The day has come. The wedding is already in its first phases of preparation...all at the Chateau Selwyn.
In the wedding hall, a talented Ravenclaw witch plays a harp. She performs her own instrumental rendition of Nikki Minaj's "Right Thru Me." (How do you do that shit, how do you do that shit...?)
Here and there, cats wander about the castle. They're all mostly white or calico. Two are Siamese. One's a Persian.
For security, the Romanian Selwyns have a white tiger...that's half-Kneazel. Most of the time, though, she sits at the end of a hall, bathing herself. As much as she, too, loves the Gaunts...she doesn't seem to approve of Marcus's bride choice.
On a wall, a painting of Delores Umbridge hangs. The British Selwyns, at least, seem fond of her...
A Gryffindor wizard walks by, whips out his wand, and draws a red paint cock all over the painting. Umbridge, in her frame, seems to take offense to this.
"I WILL HAVE ORDER," she shouts. "I WILL HAVE...!"
A Slytherin wizard walks past, whips out his wand, and counters the cock spell. Umbridge smiles, straightens her hair, and resumes her usual posture.
"Thank you, Mr. Selwyn," she praises. "I did the right thing, recruiting you for the Inquisitorial Squad when I was Headmistress of Hogwarts..."
All of the bridesmaids have already arrived. Padma Patil, Parvati's Ravenclaw/prefect sister, is the maid of honor (no shock). The other bridesmaids are Hannah, Isobel MacDougal, Lavender Brown, Katie Bell, and Hermione Granger.
For this, Hermione's brought Crookshanks, her own half-Kneazel cat. He wanders about the halls, mousing, and getting to know the other cats. He gives Übermensch, the white tiger, a wide berth. But then, the other Kneazels do, too.
Lavender is here with her husband...as much as a lot of wedding guests will soon question that. A lot of witches and wizards still give Lavender a wide berth, knowing what her husband did to her before they got married. Lavender insists she's in control. Hermione isn't convinced... But then, she NEVER is, when it comes to Lavender...
Soon, the guests start arriving. They come in singles, pairs, and groups. They come via teleportation onto the grounds, Floo powder into the grates, flying horses, and flying cars. A few come via flying motorcycle; most are Aurors. The Knight Bus brings a few who get lost while trying to find the Chateau Selwyn...as unforgiveable as it should be for a fellow wizard to lose his way to the castle of a pureblood wizarding family. (The Selwyns' words; not wizardry's.)
The Yaxleys, Shafiqs, Rowles, Ollivanders, Noirs, Neros, Neguras, LeStranges, Gaunts, Flints, Carrows, and Bulstrodes are amongst the first to show up. When a pureblood man gets married, pureblood wizard families are always the first to show up. They all arrive in groups, in either flying cars or levitating carriages pulled by flying horses. The Shafiqs show up via flying carpet.
Romania's been trying to outlaw flying carpets for decades. Alas, there are some Romanians who'd rather take pride in their Ottoman Turkish heritage, than shame...as shitty as the Ottoman nobles were once to their Romanian subjects...
Theodosius II, now a vampire, shows up in a carriage pulled by thestrals. His misses his East Rome...but otherwise, vampirism seems to suit him. He looks a LOT like Tim Curry, from the miniseries Attila...the one where Gerard Butler plays the title character...
Vlad Drakul shows, too. A vampire, he once inspired a Muggle writer to create the fictional character Count Dracula. Or, DID he...?
Lisa Turpin arrives, with a plus one. She, Isobel, and Padma were once sorted into the same house at Hogwarts School.
Many wizard guests arrive with a Ukrainian witch or Squib plus one. Some of them are Shelestenkos. Rumor has it that one of the Malfoy men is married to a Shelestenko woman. And she is a VERY easy sight for sore eyes...
Minos of Crete, now a vamp, shows up with a plus one. No surprise, his plus one is a minotaur cow.
Mikhail Karkaroff shows up, with a plus one. He's kin to Igor Karkaroff, the late headmaster of Durmstrang Institute.
Pierre Goyle shows up from Cornwall, with Palomina Brockelhurst as his plus one. Good; it's about damn time those two tied the knot.
"We're NOT tying the knot," she keeps insisting. "We're just," she adjusts her blouse, "giving this a try. I do not expect it to work out. It never does, after all..."
Palomina's three blonde quintuplet daughters, the Brockelhurst Cuckoos, follow their mother into the castle. Each one's brought a plus one.
Leonid Dolohov arrives, with a plus one. He's kin to Antonin Dolohov, who was once a Death Eater.
Charlie Weasley arrives with a plus one...from Ukraine. It's good to see Charlie with a mate...even if she's just a loan from a Ukrainian brides agency.
Duchess Viala is a bit late...but she does show. Greyback, at least, knows why she's late. And if Tomor were here, he'd know too. Alas, Tomor isn't here; nor are any other merfolk...or centaurs. Both races automatically boycott any wizarding event where vamps and hags are welcome.
There are hags here, too. There aren't very many, but they are here. Most are here for the groom. A lot of them are male. It's mostly the hags' pet snakes who Marcus is well-acquainted with. If not for Marcus, or the Gaunts in general, many Romanian hags wouldn't know shit about how to tame their snakes.
From atop a hill far away, but close enough to have a view of the castle, a lone blue centaur stands, and watches the wedding through a scope. It's an invention of the centaurs', developed for the purpose of archery. Thankfully, though, Ronan's not aiming a bow. He shouldn't need to, if he's already got his father's Universal Weapon to account for...
So far, Ronan doesn't look like he's here to cause trouble. But like most things in Romanian wizardry, they always start out that way before they do cause trouble...
Initially, a lot of the wedding guests aren't expecting a lot of Muggles to show up. But they do.
First, Yukio arrives, in a little black dress and dyed pink hair. It breaks her heart to not be able to bring her chakram blades to this affair...but she does so, with respect to the bride and groom.
White Tiger, a hand ninja, arrives too. He knows tiger kung fu...and is also friends with Übermensch.
Werner von Strucker arrives...with a plus one. Ruby Hale, to be more specific.
Ward and Joy Meachum both arrive with plus-ones. With luck, the Hand won't try to take over Rand Enterprises in their absence. Alas, that seems unlikely. Most of the Hand's ninjas are attending this wedding.
Vlad Dracula, the Marvel universe's Count Dracula, arrives with a plus-one. It breaks his heart to. No woman, he thinks, will EVER replace his first love...
He runs into Vlad Drakul, on his way in. For many long moments, the two counts stare at one another... Alas, they soon move on from one another, and indulge in the wedding's welcome amenities.
Typhoid Marry arrives, in her blue ground force uniform...as her innocent, naive bimbo self. With luck, her two worse personalities will stay tucked in throughout the wedding...
Tombstone arrives, with a plus one. He's a black albino, from New York.
Stephanie Malik arrives, with a plus-one. A picture of her father, that she shows to Theodosius II, reminds Theodosius of a certain West Roman general who he once hated, about as much as he hated Attila the Hun...
Sister Grimm and LSD, the Runaways, both arrive, as a lesbian couple. There's no way in hell, Sister Grimm's pretty sure, that PRIDE or the Gibborim will find them here...
Morgan le Fay, alas, also attends. Lucky for LSD and Sister Grimm, though, she couldn't be less interested in bullying the Runaways. She's just overwhelmed by the man hot men here, to hit on...
The three Cassidy siblings, all mutants, also arrive, with plus ones: Banshee, Siryn, and Black Tom. Siryn and Black Tom both took a three-day pass from the X-Force to attend this wedding. Banshee's plus one looks an alarmingly lot like Sasha Pieterse...
Silver Samurai and Kirigi, of the Hand, both arrive, with plus-ones. In the wedding hall, they run into each other...and realize they look exactly like each other.
Silver Sable arrives, with a plus-one. She's not sure why she comes to these weddings. She's pretty sure her time and services are better spent back at Silver Sable International HQ in Symkaria...
Kayla Silverfox, a mutant, shows up, with a plus-one. She struggles to avoid the temptation to read everybody's mind...
Mac Gargan/Scorpion arrives, with a plus one. He's taking a break from the assembling Sinister Six.
Riptide descends onto the grounds, via his mutant power of wind control, handling a plus-one on his way down. He's a Latino with a forked tongue.
Revanche and Psylocke both show up with plus ones. They run into each other in the wedding hall...and stare at one another, like mirror images. They can't tell that they're each other in each other's bodies. But then, that's expected; Psylocke is British, and Revanche is Japanese.
Red Widow arrives, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Winter Guard, in Russia.
Quicksand arrives, with a plus-one. She struggles to keep herself from turning into the substance of her villainess name. Thankfully, though, the masculine security that her plus one's touch endows her with seems to be doing the trick. She's taking a break from the Masters of Evil to attend this wedding.
Proxima Midnight lands a spaceship on the castle grounds, and attends the wedding, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Black Order to be here.
Kimberly Gaunt/Princess Python arrives, with her signature python around her shoulders, like a slithery shawl. She meets a lot of Gaunts at the wedding, and she and her python both visit them. The python seems to understand what the Gaunts say...
Nakia/Malice arrives, with a plus one. (Not T'Challa...yet...)
Mr. Hyde arrives, taking a break from his vet clinic to do so. Thor and Daredevil have both been giving him a hard time, lately...
Morbius the Living Vampire arrives, with a plus one. Once arrived, he instantly starts bonding with Duchess Viala, Theodosius II, and Minos.
Dr. Petrov, the medical officer from the Red October, arrives, with a plus-one. He meets Theodosius II on his way in. Like mirror images, they stare at each other. They look exactly like each other...and so does Minos...
Moonstone arrives, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Masters of Evil to attend this wedding.
Moira MacTaggert arrives, with a plus-one (not Professor X). Behind her, Agent 13 straggles, with her plus-one. Inside, they meet...and stare at one another. They both work for the CIA.
Lance Hunter and Mockingbird both arrive, as a couple. Both seem very happy, ever since both gave up SHIELD...
Behind them, Jemma Simmons shows up, with a plus one. She's not quite over Fitz...but she's getting there. In the wedding hall, she runs into Hermione Granger...and they stare at one another. There's a LOT of resemblance...even if they're not exact doppelgangers...
Behind them, Daniel Sousa arrives, with a plus-one (not Quake, and not Peggy Carter). He still uses a cane to get around, alas.
Melter arrives, with a plus-one. He's taking a break from the Masters of Evil.
Mariko Yashida, CEO of Yashida Corp, arrives, with a plus-one (not Wolverine, and not Silver Samurai). Silver Samurai did invite her to be his plus-one...but she turned him down. Silver Samurai's shocked she didn't use her newfound social status as her excuse.
Mantis and Groot both arrive with plus-ones, taking a break from the Guardians of the Galaxy. Mantis waves her antennae around, getting a feel for the sentiment here. Alas, she's soon turned off by what she feels. It seems that very few female guests here want Parvati to marry Marcus...
Groot generates flowers from himself, and replaces a lot of the dying flowers at the wedding. When the Selwyns see this, they're tempted to fire their decorator...
Man-Thing arrives, with a plus-one. With his plant-based abilities, he helps Groot redecorate...
Alec Eiffel, Malekith the Accursed, the Inhuman Victor Kohl/Exile, Mole Man, and Marc Kumar all arrive, with plus-ones. Pepper Potts is Kumar's plus-one...as Kumar is her rebound guy, after the death of Tony Stark. They look great together. Mole Man wouldn't know, though. He's just as blind as his villain name suggests.
Lucky for all the wedding guests, they left their respective Mandarin rings at home. If only they could stop thinking about said rings, every once in a while...
Colossus and Magik, both mutants, both arrive with plus-ones. Magik's taking a break from the New Mutants, to be here. And Colossus is taking a MUCH-wanted break from Deadpool's rehab. Some days, Colossus doesn't know why he bothers...
Madame Masque arrives, with her face half-covered. She's taking a break from the Secret Empire.
Lady Gorgon arrives, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Nail.
Lady Bullseye arrives, with a plus-one. She's also taking a break from the Nail.
Mysterio and Lady Beetle arrive, as a couple. They're both taking a break from the Sinister Six.
Iceman and Kitty Pryde both arrive, as a couple. They're both taking a break from the X-Men.
Clint Barton arrives, with a plus-one (not Mockingbird). His protégé, Kate Bishop, comes along behind him with her own plus-one.
Karen Page shows up, with a plus-one (not Daredevil, and not Punisher). It's John Pilgrim/Mennonite.
Hood arrives, levitating in via his hooded cloak. His plus-one is Amora the Enchantress...who levitates via her own magic behind him.
Hobgoblin arrives on an unarmed glider, with a plus-one clinging to him. He's taking a break from the Hand...although the Sinister Six is recruiting him.
Grey Gargoyle arrives, with a plus-one. He's taking a break from the Masters of Evil.
Ava Starr/Ghost arrives, with a plus-one (not Bill Foster). She phases through a wall, and frightens everyone on the other side...while her plus-one more civilly takes the front door, and shows the guards both the wedding invites.
Freyja shows up from Vanaheim, with a plus-one. She just can't wait to compare herself to the bride...
Emma Frost shows up, with a plus-one. She meets Palomina Brockelhurst in the wedding hall. They stop, and survey one another. They seem to inspire each other a lot... All around them, a lot of onlooking men seem to think so, too...
Next, Deacon Frost, the vampire, shows up. He meets Duchess Viala in the wedding hall. The two exchange words...both thankful that Makoto doesn't know the wedding's happening.
Misty Knight and Colleen Wing both show up, with plus-ones. They're the Daughters of the Dragon, bitches.
Darkstar shows up, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Winter Guard.
Dagger shows up, with a plus-one (not Cloak). She's taking a break from New Orleans...and fighting Roxxon Corporation's worst.
Princess Crystal of Attilan shows up, with a plus-one (neither Human Torch nor Quicksilver...although she did ask Quicksilver). Lockjaw teleports away, just as he's delivered Crystal and her man.
Crimson Cowl arrives with her plus-one, riding her Cowl like a flying carpet. With that said, it's a good thing this wedding isn't being hosted in Britain.
The Crane Mother arrives, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the throne of K'un-Zi...as unlikely as that sounds.
Clea arrives with a plus-one (not Dr. Strange), teleporting via a portal from her own reality in the Marvel multiverse. Now here, she starts bonding with Morgan le Fey, Freyja, and Crane Mother.
Bucky Barnes arrives, with a plus-one. He keeps his metal arm in a sling, whenever he can help it.
Blink opens a portal, and arrives via it. Thunderbird, a fellow mutant, is her plus-one.
Blackout arrives, with a plus-one. Everyone keeps reminding him not to accidentally turn off all the lights in the castle.
Betty Brant arrives, with a plus-one (not Ned Leeds).
Bakuto arrives, with a plus-one. He's taking a break from the Hand.
Aqueduct arrives, with a plus-one. She's taking a break from the Masters of Evil.
Alisha Whitley, an Inhuman, arrives, escorting her plus-one with several replicas of herself. Once at the front door, she merges back with her main self, and shows the guards the invites.
The Selwyns seem a bit paranoid, that so many Muggles have been invited to the wedding. Thankfully, though, most of them change their minds when Groot and Man-Thing start beautifying the castle with their respective talents. White Tiger's welcome in their castle, too, once they see how he gets on with Übermensch.
At long last, a convoy of three cars arrives. They park just outside the castle gate, behind one another.
Blindfolded and wearing sunglasses, Black Widow, Vision, and Scarlet Witch all stumble out, and fumble their ways to the back doors of their respective vehicles. They open these doors, and fetch their..."seeing eye dogs."
Each one has two. Black Widow's two seeing eye dogs are Wolfsbane and Falcon in their werewolf forms; Falcon's wearing his wolf-fitted winged harness...despite Natasha's protests. Scarlet Witch's brace of dogs are Feral, a militaristic mutant and a loan from the X-Force, and her very own War Machine. War Machine wears his wolf's barding...as much as Una initially begged him not to. And lastly, Vision's two dogs are Vivisector and Nomad; Nomad wears his shield sling on his back, as much as Helen would rather he didn't.
As blind as Mole Men, the three Avenger women tag along, as the six wolves haul them through the front gate, and towards the façade. At the front door, the guards struggle to keep from laughing at the wedding's...latest imports.
Helen gets to the front door first, and does her best to explain their "situation." In suspense, Una and Natasha listen in.
"We're not here for the wedding, technically," Helen tells them. "I mean, we ARE, but..."
"We can't let you in without an invitation."
"I respect that. It's just that... We're your masters' security detail. A dragon broke free from the colony last night, and we've been sent by the Ministry to offer the wedding protection from it."
The guard raises his brows. "Is there some reason the Ministry didn't warn us about this escaped dragon in advance?"
Helen shrugs. "You're a pureblood wizarding family. You guys tend to be so haughty, that the Ministry tends to treat you as if you're omniscient, and hence don't NEED to be warned of such things in order to know about them." She looks around, and slightly covers her mouth with her hand. "You didn't," she whispers, "hear that from me, though."
The guard arches his brows...and scoffs. "Sad. I had no idea the Ministry even did that. I'll have to talk to the Selwyns about it... Anyway, go right in. Do what you came here to do. Just...try not to scare away any of the guests."
To herself, Natasha scoffs. "Fat chance," she murmurs.
"Just one more thing," the guard stops them, one last time. "If your blind, how the hell did you get into the security business?"
Helen scoffs. "Try asking the Devil of Hell's Kitchen the same thing. He might not be as merciful as we're about to be... But we just might let it slide, if you just let us go in there and do our jobs."
Behind Helen, the other two Avenger girls snicker.
The guard arches his brows. "Sorry I suggested such a thing. Now that you mention it, there was an invited guest who came through here not too long ago, who was also blind, who said something about knowing bōjutsu... Seems unlikely, but... Anyway, sorry for the trouble. Come on in, and do what you've come to do."
Stumbling all the way, the six wolves haul their so-called "legally blind" masters into the Chateau Selwyn. Inside, they're both laughed at and dreaded by most, if not all, the guests.