The farmer wasn't quite sure why this strange flower monster wanted to rent his goats for the day. They were just goats. They weren't trained to do yoga or pose for pictures. They would eat anything and everything in sight, but hey! Who was he to turn down this much money for something so simple? If he did he'd be a fool.

It wasn't until much, much later, when he saw the column in the next day's paper just above the fold, that he had a clue. He wasn't sure whether to be horrified or to double over in laughter. Laughter won. The article read:

WILD GOAT HERD RAMPAGES IN HILLSBURY HILLS Gardens were decimated today in the well-to-do neighborhood of Hillsbury Hills when a seemingly wild herd of Boer goats descended. The herd, at least 30 strong, mowed through grass, flowers, shrubbery, and other vegetation alike. Affected residents estimate that the goats did over $250,000 worth of damage in the space of a few hours. Police were called on the miscreants as soon as a local servant noticed the goats. By the time the officers in blue responded, though, the goats had vanished from the scene. They left devastation and a large amount of pellets in their wake. No clues as to their origins have been reported. However, the property managers have posted a $250 reward for information that leads to the arrest of the perpetrators. Information is to be reported to the city police. They can be reached at: (111)111-1111.

The farmer reflected on a couple of things as he reread the article. The first was regret that he hadn't asked the strange flower's name. The second was the likelihood, even if he did know that information, that the police would believe him. Then he wondered why, if the property managers were the ones who had posted the reward, the police were the ones who were collecting information. Wouldn't that invalidate any ability to claim the prize? From there he reflected on the word 'posted'. Nowhere did it say that the reward would actually be paid. Finally, he wondered if this strange flower was happy that his revenge had been so complete. Surely that kind of dedication to destruction should be rewarded with a little bit of loyalty? Say, enough loyalty not to snitch? Especially since the flower had returned his goats happy and safe. Yes, the farmer thought to himself, renting out his goats out was definitely worth it for today.

A giant nest (or possibly a fort) of couch cushions, blankets, and pillows had sprung forth in the middle of the living room. At the moment it was mostly empty. Only Papyrus, Sans, and Frisk were in there now. The rest of the crew wasn't far away, though. Everyone except Toriel was on the phone, spreading the news of their little human's burden to all of their guardians, also known as all of monsterkind. Toriel was baking a celebratory butterscotch-cinnamon pie. Today's honesty and revelations deserved it.

In the cuddle pile, Sans had his arms around Frisk, and Papyrus had his arms around both of them. Frisk's hands were free so they could sign. "let me get this straight. you have this power to save and load, and you've never done something silly with it? come on, you can tell us. you have to have done at least one silly thing. i know i would have."

Frisk giggled. [Okay, there was one thing. It was the first time I came through the Underground. I'd just gotten past you and I ran into Doggo. I wanted to pet him, so I LOADed a few times just to pet him more. I kinda did that with all of the Dog Squad, especially with Lesser Dog. If I had a hard time or got scared by someone else in Snowdin I would go back and pet him a bit. That usually helped calm me down.]

Papyrus nodded wisely. "AN EXCELLENT DECISION. I, TOO, HAVE FOUND MYSELF SEEKING COMFORT FROM SIMPLE THINGS. PETTING A DOG IS CERTAINLY ONE OF THEM. I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SPENT QUITE SOME TIME GETTING TO KNOW DOGGO'S NEW SEEING EYE DOG?"

[Yes,] Frisk signed happily, [She's the best! I don't bother her when she's working, but when he's at home he lets me spend time with her. I give her pets and we play with toys and we cuddle. It's great!]

Sans blinked at his brother and Frisk, then smiled cheekily. "you could say she is doggone good, huh kiddo?"

Papyrus groaned. "SANS! THAT ONE WASN'T EVEN GOOD!"

Sans chuckled. "i know, bro. that's why i like it."

Flowey considered the fine selection of knives, swords, and other cutting blades in his collection. They were all razor sharp, which is what he wanted right now. Cutting through fabric required a sharp edge. He considered which length would be best for this task. The swords would be too unwieldy. The daggers all were too thick for what he had planned. That left the knives. There were eight of them. He dismissed the ones with serration. That left four. He would be traveling under the ground for this trip, so he needed a sheath to keep the blade fresh. That left two. He decided on using the double edged one. That way if the first side went dull he could still cut. Plus it had a good heft to it, which he liked.

Once that was settled Flowey turned to his other armaments. In this case they were dye bombs, glitter bombs, and water bombs. Usually he used bombs that were a little more destructive, but he didn't want to destroy anything, he just wanted to ruin them.

With all of that tucked in his inventory Flowey set out for the mansion. It was child's play to sneak in. All of the servants were busy trying to repair the damage from the goats, and the two targets of his campaign were away at some kind of a party. That left the house empty for him to exact his revenge. He started in the upstairs closets. There were easily more than a hundred dresses and suits. He took great pleasure in cutting the fine fabrics into tiny little pieces. He didn't make them even, either. He sliced at odd angles, cut in wonky curves, and generally made it impossible to sew the clothes back together.

Once he was finished with the clothes Flowey moved on to the other linens in the house. He shredded pillows, mattresses, bed clothes, curtains, towels, and rugs alike. When he was done it looked like a rogue confetti machine had been let loose in the house. He smiled wickedly. That was attack number two.

"What are they doing now, Grillby?" Toriel asked quietly. Her hands were covered in flour to prevent the pie crust she was kneading from sticking to her fur. She'd made enough for three pies. She hoped that would be enough for everyone to get their piece as well as enough that anyone who wanted to have seconds could.

Grillby, who was standing in the doorway talking to her while she worked, turned around and peered over his shoulder. "... My boys and Frisk….. are still in the fort. Gerson left….. to go talk to the monsters in the Underground. Asgore is still….. on the phone. Undyne and Alphys have….. finished their phone calls and are now cuddling. I believe they may….. be kissing."

Toriel huffed. "I hope they are not doing so in front of Frisk. They are a child. Such a display of affection is not appropriate for them to view."

Grillby chuckled. "Miss Tori, times have changed. It is no longer….. the fashion for children to be prevented from seeing….. kisses and hugs. It would not surprise me….. if they had already seen them. Perhaps you should ask? In any case….. Undyne and Alphys are allowed to kiss in front of them….. and so are you."

She blushed. Why did he always know how to push her buttons? "I am more than satisfied as I am, am I not?"

"Yes….." Grillby said slowly, "but are your datemates?"

Toriel froze. Were… were Asgore and Sans happy with this? Asgore could be incredibly affectionate. He loved to touch and kiss her. And Sans… Sans needed all of the love they could give him. But she could still hear the voice of Asgore's mother screaming at them for daring to kiss in front of the younger guests at a party. It had hurt. Toriel's parents never screamed at her, even when she had upset them. Toriel wanted to make Asgore's mother happy… but she was dead now, wasn't she? Why was Toriel still trying to please a woman who had died nearly 1,000 years ago?

"I will think about that, Grillby. I will do some research as to what is appropriate. Now, can you go get the filling from the fridge? I'm just about ready to lay this crust out in the tins to be filled."

With the fabrics thoroughly bombed and destroyed by Flowey's hands he turned to his next task. He reached up to the curtain rod nearest him, now denuded of its usual burdens, and pulled it down. The hooks that held it to the wall clattered on the ground; in this case, it was the marble floor of the entrance hallway. Flowey offhandedly knocked them under the furniture with one stray vine. Then he turned to the rod itself.

It was child's play to remove the finials from the end of the rod. They unscrewed quite easily. Flowey hoped (in a very detached way) that that didn't mean that they changed out the ends on a regular basis. He wanted this prank to haunt them for as long as possible.

With the finials off, Flowey pulled out his secret weapon: a whole platter of cocktail shrimp. He popped the lid off and grabbed three of the shrimp. One went in his mouth. The other two went, one each, into the open ends of the curtain rods. There they would rot, slowly and surely, and give off a haunting scent that would not be cleared until the curtain rods were replaced. The servants would, of course, be blamed. But Flowey knew that most of them were there under threat to their family. Losing this job would be freedom for them, so if Frisk ever asked he could truthfully say that they weren't suffering because of his actions. Frisk cared about stuff like that. He had no idea why.

After planting the shrimp Flowey screwed the finials back on the ends of the curtain rod and dropped it carelessly onto the floor. That let him move on to the next curtain rod. And the next. And the next.

"Move your elbow, Papyrus. I swear it feels like you're all bones," Undyne complained. She was currently in a giant cuddle pile. Everyone, from Toriel and Asgore to Frisk and Sans, was in the fort. They could generally be described as a giant heap.

Papyrus obligingly moved his arm, resting it instead on Grillby's knee. This dislodged the Annoying Dog's head. No one had any idea when he had shown up. He just did. Papyrus had sighed and grudgingly allowed the mongrel to stay. "BUT, UNDYNE, I AM MADE OF ALL BONES. I AM, IN FACT, A SKELETON!"

She snorted. "That doesn't mean you have to feel like it. Do that thing where you go all fuzzy! I know you can do it. Sans is already doing it!"

Asgore's voice rumbled into the conversation. "That would, in fact, be my head, Undyne."

"Oh," She said, sounding disappointed.

Sans decided to join in. "that doesn't mean we can't do it. it's just kinda tricky when there are so many people around. it's easier when there's only one or two."

Alphys mumbled, "... Vector matrix of magical signatures…"

"yup," Sans said. His ear was currently pressed up against Alphys' mouth. "that's it exactly. you got any tips to overcome the gradient issue? pap is better at resolving it than me, but he's never been able to explain how he does it."

Alphys blushed. Undyne, whose hand was on her shoulder, squeezed it. "Go ahead, babe. You got this science sh...ip."

The doctor snorted out a laugh. It was more of a hiccup than a snort, but snort made more sense. "O...kay. Well, I don't what what you've, um, tried? But when I had to consolidate the differential between Mettaton's magic and that of the power grid in order to charge his magic I, um, found a vector that's perpendicular to the average of the other two vectors and projected them onto it? That resulting vector, the one that was the difference between the projections, was easier to handle. I just sort of… inversed it? I can't remember what that's called, but-"

"that's genius, alph!" Sans interrupted enthusiastically, "i can just…"

A beat passed. Then Grillby smiled. "You have….. achieved your goal, Sans. You are now….. quite fluffy. Papyrus, do you understand….. what he's done?"

Papyrus shook his head, dislodging Frisk's foot. "I DO NOT, BUT I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO TO BECOME FLUFFY LIKE HE JUST DID. I NEED TO DO THIS! UM… IT DIDN'T WORK. DID IT?"

"Yeah it did! Right on, nerd!" Undyne cheered.

"I must admit," Toriel commented, "that is one skill I have never seen on another skeleton monster. Do you two know where it comes from, by chance?"

It was Grillby who answered. "I am afraid it comes from….. me. I will admit I tried to teach them….. how to show their magic more….. but I taught them as if they were fire elementals. We can control how hot our flames are….. so I assumed their magic would work similarly. This….. was the result."

"Oh!" Toriel said, "That is interesting. I wonder if there are other abilities like that that different monster types have that they don't know about. I wonder how we could learn…"

"when you get your school you might learn. you're going to be teaching all kinds of different monsters and humans, right?" Sans pointed out, "you're bound to discover a hidden ability or two. especially with the humans in the mix. humans have such weird magic, right frisk?"

Frisk, who was on top of the entire pile with a quite relaxed expression on their face, signed, [Humans don't have magic, Sans.]

Asgore chuckled. "My dear child. Humans have always had magic. You cannot live without it. It just manifests differently than monster magic. I believe, for example, that your magic controls these SAVEs and RESETs. Rodger's magic is that of his ability to see ghosts all the time. He's told me about several ghosts in the area that I didn't know about, including one that seems to follow you."

Frisk froze. Everyone else didn't seem to notice. Well, except for Papyrus, who Frisk was laying on. But he didn't press. Maybe he decided that Frisk was allowed to keep some secrets, just like he and Sans were. Everyone should have a secret or two.

"That's very nice! Humans can be very judgmental about that, can they not?" Toriel said.

"They can. I am glad he… felt safe enough with you to share," Grillby said quietly. "Terrance has told me….. that he worries about Rodger. He seems afraid of the teachers at the school you used to attend, Frisk. Perhaps we should try and convince Terrance and Leopold to enroll him at your school, Miss Tori."

"That sounds wonderful! He is a delightful child with wonderful parents. I would be happy to have him as a student," Toriel said, sounding delighted. Everyone in the room knew how much this school meant to her.

"heh. how many more weeks is it until school starts again? i know we're getting close,?" Sans said with a smile.

"The school opens for students in 8 weeks, but the other teachers and myself start work in seven. I have already begun planning my lessons. Frisk has been helping me, have you not, my child?"

Frisk knocked enthusiastically. [Yes. I'm the fun checker! I have to make sure that every lesson includes something fun!]

"WOWIE. THAT IS AN IMPORTANT JOB, BUT ONE THAT I AM CERTAIN YOU WILL DO WELL! JUST LIKE YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT HERO, FRISK. AND AN EXCELLENT FRIEND!"

Everyone nodded their agreement. That was true. Frisk was the kind of person who could (and would) be friends with everyone. Who knew what they would befriend next?

With all the shrimp successfully hidden in the curtain rods Flowey moved on to his last prank. Well, extremely mean hearted payback. That was the same, right? It was to him.

He pulled out the little tube-like trigger thingy. He'd only ever seen it used to dispense guacamole, but he definitely felt like that wasn't the original purpose. It looked kind of like a giant hot glue gun without a cord. He'd bought it at a home improvement store from an old man in a yellow apron. The apron was the same colour as his petals, a fact that the old man couldn't shut up about. Flowey had never heard anyone so chatty in his life.

Lifting himself up to the level of the handle was harder than he thought. It was only a few feet. A few frustrating feet. When he reached the door handle he clung to it, bending the lever down a bit. That was fine. Any position would work for what he planned.

Flowey carefully lined the tip of the little trigger thingy up with the opening of the lock. He pressed the trigger for a few seconds, forcing the hard-setting epoxy into the locking mechanism. Only when it started to overflow did he stop. He put the tube back in his inventory, lowered himself to the ground, and slithered off to find the next door with a lock he could destroy. He couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he did so. The Revenants had no idea what was coming to them.