Hey, everyone, thanks for your comments I loved reading all of them, and I'm sorry for how you're feeling about Lindsey now.

And thanks for clearing things up about M and T ratings, that's what I thought too, just wanted to get other opinions, and actually, I asked or another story I'm thinking about writing after this one.

And about Fare Thee Well, I'm so sorry I know I'm late, but I'm currently working on the next chapter, so, hopefully it will be up soon :)

Also, sorry if you feel I'm taking too long to update, honestly, I wanted to update this chapter specifically earlier, but I don't want to be too much, twice a week is pretty good, right?

So, anyway, this is a JC Stewart song, happy reading.

18. Lying that you love me

He fell into the same old routine from around two months earlier of barely being home and mainly being at Lindsey's. And it was comfortable, familiar, maybe he kept needing to remind himself that he's doing the right thing, but the thing is… he actually is doing the right thing.

He didn't speak with Peyton since that day at his office unless really having to at work, and maybe that's the reason why he's able to continue and stick to his decision, the more he keeps his distance, the more he is not tempted to break his decision and give in.

And he was honestly reminded that he liked Lindsey for a reason; she's funny, understanding and she's ready to have a future with him… he just doesn't know why he wanted to end it with her in the first place, and sometimes he still does; well, not end it, no he's not going to do that, but, sometimes he catches himself wondering if she was never pregnant or if she never told him, or even if he never kissed Peyton back in New York. However, once he starts wondering, he stops himself right away, because all the 'what ifs' brings him nothing but confusion.

So, now, he goes to work then to Lindsey's until late at night or occasionally stay the night, making sure he encounters the least with Peyton, and he was pretty sure she fell into the same routine too, but before, she used to go to Jake's, now, he doesn't know where she goes to, just like he never found out where she was that night she left him an itching bundle of nerves which eventually led to finding out that he has feelings for her.

Peyton, on the other hand, was angry; or she used to be, she knew how to control it, or at least working on it, but, yeah, she hated him for his behavior, he had no right to dump anything on her when he was the one responsible for a decision making, which was fair, he's the one who was stuck between two women, and he made a choice, she respected it, then he hated that she did!

Asshole!

Seriously though, she was grateful, because he made it so much easier to forget the whole thing, or at least be able to.

She was over at Brooke's on a Tuesday night because she hated staying at Lucas' home at the moment,

"So, what's going on?" Brooke asked her when they settled with two cups of hot herbal tea on her couch.

Peyton shrugged, "Nothing."

"No, seriously, Peyton, why have you been blessing me with more frequent visits over the past week?"

Peyton raised an eyebrow, "Do you want me to go?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean, stop bullshitting."

She sighed, "Nothing, Brooke, I just don't wanna stay at… over there."

"Is it that bad?"

Peyton shook her head, "No, actually there's no it. There's nothing."

"Peyton, what happened? You were all over-"

"Look," she cut her off, "This was stupid, just driven by the moment, I mean, I had just come out of a failed relationship, he was surprisingly nice, and I made an effort to know him better, so, yeah, it was all for the wrong reasons, and what comes fast goes just as fast."

"So, you're saying you don't like Lucas anymore?"

Peyton cringed, "It was stupid!" she shook her head, "We… we're too different, it should have never gone beyond glaring and irritating one another."

Brooke gave her a smile, "Okay, but that wasn't an answer."

She rolled her eyes, "No, Brooke, I don't, we're back at hating each other, maybe even more if it's possible."

She sighed, "I still think there's more that would happen."

"Well, there isn't. God, why are you pushing this?"

Brooke frowned, "I'm not pushing anything, in fact, I tried pushing it, Haley tried, but you kept moving forward on your own, and this says something… besides, putting all jokes aside, Peyton, I have always thought that you two have some sort of chemistry… you always went ahead and blew it with some of your witty comments, but it was always there."

"There's nothing of this sort, Brooke." Peyton snapped knowing deep down that she's lying, or well, she didn't think it was always there, but at least she felt it at some point, however, she didn't need to hear those words right now.

"Alright, fine!" Brooke held a hand defensively, "If that's what you wanna believe."

"It is what I know is true."

"Fine, Peyton, jeez."

Peyton sighed, "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"Hey, it's nothing. You know I love you, right?"

She looked up and smiled at her best friend gratefully; she knew that she understands, "I love you too, B. Davis."

"Good, now, I'm hungry, do you want some crackers?" she asked getting up to head towards her kitchen.

Peyton chuckled, "No, I'm fine."

"Hey, Peyton," Brooke said as she was coming back, "you forgot your phone on my kitchen table… and apparently Jake is calling you." She said with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh,"

"Oh? What else am I missing, P. Sawyer?"

She gave her a look and smiled, "It's nothing, Brooke."

"This is nothing too? Hmm."

"No, really, he called I didn't answer, he came to see me, and he just apologized and said I was right… I don't know what he wants now, but we're cool."

"Peyton Sawyer, are you jumping between two men?"

"What? Brooke! Of course, I'm not."

"I mean, no offense, but, you broke up with Jake then you liked Lucas and then hated him claiming he was a rebound, now, you're talking to Jake again, so is he going to be your rebound's rebound?" she smirked and Peyton hit her with the cushion.

"There's nothing between me and Jake!"

"You say there's nothing between you and Lucas too, and weirdly enough one of them is your long-time best friend turned boyfriend and then recently ex-boyfriend and the other is your husband whom you hated then liked and kissed then hated again, I'm sorry, but there cannot be nothing between you and either of those."

"Oh, God."

"What?"

"He doesn't wanna be with me, Brooke!"

"What? You're the one who broke up with him, and you obviously didn't really love him, how-"

"Lucas!"

"Huh?"

"Lucas doesn't want to be with me, okay?"

"Oh…"

"No… no 'oh', it's nothing." She pressed uneasily, "I'm just telling you that there's nothing, Brooke."

"Okay," Things made sense to Brooke now, she now understood that Peyton was activating her defense mechanism, well, she doesn't know what happened exactly, but, she knew Peyton wasn't talking about it because she didn't want to feel vulnerable about it, she needs to get over it first to talk.

And that's how Brooke knew it obviously meant to Peyton more than she was letting on.

XxXx

Lucas rang Lindsey's doorbell thinking that it's about time to ask for a key, after all, this is getting pretty much permanent, right? It took her a while longer than usual to open the door, and when she did he knew why,

"Luke, hey." She greeted enthusiastically and his eyes immediately drifted to the bottle in her hand.

"Are you drunk?"

"No, silly, I don't get drunk." She laughed walking back into the apartment as he followed closing the door with a frown.

"Lindsey, Seriously? Give me that." He reached for the bottle but she moved away and giggled.

"No. You're not taking it."

"What are you doing? We talked about this."

"And I told you a few sips won't hurt."

"A few- You're fucking drunk!" He exclaimed, "I thought you want this baby."

She looked at him and rolled her eyes, "I do. Just as much as you do." She said and he frowned.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what it meant, Lucas. Now, why are you making a fuss over nothing?"

"Over nothing? You're not supposed to be drinking let alone get drunk, and it's not the first time. What the hell is going on?"

"I have problems at work, okay? I might lose my job. Thank you for reminding me."

"And your solution is to drink?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, I don't know…talk about it? To me maybe?"

"Since when do we talk this deep?" she chuckled.

"Really? I talk about my work and my problems all the time, and you… actually, yes, you never talk about something of your own."

"You talk because I ask, Lucas."

"And when I ask, you want to have sex!"

"Oh, have sex? Is that what you call it now? It's no longer making love? How shocking!" she said mockingly.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't talk, Lucas, okay? It's just who I am, who I have been, and probably who I will always be."

"This will not work like that, Lindsey, and I told you this before, I came to you, said we need to talk more, to communicate more, and you looked at me like you're seeing an alien."

She huffed, "What do you want me to say, Lucas? Fine, well, there are some wrongful accusations at work, and I'm one of the engulfed parties, and I can't prove my innocence, so, yeah, I might get fired, and I can't afford to lose my job right now."

"See? You should have told me that." He sighed. "We're having a baby, Linds, it's about time you let me help you."

"How?"

"Well, talking is one thing, but, I also have the money."

"No, you don't, not yet."

"Not yet? I do have what it takes to help you, unless your money issue is that you can't buy a mansion at the moment, then, no, I probably can't."

"Lucas…"

"What?"

"Dammit, I can't keep living like that! I just want to get out of this hell hole."

"What are you talking about?"

"This. This shitty apartment with the size of a matchbox. It's suffocating me, Lucas, I hate it and I need to get out of it."

"I never knew this is how you feel."

"Now you do!" she snapped and sighed.

"So, is this what's about? You just want a bigger place?"

"A bigger place, a car, cocktail parties, I work and bust my ass off at work in exchange for pennies, and now they wanna fire me too?"

"Lindsey, you're my girlfriend and you're pregnant with my child, I think your problems can be considered mine too now… let me help you."

"You can't now, Lucas."

"I can afford a bigger place."

"You're married." She said and took a gulp of her bottle to his distaste.

"No one will know."

She chuckled, "You just don't get it."

"Then help me get it."

"Look, Luke," she looked at him, "Just let it be, I won't be drinking tomorrow, okay?" she said taking another gulp.

He frowned, "You don't want to talk to me, and you insist on drinking, at least drop the bottle for a damn second and try me."

"You'll never understand."

"How do you know that?"

"God, Lucas, just let it go."

"No, I won't, because you're not just hurting yourself right now, you're hurting my unborn child too." He said and she didn't reply and instead took another large gulp of her bottle heading towards the couch. "Okay, that's enough." He said and reached out for the bottle again and she noticed and tried to get away from him only to stumble due to the imbalance and dizziness and fall hitting her head to the table,

"Oh God, are you okay?" Lucas kneeled down to help her up with wide eyes.

She moaned in pain slowly sitting up as she put her hand at the back of her head only for it to come back in view with blood.

"God, you're bleeding. Shit, your nose is bleeding too." He said and put a hand on her back to support her up, "We're going to the hospital."

"I'm fine." She said weakly.

"No, you're absolutely not." He said and looked at the cut in the back of her head to see it wasn't that big but it was still bleeding, he grabbed the nearest piece of cloth that was sitting on her couch to apply pressure on the cut.

He then led her all the way towards his car while she was even dizzier than before and he was basically carrying her with his head spinning and his heart racing.

He drove all the way to the hospital only hearing her moans of pain and his own heartbeats as he kept mumbling he's sorry or that it's going to be fine.

His thoughts only began to take a regular organized shape when he was in the waiting room while she was taken to be examined; he knew he wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to her or to the baby, but, he was also still mad, he wasn't able to understand what was happening, why wasn't she letting him in? Why doesn't she seem into it like she should? Why was there something off about their relationship?

Why does it always seem that he is working on this relationship more? He –like always- let it go at first, he thought that it'd get better with time, and it was, yet, there was still that bit always knew they aren't at the same place, maybe that's why he let himself lean towards Peyton in the first place? Maybe he and Peyton were in the same place? There's no way he can know that for sure now, but, he knows for a fact that wherever he was, was just a beginning of the road to explore more and more. But, that's just not possible now of course.

His thoughts were interrupted when he saw a nurse walking over and he stood up while she gave him a smile, "She's okay, all her vitals are fine, there's no concussion, she just needed a few stitches and to rest and sober up." she told him seeing the worry all over his face.

"So, she's fine."

"Yeah, in fact she's ready to go."

"And the baby?" he asked eagerly and the woman gave a confused look.

"What baby?"

What does she mean what baby? What happened?

"She's pregnant!" he said his heart beating faster; was there a problem? Did she lose the baby?

The older woman scanned the sheet in her hand with her eyes before looking up at him understanding the situation as she gave him a sympathetic look, "No, she's not, sir."

Or she was never pregnant in the first place!

To say his head was spinning would not be enough to describe what he was feeling; he didn't understand what she was saying, he just remembered when Nathan asked if he was sure she was, and he was, because, why would she not be? This is what she said and this is not something someone would lie about.

"She should be out any minute." The older woman informed him before leaving him alone to his thoughts petrified in his place.

She lost the baby, hasn't she? That's the only logical and acceptable explanation of what is happening.

He saw her coming out of the room and giving him the smallest of the shy smiles ever, and he just wanted to explode at this moment and ask her right away; because as he recalls too, she never told him when her appointment was or her doctor's name… and she was drinking for God's sake. But that can't be it. It just can't.

She lied. All the fingers point there. She fucking lied.

However, he contained himself; after all, he's not a fan of making a scene in public, no matter how much will it take from him to not just blurt it out, because, with every passing second, he felt that his heart sank even more and his head became dizzier.

"You okay?" he asked with a straight poker face and a hoarse voice.

Her smile vanished thinking he was still mad at her as she nodded.

"Let's go." He said turning around and leading the way out of the hospital suddenly feeling that the corridors were miles long.

He finally made it back to his car and she got in next to him, and he started the engine speeding out of the parking lot, he wasn't even hiding his anger, or the way he was feeling in the moment, and for some reason, he was terrified of asking her what he was dying to ask; he was scared of the answer, and she obviously knew something was wrong,

"Lucas,"

"Shut up." he said through gritted teeth and she frowned.

"Okay, I know you're mad because I was drinking and because of the way I acted, but you have to-"

He couldn't take it anymore as he pulled over to the side of the road stopping the car and turning to face her as she looked at him with a mixture of worry and confusion.

"How's the baby, Lindsey?" he asked her and she gave a frown.

"I… everything is fine."

"I didn't ask about everything, I specifically asked about the baby, our baby."

"Lucas, what's wrong? Why are you talking like this?"

"There's nothing wrong, why aren't you just answering the question? In fact, why don't you answer any question, Lindsey?"

"What do you mean? I do, Luke. Look, I know you're mad…" she said reaching over to put a hand on his cheek but he pushed her away and she frowned, "What the hell is wrong with you Lucas?"

"I just want you to answer the goddamn question, Lindsey, how is the baby? Oh, and how far are you exactly, is it six or eight weeks? When was your appointment again? Have you heard heartbeats yet? What's the name of your doctor? How the hell are you getting drunk while pregnant? I guess the most important question of all is, are you pregnant?"

"Lucas, what are you saying?" she whispered out with wide eyes and a pale face.

"You damn heard what I'm saying!" He glared already seeing the answer hiding in her eyes, "Because the nurse that came out of your room doesn't think you are." He said and she squeezed her eyes shut in realization and the color drained from his own face knowing that it was all true now,

"I…I'm sorry, I… I didn't know she would say anything, I spoke to the other nurse and-"

"Spoke to her? Why? To lie to me?" he scoffed in disbelief, "Are you even hearing yourself now? That's your explanation? You're sorry you got caught, not because you fucking lied about being pregnant in the first place." He was furious and Lindsey never saw him like that, not even when he was bashing about the fact that he had to pretend to be in a relationship with Peyton, he was just pissed then… but not that angry. Never that angry.

"Lucas, you don't understand…"

"Are you for real right now?" he scoffed, "Is this really how you reply to everything? I don't understand… then what the hell do I understand, Lindsey? Why the hell did you lie?"

Then she started crying, "Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I didn't notice you drifting away from me and towards her?" she sobbed, "Don't you think I saw that, Lucas? I didn't wanna lose you!"

He stared at her for a while, "So, you decided to pretend you're pregnant. That's one hell of a way to keep me around, really. So, what was your long-term plan? Were you gonna use fake bellies and dodge me around every time you were supposed to go to the doctor? For nine freaking months?"

"I didn't say it was a good plan, okay? I guess, I just needed a chance to spend more time with you and… and remind you of our relationship, Lucas, I love you." She said through her tears.

For the first time, his heart didn't flatter at hearing those words from her, they only said it like after a couple of months into their relationship and they didn't say it as much after, but whenever she did, it brought a big smile to his face, however, not this time,

"Do you even understand what is going on here? Lindsey, you lied to me, you led me to believe that I'm going to have a baby! And then what? Huh? You were going to say you miscarried? You were gonna give me that and take it away that easily? Let me go through this kind of pain? And for what? For some more goddamned time together?"

"For keeping you with me." She screamed, "I don't know what that witch did, or how she did it, but I know that you were so infatuated by her, Lucas, you wanted to break up with me, didn't you? That's what you were going to say when I told you, isn't it?"

"You can't possibly be trying to justify what you did here!"

She shook her head, "She was trying to take you from me."

"She didn't do anything. If anything happened, then it was because I wanted it to, and it's funny that you should mention that, because as far as I remember, you were never jealous!"

"Are you admitting that you cheated with her, Lucas?"

He looked at her for a minute in silence, well, this was going down pretty fast, his anger was increasing by the second at her lack of apology or compassion. He nodded, "I kissed her yes, I did. But, don't you dare turn this around on me, because, I was always the one trying to make this relationship mean something, I'm the one who was always trying to find the connections, and you on the other hand always made me wonder if you want the same things that I do. Hell, when I told you we should talk more and have sex less you thought there was something wrong with me… and I'm the guy!"

"That's because I knew it was about her."

"Well, it wasn't." he glared, "It wasn't and I was only trying to talk and get to know you more you know like a normal couple who aren't together for some benefit…" and it wasn't until he said it that he thought about it really, it did look like there were benefits…

He frowned looking at her still pale face –despite of trying to fight back, "In fact, why are you with me, Lindsey?"

"What are you talking about, Luke? I love you…"

"Yeah, I'm starting to think that this is bullshit." He retorted back, "If you did, I think you would have wanted exactly what I wanted us to have."

"Really, Lucas? Just because of one mistake I made and you're ready to question everything we had? Are you really that eager to get rid of me?"

"I'm not." He shook his head, "If I were, I wouldn't have believed you like a complete idiot when you said you're pregnant without proof what-so-ever."

"Why wouldn't you? We love each other. You want a family and I-"

"Yeah, that's what you used, right? Knowing that I want a family, you just thought you'd give it to me –or, sorry, let me think you're giving it to me."

"What did you want me to do when I knew I was losing you?" she cried.

"Certainly not come up with such a big fat ugly lie!" he screamed back not caring that his voice was probably audible through the closed windows of his car to the whole neighborhood to hear, "Besides, Lindsey, like I pointed out, you never really tried to have me in the first place, so why fight for me when 'I'm slipping away?'… which brings us back to the question, why the hell are you with me?"

"Lucas, I think you should calm down first and then we can talk, I know what I did was wrong and I'm-"

"We're not going anywhere and this conversation isn't going to be over until I know for sure why you want to be with me…"

"I told you… I love you."

"You see, you're apparently out of lies, and you're not even capable of telling the one you have left properly."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"You do realize that you never even apologized, don't you? Are you even sorry, Lindsey?"

"Of course I am."

"You're sorry you lied and made me go through this or you're sorry you got caught?"

"Lucas, please…"

"Just answer the goddamned questions."

"Why? So you could break up with me?"

"You think that if you didn't tell me the truth I'm staying with you?"

"Oh, I see… you're breaking up with me anyway, just so you could go jump in bed with her."

"Leave her out of this."

"Oh, how cute! I'm your girlfriend, Lucas, and you cheated with her, and you are defending her right here against me just because of one mistake… one mistake I made, Lucas."

"Do you really see it as just one mistake?"

"Yes, I do." She glared back, "And to answer your question, I'm sorry that I used this against you, but, I didn't know what else to do, and if I had to do it again I would!"

"Oh my God, you don't even realize how big of a deal it is, do you?"

He felt like he was having an out of body experience; he didn't know this person in front of him, and he didn't know what he was saying, he was just mad, really mad.

"You're sitting here accusing me of not being there for you the way you wanted? Have you ever thought that maybe the problem is with you? Because I have, Lucas, I was so understanding throughout this whole Whitey thing, and I supported you through every work problem you had just so you can keep going forward and save your company, I have been caring and understanding through it all…"

He took a moment as her words lit up a path in his mind leading to some quick flashbacks of things she said including her drunk self just an hour ago, "It's all been about this, hasn't it?"

"What?"

"Oh my God, I'm such a fool." He gave a humorless chuckle to himself hitting a hand against his forehead, "Congratulations, Lindsey, you're officially the first girl to have me fooled this way."

"What are you saying?" This time her voice was small and he knew he was right.

"That's why you're with me." He looked at her, "The company, the money, Whitey's will… you just said it yourself, you want things that I can't help you with… yet!"

"Lucas, that's-"

"Oh, God, it all makes sense now." He squeezed his eyes shut, memories flashing in his mind s fast letting his head become even dizzier.

"Lucas…"

"What? Are you looking for another lie? Huh?" he shouted with a glare, "Well, you can't! There's nothing you can say to fix this."

"Lucas, just hear me out, you're being crazy-"

"Am I?" he cut her off, "You're sitting right here trying to get me to doubt myself and follow you. You're trying to turn tables on me."

"Luke, you got it all wrong, please."

"Really? Alright, then look me in the eyes right now and tell me it was never about the money."

"Luke… I…"

"Get out of the car."

"What? Lucas…"

"I said get out."

"Please, don't leave me."

"Lindsey, get out of the car right now."

"Fine, Lucas, I'll leave, and you can go and run to her, but one day or the other, you'll know the truth…"

"That you're the biggest mistake I've ever made? Yeah, I got it."

"Lucas, please… okay, okay, I know how it looks, and-"

"Don't you get it? I don't believe any of the shit you're saying, stop trying to make a fool out of me again… and stop those crocodile tears of yours!"

And suddenly, her reaction changed as she pulled on a poker face and held the door open a bit, "Fine, Lucas, but don't you think that it's over!" she said and got out of the car slamming the door shut and he gave her one final glare before speeding away with a half mind and lots of racing thoughts.

What the hell is going on? Who was this? It's like she's someone entirely different from the one he knew; she has been acting this whole time, and he was enough of an idiot to believe it all! How did he fall for this?

God, he thought he's going to be a father and she just took it away from him like that… and she didn't even think it was a big deal! She literally wasn't seeing anything other than the one thing she's after!

But to be honest, he didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed or even mad! After all, it's the most thing he wished for; to be a father to have a family, but yet, he was seriously doubting if he wants to have it all with Lindsey lately, in fact, it was taking effort of him to convince himself that she is the one.

He wasn't thinking straight, and he wasn't feeling anything! His life just turned upside down in the matter of an hour. Again. This was so tiring. How can he go from having things figured out with Peyton, to forcing himself to let go of that in order to do the right thing, and to then actually wrap his head around the idea of being a father only to figure it was a prank after all in such short notice, and that's leaving the journey he had to go through while figuring out his feeling for Peyton in the first place. It's exhausting! How is he even supposed to feel?

This was all a lot to take in, his feelings were tangled and his thoughts were piled up, and he needed a strong drink to help him out through the night.

XxXx

After spending most of the night at Brooke's, Peyton was at Lucas' house again in his guest room, ready for bed, she was actually in bed ready to sleep but all she has been doing is toss and turn.

She actually stayed with Brooke until it was time to sleep, because she didn't want to leave herself alone with her thoughts, and she actually contemplated sneaking back into her father's house to her old room and sleep the night there, but, she voted against it when she thought of the possibility of being caught and showered with questions from her dad.

So, despite dodging her thoughts aside all day long –like every day- she was still unable to do so when she was supposed to be sleeping instead. She thought about what she told Brooke, what she is making herself believe is true about her feelings for Lucas being just some sort of a rebound because of her sudden break-up with Jake.

And she felt angry!

She was angry at him, but mostly she was angry at herself for still not being able to kick him out of her mind.

She was well aware of what she has called and accused him of at their last encounter, and even though he pretty much made it look like that, but she was still not really sure it was true. After all, she knew what she felt and she knew what made her see him in a different light was mainly his sincerity.

And that's what made her even madder; after everything, she wasn't just able to go back to hating him, because no matter what she tends to claim, she has actually seen other parts of him that fascinated her enough for it to be almost impossible to go back to hating him… instead she shouldn't have stopped in the first place.

While she was lying there on the bed trying to invite sleep to take over, she heard his car pulling over with a screech of tires. She sighed to herself checking the time, it was past midnight; so, he's back from Lindsey's then, she wondered why he didn't spend the night, after all, he seemed to tend to do so lately.

She jumped up a few minutes later when she heard a loud crash followed by a curse coming from downstairs. She left her bed curiously rushing down only to see him standing there wearing a dumbfounded look while eyeing the lamp that he obviously knocked down from the small table in the corner.

It didn't take a second look to know he was drunk.

He looked up at her then back at the lamp on the floor as if trying to decide what to do now. She sighed as she moved forward and picked it up putting it in place thankful that it wasn't broken, because that's what would be left; cleaning after his mess!

"Peyton…" he said as if acknowledging her now that the lamp problem was solved.

"You're drunk."

"Just a little." He said with a goofy smile.

"No, as fuck." She shook her head and he gave her a sheepish smile.

He pushed himself forward to walk towards the stairs but he seemed to have lost all sort of balance when he stumbled back but then held on her extended hand to keep from falling.

She groaned to herself knowing she won't just leave him to handle himself on his own like that; she's going to help him, he's never going to remember any of it in the morning anyway.

At least she hopes so.

So, she let him throw his weight on her as he leaned towards her and she started guiding him to his room, which was not an easy task. He wasn't balanced and she was basically carrying all his weight, however, she managed to find the position that would work best with his arm around her shoulder and her body arced a bit to balance his weight and hers and her arm around her waist while holding his other hand.

"What the hell are you doing driving like this, Lucas? Thank God, you came back in one piece!"

"What do you mean?" he slurred.

"Never mind." She rolled her eyes struggling up the stairs with him.

"You hate me, right?"

"Not now, Lucas." She frowned; there was no point answering him even, he was in no shape to hold a conversation, let alone one she doesn't want to ever have.

"Why are you helping me then?" he asked as if hearing a different answer.

"Because if I didn't, you'll most likely break your neck."

They finally reached his room as she guided him towards his bed, "You liked me though, right?"

"Why don't you just stop talking?"

"You did. You giggled." He said as she let him set on the edge of his bed.

"What?"

"You giggled. You liked me." He repeated and she remembered what Brooke told him about her giggling when she likes someone, and well, it was no secret she did like him after Thanksgiving, but, that didn't stop her from cursing Brooke anyway.

She helped him lie on the bed and chose not to answer as she took off his shoes while he had his eyes closed.

He opened them halfway and looked up at her, "Peyton," he called and she moved over to stand by him,

She looked down at him and saw his current state of vulnerability and couldn't help the way her heart reacted as she reached out a hand to put on his forehead pushing back his hair as she combed her fingers through it,

"Why are you so good to me?" he mumbled out hardly keeping his eyes open.

"Sleep, Lucas." She told him with a slight headshake while her fingers kept brushing his hair backward, "You're going to wake up with one hell of a headache." She saw the tiniest attempt of a smile on his lips while his eyes closed, and she knew he was gone.

She sighed to herself and looked at him one more time wondering how in the hell can she be so mad at him and still feel such a strong need to kiss him, take him in her arms and attempt to make him feel better. She let out a sigh and settled for a final brush through his short hair before finding herself leaning down to leave a quick kiss on his cheek barely even touching his skin. She groaned to herself pulling the sheets over his body and then left to get a glass of water and a strong painkiller to place next to him for when he wakes up with the said headache. She then went back to attempting to sleep herself.

But, now, it was admittedly harder than before, because her conversation with Brooke just went down the drains when she faced the first obstacle and couldn't overcome it; she knows that she didn't just take care of him because it was the right thing to do, but, she actually wanted to… in fact, she loved doing it.

Furthermore, she kept wondering what got him this drunk in the first place, and hated herself for getting excited at the things he said and bringing up her liking him wondering if it all has something with his drinking, she didn't like it, but, she couldn't help but think that maybe just maybe Lucas is second-guessing his decision.

The question is, if he was, will she take him now? Can she trust him? Does she want to trust him?

Maybe, probably and definitely yes.

No matter what she said, or what she was trying to make herself believe, she was forced to face the fact that she does still have feelings for the guy, and they're definitely not the rebound kind.

The truth was that Lucas spent his night mourning his failure with drinking; he felt shame and disgrace, after all, Lindsey played him very well, he actually thought about her so highly at some point, maybe he caught other stronger feelings, but still, he was feeling bad as it is for having strong feelings for Peyton when Lindsey was supposedly so perfect, and then it turned out Lindsey has been using him all along.

It was so hard to wrap his head around.

He remembered Haley telling him that he tends to waste a lot of time until he figures out that he and the girl he's with have nothing in common, or at least not enough, but, Lindsey led him to believe he might have found the one, apparently, she knew exactly what he needs and gave it to him, and apparently, he was the biggest sucker ever.

He also couldn't help but let his mind drift to the Peyton situation; he was about to let go of Lindsey to explore whatever he could have with her, and she was waiting for him to do so, he knew it, she knew it and Lindsey knew it too so she had to interfere, and as a result, he led Peyton to believe he's not into her, and he also went on picking a fight with her driving her away even further.

He couldn't help his heart aching as he wondered if that's it, or if he can somehow fix it. But, then again, how can he when he's feeling like shit?

All in all, that night Lucas was feeling like a complete loser, and so, he kept drinking until he wasn't seeing straight, and the rest was blurred.

That's why he was surprised when he woke up the next day in his bed with one hell of a hangover, and he was even more surprised to spot the glass of water and the painkiller next to it.

That only meant that Peyton had it in her to help him; this made his heart sink, he didn't know if he should get his hopes up, or if he should just think of it as a nice gesture. But, he was indeed grateful.

Yet, there was still that lingering feeling of being a loser; he was the fool that ruined everything because he was too blinded to not see straight through the lies.

Seriously, how can he trust his feelings anymore? How can he confidently say now that he has feelings for someone? Or that someone has feelings for him?

How can he be sure if what he thinks he has with Peyton is real?

The answer simply is that he can't.

He took the painkillers and it was only then that he got to notice the time and he found out that he was already absent from work, which means Peyton let him sleep the day in, just like he did for her before when she broke up with Jake, but ironically enough, she doesn't even know it's the exact same situation.

His heart felt heavier at the thought and he didn't know what to think anymore, but, since he was already taking the day off, and since he's too tired to think about anything let alone do any work or go anywhere, he decided to go back to sleep.

It looks like he'd be stuck in this circle for a while, because he for the life of him can't see the way out.

A/N: Hello, again, I just wanted to leave an extra note here because I didn't want to give it away at the beginning: sooooo... she's gone, or is she? do you think that's it for her?

And where do you think Lucas will go from there?

Let me know what you think :)