24
"Are you serious?" Kathy rose from her chair and looked at him with her shoulders slumped in defeat, then she nodded "Right then. No. It's not. Its mine. Fuck you!"
She walked from the room as he stood there confused with himself, her … everything. Dwight rose and followed her to the bedroom where she was starting to pack things. She was serious. She was moving into Elvira's room.
"He doesn't mean it" Dwight counselled, her grabbing her arms "He is being a dick because he can't compute. Give him a second. Please… he is just… in shock."
"How can he even say that!" she wailed.
"When I was told about my first… I asked if it was going to be a baby" Dwight snorted. "Like, what the fuck else would it be? Stupid man. I meant to ask boy or girl. Sometimes the brain has a fart. Come on. Sit, breathe. Let him come find you and … give him a shot at this. He wanted to be a dad so bad, accepted it would never happen, especially now. Then boom. A lot of shit in the last six months or so love… give him a chance."
"Kat?"
She turned her head to see him in the doorway, Dwight patting her shoulder gently as he went to leave and as he passed Douglas in the doorway he punched him in the shoulder. Hard. Douglas yelped and rubbed at it knowing he deserved that.
He sat next to her on the bed "Are you… god. What a stupid question. Of course you are sure. That's the bump… god. I called you fat!"
"I have been trying to tell you… each time it sort of gets lost in the fight to just… live. Also, deep down… there was the terrible thought that once I say it out loud, it will stop being true. You know? I might lose it like I lost all the other attempts, be a failure at something else. After losing Sally and her baby… god. Dwight has been taking it hard, his decision not to be on watch that day … he still thinks he could have saved her… saved the baby. The little boy is an orphan now, just his uncle Mark and us. Is a baby the right thing to bring into this madness?"
Douglas nodded morosely then said gently "What else do we live for if not the hope of a tomorrow?"
"So" she said calmly as she turned to fully face him "Was it that assistant rushing home to her husband and kids the night it all went tits up?"
"Does it matter?"
"No. Not really."
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Everyone was excited and delighted when Douglas proudly made the announcement, some even feigning surprise even if they had already guessed long before he had ever known. Silly man. Typical. A medical man, didn't see it.
"All those baby things we got for Sally and her boy… well" Mark shrugged and Kathy fought the revulsion at the thought of placing her newborn in the same basinet the baby had laid in as it turned.
"No offence but… I want to make my baby's first bassinette. I would like to try my hand at some wood turning" Douglas said as he nodded in the direction of Dwight "I think I could line it with sheepskin, some natural wood… let's get back to basics. Start as we mean to go on? The world has changed… let's embrace it."
"Sounds good to me" Kathy said with relief "Besides… it was his little bassinette. It would seem … wrong."
"Yeah. Yeah, once I said it out loud… I want it under my bed a while longer" Marks agreed, smiling over at little Harry who was playing in the floor with the other kids "Sierra, you have been wonderful with Harry. I do appreciate it."
"Henry loves having a readymade twin like the Ks." She shrugged "What's one more. Honestly, we are all one family now love."
"Right, I am going to check the outer perimeter" Dwight rose and painted at Kathy, "You can't do that now we know ya mad mare!"
Kathy grinned and nodded accepting her benching for the time being. Finally having it said out loud made things so much more bearable. Douglas beaming with pride as he promised to take on more of the security work so his wife could settle to enjoy the last trimester or so of her pregnancy. He was now secretly ashamed of himself for not seeing what was right in front of him.
Even if a little angered that she had held back for so long.
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Kathy sat with Sierra watching the children play, laughter and snow balls as they enjoyed that space between the storm that had passed a few day ago and the next one around the corner.
"Is it just me or is this winter harsher than previous ones?" Sierra asked. "It's like … maybe we didn't notice because we had busy lives, just sucked it up… now we have time we are fucking cold?"
"No… I agree. It is colder … it seems to be settled in too, we should be seeing it gone by now, spring bulbs starting, lambs … it's like… it's in stasis still. Weird." Kathy agreed.
"Well, the thaw must be coming soon. My headaches are getting worse… they always mean a change in the atmosphere. Spring is coming, change is inevitable." Sierra rose and fluffed her skirts, so pretty and dainty beside Kathy in her men's comfortable clothing.
Kathy watched her go inside and wondered if she was too masculine sometimes for her own good.
Was that why he had cheated?