Hey, everybody. Back with another chapter.
So, there's about a four week gap between the last chapter and this chapter. Just FYI.
Let's get to it.
Chapter 20- Willow
I take a small bite of chicken from the lunch provided by the hospital and sigh. I've been in the hospital for four weeks. Technically, I could've been discharged several days ago, but I refuse to leave without Willow. So, I've been moved to another room where I can stay until Willow is released.
I have only seen Willow a few times since we arrived in The Capitol. She was in pretty bad shape for about the first week, then started making real progress. Even though she's reportedly in very good shape, I still have not been able to hold her or feed her. They have let me touch her while she's in the incubator, but I'm eager to hold my daughter again.
Peeta has been by my side the whole time, rarely leaving my room. Right now, he's off doing something with Haymitch. I know that Caesar has been holding interviews with the surviving victors over the last few days, and the whole country has been waiting for ours. However, I've refused to do an interview so long as Willow is stuck in the NICU.
Right then, I hear a knock on the door. "Come in!" I call.
A second later, Finnick walks in. I'm glad to see him. I've only seen him twice briefly during my stay in the hospital.
"Finnick," I say.
"Hey, Katniss. How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Pretty good, considering my daughter is still shut up in the NICU," I say.
Finnick looks at me comfortingly as he sits down next to my bed. "She'll be okay, Katniss. She's got the strongest parents in Panem," he says. I smile at him.
I look at Finnick, then say, "Finnick, me and Peeta had something we wanted to ask you. For saving Peeta's life and protecting us in the arena…we want you to be Willow's godfather."
Finnick looks at me in shock. Then, for the first time since I met Finnick, I see tears in his eyes. It takes him several moments before he says, "I would be honored."
I smile brightly at Finnick. Then, I ask him, "Finnick, Johanna told me who Annie is. Tell me about her."
Finnick's face brightens up at the mention of Annie. "She is…just amazing. And innocent. Some people say she's crazy. But she's so amazing. She's one of the few people who I think truly gets me. She's someone who loves me for who I truly am, not just for my looks. I love her more than I can put into words," he says.
"She sounds amazing. I hope I get to meet her," I say.
"I promise I'll introduce her to you next year," he says.
"Why haven't you married her?" I ask.
Finnick's face falls a bit before he says, "That's…complicated. But…after what happened with the jabberjays…I don't think I can hold off doing so for much longer. Within the next year or two, I plan on asking her to marry me."
I smile at Finnick. "I look forward to the wedding," I say.
Right then, there's another knock on the door. "Come in!" I say.
The door opens, and a doctor walks in. A second later, a nurse follows him in, pushing a bassinet.
"Mrs. Mellark. I'm very pleased to say that your daughter is doing very well. We were able to take her off of oxygen just early We've decided to move her out of the NICU. We still want to keep her for another week or two, and have her spend some time in the intensive care unit. I think, after a week or two more here at the hospital, you'll be able to take her home," the doctor says.
My eyes shoot wide open, and I say, "Really?"
The doctor smiles. "Yes. And since she's doing so well, we decided to bring her here to visit you," he says, and the nurse wheels the bassinet up to my bed.
I look into the bassinet and see my beautiful daughter, all wrapped up a yellow blanket and wearing a small pink beanie. Her hand are just visible, and she's moving them slightly as she moves her head from side to side, making soft cooing sounds.
Tears begin to flow from my eyes, and I look up at the doctor. "Can I hold her?" I ask.
"Of course," he says with a smile.
I sit up straighter, then reach into the bassinet and gently pick up my daughter. I then move her close to me and cradle her gently against my chest, crying even more.
"Willow. It's your mommy," I say.
At the sound of my voice, Willow turns her head in the direction of my voice. Then, her eyelids slowly flutter open. I begin to cry as I see her absolutely beautiful gray eyes. Just like mine.
"Oh, my little girl. I love you so much," I whisper to her as I lean down and give her a kiss over her forehead.
"She is precious," Finnick says.
"Yes, she is," I say. I vaguely hear the doctor and nurse leaving the room, but all my attention is focused on my daughter.
"I'm going to go get Peeta," Finnick says before he stands and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with Willow.
I sit entirely still in my bed, quiet, just staring down into my daughter's eyes as she stares back up at me. I could lose myself in the those eyes for eternity.
Suddenly, I hear a knocking on the door. "Come in!" I say, wondering who it is this time.
The door opens, and to my surprise, Cashmere comes walking into the room.
"Cashmere," I say in surprise.
"Katniss," she says.
We stare at each other for several moments, with Cashmere still standing yards away from me. Then, I ask, "Why did you spare my life?"
Cashmere is quiet for several moment before saying, "When I realized you were pregnant, I felt so bad for you. I felt you deserved to be a mom after everything you'd gone through. When I heard you screaming in the arena, I didn't realize at the time what was happening, so me and Gloss, who had separated from Brutus and Enobaria to hunt you guys so we could cover more territory, hurried to find you. But, when we saw you guys, I realized instantly what had happened. And when I saw her…she was just so little, I honestly thought she was going to die in the arena before the Games were over. I felt you and Peeta deserved to have some time with your daughter and be a family. Thank goodness I made that decision."
I look at her for a moment longer before saying, "I want to thank you. I wouldn't be alive without you, and Willow probably wouldn't either. In fact, who knows if the Capitol would've cancelled the Games if you hadn't done what you did. I really owe you."
Cashmere smiles a little. "Let me see your baby, and we'll call it even," she says.
"Then come over here," I say with a smile. It's then that Cashmere realizes I'm holding Willow, and walks over to me. She comes around to the other side of the bed so she can see Willow's face. As soon as she sees Willow's face, she gets the classic baby adoration look I've seen before.
"Oh my goodness, she is precious," Cashmere says.
I smile at her, then a thought comes to my mind. "Would you like to hold her?" I say.
Cashmere looks at me in shock and slight hesitation. "Really?" she asks.
"Of course. You're the reason she's alive," I say.
Cashmere look at me for a moment, then slowly nods. I hold Willow out to her, and Cashmere gently takes her into her arms.
Cashmere looks down at Willow as she cradles her gently. After a few seconds, she says, "Oh, she is so beautiful." She then looks at me and says, "She has your eyes."
"Yeah, but I think otherwise she looks like Peeta," I say.
"I think you're right," Cashmere says.
We sit in silence for another minute before Willow begins to cry. Cashmere tries to calm her down, but she continues to cry.
"I think she's hungry," I say.
Cashmere smiles as she hands her to me. "She's so beautiful. I'll try and come visit her again before we all leave the Capitol," she says.
"Willow would love that," I say with a smile. Cashmere smiles again before leaving the room.
I pull down my shirt to uncover one of my breasts. I lift Willow up to try feeding her, and I feel some tears come to my eyes as she quickly latches on and begins feeding. I now feel very happy, knowing that she's going to be okay.
Right then, the door bursts open and Peeta rushes into the room. I turn my head to face him and say in a quiet yet firm voice, "Quiet! She just started eating!"
He stops for a second, then slowly makes his way over to me. "Finnick just told me she was out of the NICU. I hurried over as quick as I could," he says. He then looks down at Willow and says, "Oh, she's beautiful."
"She has my eyes, but she has your hair, and I think overall she looks like you," I say.
He smiles, emotion flooding his face. "Well, I'd prefer if she more looked like you, but if she has your wonderful eyes, I'm fine with that," he says, planting a kiss on my temple, which makes me a smile and turn to kiss his lips.
We sit there, quietly watching our daughter feed. In this moment, life couldn't be more perfect.
(Two days later)
I fidget a bit, feeling a little nervous. Tonight is our interview with Caesar Flickermann, and, per a request that apparently came from President Snow himself, we'll be introducing Willow to the country, as everyone across Panem is eager to finally see her.
The interview will be held in my hospital room. Peeta will be wearing a simple dress shirt and simple nice pants. I'll be wearing a plain shirt and pants, and I'll be in an armchair the whole time, and I'll be holding Willow the whole time.
It'll be much easier than the interviews that normally follow the end of the Hunger Games. Instead of being in front of a massive live audience, the only people in the room will be Caesar and a small camera crew.
Peeta walks over to me in my armchair and gently fixes the little cap on Willow's head before kissing her forehead. "You're gonna do great," he says.
"I know. I just wish we didn't necessarily have to do this with Willow. I don't like the idea of her becoming a television star when she's still so little," I say.
"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Better to get it over with," Peeta says.
Right then, the door opens, and Caesar comes walking in. Three people follow in with cameras and microphones.
"Katniss! Peeta! How good to see you!" Caesar says, walking up to shake our hands. After shaking my hand, he looks down at Willow and says, "And there's the precious little one. May I hold her before we get started?"
I smile a little bit. Even though I don't know him too well, I trust Caesar enough to hold Willow. I hold Willow out to Caesar, and he gently takes her.
"Oh, she is beautiful. Just like her mother," Caesar says, smiling at me. I smile at his compliment.
He doesn't hold her for too long before handing her back, but it's clear he adores her. When he hands her back, he says, "Alright. Are you two ready?"
Peeta sits down in the chair next to mine, and he says, "Yes, we're ready."
Caesar sits down in a chair that's been brought in for him, and the cameras get set up. Then, at a sign from Caesar, they start filming.
"Welcome. I'm Caesar Flickermann. And a big welcome to all in Panem. I'm here with two more tributes of the 75th Hunger Games, and perhaps the reason so many of our beloved victors are alive, Katniss and Peeta Mellark, and their newborn daughter," Caesar says.
The cameras then turn to us as Caesar says, "It is good to see you once again, Katniss and Peeta. I must say, I never expected to see you both again."
"Neither did we, Caesar," Peeta says with a small smile.
"And I definitely did not expect to see you both again with a new little baby," Caesar says, "Can we the adorable new addition to the Mellark family?"
I turn slightly and turn Willow so that the cameras can see her face. The cameras hold on her face for a moment before Caesar says, "She is precious. What's her name?"
"Willow Rue Mellark," I say with a smile on my face.
"What a beautiful name," Caesar says. I smile and look back down at my daughter.
"So, Katniss, what was running through your head when you felt your water break there in the arena?" Caesar asks.
I look at Caesar. I kind of wish I didn't have to talk about my labor, but I know all of Panem will be dying to hear it, and maybe talking about it may help keep the Capitol off our backs a bit.
"It took a couple of seconds for it to register to me what has happening. And once it did…I felt nothing but pure fear. I was terrified that I was going b giving birth in the arena without proper medical care for me or the baby, terrified that my baby was going to be born 10 weeks early…and terrified of becoming a mother. Even though I'd had months to get used to the idea and get prepared…I just wasn't ready. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to protect my baby in the arena, and terrified that if I survived, I would be a bad mother," I say.
Caesar looks solemn as he slowly nods before he asks Peeta, "And what was going through your head when you realized her water had broken, Peeta?"
"Same as her really. Fear. I was cared for Katniss, scared for the baby, and scared to be a dad," Peeta says simply.
"And yet, for the most part, you seemed so calm throughout the entire thing," Caesar points out.
"I wasn't. Internally, I was so scared and nervous. But I knew everything was far worse for Katniss, so I schooled my emotions and just kept myself calm for her. I knew that she needed me to be calm and strong for her, so I kept what I was really feeling buried and kept myself strong for her," he says.
I look at him with love in my eyes. I hadn't realized at the time just how scared he was, or that he was trying to stay strong and brave for me. I can't keep myself from leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"And Katniss. You were incredibly brave throughout the entire ordeal. How did stay strong, especially when you were pushing her out?" Caesar asks.
"I'm still not entirely sure. At first, the pain wasn't terribly bad. But, as time went on, it got worse. I think, at some point that I couldn't point out definitively…my strength failed me, and the only thing that kept me going was Peeta," I say. I pause for a moment, then say, "There were two moments before these Games when I truly realized how much I loved Peeta. The first was in our first Games, right at the end, when I knew I'd rather die than lose him. And the second was when we got married. But really, looking back on it, I didn't truly realize just how much I loved him. It wasn't until I was pushing her out, and I felt Peeta kissing my head and whispering words to encourage me, that I realized just how much I truly loved him. I really couldn't survive without him. And if he hadn't have been by my side when I was in labor, I guarantee, 100 percent, I wouldn't have made it through. He was my strength in those moments." I then feel Peeta's lips on my cheek, and smile.
Caesar is quiet for a moment and wipes his eye, and I'm not actually sure whether or not it's for effect or it's because he's truly touched, though I'm slightly leaning towards the latter. Then, he asks, "And Katniss, we could all see you were scared when she first came out and she wasn't crying, but then we saw how quick your face changed when she started to cry. What was going through your head when you first say Willow?"
I'm quiet for several moments before I say, "That I had never truly realized the extent of the human capacity for unconditional love, and that I finally truly knew a mother's love. I knew instantly I would do anything for this little girl. I knew I would tear down the very stars in the sky for her. And I knew I couldn't live without her in my life. And I knew that I was meant to be her mother." I look down at Willow, and feel such a surge of love that I lean down and plant a kiss on her forehead.
"And what were you thinking when you heard the announcement that the Games were being cancelled?" Caesar asks.
"At first, it was pure disbelief. I was surprised that this was happening. Then, it was a realization that this was really happening, and that me and Katniss truly had the opportunity to be a family with our daughter," Peeta answers Caesar's question.
"Do you have an idea of who her godparents will be?" Caesar asks curiously.
I smile. "Yes. We've already asked them. Since they were with us in the arena and protected us, Finnick Odair is going to be her godfather, and Johanna Mason will be her godmother," I say.
Peeta and I had discussed godparents about three weeks into our stay in the Capitol. I had been the one to suggest Finnick as godfather, which Peeta entirely supported. I had been a bit hesitant when Peeta suggested Johanna as godmother, but I eventually agreed, as she had saved Wiress and Beetee, who I liked, and was willing to die to defend me and Willow when Cashmere and Gloss first showed up.
Needless to say, when we asked Johanna yesterday to be Willow's godmother, she was shocked, and I was surprised to see her eyes water a tiny bit. She had been hesitant, feeling she wasn't a good candidate, but she eventually accepted gladly, and also promised to spoil Willow rotten.
"Well, I'm sure they were both excited at your request," Caesar says.
"They were," I say with a smile.
Caesar asks us a few more questions about Willow, our plans for once we get back to 12, and a few more questions about the Games themselves. Finally, he says, "Well, I thank you for your interview tonight, and I congratulate you on your beautiful little daughter. I think all of Panem wishes you the best of luck as you start your lives as parents."
We shake hands once more with Caesar, and then the camera crews switch off their cameras.
"I wish you both all the best of luck. But now, I think I'll leave you be for some private time with your daughter," Caesar says with a smile. He then leads his crew out of the room.
Peeta gets up and sits down on the arm of my armchair. He rests his hand on Willow's head and smiles. "We got lucky, didn't we? And not just to live. We got lucky to have such a beautiful little girl, didn't we?" he asks.
I smile. "Yeah. We did," I say.
And, I'll end there. Hope you liked this one.
So, Finnick and Johanna are godparents. However, obviously, Seeder, Wiress, and Beetee will all have a close relationship with her too, and will pretty much be her aunts and uncle. And, so will Cashmere. Honestly, I don't know where I came up with the idea to have Cashmere spare their lives and then become friends with Katniss, but whenever I did think of it, I decided I liked the idea.
So, there are two more chapters. I'll try and have them both up tomorrow. Until the next one is up, leave a review, and stay tuned!