As Steve entered Tim's home, his view made his blood boil instantly. The pain he had from the beating went away as he felt the fire in his eyes. He tried to ignore the fact that Gracie had visited Soda at the DX, and he tried to ignore the fact that Soda didn't tell him about it, but now it was hard to ignore the picture in front of him. He had no idea Soda had shown up at Tim's house. There he was though, sitting on the couch next to Gracie. They were having a conversation, but Gracie was getting pretty close to Soda. Or maybe it was the other way around and Soda was getting closer to Gracie. Steve wasn't sure, and he surely didn't care. All he thought about was why Soda went over to Tim's, and it appeared to be because Gracie was there.
"What is going on here?" Steve asked as he shook himself out of Tim's arms. He began taking a few steps forward, an extra boost of adrenaline making him forget about the beating he had just endured.
Soda stood up from the couch and walked towards Steve, "I should be asking the same thing."
"You came here to spend time with Gracie? Are you serious?"
"No I didn't. I came looking for you."
"How did you now I'd be here?" Steve asked taking a glance at Gracie. She just looked off in the distance, avoiding eye contact. Steve didn't think Gracie reappearing would bring old feelings back, but she was and those feelings were coming back pretty easily. Unfortunately, it was the old feelings of Gracie wanting Soda over him. Except this time it didn't seem Soda was denying Gracie.
"I didn't see your car at your place, so this seemed like the next place you'd be so late at night. I had a feeling you'd come back and do something stupid," Soda answered.
"We just went out into town," Steve argued.
"Don't lie to me," Soda pointed a finger at Steve, "You're beaten up. You went to Yale and I know it." Soda brushed past Steve in a huff and opened the front door. "See? That's a pretty nice car Tim suddenly has here."
Steve marched past Soda and went outside in frustration, "You don't know what you're talking about Soda."
"God damnit Steve!" Soda followed Steve outside, "You could have been killed! You could go to jail. You just don't listen. You don't care about anyone else, but your damn self!"
"Back off Soda," Steve turned and faced his best friend, "Like you're some fucking saint? You come to look for me, but you find Gracie so you stop looking and spend time with her instead. You didn't worry that much about me if you stayed here with her."
"That's not what happened at all!" Soda yelled, "Don't try to turn this around like I did something wrong! You did something wrong. You broke a promise to me and to Pony and to Darry. This is going to hurt Ponyboy, again! He's going to be upset. He's going to be mad at you. Don't you care what you're going to do to him?" Steve didn't answer. The whole night he had been trying his hardest to not think about Pony. He had the plan to get this done and over with and move on with his life. Soda never had to know. Ponyboy never had to know. The entire situation would have been forgotten.
"He doesn't have to know about tonight if you keep your trap shut," Steve said with a low voice.
Soda shook his head, "I have to tell him. He already saw your car wasn't home, because he needed to see you. He is already suspecting this shit. I can't lie to him Steve. I'm telling him."
"Yeah, because you want him to hate me. You could lie if you wanted to. But you don't want to waste this opportunity. You are looking forward to telling him, because you just want us to go back the way we were, huh? You want us to go back to ignoring each other. You want me and him to go back to just tolerating each other. You hate the relationship I have with your brother. You can't stand that he grabs to me for help now," Steve said.
"Steve, don't say anything you'll regret," Soda warned.
"You were just waiting for me to mess up. Now you can't wait to go tell him, so he'll depend on you again," Steve snarled, "You couldn't handle him getting further and further away from you!"
"Shut up! Whatever happens between you and him, you did it to yourself."
"You set me up!"
"You made this choice!" Soda snapped. Steve turned away in a huff, taking steps away. "Don't turn away Steve, you still have to deal with me too. I think you owe me an apology for going to Yale tonight!"
"Fuck off Soda."
Soda felt his patience end, "You know what? I was wrong. It's not Pony you have to worry about so much." Soda began walking, following Steve. "You hurt me by letting Pony get stabbed, you got Pony hurt when he got stabbed, you hurt Darry by breaking his trust, you hurt me a second time by going back to Yale, and you're about to hurt Pony again for going back to Yale. I have a lot of anger built up in me because of you!" Soda quickened his pace, passing Steve and turning around to face him. "So it's me you have to worry about now!" With that, Soda brought his fist back and threw it forward to Steve's face. Steve stumbled a couple steps back, shocked at what Soda just did.
A sly smile crossed Steve's lips, ready to accept whatever Soda was going to throw at him, "You've wanted to do that for awhile."
"You have no idea," Soda muttered.
"Yeah well I got plenty to get out too," Steve walked up and shoved Soda, "Like you giving me shit about my relationship with Ponyboy. It's all just some pity jealousy." Steve gave Soda a second shove. He was ready to let out some tension.
"No it wasn't," Soda shoved Steve in return, "I was worried about him, because I know you even better than you do. I was worried you'd hurt him again."
Steve was done using words with Soda. He took a fist and connected with Soda's cheek. "You'd do anything to make me look bad to him."
Soda went for Steve again, but Steve grabbed his fists and pushed back, causing Soda to fall to the ground. Jumping down, Steve tackled Soda and punched him on the other cheek. Soda reached up and grabbed Steve's hair, giving it a tug. Next thing they knew, they were wrestling all around in the grass and driveway. They tossed each other around, shoved each other, fighting for the upper hand. Before it got too ugly, someone pulled Steve off of Soda and shoved him to the side. It was Tim. He stood in between the two as Soda got up from the ground.
"Okay you two that's enough," Tim said with his hands out towards them, "You got your hits out, now be done with it."
"I should be just as pissed off at you!" Soda yelled, "How could you get Steve involved in something so stupid!"
"Oh lay off Soda. It's done and over with. Now both of you go on home. I don't need the fuzz called over a fight. I got work to do, now go on! Go!" Tim barked.
Steve walked past the two and got in his car. Soda watched as he started the engine and drove off without a word. He took one last look at Tim Sheppard with disgust, and began walking home.
Soda needed the walk home. He needed to blow off steam. There wasn't remorse though. Soda felt that Steve needed a harsh hit or two to realize how stupid and selfish he was being. He knew Steve wouldn't realize it right away, he'd be angry for the next few days, but Soda was the only one who would let Steve know the truth even if it was the hard way. Unfortunately, Gracie being at Tim's didn't help either. It looked back to Steve, but nothing was going on. Soda didn't care for anything to go on. He didn't care for Gracie to be involved.
Soda walked into his house, not at all surprised Ponyboy was up and waiting for him. Before Pony could ask anything, his mouth dropped open at Soda's discolored face.
"Things didn't go well," Soda simply said. Pony followed Soda as he walked into the kitchen and began washing his face in the sink.
"What happened? Who did that?" Pony asked.
"Me and Steve got into it," Soda said as he turned the sink off. Grabbing a towel, he gently pressed against his face to dry it. He felt the sensitivity from the hits. "Does it look bad enough for Darry to ask?"
"Well yeah of course," Pony responded, "He got you good. Why did this happen? He didn't..." Soda looked at Pony as he asked his question, concern growing on his little brother's face. "He didn't go to Yale...did he?"
Steve parked in his driveway. He sloppily walked inside his house and went straight to his bedroom. He thought he'd be physically exhausted enough to go straight to sleep, but he was still pissed. The idea of Soda going home and telling Pony everything was making Steve's blood boil. He knew Pony would be hurt. He knew Pony would be mad. Steve wasn't sure if he'd even get a chance to explain his side to Ponyboy. If Soda had his way, Steve was out of Pony's mind and wouldn't need him anymore. The idea of all that gave Steve the need to do something, do anything. He couldn't just sit there and drown in his thoughts. Steve pulled out his blade, brought his arm back, and threw it towards his bedroom door.
"Yes Pony, he did go to Yale again," Soda quietly said.
Pony's mouth hung open as he turned away, "I didn't think he'd actually do it. When we didn't see him at home, I didn't think that's where he actually went. I just didn't want to believe it."
"I know buddy," Soda pulled Pony into a hug, "I'm not happy with him right now. Not at all. He's getting himself in some serious trouble."
Ponyboy didn't want to hear anymore. He was feeling too many emotions. He felt mad at Steve for going to Yale. He felt mad at Soda for getting in a fight with Steve. He felt mad at everyone.
Pony hurried out of the kitchen, through the living room, and out the front door. He didn't run far, he just needed to get out of view of the house. Quickly, Pony turned his head back and forth to make sure no one was near. He simply sat down on the side of the street, and flipped out his blade.
Staring at the knife that stuck to his door, Steve felt his heart begin to race. I need my mind to stop. He took steps closer to the door until he was just inches from the blade, the handle pointing right between his eyes. I can't keep thinking about this. Slowly, his hand lifted up and gripped the handle. I need it to stop. He gave it a tight squeeze, and pulled it out of the door. I need it all to stop. Steve just stared at it with a cold, hard stare. Stop.
"Fuck this," Steve muttered, bringing the blade over to his bed.
Exposing his arm, Pony pressed the blade against his skin. He had no patience or fear anymore. He pushed down as hard as he could. "Ahhh," Pony groaned as the sharp edge penetrated the skin, "Shit! Damn." Pony continued to heavily breathe as he dragged the blade across his arm. When it got to be too much, he released the blade and looked down at his arm. He watched as the blood escaped the wound and ran down his skin.
"Shit," Pony whispered. He winced at the pain, but felt an extreme satisfaction from the feeling and the view.
Sitting on his bed, Steve shoved his blade into his arm. Quick as lightning, Steve dragged it across his arm and removed the blade. "Fuck!" Steve yelled, but then he froze, "Wait...what did I..." He looked between his bleeding arm and the blade.
"God damnit!" Steve yelled, throwing the blade as hard as he could, letting it slam against the wall and falling to the floor. Standing up, Steve gripped his hair in frustration. He began pacing the floor, feeling a warm liquid run down his arm and drip onto his face. "No!" Bringing his arm down to his view, he stared at the fresh cut. He didn't believe he had actually done it, but there was the evidence. "No! Shit!"