Despite the fear of an intruder in the house, it had to have been one of the most relaxing weeks of my life. Not wanting to be in the house alone for too long, I spent the majority of my time with friends. Hannah, Jordan, and I became regulars at the little ice cream shop in town. Most of our time was spent studying, but occasionally we would derail into conversations about college, siblings, or their favorite topic: boys.

I just could not catch a break around those two when it came to Jasper. They wanted to know everything about our relationship and how it was progressing. It made sense considering how involved they were through our arguing, but I couldn't help but blush and get embarrassed every time they pried for information. The truth was, I was embarrassed to answer them honestly because there wasn't much to tell. Jasper and I had progressed painfully slow that week. There was very little physical affection beyond holding hands on our way to class in the morning. I'd told I would follow his lead with this, but honestly, Jasper hasn't acted remotely like a boyfriend this past week. In fact, I've actually seen him less as a couple than when we were arguing.

We'd had a few days of sun and suddenly the Cullens just stopped showing up to school. The others had told me that it was because they all went camping every time it was nice out, but after a week I wondered how anyone possibly believed that. There was no way that a bunch of teenagers got to just ditch a week of school for camping, even if they were a bunch of immortal teenagers. I wanted to ask Jasper about it when they returned to school on Friday, but he practically avoided me all day, besides our daily walk to first bell.

"I don't want to keep you from your friends," Jasper told me on Saturday. Though the calc exam came and went, finals were just around the corner. So, Jasper and I had planned to spend the day studying together. Unfortunately for me, the location of choice was my house which meant we had to brave my lovely family. The only saving grace was the fact that Will had taken Laurie to the park that morning and would be gone for a couple of hours.

"That's bullshit and you know it," I shot back at him, tapping my pencil furiously against the floor of my bedroom as I tried to focus on my history textbook. "There's no way I'm ever letting a guy take away my Hannah Time. Just say you were avoiding me and that's fine."

"I wasn't avoiding you, Valerie. Maybe I'm as stressed about this semester as you are."

"Oh, so an immortal guy who's gone through high school however many times is suddenly stressed about school? That's the best lie you could come up with? How have people not caught onto you guys sooner," I returned teasingly, "Like that camping story? What's up with that?"

"My family doesn't get along with the sun."

"What, you'll burn up?"

"Not quite."

"I have so many questions I want to ask."

"And I appreciate that you're not asking them."

"You're lucky to have me, by the way. I overheard Bella Swan and your brother the other day, and yikes. She just keeps pushing him." For once, her truck was parked near mine and she's not quiet. Though she did mention some things that were really interesting to me, things I would absolutely bring up when Jasper was ready to tell me everything.

"Edward needs someone that will push him sometimes," Jasper answered, "I, however, have everything I need right here."

"You're such a sap, you know."

"You like it, Darlin'."

"That might be true," I laughed, sitting up from where I was previously laying on my stomach. The floor between us was a mess of textbooks and notebooks. Most of the cluttered mess was mine while Jasper's things were neatly stacked to the side other than the notebook he was currently working out of. "You know, maybe I should talk to her. She hasn't been talking to many people now that she's with your brother and I feel kinda bad."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jasper spoke slowly, cautiously. It was so slow and careful that his accent even came through thicker.

"Why not? The worst thing that could happen is we don't mesh and that's fine too."

"You know she is much more insistent than you are," Jasper explained in that same slow drawl. When I nodded, he continued but looked like he was scared of telling me this. "Edward was not so...careful with our secret, as I have been."

"Are you telling me she knows everything already?" I wanted him to explain because honestly, it didn't make sense. This girl who has known the Cullens for a month suddenly knows more than I do, when I've known them all year? "I thought it was a family secret that couldn't be told to anyone."

"It is. I haven't told you because knowing would put you in danger," Jasper tried to explain.

"Or you don't trust me." I'm not sure where the words came from, but it made sense as soon as they slipped out. If the family allowed Edward to tell his girlfriend, then they would have allowed Jasper to as well. As far as I know, Bella hasn't been injured recently besides that almost-car wreck when she first moved here.

"You wanted us to be normal teenagers." A new look took over Jasper's expression. I might have been tempted to call it desperation. This was probably not a conversation he ever wanted to have with me. Maybe he was just upset that I figured him out. "I'm just doing what you wanted."

"Don't you dare make this my fault," I snapped, pulling myself up to stand. He soon followed suit. Suddenly I was thankful that Rebecca didn't care if the bedroom door was closed. "We are far from normal. You're scared to touch me, Jasper! And I know that something must have happened to make you scared and that's okay, but that alone makes us far from normal. Other couples go to the movies, and meet each other's friends, and just do normal people things. I understand we can't have that but don't you dare keep secrets from me under the guise of keeping us normal. We'll never be normal, Jasper."

"You said you wouldn't push the matter."

"I'm not pushing anything, Jasper!" It came out as practically a screech; it was so loud I wondered if Rebecca would come upstairs to investigate. "I've respected your decisions but you just keep lying to me. I'll understand, just tell me the truth."

"I'm scared to tell you, Valerie. The way we are now keeps you safe. If you want to end this, then right now you can. It will be safe for you to be alone and not have to worry about constantly looking over your shoulder. If I tell you, then you're in this. It would be difficult to escape this life once you know." Jasper spoke quietly, stepping forward to grab my wrists as gently as possible. "Edward believed Bella was safer if she knew. I want to tell you when we're ready. When you're absolutely sure that this is what you want."

"You make it really hard for me to be mad at you, ya know," I grumbled, looking down at our shoes. It felt like I was already becoming a crazy girlfriend. Clearly I needed to take a step back and give him some space. I'd made a promise and I was already beginning to crack when things didn't go perfectly. Jasper had warned me that he wouldn't be perfect and still I got mad when he wasn't.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"No, I wanna be mad right now."

"So you're okay, not knowing."

I sighed then, looking up from our shoes so I could see his face. Jasper still looked unsure; his entire body was tensed like he was prepared to run right out of the room depending on my answer. "I'm okay. And I'm sorry, it's no excuse but I've just been really stressed lately."

"Why don't we take a break from studying for now," Jasper suggested, moving his hands down my wrists to hold my hands.

"I can't. We have so many exams coming up and I am so unbelievably behind already I can't g-"

"Valerie, breathe," Jasper reminded me, not speaking until I took a deep breath and tried to relax my thoughts. "We can study later this week. You need to take care of yourself. Take a deep breath, ask Hannah to get lunch, and have fun today. You'll be more productive once you recharge."

"I hate it when you're right."

"It happens so often."

"Shut up, Texas. I don't even like you."

"Now I know that's a lie. Laurie told me otherwise."

"I knew I should've sold that girl on eBay when I had the chance."

"You're stalling. Call Hannah."

"Fine, fine," I gave in. "Call me tonight?"

"I'll talk to you then."

There's this little butcher shop in town that's run by an older couple. There are tables just outside of the shop and people can come inside to get blocks of meat or deli sandwiches. Turns out these are the best sandwiches I've ever had in my life. The shop has become a regular spot for Hannah and me to hang out even when it's a little too cold to be sitting outside. That's where we ended up later that afternoon; both of us wearing coats to protect against the chilled wind.

"I thought you were studying with Jasper today," Hannah spoke after she took a bite of her sandwich.

"He kicked me out of my own house," I laughed, picking up my own sandwich. "Said I was too stressed to study."

"Well, that's cute!"

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know, things are weird. I picked a really stupid fight with him this morning and I feel so bad. I can't help it though, Han, he just gets me so angry sometimes." I needed to figure this out before we could really be a couple, otherwise, I was going to mess this up for us.

"Val, you're stressed. It happens. I know you by now. You get stressed and you start lashing out at people and honestly, Jasper's always been a good target for you. Aren't you the one who calls his good looks irritating?"

"But he shouldn't be. That's not okay, it's not fair to him. I can't just get mad whenever I'm stressed," I groaned, taking my frustrations out on my sandwich.

"Have you thought about getting into kickboxing or something? That'd be an awesome way to let out some steam. I think there's a place in Port Angeles."

It wasn't a bad idea. In the fall, I had soccer and conditioning to help me let out some steam. Now that sports were over and it was too cold to workout outside, I was beginning to feel a little lost. "I'll try it out. Maybe you should come with me?"

"Oh no, I'm not the workout type. You should ask Jordan though, I think she does something like that."

"Okay, no more about me. What about you and Mike?" I asked before finally being able to finish up my sandwich.

"There is no me and Mike. He asked Jessica to Prom," Hannah said as her shoulders slumped over.

"Oh, Han, I'm so sorry," I spoke quickly, not wanting to ruin her mood because I brought up something dumb. "You can find someone way better than him though. When you go off to Seattle in the fall you're gonna find some hot theatre boy or something to sweep you off your feet."

"I better find a hot theatre boy," Hannah laughed. "I can't believe we're all gonna be moving from Forks soon."

"Yeah, it seems crazy that we're all adults now. Like I've been waiting for this for so long but I actually like what I have here in Forks," I added. I thought I had everything in Roseville. I was the beauty queen, the popular girl, everything. Turns out I have better friends here in Forks and even an amazing guy that I really don't deserve.

"Have you decided where you're going yet?" Hannah asked. It was nearing March, so I did have to make a decision soon. Still, I had no idea which school I was leaning towards.

"I don't know. Either Texas or Washington with you. I think I'm gonna talk to Jasper about it, he seems to have everything figured out already."

"Yeah? Where's he going?"

"Emmett said they were all going to Alaska," I answered. In August, we would be separated anyway. Was that why I was so upset recently? It didn't matter what I did now, it would probably all be over in August when we moved as far as possible from each other.

"Alaska? Damn, that's far!" Hannah shouted, "It's like he's trying to run away from you!"

"Yeah, I know it definitely seems that way."

"You know I was joking, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, I hate to say it, but I've gotta get running. My mom wants me to go shopping for dorm supplies with her today," Hannah said, scooping up her trash to throw away.

"Already?" I asked. I didn't even know where I was going yet, and she was going to be getting supplies?

"Yeah, my mom likes to plan ahead."

"Don't wanna keep her waiting then. Tell her I said hi," I laughed, standing up and searching for my car keys. "Thanks for having lunch with me."

"Anytime, girl!"

After lunch, there were no other distractions left between me and my studies. Will and Laurie were in the backyard playing while Rebecca was grading a bunch of essays her students had written. This left me with little choice but to finally focus on the work at hand. Still, the little journal on my nightstand was far more enticing than the history book splayed open on my lap.

It felt like an invasion of privacy, reading this journal. This was a time in Jasper's life far before I even existed. It was when he was as young as myself; when he was prepared to fight in a war I was studying in a history book. Still, Jasper had given me this book and that gave me permission to read it, right?

Still, though, I couldn't figure out why he would give me this. Jasper was one of the most secretive people I knew, surely this would be something he would balk at sharing. I couldn't imagine giving someone my journal filled with thoughts I'd never spoken out loud, much less someone I was romantically involved with. Jasper trusted me with this journal for a reason; I just had to figure out why.

September 2nd, 1861

They had been winning. Everything had been going to plan and they had been winning at the Union-Confederate border. Now though, in North Carolina, they had suffered a crushing defeat. Jasper Whitlock had little time to marvel at the new states he'd been in due to all of the battles. Now he had time as they found their dead and treated their wounded, but he had little motivation to explore.

Jasper didn't think about this part of the war. Even though he was far from the med tents, he could hear the screaming from where he sat. It pained him to think that some of the men he'd come to view as brothers could now be in that tent. He wouldn't know until a few days from then when the counting had finished.

To distract himself, he'd ended up by the river. There was blood and dirt all over his calloused hands and it sickened his stomach any time he looked down to view it. Jasper was no stranger to blood; he lived on a farm, after all. The red now staining his hands was frighteningly human, however. Jasper scrubbed at his hands with an aggression not often seen from him. This was the life of his comrades on his hands and he couldn't get it off.

"Whitlock," a familiar voice called out to him from behind. "Grab some of the river silt. It's coarse enough to clean."

Jasper didn't look up but then again, he didn't need to. It was Arthur Davis, a current captain in the army. This was a man that Jasper had come to look up to, someone he could respect. Davis was much older than he, well over thirty. Though he supposed Arthur had no idea that he was still only seventeen, as it was illegal to pretend he was of age as he was doing.

"Am I needed? I was under the impression we had a reprieve."

Arthur came to sit beside Jasper, watching as the younger man scrubbed his hands clean. "No, everyone deserves a break now." It was silent between them for a time, the only sound coming from the water rushing in front of them. "How are you holding up?"

"We've been in battle before, Lieutenant. I should be used to this by now," Jasper began to explain, not daring to look up and face him. "This loss...it's difficult."

"It is difficult for everyone. We all came into this war expecting an easy victory. So far we've had that, but this loss is devastating. We will have to come back from this together." Jasper didn't speak again, instead considering what Arthur had just said. War wasn't supposed to be easy, but Jasper had assumed it would be. After hearing his father's stories of victory in the fight for Texan independence, Jasper figured he would march into battle and win everything for the second fight of independence. It pained him to think he was wrong. "They're considering promoting you to lieutenant of the Texas cavalry."

Jasper's hands halted, still dipped into the river's cool water. "Already?"

"As a soldier, you have proven yourself. Your strategizing skills are impeccable. We lost recently but without you, the casualties would have been far worse," Arthur explained. "I'm not supposed to be telling you any of this, but I thought you deserved a warning. You have great potential, Jasper Whitlock."

"Valerie! Someone's at the door for you!" Will called up the stairs, interrupting my reading. I sighed, closing the journal and running my hand gently down the front before setting it on my nightstand. What Jasper had gone through when he was just seventeen, it was hardly believable. It made me feel even worse for exploding on him earlier in the day.

"Okay, I'm coming!" I shouted back, hurrying to fix my athletic shorts and throw a bra on under my t-shirt. I can't imagine who would be at the house for me, especially considering it was far past dinner and into the evening.

When I got downstairs, Will was grinning at me. He stood just by the open door, where Jasper was standing on the front step. He held a small bundle of flowers in his hand, giving me a smile when he saw me. Why wouldn't Will warn me not to come down in my pajamas? My shorts suddenly felt far too short, though I was relieved I remembered to put a bra on.

"Oh, hi, Jasper," I greeted, stammering a little as I neared the doorway. "Thank you, you're so sweet," I continued as he handed over the flowers, "Can I apologize for this morning? I was way out of line and I shouldn't have pushed so much."

"No, you had a point, Valerie," Jasper answered quickly. "You've done everything you could for me, you've respected my wishes and have done nothing but treat me kindly. You deserve the same kindness and I haven't given it to you."

"Jasper, you have. You've been absolutely w-"

"Please, I'd like to finish," Jasper interrupted softly. "I would like to take you on a date, a real one. Where we don't have to worry about anything, just us. We can be normal."

I leaped forward then, wrapping my arms around him before I could think about it. Jasper tensed but folded himself into the hug. It didn't last long as I realized that he may not be fully comfortable with being so close yet. Still, though, it left me with a warm feeling in my chest. "Thank you."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, Darlin'," Jasper spoke, breaking from the hug and turning to leave.

"Well you two are adorable," Will teased, closing the door once I stepped back inside.

"Shut up," I murmured back, cheeks blossoming red at the thought of him knowing I had a date tomorrow. A date. A normal, adorable date that Jasper planned for me.

"Oh no, I finally have something to make fun of you for. You won't get out of this so easy," Will laughed, throwing his arm around me and messing up my hair like the annoying brother he was.

"Oh c'mon, leave me alone."

"You two seem pretty serious. Haven't you only been dating him for a week?"

"How do you know that?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. I couldn't wait until I could retreat into my bedroom and pretend I never had this conversation with my brother.

"Laurie is very excited for you," Will continued, "She says she's glad you won't end up alone."

"That little traitor. Are you okay if I sell your daughter on the black market?"

"Maybe only on the legal market."

"Deal."

Hey, guys. Sorry if this chapter wasn't the best. It's been an incredibly stressful week for me and it was really tough to get something out. We think that my brother might have covid but we can't get tested so updates may be a little sporadic for a second. I also got a PM from someone complaining that in the flashbacks with Jasper they don't speak like they would have in the 1800s. I agree that they don't but honestly, it would take way too much research on my part to do it and it would probably just end up sounding cliche and offensive. So, I'm going to leave it like this for the sake of the story. Addressing that same PM, I just want to let everyone know that I appreciate constructive criticism and I love to know how to improve my story. I don't, however, appreciate insults and blatant making fun of the story. That is not okay.

Anyway, thank y'all so much for reading and I'll talk to you in the next update.

LizzyFields: Thank you so much! I thought about his backstory for a really long time, trying to come up with some explanation for it. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

ellorae: Oh trust me, they're not done. The bickering is my favorite part of their relationship as I agree it just fits for them. So that will definitely be back soon. Also, thank you so much! I love writing Val and Emmett's crazy relationship so I'm glad you enjoy it.

Ghostwriter71: Yep that is the only expletive from now on. Thanks for reviewing!

Phoenix-Rising29: Oh I 100% plan on having Jasper and Laurie be absolutely adorable. Like, that just has to happen. I guess we'll find out about the red eyes soon, huh? Anyway, thank you once again for continuing to support this story!

Nikki - Chaos: Thank you so much! The original version of this story didn't have Laurie in it and honestly it just feels so much more natural with someone there to annoy Val all the time. I'm glad you think so too!

EchoInTheVoid: Oh I know I felt so bad writing it, knowing what Jasper had in store for him. Thank you so much for reviewing!

.2020: Hello! Thank you for your multiple reviews. Yes, this story will absolutely include all of the Cullens. This will happen more as Valerie becomes closer to Jasper and as she learns their little vampire secret. There will eventually be some Bella in this story but not a lot.