A/N - typical disclaimer that this is not 100% canon!
She felt lost, as if she were slipping away from herself. It was a feeling she'd never felt before. She'd always felt so secure in life; so free. They'd just recently made a new home here. Her parents felt as though she belonged in nature. She had a calling, and after chasing her into the woods on multiple occasions, they finally decided to go where she'd always ran. There were these people known as the Northuldra. They'd welcomed these newcomers without a second thought, welcoming them to their land and home. She fit in perfectly. It gave her parents a peace of mind.
It was a lonely night when she'd encountered her first spirit; a night that unknowingly was about to change her life forever. If she'd known, even then, that this encounter would be the reason her life was cut short, she would've stayed at the camp where she knew she was safe. But she had such a desire to view the river. She wanted to sleep next to the fast-flowing waters. She wanted to keep her hand in it at all times. It felt safe to her. She'd considered swimming, but knew it would only bring her trouble.
This river always seemed to bring her trouble. That never stopped her; she always returned. Day in, day out. She'd sneak out in the night when everyone else was sleeping. The stars gave her enough light, though she preferred the utter darkness that the woods offered. She liked to close her eyes and walked blindly. She'd tripped, fallen down hills, walked into trees and more, many times, but it never bothered her. She was just shy of her ninth birthday, too young to have a care in the world. Too young to know better.
When she saw the spirit on the other side of the river, she stared at it. She didn't say anything. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, eyes full of wonder.
She remembered how unnatural it felt. She remembered her younger self sitting by the water, watching this entity. She remembered the light it let off onto the surrounding trees. No matter how hard she tried to focus, how much effort she put into remembering, she couldn't picture the entity itself. It was a blur. It was driving her mad; she'd spent over twenty years trying to put the pieces together, and failed each time.
She'd been here before. In this cold, isolated room. It was a secret; her secret. Not even her dear husband knew. She hadn't been here in fourteen years, since she was pregnant with her second and last child. After her first was born with magic, she was desperate to know if her second would be the same. What she'd found hadn't brought her any ease then, and it wasn't bringing her any ease now. She tried not to obsess. She had decided then not to stress, fearing it would harm her baby. When the child was born normal, she gradually forgot about what she'd read.
It had frightened her, not because it would affect the child's life. It frightened her because it meant her eldest had the potential to be problematic.
It made her angry with herself. To have doubt before giving them a chance. To be afraid before knowing. She'd sworn not to view her children by their abilities or lack-there-of, and yet, here she was. Back in this same room. Alone. Terrified of losing both of them. The tales she'd read before were beginning to be true. Her family was living in fear; their child out of control.
It was their fault. She knew it. She knew it with every fibre of her being. They made a dire mistake. They handled a situation poorly, and it could cost all of them their lives. She knew it had to be dealt with. It couldn't be left to fester any longer. Anna needed answers. Elsa deserved to know where her power came from. They deserved to be together. They'd be so patient; so understanding There was too much weight on their shoulders. They needed release.
She'd tried so desperately to contact the spirit that had met her that night thirty years ago. She read through countless tomes, tried various spells- it was all to no avail. She was about ready to give up when she instead had the life scared out of her. Someone spoke to her.
She hadn't heard the words as she grabbed at her heart and spun around with a gasp. There was a woman and a young child by the entrance to the room. Their dark clothes and dark skin made it difficult to make out details in the dimly-lit room, but she could see their outlines perfectly. It made her heart sink. "Who are you?"
The woman released the child's hand and took a few steps closer. She held out a folded piece of paper. Iduna took it with caution, not taking her eyes off the woman as she unfolded it. She looked down with hesitance and read the words as quickly as she could. It confused her. She began to speak as she lifted her head, but the two were gone. It made her stagger backwards into the desk.
"Are you scared?" The child's voice startled her again. She turned to her left. The little girl was sitting on a table nearby, swinging her legs gently. "You don't have to be scared. We wanna help."
"You can help me?" It was worth the risk by this point. Anna was almost fifteen. It scared Iduna, because it acted as a milestone. Ten years since things went wrong. Ten years since those kids last got to see each other. "I don't know what to do. I need a little guidance."
The child nodded, "we know. And we need Anna."
She lost her words as fear overcame her. "What do you need of my Anna?"
"You abandoned your people for love." Iduna turned to the owner of the voice. The woman was only a few inches away. If she'd had any start left in her, she probably would've screamed that time. "You were chosen...and you left. Why?" The woman sounded hurt; confused.
Iduna had to think of her words quickly, though she tried to think cautiously, too. "I didn't have a choice," she replied softly. "And even if I had wanted to return, I was unable. I cannot focus on what was lost. I only have space to focus on what I have; what I could lose now. It's my daughters… They're in need, and I'm beginning to feel helpless in this world."
"The answers are never as complicated as we make them out to be," the woman replied. "You must slow down. Think critically."
"I know what Anna is capable of," she announced. It seemed to surprise the other woman. Iduna sighed, placing the piece of paper on the desk beside her. "I know what she's supposedly made for. I cannot tell her the truth."
"You doubt her?"
"Lord, no! I could never doubt her," she defended. "I believe in her- I believe in both of them, undoubtedly. But I worry." Her voice was full of warmth and love, sadness and fear. "As a mother, I worry. I worry about their futures; about their health. No person should have such pressure placed atop their shoulders. My Anna is not here to save or sacrifice for my Elsa. She cannot ever think that her purpose in life is to serve another. I need to find a way to help Elsa, for the sake of them both."
"Have you considered giving some faith to the youngster?" the woman questioned, walking past, standing next to the child who was still sitting on the table. "Have you considered letting Anna decide her purpose in life?"
Of course she had. Many times. Too many times, in fact. But Agnarr wouldn't stand for it. It was the only thing they'd disagreed on, as a couple, as parents, as people. This was the only situation they couldn't see eye to eye on. "I am not her only influence," she said. "I am not her only parent. And her father believes it would be better for both of them to remain separated until we know for sure that Elsa isn't a danger to anyone." She couldn't admit how much those words pained her. She swallowed a lump in her throat.
"They will not prevail without each other," the woman revealed. "You must know this. You understand how these things work."
She did. She nodded. "Yes, but-"
"Then you must do what is right."
Nobody was going to tell her what the "right" thing to do is. She knew that. People were going to lose either way. Sacrifices always had to be made. "When I was a girl, there was this… spirit that spoke to me," she began. "I was told of my own purpose; my own destiny. That I'd be faced with many trials in life, all in which would act as tests that would then determine my overall fate. I'm afraid I've already failed enough to doom me. I may not be able to spare myself, but I cannot let my children suffer the same- whatever my fate may be, they mustn't associate with it. They're children. They know nothing of the world."
There was a silence in the room for a moment whilst Iduna waited for the woman to form a response. Then she did. "Your little one is a gift."
The words frustrated her. She felt the energy rise within her, but she managed to contain most of it. "My little one is a person above all else. They do not need a grand purpose or magic to make them special."
The woman shook her head, "of course not. They are special on their own. Gifts in their own way. But unfortunately, Iduna, there are things in this world that we cannot control, and your little one is needed. You cannot keep her in the dark about this. She needs to know."
She couldn't. She took a few steps back, running her fingers through her hair, taking a deep breath. She turned her back to the two for a moment to calm down. Then she spoke painfully, "my Anna is the purest of all souls. If she felt the world needed her… she'd do anything for it. She'd die for it. And I cannot have that."
"If that is the path she chooses for herself, then who are you to get in her way?"
A mother cannot lose her child. "If you knew-" She began to turn as she spoke. The woman interrupted her; "I do know." She put her hand on the child's shoulder. "As a mother, I know. As a mother in a similar position to yours, I know. I lost my own child to this. My companion through life- my entire family. All for the sake of a world I no longer get to live in. These are the sacrifices we make for the greater good of everyone else. It is a choice, Iduna. Not a prophecy. Not a destiny. Your child has the opportunity- an opportunity that nearly nobody else has- and you would be cruel to keep that from her."
She sat on a nearby chair, exhausted. Defeated. She hung her head in despair. "I saw a glimpse of her future," she said softly. "I have no idea who she could end up in such a place. How she could feel so much pain." She sat up, looking back at the woman. "She was grieving. Agnarr and I were not in her thoughts at that time. She was grieving Elsa. I cannot sleep anymore. I cannot breathe."
The woman reached out and took Iduna's hand. "I understand, my love. I understand it all. The fear and the confusion; the utter despair and helplessness. But you must have faith that the darkness will not loom over her for long."
"I worry about my Anna's heart," she replied. "I do. But the thought of my Elsa… dying." She could barely say it aloud. "I cannot bear it. If she ends up out there in the world, then she somehow found pride in herself- she found an inner strength, and she made it- she freed herself, and you're telling me she's going to die?!"
The woman held up a calming hand. "Nobody truly dies. Their soul moves on, and their memory remains. Death is never the end."
As truthful as those words felt, they offered her zero comfort. The woman continued; "You only saw a glimpse. The spirits will show you what will scare you. They want you to keep these girls apart."
"I don't understand this," she stressed. Her fingers curled inwards, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. "This isn't right. They're children. There has to be a way to disassociate them."
"You can remove their abilities," the woman revealed, though she seemed disappointed in having to make that statement. "You can go to Ahtohallan and beg for mercy. You can beg the spirits to remove your children from this spotlight. But there are always consequences, Iduna. Always. The journey will be dire; you will not return. Is that a sacrifice you'd be willing to make? You'd leave your children alone in the world, with no answers as to why you left them in the first place?"
The guilt felt paralysing. She felt her stomach knot; it forced her to sit up straighter, arching her back slightly to relieve the pain. It didn't help much. No. We cannot do that. She shook her head. "They suffer either way." It was a realisation. There was no good answer. No right thing to do.
"That is Anna's test. She must face her inner darkness and prevail. Only then will she be chosen."
Iduna was subconsciously shaking her head. "What is the point of all of this?"
"It's very complex, my love." The woman leaned a bit closer, resting her arms on her legs. "I'm not sure explaining it would do you much good." She considered, then; "in essence, there is a greater power at work here. There are things that happen in this world that we cannot understand. Things happen out of our control all the time. In this case, there is a possibility for us to have some control."
"What is it that we're trying to control?" she urged. "That spirit I saw- what did it want from me? What does this have to do with my children?"
"Can I explain it?" the child asked. With a nod of approval, she hopped down and climbed onto Iduna's lap. "You were chosen by that spirit. It liked you. The others agreed that you were pure- you could give them connection to the mortal world. You acted as a bridge!" she explained with enthusiasm. "That's why they let you use their power for fun. Because they trusted you, and you made them trust your people, too. And then you proved yourself when you saved Agnarr! And so they gave you a gift: Elsa. She's the magic that connected you to magic, so that you'd never be too far from home. But it's too much, and it doesn't feel like a gift. But soon, Elsa will be the bridge, and then she'll be fine! She has to find herself first."
"And what about Anna?"
The child smiled, shaking a little with excitement as she found her words to speak. "Anna will save us! She was pure from the beginning. Created in pure love, and brought into a family of love. Love is her! She is love. Everybody loves her, and she loves everybody! The spirits will choose her later in life, but not yet. She has no predetermined destiny. It's all chance! She isn't for Elsa; she's for the world."
Iduna felt her confusion return. She looked at the woman, then back at the kid. "So… Anna has no magic of any kind?"
They both shook their heads. "No."
"They have an opportunity," the woman stated simply. "That's all. Whether or not they decide to take it is up to them. The problem here is that you're in the way. It's already been too long. The innocence of a child is what was needed; all we can do is hope that Anna never loses her innocence. At least not before she's needed."
"There are angry spirits," the child added quickly. "They're dark and scary," she held her hands up, snarling as if acting out some sort of monster, "and they want to hurt the good spirits of Ahtohallan."
"And the chosen one is chosen by the good spirits to help defeat the bad ones?"
The child nodded, then shrugged, then nodded again. "Kind of. Anna doesn't believe in good and evil," she explained. "Well, not right now at least. She believes the world is grey; people are good and bad. So, we're hoping she'll be able to reason with the spirits."
"You're… hoping," Iduna repeated.
The child's gaze fell, and after a moment, the woman spoke: "we're not sure if a person can defeat them," she admitted. "Especially a mortal. But if she's the right kind of hero, then-"
Iduna held her hand up, interrupting. She couldn't hear anymore. "We will go to Ahtohallan. Ask the spirits to spare them. This is too much. Anna and Elsa deserve normality, not spiritual wars."
"You'll regret going," the child said quietly. She looked up at the queen with concern; there was a warning tone in her voice. "You'll wish you hadn't gone."
Iduna lost her words again. She stared into the child's lifeless brown eyes, then picked her up and placed her aside, soon standing on her own. She looked at the woman. "I thank you for your information. How shall I thank you?"
The woman smiled and shook her head. "No need. The only thing you can do for us, you've already refused to do."
Iduna felt her pleasantries slip away, though she refrained from frowning. She forced a tense smile, then turned to walk away.
"Iduna."
She stopped, looking over her shoulder. The woman spoke gently; "you will never forgive yourself for the damage that has already been caused to your daughters. Shall you leave them alone; shall you die chasing answers for a problem you won't even acknowledge with them, you will cause irreversible damage. And although Elsa will be forgiving and understanding, Anna will not be so kind. You cannot keep a person in the shadows, neglect their needs, and refuse to give them any sort of explanation, and then expect them to be kind to you. It's an anger that will hit her later in life. A pain that will seep into her soul and keep her from ever forgiving you."
Her world froze for a moment. Time stood still. She looked down at the bracelet tied around her wrist. A craft her at-the-time three and six-year-olds had made for her. She cherished the detail; the love that they put into it. She imagined all the things they could be making now, as teenagers. How annoying they'd be together; chasing each other. Teasing each other. They should be staying up late together, braiding hair and dreaming about the world. They should be fighting and screaming at each other; there should be doors slamming and hurt feelings. There should be healing and learning, together, but there isn't. And there hasn't been for nearly ten years. Will it be another decade before they see each other's faces?
She turned around. She was ready to listen. To find a solution. Ahtohallan wasn't the answer. There was always another way. She knew she was going to be here for a while. "You know my name. May I ask yours?"
The woman smiled warmly. "Eira. My name is Eira."
Disclaimer: This is my own version of Iduna. Not 100% canon. I've changed her story up a little bit, but won't dive too deep into it.
Teaser/spoiler unrelated to this chapter: lots of Kristanna coming your way! May even need a content warning for one chapter... ;)
Nothing in this fic will be rated M, tho :') Hopefully what's coming will all be worth the wait!
Thank you again for your support xx