The Flower Moon

Year Eight, Chapter Twenty-Four

Don't Leave Me

Renesmee's Point of View

I woke up to the smell of freshly milled wood, cut grass, and motor oil.

Mmmm, that was the smell, Jake's smell, that I loved so much. I've missed it.

Wait a minute. Why was I smelling him now? Jake wasn't here. He was still in La Push and had been for over a month.

When my father few there to bring him home I was furious… at first. I was worried I wouldn't be able to control my thirst and suck him dry as soon as he walked through the door. My family quickly made me see that that was ridiculous. They were all here and my grandfather particularly assured me that not only would they prevent any harm coming to him, but would work night and day, literally 24/7, until they came up with a solution to end my blood-craving.

I believed them, and was excited to see my soulmate again. The next morning I actually got out of bed, showered, brushed my hair, and put on some clean clothes. While I had been occasionally getting up and mindlessly wandering around the house, I hadn't been doing the other things. I still couldn't bring myself to eat anything, but felt much better.

Planting myself by the front door I refused to budge until I saw my father's car pull up. My mother didn't know what flight they would be on, so I wasn't sure when my Jacob would be returning to me, but when he arrived I wanted to be the first one to see him. I wanted him to see me, let him know that I was here… waiting for him, that I loved him. I waited for hours.

I didn't move.

Esme tried to get me to go into the kitchen and eat, Aunt Rose offered me a chair to sit in, Aunt Alice wanted me to return to my room with her to pick out a more appropriate welcome home outfit.

More hours passed. It was getting dark, and as the last of the sun's rays vanished so too did my hope that I would see Jake today.

I was getting tired. My legs hurt from standing still for so long. My eyes were starting to droop. Still I refused to budge.

When the sun started to rise the next morning and my father still hadn't returned with Jake my heart sake. He knew how much Jake meant to me, how much I missed him and how much I needed him. While I'm not proud of it I knew that if Jake had wanted to see me again, even the tiniest little bit my father would have read it in his mind and used it to manipulate him onto a plane. Even if every flight was booked (which first class never was) my father would have chartered a private jet if it saved me a minute of heartache. The fact that they were not here right now meant Jake didn't want to see me.

He must hate me.

"I'll call Edward and see when they'll be getting here," my mother said before my tears could start falling.

"Don't worry about it Nessie," Uncle Emmett chuckled. I didn't see what was funny. I wanted to hear what my father was saying on the other end of the line, but his current shenanigans, bouncing a ball from the floor, to the wall, then up to the ceiling before catching it and re-throwing it, over and over, combined with the noise from the TV my aunts were watching, was making it impossible. "Edward will bring Jacob back here even if he has to break all his bones and carry him back to do it

That did NOT make me feel better.

My mother then slipped her phone back in her pants pocket. "It seems there are some unexpected issues that have to be dealt with." She looked worried.

"What issues?" I had asked her.

She hugged me. "I don't want to upset you any more than you already are, but can you believe me when I say that there reasons for staying has nothing to do with you?"

Though I nodded in agreement, I didn't really believe her; clearly my father was having a hard time convincing Jake to come home either because he was still angry at me or worried I would drink him dry. Both reasons seemed valid to me so I couldn't really blame him.

I ended up crawling back into bed. And stayed there.

That was a week ago; my mom talked to my father on the phone every day, and every night tried to convince me that it would probably only be another day until Jake and I were reunited. I dreamed of him every night but each morning woke up and he still wasn't here.

My brain must be starting to playing tricks on me. I just missed Jake so much that now I thought I could smell him. I guess that wasn't so unusual since he was all I dreamt of, but waking up this morning it seemed much more real.

Maybe I had just bought another piece of his clothing, from the hamper, into bed with me. I didn't remember doing that. I thought I'd already taken everything that he left here, and slept with it until all of his scent was gone. I didn't remember finding anything new last night, as I once again cried myself to sleep, but the more I woke up the more I thought it really was Jake I smelled this morning.

What was going on? I was either still asleep or maybe this was some new layer of hell that my brain was taking me into. I'd pushed him away and now my brain was rebelling, forcing me to pay for my actions, not only by imagining seeing him where he wasn't, envisioning him in my dreams, both waking and while I was asleep, but now smelling him too.

Hopefully this was just a stupid nightmare. It must be, so I might as well wake up and start another dreary, horrible day, without my soulmate.

I had to blink a couple of times when I opened my eyes. The torture was just beginning. I was awake and my brain had somehow managed to create its most realistic version of Jake yet. Normally I just imagined seeing him, the way one heard others on the news claim to see Jesus or bigfoot on burnt toast or tree bark - I would see Jake's face in a pile of dirty clothes, or suds in the tub, or something like that. And it was never a happy smiling Jake, he was always scowling at me, for how I'd betrayed him.

I deserved this. My brain was torturing me even more , I now saw him sitting right in front of me, on the edge of the bed. And to add to my torment, my throat was burning with desire for his blood. What kind of new hell was this? I can't take it anymore. I just gave up; throwing the covers over my head, I began weeping uncontrollably.

"Nessie?" I hear a voice whisper.

Oh, god! Now I'm hearing him, too. What's going on? I must really be going insane.

"Nessie?" the imaginary Jake voice called again.

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO," I started chanting over and over again, rather loudly, while covering my ears with my hands. Maybe if I scream loud enough I'll drown out my own torturous brain.

"Renesmee, I'm sorry. I... I... Edward came and got me. He said that you wanted... that you needed me here... I thought... I thought this was what you wanted... I guess... I should... I'll go."

What? That can't really be my Jacob, could it?

Slowly, I pulled the covers down so my eyes could peek out and I saw a large Jacob like form slowly walking towards the door. No, it can't really be him. He left me and was still in La Push. But he looked, smelled, and sounded so real. Maybe it was really him! Even if it wasn't, this false Jacob was better than nothing. Maybe this wasn't my brain trying to torture me. Maybe it realized I needed him back and created this delusion to help me in some way. Maybe I should just go along with it.

"Jacob?" I whimpered.

"Renesmee," my hallucination said with a bit of hope now in its voice. It wasn't the broken sound that had called to me before.

Could it really be him? "Are... are you really back?" My throat was on fire. Fully awake now, I grasped that I clearly wasn't hallucinating, Jacob was really here with me in my... our room. And I wanted him. But I also wanted his blood.

Oh, no!

I promptly threw one hand over my mouth while wrapping the other around the bedpost as an anchor.

"Sorry," Jake mumbled as he dashed to the window and quickly opened it, letting some much needed fresh air in.

"Do you want me here?" he asked after moving back across the room as I switched placed with him and stuck my head outside to breath in some untainted, un-intoxicating air, before turning back to his waiting eyes. They were digging deep into mine, as if searching for answers. I didn't have any for him though.

"Of course I do, I love you. I need you here. I just…" needed to stick my head out the window and breathe some more fresh air, before I continued.

"Sorry," Jake mumbled to me.

While I was overjoyed that he was back, I... we both realized that his return didn't solve the problem of why he left in the first place. I stuck my head back out the window before attempting to talk again.

"What happened?" I cried. I thought he'd left me, either because he hated me, or because he was trying to protect himself, and me. And now he returns two weeks later.

Was it really two weeks? Thinking back I realized that it was that long. Part of me thought it was no more than a day, surely my heart would explode without seeing him any longer, but another part of me thought I hadn't seen him in months, possibly years. That's how much my heart hurt. But, no, it was two weeks. My father had left two weeks ago to go get my Jacob.

What the hell happened? What took them so long to come back?

"Why did you leave, why didn't you call, why -" No. I couldn't break down like this. I needed to be strong. If only so that Jake wouldn't rush across the room to try to comfort me. I couldn't have him that close.

After steadying myself, I began again. Slowly. Carefully. I asked Jake to tell me what happened while he was in La Push.

"David is settled in La Push," he began telling me, safety from across the room, "and he Imprinted." That seemed like it should be good news, so why didn't Jake look happy about it?

Over the next hour he quickly explained, telling me everything that had happened while he was gone.

"I hated being away from you but I had to stay out there so long to make sure that David's Imprinting was under control and he wouldn't be doing anything…" he paused for a moment, seemingly uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say, that or he was trying to think up an excuse. "Inappropriate," Jake finally said.

Inappropriate? What that was supposed to mean? I had a fairly good idea what it implied, but how could an Imprinting cause that kind of behavior, or even thoughts of it? But I didn't think Jake would make something like that up, especially about his own son. It had to be true. Yikes!

I needed more air, but this time, when I shoved my head out the window, I wasn't completely convinced that it was only because of Jake's scent. This news about my son was shocking, if not worrisome.

"Breathe Nessie," my father said while stroking my back. I'd just thought how I wished Jake could be doing that, and clearly he'd heard, and was trying to help. "I am," he confirmed.

"Will David's Imprint be okay without someone there to… err, protect her?"I asked them.

"Of course. We stayed until we were sure David wouldn't be a threat to Janet, or himself, or anyone else," my father said "I wanted to be sure his intentions were honorable."

"David agreed to Skype with us at least once a week," Jake continued to explain, as I alternated between holding my breath and sticking my head out the window, as my father held me. I started to wondered if part of the reason he'd come over here was to be closer incase my control faltered and I went after Jake. The wince my father gave me at that thought confirmed it. "Jared's Pack, and Embry, will be keeping tabs on David and Janet. They'll intervene if it looks like David is about to cross the line."

I think the worry on my face prompted Jacob to attempt to assure me again that he and my father were confident that David would be fine... probably.

He went on to mention how David planned to start college next month and even got a job.

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah, I think Dave's even finally starting to like your Dad," Jake snickered, looking over at my father.

"And it only took me buying him a car. We'll call it an early birthday present," my father smirked.

"A car?" Of course my father would buy my son a car. Great. I'd hoped he'd learn some responsibility and grow up living on his own (sort of) in La Push, but how was he supposed to do that if his family was always taking care of everything for him?

"Well, he needed some way to get to class," my father offered as an explanation.

Speaking of growing up, I wonder how odd it must have looked to have a seventeen year old boy walk into the dealership to buy a twenty-three year old man a car? Hmmm. Not that he acted it but had my father always looked like an adolescent? When I was younger I didn't think so. I mean I know my dad was frozen at seventeen, but he's over a hundred years old. I hadn't seen him for months, and while others had told me I looked six years older than him, this was the first time I really understood how David and I appeared so much older than him. It was just so strange to think about. The salesperson probably didn't know what to make of it, either… not that they would have known they were grandfather and grandson.

"Nothing a little dazzling didn't take care of," my father chuckled. "The saleslady soon got over her shock and helped us find the perfect vehicle for your son."

"Great," I rolled my eyes. Of all the things I was concerned about right now that was not really high on my list. "Are you sure he's going to be okay now?"

"We'll check in every week just to make sure."

That didn't make me feel much better.

While I would have appreciated a phone call I understood Jake's reasoning for remaining there for so long. But why couldn't he once my father got there? Or anytime over the two weeks he was there? Wouldn't Jake have been able to take a break from guard duty once he had another set of eyes?

"You should tell her," my father whispered over to Jake.

What did Edward want him to tell me?

My father froze for a second. Was it because they were hiding a secret from me? Wait, I just referred to my father by his first name.

"Don't upset yourself; you should probably start doing that anyway. You were right before, you do appear older than your mother and I. And your aunts and uncles for that matter. It's probably best if you start calling all of us, your grandparents included, by our first names."

"Alright." This might be weird, but I'm sure I, and everyone else, will get use to it soon enough. "So what's the big secret?"

Edward and Jake locked eyes for a second.

"We stayed longer because of Billy," Jake sighed, finally breaking down and telling me about his father's declining health. He was very emotional but from what I understood Edward had stayed to doctor Billy, using his medical knowledge to get Jake's fathers diabetes under control. I wish Jake had told me how sick he was, but Jake wasn't aware of anything that could be done. "I thought my father was receiving competent medical care," he told me. I guess that meant he wasn't.

While my grandfather was the official doctor in the family, my father knew just as much, he just didn't have the control over his thirst to practice on actual living, bleeding human beings. But Billy's simple case of advanced diabetes, he could handle.

"Billy's doing so much better now," Jake went on. "The feeling's even returned to his hand, not that he, or Rachel, or Paul," he growled, "ever thought to mention that it had ever left."

"When I first examined him I was worried a few of his fingers might need to be amputated, but if he keeps to his diet and takes his medicine when he is suppose to he should be fine. I arranged for a full time nurse to stay with him," my father added, "she's been instructed to call me immediately if his health declines in the slightest."

"That's great, I'm sure it will be a real help to him." Now I felt so selfish for the way I acted.

"I think he would have been more upset about not being able to hold the TV remote than the loss of a few digits," Jake joked, but it didn't reach his eyes. Those were full of worry.

Jake was dealing with so much. "I wish I knew all of this before today, I feel horrible that Edward dragged you back. You should still be with Billy-"

"Nessie," Jake cut me off, "with everything you were dealing with already, between us, I didn't want to burden you with my father's health issues. And I needed to come back. You need me to."

I felt even more selfish now. "Jake, I should have been stronger; I let you down."

"You could never do that. We just need to figure out how we're going to deal with our own... issue, and then when we're back to nor -"

Now it was my turn to cut him off. "But Jake, your father could have died. He still could -" What else could I say? "Please know that you can count on me if you need me, no matter what." I hoped he could see the determination in my eyes. Of course it probably would have been more believable if I didn't have to remain on the other side of the room from him.

Jake didn't answer, he just nodded. I hoped he believed me.

Billy wasn't going to live forever, he was human after all. So was my Grandfather Charlie. So were Jake's sisters, and all of the Wolves, like Seth, that will choose to stop phasing to grow old and die with their Imprints. They will all die, eventually. Sooner, rather than later. Sometime within the next fifty to sixty years. Possibly a lot earlier.

But not Jake or me. Not my family. We were immortal. Few things could kill us. We would still appear as we do now in fifty, one hundred, two hundred years after that.

Everyone I know, outside of my family will be gone. Well, except for other Vampires and the two other remaining Half-Vampires, Nahuel and Jennifer. And possibly Leah, if she ever gets back together with Nahuel and decides to continue to phase like Jake. But right now that was looking like a pretty big 'if'. I hoped she did. While it was true that we never really got along, I believed Jake needed another Wolf in his life, someone from when he was human(ish).

I worried about him sometimes. For me the thought of being immortal was normal. Aging a lifetime in seven years and then becoming frozen at twenty-three forever was normal. It was all I knew. But Jake was born human. He grew up expecting to grow old and someday die. Just like everyone in his family and community. He never expected the everlasting life that now seemed to be before him. He would outlive everyone he knew and loved. And then he would be alone.

I know my father was listening to my thoughts. He quietly got up and left so I could talk to Jake in private.

Thanks, I thought to him as he slipped out the door.

"Jake, why didn't you call me? Tell me what was going on? Why you weren't coming back? You put me through hell. I know staying was necessary, and I'm glad you did to ensure our son didn't do anything -" my voice trailed off, unable to finish the thought. "But the way you did it… cutting me off… not telling me…" I began over again, "Promise me that you will never leave me like that again." I was trying not to cry, but I was about to lose it.

"I didn't leave you, sweetheart. Not really. I would never leave you. You're my other half. I would never do that unless... unless you wanted me gone." Now it was his turn to take a deep breath before beginning again. "I just had to deal with David. The things that happened there, the situation, my -" he seemed to be searching for the right words, "I'm sorry it took so long. But if I contacted you… If I talked to you… heard your voice… You know I can never say no to you. I would have broken down… abandoned David…He might have… Janet wouldn't be..."

"I… I…" Crap. He was right. I didn't want to, but as much as I tried the tears started falling and I couldn't get them to stop.

"Nessie, I'm sorry. Please don't cry," Jake begged. "You were right. I'm sorry. Somehow... I should have found a way to call you... I -"

"No. You were right staying. But you still should have filled me in. Even if you weren't the one to talk to me in person you still needed to let me know what was going on. You could have told Billy, and he could have given me the message. Next time something happens, whatever challenge we face, we need to face it together. We're a team. We belong together. You can't leave me again. The pain… it hurt too much."

"Pain? What pain, Nessie? My pain? I could deal with it, leaving your presence if I knew it meant that you were happy," he said as I stuck my head out of the window. "I would leave again, if you needed me too, if it meant you wouldn't have to deal with the torment of your bloodlust," he gestured with his arm over to me and my current predicament.

This was more than just the bloodlust that I was talking about, but I guess we should really address that before we moved on.

"I don't want you to go and be in any type of pain, my Jacob. And your leaving wouldn't take mine away. It would add to it. I'd still crave your blood and would then also be in physical of pain from your absence. How would your leaving solving anything?"

"Renesmee, are you telling me that you feel pain when we're apart? Like I do?"

"Yes, of course. I thought you knew." He gave me a horrified look, so I guess he didn't. "I have a theory that since I'm Half-Vampire our Imprinting worked differently with us than the other Imprints and went both ways. I'm certain that I sort of Imprinted on you, too. Every since you officially became my mate, once I was determined in my choice… it hurts when ever we're apart; my heart physically aches, like its being torn apart and my head… I can't focus or concentrate. It starts like a dull hum, then gets louder and sharper the longer you're gone. I'm lost when you're not here. I always feel a kind of pull to you. I love you and cannot stand to see you unhappy, or hurt, or sad. It kills me to think of all the pain I put you through back when I tried dating Nahuel. I hadn't realized the extent of my side of our Imprinting back then, but I think it was the catalyst that lead me to the realization."

My words seemed to have shocked him, but I could see that he also thought it made sense.

"I'll never leave you again, sweetheart," he said to me while I once again grabbed a few lungfuls of fresh air, and sighed in relief.

We talked a little bit about the things I'd thought about earlier and when we had nothing else to talk about for today Jake quickly crossed the room, wrapped me in a dangerous hug, and then just as quickly exited our room.

He was back, but we still weren't together. Not completely. Mentally we were; but not physically. Not yet.

A.N. Well they're all back together... sorta. What do you think?