Disclaimer: Harry Potter and the wizarding world belongs to JK Rowling, not me unfortunately.
NOTE: I'm posting this at the same time as 17, so you're not getting a reminder of what happened last chapter.
Chapter 18
"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN ENQUIRY AT WORK AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TWO OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! – Oh and Ginny dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud" The howler ripped itself into pieces and silence reigned in the hall, except for Malfoy's muffled laughter. Ron looked horrified and Colin only made it better by snapping a picture of him sitting with an equally shocked-looking Harry.
The events had happened exactly as they had before. Ron's wand was carefully wrapped in spellotape, though the top half of the wand still stuck out at an odd angle. Professor Sprout had passed me in the corridor on my way to the Great Hall, carrying bundles of bandages away from the infirmary to tend to the Whomping Willow and any injuries it obtained last night. And the flying Ford Anglia was nowhere to be found.
"Tell us, Dev, why did Dumbledore want to see you last night?" Dev. That was a new one. I turned to Greengrass.
"Why don't you mind your own business, Gree" I responded, eyebrows raised. It really would make things difficult if the Slytherins started sneaking around behind me.
Greengrass rolled her eyes, "Relax, I was just curious. As were we all"
"Is your mother better now?" Malfoy asked with no malice in his voice, I thought I could make out a slight hint of sympathy, and – much to my amusement – Parkinson was looking annoyed that the platinum-haired boy was even having a conversation with me.
"Uh, yeah, sure" I replied. It was difficult to really answer that question. If I said she was recovering then I couldn't use her as an excuse for anything. And she'd just become ill again later.
"When did you last hear from her?" Parkinson sneered, "Are you sure she's not dead?" That was harsh, even for her.
"Are you sure your family's not dead?" I retorted, "When did you last hear from them? Because I specifically remember mentioning to the mafia that there was a certain evil family that needed getting rid of"
"What's the mafia?" Draco asked.
Zabini sighed and drummed his fingers on the table, "It's a muggle criminal society" He explained. "How do you know about that, though?"
"It was in the movie Monsters Loose" That excuse was useful.
"What's a movie?"
"Google it" Google hadn't been founded yet, had it? The difficulties of living in the early 1990s.
Harry was last to enter the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom, and Lockhart had his arm slung around his shoulder, walking him right to his seat. The boy-who-lived was fuming to himself and hid behind his stack of seven Lockhart books. Before the teacher reached the front of the room, Hermione and Ron hurried over to sit next to him, ducking their heads down. I shook my head fondly and turned back around to face the fraud standing behind his desk.
Lockhart picked up his copy of Travels with Trolls and held it up to the class. His own portrait smiling up at him. "Me" He grinned, copying the portrait's wink, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award – but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
He paused for laughter, but the only reaction he got was a couple of watery smiles, mainly from his personal Lockhart fan club – limited to girls only, if the reactions of the class were any indication.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books – well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about – just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in-"
He placed them on each desk by hand, before returning to his desk, "You have thirty minutes – start – now!"
I knew what to expect from the paper.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?
Lilac.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
If we knew, it wouldn't be a secret.
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
Becoming Defence against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite animal?
Eagle
What did Gilderoy Lockhart want to grow up to be when he was younger?
Working for the Ministry as an obliviator.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's wand made out of?
Wood
What Hogwarts House was Gilderoy Lockhart in?
Ravenclaw
…
54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal gift be?
The day he was born. Another portrait made of him.
I was moderately pleased with my answers when the time ran out. Lockhart collected each one, and rifled through them in front of the class.
"Tut, tut – hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully – I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic people – though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey"
Most of the class were now staring at the professor in disbelief. He winked again. Only a couple of the girls were listening with rapt attention – Hermione included. In front of me, Lavender Brown had drawn a giant red heart around the portrait of Lockhart on her copy of Voyages with Vampires. At the back of the class, Zabini had completely given up and was leaning against the wall reading his own book The Dark Arts Outsmarted.
"…but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions – good girl! In fact…full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"
She raised a trembling hand. Ron was staring at her in horror and disbelief. Lavender was watching her with envy.
"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart, "Quite excellent! Take ten points to Gryffindor! And so – to business –"
He moved over to the rattling cage on the edge of his desk. It was covered in a lilac hanging, concealing the pixies inside.
"Now – be warned! It's my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask if that you remain calm"
Half the occupants of the room leaned forward expectantly, while the other half shrunk back. Only Zabini and I remained uninterested and calm.
"I must ask you not to scream" Lockhart warned, before dramatically ripping the cloth away, "It might provoke them"
Seamus burst out laughing, "Cornish Pixies!" He snorted, "They're not very dangerous, are they?"
"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart smiled, "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be! Let's see what you make of them"
And just like that, he opened the cage. The small, electric blue devils rocketed around the room. Two of them grabbed hold of Neville by his ears and lifted him up. Dean and Seamus grabbed onto his legs and the vertical tug-of-war began.
Parvati Patil and Pansy Parkinson had a temporary mutual friendship as they stood back-to-back, swatting away the pixies that were messing up their hair.
Ron was being attacked by the blue creatures, but wasn't doing much to fight back. His wand lay abandoned on his desk as he shrieked and backed off, trying to pry them away with his fingers. Hermione, however, was more equipped to deal with the onslaught. Grabbing her copy of Year with the Yeti – the largest Lockhart book, she whacked them hard enough to send one flying against the wall with an ear-slamming squeak.
The Slytherin goons, Crabbe and Goyle were hiding beneath their desk, ink dripping from their hair and the former ink pots now shattered on the floor where the pixies had dropped them. Nott and Malfoy had their wands pointing around and seemed to be casting stunners that once in a while actually hit their target.
"Come on now – round them up, round them up, they're only pixies" Lockhart shouted over Lavender and Sophie's squeals as they held pixies clamped in their hands as far away as they could reach while the pests snapped at their fingers. "Peskipiski Pesternomi!" He brandished his wand, but before he could finish the spell, one of the pixies snatched his wand and threw it out of the already smashed window.
The bell rang signalling the end of the lesson and there was a chaotic rush for the exit. Malfoy and Nott – the closest to the door – were the first out. Pansy and Parvati madly dived for safety, getting in the way of Sophie and Lavender who had the same idea. They crashed together and went spinning through the doors. Just before the doors slammed closed, Goyle slipped through, leaving a whimpering Crabbe in their hiding place.
I remained swatting at the air. Dean and Seamus were stubbornly refusing to let go of their friend, despite their faces being scratched and gnawed by sharp claws and teeth.
"Well I'll ask you lot to just nip the rest of them back into their cage" Lockhart said, standing at the top of the steps. He ducked into his office, slamming the door behind him.
"Can you believe him?" Ron roared.
Most of the pixies had escaped through the smashed windows. A couple were lying unconscious on the floor, having been hit particularly hard. I started picking those back up and chucking them into the cage. Hermione immobolised a few with a well-remembered freezing charm. The two pixies holding Neville up realised the battle was lost, dropped the boy and whizzed out of the window.
Seamus leapt out of the way as he hit the floor, Dean wasn't so lucky and got knocked to the ground as well.
"Well this was fun" I said sarcastically, "Maybe next time he'll throw us into a fully-grown dragon's pen and lock the door behind us"
"He was just giving us some hands on experience" Hermione defended, gathering up her things.
"Hands on? Hermione, he didn't even know what he was doing!"
"Rubbish!" Hermione replied, "You've read his books – look at all those amazing things he's done-"
"He says he's done" Ron muttered as Hermione helped her housemates to the infirmary.
There was a clear blue sky outside, so the light filtering through the green water into the Slytherin common room was bright and flooded the usually dim room. When lessons had ended that afternoon, I had gone down to Hagrid's hut. I hadn't had much interactions with the half-giant, but it was Hagrid, and I wanted to get to know one of the most awesome characters from the books, so I used the excuse of being interested in magical creatures.
Hagrid had talked for almost an hour. Of course, his interest in dragons had dimmed slightly, but he mentioned Acromantulas – much to my amusement – and thestrals – though I didn't tell him I could see them. He said he had been writing letters to a Hippogriff breeder as he wanted to keep a couple and perhaps train them. And then he admitted to getting a breeding book from the library so he could breed Blast Ended Skewts – a cross between Manticores and Firecrabs.
On my way back up to the castle, I had nabbed a pebble from the lake shore. I had also taken a book out of the library involving some more complex spells. One I was desperate to learn was the summoning charm.
"Accio pebble" I tried again, to no success. It remained firmly on the table on the other side of the room. The chapter on summoning charms suggested I use a light object to start with and then work towards getting the weight up. I knew I was getting the pronounciation correctly, and the curved wand movement was potentially correct.
I cleared my mind again, picturing the pebble. "Accio Pebble!"
I sighed and slumped against the sofa which I was sat. How did Harry manage to learn the spell on the night before the first task of the Triwizard Tournament?"
"Deverill" Flint called, stepping through the wall with Bletchley and Derrick behind him. "Are you busy?"
I gazed longingly at the pebble and shook my head.
"Good" He commented, sitting down opposite me on the sofa. Bletchley perched on the arm and Derrick slid next to me. "We have received a donation from Mr Malfoy, Nimbus Two Thousand and Ones for the whole team…"
"It's a pretty good deal" Bletchley interrupted, earning a glare from the Quidditch captain.
"…if we let Draco Malfoy on the team as seeker" He continued. "And we were wondering, seeing as you're in his year, if you knew whether he was good"
I frowned, "I guess he's alright"
"Better than Higgs" Derrick snorted.
"Anyone's better than Higgs" Bletchley countered.
"Don't be mean" I scolded them. "But, Harry Potter is trying out for the Gryffindor team and I've seen him fly. He's really good! And Draco won't be able to beat him"
"But he's the best we've got" Flint sighed, "And with this, we'll also get the good brooms"
"Why don't you add something to the deal?" I suggested – in a rather cunning, Slytherin way.
All three of their interests peaked. "Like what?" Flint asked.
"The Malfoy's are rich, so exploit it. Get him to donate whole new sets of Quidditch robes for the team, and new broomstick care kits. He has friends in high places, so get him to contact someone on a professional Quidditch team to come here and give us some tips. Lord Malfoy can give us so much more than just a couple of brooms in order for his Heir to get on the team. Oh, and we don't want to be accused of agreeing to bribery, so instead of Malfoy donating them to the team, make him gift them to each member. We'd all own the brooms, instead of the team, so it's not really a bribe. It's just a present, of sorts"
"Okay, how should I phrase the letter?"
"Derrick, you have a dicto-quill, right?"
"I have one" Bletchley supplied, running over the nearest desk where there was one. I wasn't certain it was his.
I set it up before starting. The others cutting in with bits and pieces.
Dear Mr Malfoy,
As much as your offer is appreciated. We have decided that in order to accept, there must be more on the table for us. We propose that in addition to the new brooms, you will also donate to us, brand new, high quality sets of Quidditch robes and other gear, as well as a couple of broomstick repair kits.
Furthermore, the brooms you buy will not be owned by the team – as we don't desire to be accused of accepting bribery. Instead, each member of the team will own the broom you gift to us.
Hoping you will consider our updated offer,
The Slytherin Quidditch Team.
"I'll go up to the owlery and send this to him. He better accept" said Flint, marching back out of the Slytherin Common Room once we'd decided the letter was well written.
"The other teams are going to be so jealous of our brooms" Bletchley said gleefully.
I ignored him, focusing on the pebble again, "Accio pebble!"
"You're doing the wand movement too big" Derrick said. I blinked at him and he sighed. "It's more of an arched flick, and it sort of vibrates up your arm…like so. Accio pebble" I watched his wrist as the pebble soared over to him. "Depulso" He said afterwards, and the pebble was banished back to its starting position. "Try it now"
"Accio pebble!" I called and the pebble edged to the end of the table and fell off onto the floor.
"That's better. You'll have to practise it though" Derrick said. "Why are you learning the charm anyway?"
"So I can summon Dumbledore's hat while he's eating" I said calmly, before standing up to get my pebble and leaving the common room without looking back at Derrick's humoured expression.
Fred and George were bickering as they came around the corner. George was wearing a coat even though it was already boiling in the corridor.
"Why are you waiting outside?" Fred chirped. He was in a good mood. George's didn't seem quite as happy.
"I made some modifications, so unless you knew them, you wouldn't be able to get into the room" I explained, pushing the black door open and letting them see the changes I had made.
There was a large window that was open and a fireplace that wasn't lit as it the weather was way too warm to have it burning. There were several sofas and beanbags, a desk with a high stack of books and a more suitable chair than the others.
"How are you getting on with your transformation?" I asked, choosing a sofa to lie down on.
"Yeah, George" Fred grinned, "How are you getting on with your transformation?"
George took off his coat to show grey feather hanging out of his sleeve and going onto the back of his hand. "I can't turn it back" He sounded horrified.
"Just picture your human form" I answered calmly.
"Yeah, just look at me, and you'll be fine" Fred said.
"No" I said quickly, "You're not completely identical, so it won't work. Just relax and picture the feather becoming skin again"
George closed his eyes, laying down completely on the sofa and calming his breathing.
"So, Iz, how's your transformation going?" Fred asked.
"Seriously!" George snapped his eyes open, "I'm trying to concentrate"
"Noise cancelling headphones" I said and the room complied. I handed them to George who examined them oddly. I rolled my eyes and put them on him for them. "He can't hear us anymore" I told Fred. George's eyes widened as he watched my lips move but no noise come out. He got the idea and closed his eyes again. "My transformation is going alright" I answered, "Look what I can do with my claws" I made a fist and then sprang my fingers apart with a click. My claws were sticking out of the tips. I grinned, "I've been practising that a lot. I figured it would be a great technique if I ever needed to threaten someone"
Fred stared at me for a moment, before showing what he had managed to do. His eyes shrunk in his head until they were tiny, beady and black.
"That looks so creepy" I exclaimed and he turned back laughing.
"Everything looks weird through bird eyes" He admitted.
"Are you not trying feathers yet?"
"Are you not trying fur?" He countered.
I chuckled and lay across the sofa, closing my eyes and picturing the white fur spreading up my arms.
"Cool" Fred said and I looked down at my hands. The tips of the fingers surrounding the claws had sleek white fur. But that wasn't why Fred had spoken. He was looking into the mirror in awe. And with good reason. All of the hair on his head had been turned into orange feathers.
"Wrong colour" I smirked.
"It's harder than it looks" Fred snapped back, shaking his head out. The feathers returned to hair. "Hey, look! Georgie got rid of the feathers on his hand!"
"They're still on his neck though"
Fred smirked, "I hope I don't get stuck like that"
"He won't be stuck like that forever"
"Yeah, but how difficult is that to hide? We're not registered Animagi"
"I was thinking about that" I started, "Once I can complete the transformation, I think I'm going to register. It will be too difficult to hide the double heartbeat and if I ever had a medical check-up, they'd realise something was odd"
"Fair enough" Fred shrugged, "I guess if we register with you, we'll be recognised as Animagi. I want to see Percy's face when he finds out"
"What about your mother's reaction?" I grinned and the colour drained from his face.
"If she finds out George is stuck with feathers, she'll kill me"
"Us" I corrected, "I guess I could turn into a fox and live that way for the rest of my life"
"As an arctic fox, I doubt you'd survive long in Britain. But as a fox, I guess you might be able to give puppy eyes. Mum would never stay mad at you"
I laughed at that and Fred went back to concentrating on making his hair turn into black and white feathers with a hint of teal.
An hour later, only the tips of them had turned black. We tapped George and he took the headphones off.
He peeled back his sleeves and was delighted to find only pale skin, but the cut-off point was his elbow, and it was still all down his back.
"On the bright side, you did so well getting that far along" I said and he grunted in acknowledgement.
As much as it was amusing to watch my friend struggle with his feathery problem, I was also worried that he would truly get stuck in his half-transformed form. It would take one accidental slip for him to end up in Azkaban and ruin the whole Fred and George storyline with their Diagon Alley shop and Umbridge-bashing.
It might not have been the most important plot, but I damn-well wasn't planning on messing up anything good from the books.
NOTE: I edited this chapter, and then accidentally clicked x without saving and had to go back through it, yay for me. I preferred it the first time (I think).
Please review. I could really do with some feedback!