Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Tragedy of Gatsby
Raucous laughter filled the diner as Liz had her makeshift bachelorette party. Ella could only roll her eyes at the obnoxious women, only growing louder as they drank more wine, along with whatever the one dressed in loud shades of pink, Carrie, had in her flask. With the wedding fast approaching, only one more day, Luke and Ella were doing their best to keep calm. They had closed Luke's for the afternoon to allow for the modest party, consisting of four middle-aged Stars Hollow women drinking and uttering cliché nonsense. But, they had also (somehow) been assigned the task of making the food for the festivities. Ella had no idea where Luke had acquired the large, silver rotisserie cooker which sat on the diner counter, and she was almost too afraid to ask.
Large turkey legs spun around inside the hot plexiglass contraption, and more sat on a plate on the counter. Ella stood with the manual in her hands, a crease of concentration between her brows, trying to decipher the vague instructions. Though Luke was asking Liz if she had any idea what to do, Ella knew the effort was futile. As with most of the other wedding plans, Liz would be offering little to no help. Her personality wasn't totally asinine, but Ella was beginning to understand the many complaints Luke and Jess had about Liz. She certainly wasn't amazing at problem-solving.
"Let me see it," Luke said, putting the roasted leg which he had held up to examine back down on the plate. He reached his hand out for the manual.
Ella sighed, not looking up at him. "You already read it. You need fresh eyes."
"I think I saw something that'll help. I'll try and find it," Luke continued, extending his hand to her further.
Shrugging, Ella finally tore her eyes away from the words and handed the book back over to him. "Godspeed, boss."
Just then, Jess appeared from behind the curtain and came over to the end of the counter. "I need to get some batteries. I'll be back."
"What? For your Scarface beeper?" Ella asked, eyebrows raised.
"Hey, don't get distracted. You've got legs to cook," Jess scolded playfully, but frowned as his mother called over to him. Seeing her within a five foot radius of alcohol was enough to put him slightly on edge.
"Girls, this is Jess," Liz said, taking her son by the shoulders and over to the table to show him off to her friends.
Jess was met with a flirtatious chorus of "Hello handsome!" and other such greetings. And he immediately heard Ella snort back a laugh to his left. He shot her a glare and she feigned an innocent look.
"He's gonna walk me down the aisle," Liz said. "Is that cool, or what?"
Behind the counter, Ella raised her eyebrows in surprise. It was the first she was hearing of it.
"It's no big deal," Jess replied dismissively.
"It's a very big deal," Liz insisted, a hand still placed on his shoulder. Then, she turned back to Ella, who was staring quizzically into the rotisserie cooker. "And Ella's filling in as my flower girl. I gave her one of my dresses and everything."
"Oh, you'll be great," Carrie smiled at Ella through sips of her drink. "And those Renaissance dresses Liz showed me? They'll squish your boobs right up to your neck! It'll be fabulous!"
"Yeah," Ella said flatly, sighing. After trying on the dress last night with Lorelai, they'd taken up the length and taken in the sides. But the corset was relatively static, unable to be adjusted. When laced up all the way, it almost completely cut off her ability to breathe. "I'm just counting down the seconds."
Outside, a man in a UPS uniform, holding a large package, approached the door. Luke went over to accept the delivery, but it instantly became apparent that there was no package and the man was a stripper. Eyes widening, Ella quickly undid her apron and hung it on the hook in the kitchen.
"I'm taking a break," she announced, rounding the corner of the counter to come up beside Jess.
Luke barely acknowledged her, still lost on what was about to happen. Without thinking, Jess grabbed Ella's wrist gently to lead her out of the diner before the show could begin. It was clear from the scarlet flush on her cheeks and the amusement on her face that she didn't want to bear witness to what was about to happen either.
"Have fun," Jess muttered dejectedly to his uncle before brushing past him and escaping.
"Have fun with what?" Luke asked cluelessly behind them, but the door had already shut.
Ella erupted in a fit of laughter as Jess released her wrist, walking beside her and shaking his head in disbelief. Birds sung in the afternoon heat, and they went down towards the market, the streets lined with fresh produce and fragrant flowers. Eventually, Ella's giggles subsided and she caught her breath.
"Luke really should get out more," she said, letting her long hair out of its ponytail and running her hands through the waves.
Jess snorted. "Agreed. I'm pretty sure the only movie he's ever seen is Bridge on the River Kwai."
Pursing her lips, Ella shook her head. "Maybe that's what he says. But he's definitely seen more. How else could he keep up with Lorelai?"
"Good point."
A comfortable pause passed between them as they neared the market, entering the air conditioning as Jess went off in search of batteries. Even after a couple years, Taylor still glared each time Jess came in the store. It was meant to look menacing, but instead it ended up as mostly cartoonish. Ella even shot him a teasing wave as they walked past. In some ways, Taylor felt about Ella the way Mrs. Kim did. She wore dark clothing and makeup, and created ghoulish artwork. And her dead mother, and additional complicated family members, did nothing to help her reputation among the other conservative townsfolk. Not like Ella cared, however; she knew people like Patty and Babette and Maury and Gypsy were the coolest ones. And they all liked her just fine.
"When the hell did batteries start getting so expensive?" Jess grumbled, picking up some generic AAs, skipping over the name brands.
Ella chuckled. "You sound like such a responsible adult."
"Hardly," Jess replied, leading the way to the checkout line. "If I was actually responsible, I'd leave New York. I live in one room with five other guys and I still barely make rent."
"Ah, so the tragedy of Gatsby holds true?"
As he paid, Jess only chuckled in response. His eyes fell on the 'Take a Penny, Leave a Penny' jar while the cashier made change, and he smirked nostalgically. After so long, he could still hear Taylor's accusations of his stealing every single coin in the jar. He had done it, of course. He just hadn't expected such an intense response. Those early days in Stars Hollow had shown him just how boring such a sleepy town could be. In New York, there were bigger fish to fry than some kid taking pennies. But still, before they left, he dropped one penny into the familiar jar. For old time's sake, he told himself. Ella noticed, of course, and raised a brow at him in askance.
He shrugged as they emerged back into the May sunshine. "What goes around comes around."
Ella gave a bitter chuckle. "Not that karma bullshit."
Jess clicked his tongue mockingly. "Kids these days. So cynical."
"Whatever, James Dean," Ella said, shaking her head.
For a moment, Jess's breath seemed to catch in his throat. She hadn't called him that name in such a long time. And suddenly, he was seventeen again, ditching school and mouthing off and making out with her to depressing records. But, then, he had to remind himself where he was. He was putting pennies in the jar. Walking his mother down the aisle. Reading the self-help book Luke had given him the night before after a long, strange lecture about the power of communication. Jess wanted to roll his eyes at every word when first starting the book, but he'd read almost half of it already, sitting up in his old bed. And he was beginning to absorb it, understand it. Biting down hard on his lip for a moment, Jess quieted the emotions which sprung up in his mind and only shot her a smirk.
"I am not going back to the diner any time soon. You wanna get some ice cream?" he asked, tucking the batteries into his pocket.
Nodding, Ella let a fond smile cross her face. Either she hadn't noticed her nickname slip, or was brushing it off. "Sure. Seems like you're finally developing a concept of weather."
. . .
Sucking in her stomach, Ella regretted eating so much mint-chocolate-chip. Pretty in Pink played at a low volume on the small TV in the Gilmore living room, as Lorelai made the final alterations to Ella's dress. Standing on a kitchen chair, Ella was off to the side of the couch so as not to block Rory and Sookie's view of the movie. Along with playing substitute seamstress for the wedding, Lorelai would be meeting with Sookie about some Inn business later in the evening. Ella felt like she had been holding her arms out at her sides for hours, and her shoulders were starting to ache. But she bit back the heavy sigh which threatened to escape her mouth as Sooke, Lorelai, and Rory shot questions at her about Jess's sudden reappearance. They were doing nothing to hide the suspicion in their voices.
"He's really walking his mom down the aisle? Mr. Sid Vicious, Mr. Stealing-My-Beer-and Ditching-My-Dinner, Mr. Steal-Babette's-Gnome-and-Fake-A-Murder-Outside-Doose's is walking his mother down the aisle voluntarily?" Lorelai asked through the pins she held in her mouth, taking in the sides of the dress one final time.
"Anything else to add or are you done?" Ella's voice was husky and breathless as she watched Jon Cryer dance around Molly Ringwald on screen, the corset tight but still manageable around her torso.
Rory chuckled. "You can't deny all those pseudonyms are factually accurate."
"And no longer timely, Ms. Amanpour," Ella quipped flatly.
"But he still got in a fight with TJ at a strip club last night," Lorelai piped in.
Ela rolled her eyes. "That was justified. And happened while he was reading Jane Austen in a strip club."
"You're grumpy tonight, kitten," Sookie said, tilting her head over the back of the couch at Ella with a small pout.
"Comes with the lack of oxygen," Ella replied.
Lorelai took a final pin from her mouth and stuck it in the hem at Ella's side. "Why did you agree to this Renaissance nonsense, then?"
"Didn't really agree to it. And when Liz brought it up, Luke seemed so happy. I just...couldn't say no to them," Ella explained.
Lorelai shot her a mischievous grin. "Ah, there's that hidden heart of gold. What a shame that it's three sizes too small."
"I'm not losing any sleep over it," Ella said.
Rory snickered.
"Hey, I'm not the only one trying to add a few years to Luke's life this week," Ella continued, stepping down from the chair, trying not to slip in her fishnets.
"What do you mean?" Sookie asked.
"Lorelai is Luke's date," Ella said. "A match made in heaven."
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "We're just going as friends."
"It's a good thing you've never been arrested. You'd never pass a polygraph," Rory smiled, in on the teasing.
"Wicked, wicked girls," Lorelai scolded with a dramatic gasp.
"Not quite the twins from The Shining, but close," Sookie chimed in, agreeing.
"Twins indeed," Lorelai said, straightening the corset, eyebrows raised.
Normally, Ella barely filled out a bodice. But, with the constricting powers of the corset, she had cleavage nearly up to the collarbone. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't an interesting change from being nearly flat-chested, as she slowly got used to the pressure on her ribs.
"Just call me Bianca," Ella announced in a dramatic Elizabethan accent, making circular gestures with her hands.
"Not Desdemona?" Rory asked.
Scrunching up her nose in thought, Ella shook her head. "No, definitely Bianca. I'd much rather slap Cassio than be murdered by Othello. Besides, I don't think this dress is exactly Desdemona's taste."
. . .
The day bloomed hot and dry, the sun shining down from a cloudless sky. Ella rushed across town square from Patty's to Luke's. As she entered the air conditioning of the diner, she felt sweaty in her tight outfit, panting slightly. In the back of her mind, she worried her makeup would smudge beyond salvageability before the ceremony had even started. But soon, the cool evening would set in. And she kept her mind focused on the task at hand, trudging up the stairs to the apartment and knocking twice on the door. After a few moments, Jess came to greet her, dressed in all black. He blinked at her in surprise, then smirked.
"Hello, flower girl," he said.
Scoffing dejectedly, she brushed past him into the apartment. But, as soon as she was in view of Luke's side of the room, she turned back around with a look of disgust. TJ was shirtless, in nothing but some very form-fitting tights. Jess chuckled at the scowl which formed on her face and the blush on her cheeks.
"Jackass!" she scolded Jess playfully. "Why didn't you warn me?"
"Didn't exactly give me the chance, did you?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he made his way over to his duffel.
"Excuses," she shot back.
"Alright, alright," Luke piped up, exiting the bathroom and walking over to Ella in the kitchen. "What's up, kid?"
Letting out a heavy sigh, she turned away from Jess and faced Luke, mouth set in a thin line. "I've been sent here to tell you that Liz's dress ripped. But Lorelai is fixing it and everything is fine. She'll just be a few minutes late. But no one's getting left at the altar or anything."
"What'd you say?" TJ chimed in, panicked, in his thick New Yorker accent.
"Nothing, Liz is just running a little late getting dressed. Go put your outfit on, buddy," Luke said, reassuring.
Narrowing his eyes, TJ stared suspiciously at the three of them before finally giving a nod. He took the hanger which held his heavy Renaissance costume into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Ella was comforted by the fact that the next time she saw him he would more than likely be fully clothed.
"Nice tie," Ella said, feeling odd seeing Luke out of his usual uniform. The black suit looked stiff on him, but his burgundy tie was surprisingly fashionable.
"Thanks," Luke replied, almost begrudging, almost anxious.
Jess walked back over to the two of them near the kitchen table. He had a pale, yellowish button-up over his black t-shirt, yet to be buttoned. "He's nervous."
"I am not," Luke argued.
"I bet Lorelai will think you look great," Ella teased.
Luke rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." Then, he went to deal with the shoes on his bed. The polish was practically a hundred years old, and its chunkiness wasn't yielding the best results.
As Jess finished buttoning up his shirt, his gaze roamed over Ella. She wore a lavender, cap-sleeve dress, chiffon with a hem which stopped just above her knees. Over it, a silvery vest corset. Her usually messy hair was curled in long, golden ringlets, and it was done half-up, half-down. A few loose strands hung around her freckled face. But even though her lips were shiny with clear gloss, her eye makeup was dark and smudged in a grungy style as usual.
"You look nice," Jess said with sincerity, nearly winded, breathless from the butterflies which flew around in his stomach.
Smiling shyly, Ella's flush deepened. "Thank you. Don't look so bad yourself, Mariano."
He nodded humbly.
But then, Ella furrowed her brows and she reached up to straighten the collar of his shirt. "You have to remember to fold these right. How many times, Jess?"
Ignoring the electricity he felt at her touch, he looked down and saw the hefty black Doc Martens on her feet. He regained his confident smirk, smug.
"No heels?" he asked as she took a step back from him, satisfied with his shirt.
She mirrored his expression, conspiratory. "Never, when I can help it. Last time I wore them was at Sookie's wedding. One of the worst decisions of my life. And, hey, Liz said I could wear my own shoes."
Jess snickered, picking his watch up from the kitchen table and fastening it around his wrist. "Wait to cheat the system."
"Thank you very much," she replied with a little bow. "See you out there?"
"Oh, can't wait," Jess drawled, feigning excitement.
"Hey. Game face, Mariano," Ella said, pointing a finger at him as she made for the front door. "I'll save you a seat."
. . .
With Liz's dress finally fixed, Ella jogged over to the town square from Patty's, hearing the strings and flute players biding their time, keeping the moderate crowd entertained. So many people were wearing costumes, flowers in their hair, and bells on their shoes. She would have rolled her eyes, but she was clutching at her middle and nearly doubled over when she finally made it to the end of the aisle, trying to catch her breath. Jess stood in waiting for his mother, and his eyes widened when he saw Ella panting.
Bringing his hand to her arm as he crouched down, he furrowed his brows at her. "Woah, Stevens, are you okay?"
Nodding, Ella swallowed dryly and straightened up. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, Mariano. It's just hot. And I'm only getting about half the air I normally do. I'm dizzy, that's all."
"You wanna sit down? I can get you some water?" he asked. Though she was usually pale, her face was almost never so ghostly.
She shook her head just as the music kicked up, signaling her cue. Grabbing the basket of rose petals from the ground near the end of the aisle, she shot him one final smirk in an attempt at reassurance. "Really, I'm okay. And I'm on. Break a leg."
"Right back at ya," he said, a doubtful eyebrow raised.
And, in a mortifying turn, Ella skipped down the aisle and added in a few twirls, tossing petals as she went. It wasn't exactly dancing, which was good for the audience's sake. They would otherwise have been doomed. But her cheeks flamed and her stomach squirmed with nerves, fearing a stumble. Lorelai flashed her an encouraging smile as she went, and soon enough Ella was taking her seat in the front row, one empty chair for Jess to her right. In all honesty, she was surprised she had actually pulled it off. When she'd signed on to be the flower girl, she'd understood the role as merely walking. She'd almost chickened out when Liz had shown her the moves the night before. But, somehow, she had survived. She didn't believe in miracles, but it came pretty close.
Then, Liz rode in at the back of the arrangement on a large chair, rolled by two men in pantaloons. Everyone rose. Jess took her by the arm, leading her down the way. Ella had to admit, Liz looked amazing in her wedding dress. And Jess, who'd had only a shy, stoic expression before, even managed a small smile as his mother kissed him on the cheek. Soon, she stepped next to TJ, and the crowd was seated again. Ella looked at Jess, as he came to her side, with a tiny smirk.
"You did well. Very firm gait," she whispered.
Jess rolled his eyes, but his smile stayed. "Whatever, Stevens. We both know you were seconds away from breaking your nose."
She didn't reply, but instead licked the pad of her thumb and smudged Liz's lipstick off his cheek.
Jess grimaced. "Ugh, Eleanor spit."
"Ah, sweet revenge," she said, a wicked grin growing on her lips.
Once the officiant began playing some antiquated string instrument and singing a silly song about love, all bets were off. Ella could hear Luke and Lorelai fighting laughter behind her. She bit at her thumbnail to keep from giggling, but eventually had to hide her flushed face with one hand and grip Jess's knee with the other for dear life. Even Jess had to bite down on his bottom lip to ward off an amused outburst.
. . .
Stars shone brightly from the dark sky, and Ella gazed up at them as the man sitting next to her and Jess droned on about his time in prison. Having had the opportunity to meet many of Liz and TJ's acquaintances from the Renaissance fair over the course of the night, Ella was relatively sure she would not be donning her corset dress again any time soon. Though Liz had assured her she could keep it, since it was now fitted just right to her frame. Warm air blew past them in pleasant breezes, and it made Ella's heart feel calm, soothed. Summer was coming. She couldn't wait. Swims in the lake (without the current of an ocean), sitting out in the gazebo with Lane, drawing the floral arrangements which would adorn town.
Eventually, the man with the tank top and shaved head rose from his seat, and left Ella and Jess alone at the table. Stray, empty plates peppered the gingham tablecloth. Deeply breathing in the clean air, Ella looked over at Jess in the glowy night, lit up by the extra twinkle lights around the makeshift dance floor which had been set up near the gazebo. Past Jess, she could see Luke and Lorelai talking and laughing amongst themselves at their table. A smirk crossed Ella's face. She hoped it would stick this time, with Luke officially divorced and Lorelai having broken up with her rich, snotty boyfriend, Jason Stiles. Ella had never met him, of course. But from what Rory had told her, Jason had been all wrong for Lorelai.
Clearing her throat, Ella faced Jess again and propped her head up on her palm, elbow on the table. "You okay?"
Jess, sitting hunched over his nearly empty plate of food, looked up at her and shrugged. He leaned back against the back of the folding chair he sat in. "Well, I'm not bleeding or anything. Are you still dizzy?"
"No, I think my vitality has been restored," Ella said, sighing slightly.
"Well, I know the sunlight hurts you, Morticia."
Snorting a laugh, Ella straightened up and her tone turned more serious. "Really, though. You're okay with her getting married again?"
Chewing on his lip, Jess shrugged once again. "I'm okay. She's gonna do what she's gonna do. And this one is better than some of the others. Though that bar is pretty fucking low."
She nodded. "Alright. You can tell me, y'know. It's okay if you're not okay."
"I know," he said shortly, though not unkindly.
"Good. Glad we sorted that out, then," she said, smiling genuinely at him.
He gave a small smile back. "Me too, Stevens."
Suddenly, Kirk came over the loudspeaker soundsystem and announced Liz and TJ were about to have their first dance. The sweet guitar tune which played was not one Ella could instantly recognize, but she didn't hate it. From the corner of her eye, she saw Luke and Lorelai over near the side of the dance floor. Jess watched Ella gaze out around the crowd, starlight glinting in her hazel eyes. He felt so content, and his mind wandered to the now-finished self help book sitting on the table near his teenage bed. But, before he could open his mouth to speak, Ella turned back to him.
"This song isn't half bad," she said. "I almost expected a Gregorian chant, but I guess they're not quite that committed to the theme."
"I'll be sure to mention that in the Gazette review tomorrow," Jess quipped. "I figured you'd think this was too happy."
She shook her head slightly, pursing her lips. "Maybe the lyrics are happy, but it sounds sad. The music feels...depressed. Fuck, that doesn't make sense. Maybe I do have heat stroke, after all."
"I wouldn't put it past you. And you tell me I don't drink enough water," Jess chided, shaking his head.
Ella rolled her eyes. With a smirk, she pointed across the square towards Luke and Lorelai. "Look at those crazy kids."
Jess looked at the two of them, Lorelai settling against Luke as they danced slowly together. He laughed under his breath. Maybe Luke was taking the book's advice, too. It still shocked Jess that his uncle had been proactive enough to seek relationship guidance. Maybe Luke would no longer be the most dysfunctional person he knew.
"Took them long enough," Jess said knowingly.
Humming in agreement, Ella leaned back in her chair, shifting to get more comfortable. She absolutely couldn't wait to take the dress off. "But, hey, Luke can waltz a hell of a lot better than I ever would've been able to."
"Agreed," Jess scoffed. "In those boots? You'd break all ten of my toes."
"Hey, you managed to come away from the Distillers concert unscathed," she said pointedly, eyebrows raised.
"The exception that proves the rule."
She snickered but didn't retort, instead yawning against the back of her hand. Such a costume in the nighttime heat also seemed to be making her drowsy. After a moment, Jess swallowed down his pride. He remembered Lorelai's words, Luke's words, and the words in the book telling him he deserved love. Jess put a hesitant arm around her, and before she knew what she was doing, instinct taking over, she brought her head to his shoulder. And it was so familiar. Watching the townspeople of Stars Hollow, saying nothing but feeling everything. And, just for a minute, she quieted the thoughts which swirled around in her mind. She didn't worry, she didn't bite her nails, she didn't clutch her necklace. She only let herself feel the swell of her heart.
. . .
In the early hours of the morning, Ella was glad to have some silence in the house. Hep Alien was out at a gig, performing and celebrating the success of Mrs. Kim's visit to finally reconcile with Lane. She'd come over to see her daughter's new life during the wedding, when Ella was out. Though Zach and Brian had combed their hair and put on ironed shirts, Mrs. Kim already knew enough about Ella to never trust her. So, before she left for the wedding, Ella parked her car outside the diner and left no traces of her presence in the living room. As Ella was coming back through the front door, already unlacing her corset, the three band members were getting ready to rock, as Lane put it. With Dave out at college in California, they were still missing a guitar player, but they'd booked something at a random bar near New Haven. They were relying on their minimalist White Stripes covers for the time being. Lane had given Ella an excited squeal and a big hug before leaving, offering her friend a brief rundown of the evening. Mrs. Kim still wasn't overjoyed, but she had at least done a walkthrough of the house.
Finally able to breathe again, Ella had cracked open nearly every window of the house to let the cool breeze in. Her hair was damp and loose from a shower. She was dressed in an old Pixies t-shirt and some plaid pajama bottoms, more comfortable than she'd been all day. It had been taxing, but more fun than she thought it would be.
And Jess. So different but so easy. A quick goodbye. Apparently, though, he had just gotten a cellphone. He had given her his number, after a fair amount of her teasing. She'd promised to take advantage of Luke's house phone during her breaks. As hard as it was to watch him disappear into the dark diner, parting ways as she walked back to Lane's and he went to pack up his stuff, at least she knew it wouldn't be the last time they spoke. She could've sworn, as they sat for nearly an hour with her head on his shoulder, she had been transported back in time. Somehow, she had forgotten just how safe Jess could make her feel. How right. But with it brought confusion.
He lived miles away, he left without a word, didn't speak to her for over a month. If she hadn't grabbed the phone from Luke, would he have ever tried to get in touch with her at all? No matter how much she wanted to be with him, she couldn't forget what had happened, how it felt. Despite what Lorelai and Rory may have thought, calling to check in on her best friend every once in a while was different than forgiving the past.
Snuggled beneath a thin throw blanket, Ella doodled inside a copy of The Waves. She had tried to focus on the words for only a few minutes before giving up entirely. Her thoughts were too loud; she couldn't quiet them down enough for fiction, even modernist. Instead, she drew a Renaissance scene, a grim reaper sneaking up on a gaggle of beautiful, corseted women.
She furrowed her brows when a knock sounded on the door. It was Lane's house, and she hadn't mentioned expecting anyone. Nonetheless, Ella tossed her book and blanket aside, crossing her arms over her braless chest defensively. But, she found only Jess on the doorstep. He had donned his leather jacket and stood with his hands shoved in his pockets. His expression was largely unreadable, but she almost thought she saw a shine in his brown eyes.
"Hey, Mariano," she greeted him, smiling. "Is something wrong? Is it that rust bucket again? If you need a place to crash while Gypsy's fixing it, I'm sure Lane would be okay if we shared the couch, or the floor maybe-"
"Can I come in?" he asked suddenly, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
Ella nodded, face falling at his anxious tone. She stepped aside for him to pass. "Sure. Everyone else is at a gig near Yale. Just Virginia Woolf and I tonight."
A half-hearted smirk crossed his face as she shut the door and went back to the couch. She gestured for him to sit in the armchair across from her. It was a wonder how the band managed to fit any furniture in the living room at all with the drums and other gear set up on the wall near the front door.
"What's wrong, Jess? Did something happen?" she asked gently, tilting her head at him.
He swallowed harshly, running a hand over his mouth. "I need to talk to you."
She nodded. "Okay. Well, here I am."
Breathing a heavy sigh, he took a long pause, then finally locked eyes with her. "Come with me."
"What?" she asked, chuckling slightly in disbelief. Was he joking?
"To New York. We could work, live together, be together. God knows they would love your art up there. You could sell it on the street if you needed to, and I know people would buy it. I love you, Elle. I love you so much and I wanna be with you." He gestured passionately and spoke with such conviction that Ella was almost rendered speechless with shock.
Gathering her thoughts, she began to shake her head slowly. "You don't love me, Jess."
"Of course I do!" he exclaimed. "I've been in love with you for two years!"
She gave him a doubtful glance.
"Since that day in the gazebo! I've thought about it over and over! When you took my hand, and you showed me the hydrangeas through the hole in the roof, and you told me you didn't care whether I went to college! And you took off your heels to walk home, right before you left for New Britain. And I've loved you every second of every day since!"
"Oh really?" she asked, voice growing tense. "You loved me when you left without saying anything? You loved me when I went a month without knowing whether you were alive or dead? You loved me then?"
Jess bowed his head slightly and sighed again. "Yes. I loved you so much then. And I love you now. I'm sorry, Elle. Okay? I know you couldn't count on me then, but you can now! I'm here! I'm right here!"
Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella only kept shaking her head. "Jess, you can't do this to me. I can't do this."
"Yes, you can. You can do anything. You've always been able to do anything! And I know you want this, too! I know you love me!" he continued, tone pleading now.
Tears sprang up and spilled over in Ella's eyes before she could stop them, and she wiped angrily at her cheeks. "Please stop."
"Look, I know you're scared-"
"No, Jess, you don't know!" she interrupted, voice raised to a yell. "You don't know! You were gone. Overnight. Just gone. And you didn't call for a month! I didn't know where you were! You left! Just like everyone! Just like my fucking mom! And my older brother! And you broke my heart!"
For a moment, the air stood stagnant and charged between them. Crickets and cicadas hummed outside. Stray yells, noises from the wedding party, still sounded in the distance. Jess sniffled and blinked back tears. Ella wiped furiously at her cheeks. Soon, she had her elbows on her knees and was hiding her face in her hands.
"Eleanor, please, I'm so sorry! I was so lost! Luke kicked me out and I didn't know what to do! And I did leave you. But not forever!"
Ella gave a muffled, bitter chuckle.
"I wanna be with you! For the rest of my life! But not here. Not in this place. Not in Stars Hollow! We can start new!" he said, voice strained with emotion.
Raising her head to face him again, Ella clutched at her necklace. "I can't leave, Jess. My little brother's still here, I'm starting summer classes in a week, I-"
"It's not about him. It's not about them. It's about you and me. It's about what we want! You already left your place! Everything you own is in your backseat! You're ready! Let's go!"
"No!"
"I love you, Elle. I know you love me too! You say you don't believe in it, but I know it's not true! You love me and we love each other and we're supposed to be together! Let's go!"
Still, she shook her head vehemently.
"No, Jess!" she shouted, louder than she expected to. She had stopped trying to hide her crying. Her tone was cracked. "No! You don't get to come here and try to save me! I don't need any saving! We said no cop outs! We said we were gonna try! And you left without trying! I'm not falling for it again!"
Jess, too, had tears streaming down his cheeks. "Eleanor, I can fix it. I promise, I-"
"Don't Eleanor me, Jess! It's too late! You promised before and you left me! Fuck and run! And I should've known!" she exclaimed hotly. She raked her hands through her hair, pausing, but it seemed Jess might have nothing more to say. "I think you should go."
His jaw tensed, and a crestfallen look appeared on his face. "Eleanor, you know we love each other. Please...please just come with me."
Breathing a broken sigh, Ella averted her gaze from him, dejected. Her heart twisted painfully. She almost couldn't take it. She stared at her hands, wringing them together in her lap. "It doesn't matter anymore, Jess. Sometimes love isn't enough."
Mouth agape, Jess stared at her in the lamplight. She loved him. He loved her. They both knew it. But her voice, with no affection for him in it. Nothing at all but sorrow. And it clicked in his mind. He would never have her again. He'd done exactly what he'd promised not to do; and he would forever pay the price. She could hold a grudge like it was her job, Luke had said. Patience, Lorelai had said. He hadn't listened. Maybe he deserved love, as the book said, but not from her. As he walked out without another word, he didn't slam the door. He shut it gently behind him. And a cold stone of grief sat heavy in Ella's stomach. She sat on the couch, weeping, until the birds chirped and the sun rose.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought! Feedback is greatly appreciated!
Eennio: Yay! I'm so glad you liked that part, since I was actually a little unsure about it. Thank you for reading and commenting! I'd be curious to know what you think of this one :)))