When I woke up, there was a crystal vase of large, beautiful blooms on the side table in a mesmerizing swirl of white and blue.
I reached for the card that was propped up next to it. Thankfully, the flap wasn't tucked in or sealed and made little noise upon being picked up
I opened it and ogled at the gorgeous, loopy handwriting. It was a note of congratulation and well wishes from Rhoda.
I tucked the card back away with a smile and turned to where my friends sat.
Jun and Nanette were completely engrossed in the HoloNet News. Mon Mothma was everywhere.
They were playing clips from all parts of her career: Republic, Clone Wars, Imperial, and New Republic. No footage existed of her during the Rebellion for obvious reasons.
They even played the clip of her laughing after Jun decked Fey'lya.
I chuckled lightly at the clip, and my friends jumped.
"You're awake!" Jun seemed shocked.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" I said.
Nanette sniffed.
"Nettie, have you been crying more?"
"No. Allergies."
I smiled.
"Rhoda stopped by briefly," Nanette smiled, suddenly star struck. "She said she saw it on the Holonet. Asenath, she knew my name."
"You can thank Leia for that."
"She also left this box for you. I think it might be something for Miriam," Jun said handing me a beautifully wrapped box with a silver ribbon and bow. The paper was similar in looks to the dress I wore that she made a few months before.
I took it but didn't do anything. It was too perfect to open.
It was quiet as a tomb.
"Ummm...Asenath? Are you gonna open it?"
"I...it…er...should I?"
"Yes!" they both exclaimed.
Nanette seemed excited about it, and Jun was just curious as to what someone like Rhoda would possibly select for an infant.
I carefully broke the seal and pulled the ribbon and bow away.
The box under the paper was a crisp white. I pulled the lid.
Inside, was an incredibly soft, orange blanket with black stripes. There was also a green baby dress and bow, as well as a pair of bloomers. The label on the clothing was Rhoda's.
I was floored once again by her generosity, yet confused as to how she would have known I was having a girl.
"She had two boxes and asked us if you had a boy or girl. She took the other box with her," Jun explained.
They were beautiful and just right somehow for my little one, though I hadn't seen her yet.
"You want to go see Miriam?" Jun asked.
"Yeah, I do."
Jun grabbed my left arm and Nanette my right.
My legs were weak, but my friends were strong. Nanette helped me into the hospital issued robe.
My friends helped me walk- more shuffle- to the NICU.
I held my bracelet up to the glass. The Emdee droid scanned it, then rolled over to the bed my child lay in.
Between the IV lines, monitors, and oxygen provider, Miriam looked fragile, though her size made her look large compared to the rest of the little ones and I suddenly felt guilty about it somehow.
"Asenath, don't feel guilty about anything. They wouldn't have brought her up here if she didn't need some extra help," Jun said sternly.
"You feel guilty about this? If you should feel guilty about anything, it should be not calling me sooner," Nettie scoffed.
From the angle I was standing, though, I could just see a shock of red hair on that baby.
I put my hands on my face and began to cry. Jun tightened his grip on me, and I moved into his arms. Rancor and Porg. Nanette reached over and hugged me as well.
I put my right hand on the glass and reached out with the Force, locating her mind.
I found it.
Be strong, little one. You can beat this. I know you can.
My friends took me back to my room.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I was released after two days. Miriam had to stay.
Jun, Luke, and Nanette had to drag me out of the hospital, to the extent of prying my fingers off of door frames. I didn't want to leave my baby.
Evening light was bathing the roof where Luke's speeder was parked.
"Asenath, someone will bring you everyday to see her, okay?" Luke promised.
Nanette and Jun tried to soothe me while I sobbed the entire journey back home.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
By the time we arrived back at home, my breasts were hurting.
Jun and Luke immediately excused themselves, but Nanette stayed while I pumped milk to take to the med center later for Miriam.
"Does that hurt?" she asked.
"Nah. Feels good, actually, because it takes the pressure off of them. Pain, too."
"Huh. Well, I'm going to hang around here for a few days to help out while your hoo-ha heals."
"It's okay, Nanette. You don't have to."
"Asenath, you just shoved a baby out of your vajayjay. You need to rest for a few more days."
She wasn't going to budge, so I gave in.
She sat across from me while I cleaned up and shoved my boobs back inside the new nursing bra and shirt.
"So," I decided to change the conversation, "how's Neri?"
"Neri? Fine, I guess. Why?"
"He ask you out yet?"
"Um...he do what?"
"Ask. You. Out. He's totally gaga over you."
"Oh. I hadn't noticed."
Disappointed, I risked another question.
"Do you like him?
"Me? Pfft what? No."
She blushed.
"Come on. He's a nice guy."
She sighed.
"Yes, Az. I like him."
"Then you should ask him out," I said.
"What?! No."
"Why not?" I probed. I wanted to know. "He likes you. I know he does."
"Do you know what playing hard to get is?"
"Huh?" I had not heard of such a thing.
Nettie put her head in her hands.
"I don't know how to explain it right. You know I've been...hurt. You've seen me struggle to trust and open up. You, Jun, and Whango are all I have. Don't tell Jun that, though. How am I supposed to go up to a guy- a co-worker, no less- and say 'Hi, I'm screwed up. Wanna go on a date?'"
"What would you say if he asked you?" I said as I grimaced and adjusted my position on the chair.
"No...yes...I don't know. I like him. But right now, to him, I'm this mysterious girl that knows her way around motors and repairs. I like teasing him. And don't look at me like that, Asenath."
"You've worked together for nearly two years, Nettie."
"Tell you what: if he by some miracle asks me out, I will agree. Happy?" she asked sharply.
I felt defensive at her tone.
"Sorry. I am trying not to concentrate on Miriam. I shouldn't be pushy. But I like him. I love you. I just wonder what could happen."
"Az, don't apologize. Honestly, I lay in bed at night and run scenarios through my head. But he hasn't asked and I can't get myself to do it.
"As for Miriam, she's safe, she's warm, she's loved, and she'll be there in the morning. Speaking of which, you look exhausted. Come on. I'll help you get to bed."
I didn't argue, and Nanette laid out a pair of soft, grey, pajamas with pink stitching.
I needed more help than I thought getting my tunic and pants off. I was sore in other places besides my "hoo-ha."
"Have you talked to Whango? Does he know you are with me? Is he mad?"
"Crap. Should probably call him."
I felt guilty and started crying. "I'm sorry…"
Nanette fought a fit of giggles.
"It's not your fault, Az. It's mine."
"More like my body's."
"Asenath, stop. I will call him, tell him why I'm not home, and it will be fine. Promise."
By then, Nanette had me tucked into the sheets and laying down.
"Thank you, Nettie."
"Of course."
She left me, and I quickly fell asleep.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Fey'lya wins the election. Miriam is not with me, but I sit with the other Jedi and Jun in the audience. Fey'lya sits on Mon Mothma's "throne" wearing purple robes trimmed with rodent fur.
His eyes settle on Jun. Jun stares back, concentration unbroken.
The scene shifts. Fey'lya and Jun remain unchanged, except for their clothes. We are all now in the courtroom. Jun is sitting at the defense table.
They exchange words, but I hear no sounds.
Jun leaps at Fey'lya, and after a flash, there is blood. I can't tell whose. The puddle grows and I am forced onto my hands and knees in the pool.
I look up, and both Jun and Fey'lya are gone.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I woke up screaming. My hands and shirt were wet and sticky, and my brain was scrambled.
Nanette rushed in and pushed my magnets onto my head.
"What's wrong?" she asked gently, trying to calm me down.
"Jun! He's in trouble!"
"What do you mean? We just saw him when he left a couple of hours ago."
"No...not now. It's coming. When the sun rises, Fey'lya will be the Supreme Chancellor. He will try and kill him. Maybe not tomorrow, but it's coming. Someone is going to die. There was so much blood…"
"Let's get you cleaned up, and then we will call Jun.
I stood up and realized there was blood and milk everywhere. My sheets, mattress cover, and pajamas were all ruined. I managed to take my pants off, my thighs were slathered in blood.
"Nettie, I'm going to be sick."
"Bathroom. Now."
I stumbled my way into the bathroom and made it to the toilet, just as the first wave worked its way completely out.
I flushed the fresher and managed to barely pull my shirt off over my head before I puked again.
I flushed and went again.
Nanette came in, looking just a tad traumatized by all of the blood, milk, and puke.
"Nettie, it's everywhere," I cried and retched again.
Nanette pulled back my hair from the action. Then she rubbed my back, unbothered by my near nakedness.
"It's going to be okay," she said as she stood to turn on my shower.
"Get in when you're ready."
I sat staring at the fresher for another few minutes before I stood and stripped off what little else I had on and stepped in shower. The special pad from the clinic must have become dislodged while I was thrashing, because it was all whopper jawed and squished.
Now I know why there is so much blood everywhere else.
The water was the perfect temperature, and I used a washcloth to wash the blood and milk from my torso, hands, and inner thighs. I nearly puked again when I remembered the last time I had wiped blood away from my inner thighs was after the rape. I lathered up my hair and rinsed it. I was doing a conditioning treatment when Nanette came in.
You feeling better? She signed as she poked her head into the shower.
Yeah. I'm sorry about this.
Would you stop apologizing? It's okay. I'm sure if the roles were reversed you'd do the same for me.
I would.
Anyway, I pulled off the mattress cover, stripped your sheets, put the ruined stuff in the washer and laid out clean stuff for you.
Thank you.
I've called Jun. He should be here soon.
Okay.
She left, and I hurried up.
I wrapped my hair up in a towel and put my magnets on. I figured it would be okay as long as I wasn't dripping.
I threw on the clean clothes and Jun was sitting at the kitchen table.
"This better be good. I had to put on clothes, because I sleep in the nude."
"That's an image that I did not need," Nanette gagged.
"Me, either. Jun, I had a dream."
Jun seemed angry.
"That was hardly worth the panic. I know you're worried about Miriam, but I'm sure she's fine."
"Jun, I know this isn't like me, but I'm certain it was prophetic. I don't think I've ever had one know that. But I'm certain this is the real deal."
"She scared me half to death with her screaming," Nanette said.
"It can't be that bad."
"Jun, in the morning, Fey'lya will be named Supreme Chancellor. He's out for blood. Your blood. He'll crucify you if he can. Both of you were in the courtroom together. Whose blood was on the floor is unclear."
"Can't be."
"I believe her, Jun."
"It's not that I don't believe her, but Asenath proved her innocence, so I don't see anyone being at risk."
"Jun, you are in DANGER!" I insisted.
"If I am?"
"We have a plan, dummy," Nanette said.
I sat in a chair across from them.
"A good plan?"
All three of us got to work, formulating a foolproof plan for "armageddon."