You really like doing them about Jedi Masters with beards..."

"My feelings for Master Kenobi are pure. And you are the one who reaps the benefits."

Poe nuzzled his nose and cheek against Kaila's lekku. "So what does it feel like?"

Kaila reached back and stroked his hair. "Your beard against my lekku? So sexy, I'd jump you now if I wasn't so out of sorts."

"Not that. The Force." He had known her for so long. He felt so deeply for her. But in some ways she was a mystery. Being a Jedi was so important to her life, but he didn't really understand it. It hadn't bothered him. Before when he saw Kaila it was just about fun. But things had changed. He couldn't ignore something that was so vital to her life. "The only time I've felt the Force is when you showed me that vision and when Kylo Ren read my mind. But I know it's different for you. I want to... I need to... I want to know what it's like for you."

Kaila covered Poe's hand with hers. He could feel the ring on her finger. "You've never asked me that before."

"I'm asking now."

She let out a small sigh. "It's like... The galaxy is connected together with these invisible threads. But I can touch them. It connects me to everything. I can feel everything... Good, bad... Light, dark... People think the Jedi are wizards, but we're more like... connection points. The threads flow through us. We're just a small part of the Force, but we can feel out way through it. But right now... All of the confusion and fear on this ship... It's like when you suddenly come out of hyperspace into an asteroid field. Everything is disorienting and painful and jerking you around..."

Poe wasn't sure he really understood what Kaila was saying. It would probably make perfect sense to another Jedi. Was her interest in him a lack of options? She had dated that Durron. "I must seem pretty simple in comparison."

"Not at all. After I woke up from the holocron incident, I felt this steady thrum throughout my body. At first I thought maybe I was still injured. But then I realized what it was..." She pulled out of Poe's arms and turned around, pressing a hand to his bare chest. She tapped a finger in time with his heart. "It stays with me. Keeps me calm. Keeps me anchored. I don't know what I'd be feeling right now with these out of control kid feelings without that. Without you. You have a beautiful heart, Poe Dameron. You're brave. And smart. And funny. And giving... Not to mention incredibly sexy. There's nothing simple about that. It's extraordinary."

Kaila's fingers crept up Poe's chest, hooking beneath the empty chain around his neck. "This doesn't look right." She unhooked the chain before slipping the ring off her finger and sliding it back onto the chain. She held it up to him. "We keep forgetting to do this."

" Did we forget?" Poe asked. He covered his hand with hers. "I always knew where it was."

"I keep advising Ben to go slow," Kaila whispered. "What kind of master would I be if I couldn't heed my own advice?"

"Fifteen years is fast to you?" Poe gently squeezed Kaila's hand.

"Things have only been different for a few weeks and you know it." Kaila's hand slipped away, leaving him holding his necklace. "And it's been intense and I've been happy being with you... But it'll change once the mission is over. You have to go back to your command and I'll need to keep training Ben. What if..."

Poe leaned in closer. "What if what? Kai, you said it yourself... We're not kids. So let's cut the bantha dung: I love you. If we want a relationship, we have to actually say we want it, actually try. Since you woke up, I've been calling you my girlfriend and it's felt right . I'm not about to stop doing that and jump into bed with someone else because you've got to go off and teach Ben Solo how to be a good person. I can be patient."

Kaila laughed. "You are the opposite of patient."

Poe smirked. "Okay, maybe I'll ask you for some dirty holos of yourself. The point is, I can wait for you to come back to the base and be with me. If the Force has put my heart with you... We should listen to it." He held up the chain. "Putting this on you- even just for a mission- felt right."

"I can't wear that on my finger yet," Kaila admitted. "It's too soon."

"Okay." Poe slipped the chain around her neck, clasping it. He pressed a kiss to the swell of her breast where the ring lay. "Wear it there. It looks good on you."

Kaila stroked Poe's hair. "You sure about this?"

Poe nodded against her. "Until you're ready to wear it somewhere else... This is fine." He raised his head and smiled at her.

Kaila leaned down and kissed him sweetly. "But now you don't have anything around your neck. You've been wearing this as long as I've known you!"

"I'll get used to it eventually." Poe shrugged. But he did feel naked without anything around his neck.

"Wait-" Kaila reached out to her pack, which rested against the wall. They had brought some of their things into the cockpit so not to unduly disturb the younglings. She dug into the pack, searching around. She soon pulled out a chain. A sliver of blue crystal hung from it. "Ezra's first lightsaber was destroyed by Darth Vader. The crystal in it was broken into two pieces. Completely useless as a focusing gem. But he kept it. When I was born, he made this out of a part of it. The other half is with Jai. Neither of us ever wore them. It never felt right. But now I know why... Jai gave his to his wife..."

She clasped the chain around Poe's neck. The crystal fell exactly where the ring once had. "And I was supposed to give mine to you."

Poe touched the small crystal sliver. "A kyber crystal... But these are priceless!"

"And so is your mother's wedding ring, you nerfherder!" Kaila laughed and gave him a playful shove.

Poe pressed Kaila back onto the puff-cot and slunk on top of her. "Okay, I hope you're feeling a bit better. Because you and me... We're doing this." He grinned at her. "I'm actually fairly sure it's galactic law that we have sex after exchanging necklaces."

"Well, if it's law..." She continued to laugh as he kissed her. "But really? In the cockpit?"

"There's nowhere else for us, Babe. Besides... It's a bit of a fantasy of mine." Poe nipped her jaw. "So are you up for it?"

"I love you," she said between laughs.

Poe grinned as he kissed her once again. "When we get back to base, I've got an X-Wing cockpit we'll have to break in."

Finn sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the frozen holo of Zeroes. It hadn't been long since Finn had seen him. Not really. But it seemed like a lifetime ago.

He and Zeroes were the only ones left. Slip had died in Finn's arms on Jakku. Nines had been killed on Takodana, after he and Finn had fought. Finn could still hear his vocoded voice in his head.

Traitor .

He had run from the FN Corps and never looked back. Zeroes had left the First Order, but he hadn't abandoned his brothers. He'd brought the Corps with him.

Maybe if Finn had waited a bit, he would've gone with them. Finn wondered... Had they been at all inspired by what he had done? Did Finn leaving make them realize that they didn't need to be beholden to the Order?

He never hated them. He hated the First Order, but the stormtroopers were still his brothers. They were just like him. They hadn't know anything but serving the First Order. If things had just been a little different, he would still be with them. Zeroes had been so hesitant to fire... Eventually he'd given in, but there was hope.

Now they'd broken away.

Finn had become fiercely loyal to his friends in the Rebellion. Poe and Rey and Rose were the most important people in his life. But that didn't change how he felt about the FN Corps. You couldn't easily toss away twenty years of brotherhood.

He felt gentle hands on his shoulders. Rose leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him. "Are you still looking at that?"

"What if the General doesn't think it's worth going after them?" Finn asked, caressing Rose's arm.

Rose kissed him on the cheek. "Then she's not as smart as we think she is. A stormtrooper unit who has defected and have a fully operational Star Destroyer? The Rebellion could use that kind of firepower."

"But what if she does say no?"

Rose crawled over the bed to sit down beside Finn. She took the holo from his hand and set it aside, taking his hands. "It's really important to you, isn't it? Not strategically. Just... Personally."

"This is the first time they've had a choice," Finn replied. He squeezed Rose's hands. "I want them to make the right choice. I know the Rebels just shoot at stormtroopers like they're mindless drones... Nothing but armor... But I've seen their faces. I was one of them. They're people who have never had a choice in any of this."

"If General Organa says no, we'll find a way." Rose smiled up at him. "We won't let this go. You know you've got me to help. And Poe and Rey and Ben and Kaila. None of us we'll let this go."

Finn smiled warmly at Rose. He brought up a hand to caress her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. "You'd go against General Organa for me?"

"I'd go against anybody for you," Rose replied. She kissed him back.

Finn sank into the sensations of kissing Rose. They were still exploring the physical side of their relationship. He'd never been with anyone before. The stormtrooper program wasn't exactly a good place for romance, especially if you were interested in girls. Female troopers were few and far between. But Rose was patient with him, letting him explore their relationship slowly. They'd been sharing a bed for over two weeks. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back to sleeping alone once they returned to base.

"We're a couple of days away from base," Rose murmured against his mouth. "First thing we do when we get there will be to talk to her about this."

Finn thought about Ben and his lengthy estrangement, not to mention everything he'd done while he'd been Kylo Ren. "You know... I think General Organa is going to be pretty busy once we get back."

Ben sat hunched over the table in the lounge. Chopper watched over him, warbling softly.

"I'm trying to do something," Ben snapped at the droid. "Don't distract me."

Chopper whistled and waved his pincer at Ben in what he was fairly certain was supposed to be a rude gesture. He shook his head and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

There was such a myth surrounding the creation of a lightsaber. The techniques to do it were closely protected. While most non-Jedi thought it must have been incredibly complicated, using the Force to create these intricate components, it was actually fairly simple. The most difficult part of the endeavor was acquiring the kyber crystal focusing gem. The rest was just power cells and wires and a case.

Master Bridger had parts left in his bunk. Rey had given them to Ben. He also had what was left of his previous lightsaber, although he preferred to use as little of that one as possible.

Ben took the crystal off of the rope from around his neck. He immediately missed the weight of it. But he'd done what he wanted to do. He'd purified the crystal.

No... Not just him. They had done it. Him and Rey.

He carefully placed the crystal into its compartment and closed up the casing. He turned it over in his hands, examining it. He placed his thumb on the power switch and took a deep breath.

The vividly violet blade thrummed to life. Ben looked it over closely. It wasn't jagged and untamed like his old lightsaber. The beam was crisp and clean.

It was so rare to feel his lips curve in a smile, but they did as he turned off the lightsaber. Maybe it was a small step, but it was still a step in the right direction.