Day 67

I had my eyes closed as I sat on a rocking chair on the porch of the farm house. Everything was silent now, except for my own ears ringing loudly in stress. I breathed in, allowing my head to rest on the back of the chair, and out, slowly, my feet nudging the wooden floor to rock the chair softly. Otis and Shane had left for the high school, Maggie was gone looking for Lori, and the others were around Carl. I was a quiet moment, which I highly valued. I had to cool down, allow my body to return to normal, allow my brain to stop screaming.

I knew it wouldn't last long. It never did.

The door to the house creaked open to let out both Rick and Hershel, who joined me on the porch. Hershel sat on the chair by my side and Rick stood on the railing, looking outside.

"Your farm is beautiful, Mr. Greene," I said in a low voice, as if scared to mess up with the rare peace of the moment. "I can see you take very good care of it."

"It's been in my family 160 years."

"I can't believe how serene it is," Rick said looking out. "How untouched. You're lucky."

"We aren't completely unscathed…" the old man disagreed from his chair. "We've lost friends, neighbors. The epidemic took my wife and my step son."

I nodded looking down, "I'm sorry… It's like there ain't nobody alive who ain't lost someone these days."

"It sure is, but my daughters were spared. I'm thankful to God for that. These people here? All we got left is each other."

"Yeah… We know how it is. We, our group… We're also al we got."

"Let's hope we can ride it out in peace until there is a cure."

Rick looked back into the porch and his eyes met mine, we both thinking the same. Rick looked down and out to the field again as I tried to choose my words.

"Mr. Greene… We've been on the road for a while now. We tried shelter in different places. One of them was at the CDC, in Atlanta. The most important place nearby that'd be working on a cure," I paused, making Hershel look at me, waiting for me to finish. "It's destroyed. Blew up to pieces, we all nearly blew up with it. They had no cure."

Surprisingly, he smiled. "I don't believe it. When aids came along everyone panicked. One boy in town came down with that and some parents pulled their children from school so they didn't have to sit in the same room."

"This is a whole other thing…" Rick said shaking his head and he turned to face us in the chairs, leaning against the rail.

"This is what we always say, 'this one's different'. Mankind have been fighting plagues from the start. We get our behinds kicked for a while. And then we bounce back," with a serene smile, he looked from me to Rick and back. "It's nature correcting itself, restoring some balance."

We exchanged a look again and Rick lowered his head, his disbelief in the man's words clear.

"Well," I started carefully, "I don't believe it, Mr. Greene. I really don't… But I'll be more than happy to be wrong about it. I hope we're wrong about it."

Maggie came back on the horse with Lori by then, galloping across the same field I had run just a short while ago, the sunset painting a beautiful picture that ended up unobserved. I stood on the porch with Hershel as Rick went to meet his wife on the garden in front of the house, telling her what happened and holding her as she cried, and then leading her inside. I sat back down on the rocking chair, my throat painful at the sight of the mother's desperation.

"Delivered your message," Maggie told me as she climbed the steps. "You were right; he did not trust me."

I gave her a little smile, "He was protecting the group… Takes his job very seriously."

"He your guy?"

I huffed, "What? No… It's – I don't, he's…" and I paused to get in control, and finally shook my head. "No."

With a knowing smile, Maggie dropped it, "Did you eat already?"

"Just a glass of juice… Don't know if I can stomach much more."

Rick gave Carl blood once again and could barely walk after that, his face pale and sweaty, but still refused to sit when he and Lori joined Hershel and I in the dining room, so Lori could understand better what was about to happen. Later, I sat once again on a bench outside on the porch, under the shadow of the house. Maggie joined me, quietly taking a seat by my side. Sun had come down and still Shane and Otis had not returned with the equipment, the emotions at the house growing tense by the minute. Everybody knew what they might be facing out there and everything that could go wrong, but an unspoken agreement made us not mention it, and simply wait.

Going over everything that had happened today, so far, I felt like I'd been awake for days already. So much had happened! Improvised breakfast at the road, Andrea's drama, the search on the woods, the corpse on the tent, the church bell and the hope it arose, the disappointment, the deer, Otis and the shot, the run and the farm and, finally, just minutes ago, realizing Mr. Greene was actually a veterinarian.

Craziest and longest day ever.

I smiled for a moment before starting to laugh, quietly, my shoulders increasingly shaking. Maggie turned to look at me, eyes a little wide, gob smacked.

"Sorry! It's crazy, it's just…" and I kept laughing. "It's just that, you know, feels like a week ago but just a couple of hours ago, Otis –" and I paused to laugh a little more. "Otis said 'go to Hershel, he's a vet, he'll help!' and we were all like ok, well, a veteran!" I laughed more, just a little louder, and Maggie started laughing with me, understanding the line of thought. "We never thought vet meant veterinarian!"

We were still laughing softly together when a car appeared at the far, the low ruffle of the motor disturbing the silence of the farm.

"Is it them?" Maggie asked.

I stretched my neck to see over the railing, "Not all of them, we got more cars," and I got up, squinting to try and see who was driving but the lights made it impossible. I wondered why just one car, where was everybody else, what had happened, and in a second a thousand scenarios crossed my mind, how unaware of things I was now and how uncomfortable that felt. Where was Daryl?

Glenn and Theodore hopped out of the car looking curious but calm and I sighed in relief. Seemed like everything was fine. Except for Theodore himself, who was wrapped in a blanket even though the evening was nearly as hot as the day had been and looked nearly white on his paleness. I stood on top of the stairs, waiting for them to approach.

"Holy shit, T," I said as a hello. "You look like hell."

He laughed and sounded high, "Gee, thanks!"

"He's got a fever," Glenn explained as they stopped there. "Cut's infected. Daryl gave him a few of Merle's pills, some antibiotic I guess."

"Okay, come on, let's take a look at it," I gestured them to come up.

"You okay?" Glenn asked me as he came up and pointed at my eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah, just a twig, was nothing."

"Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?" Maggie asked them from where she was still sitting and both Glenn and Theodore looked past me at her, only now noticing there was someone else there.

"Uh, hi," Glenn raised a hand lamely. "Yes, we closed it. Did the latch and everything. Hello. Nice to see you again, we met before, briefly."

"This is Maggie," I told them as the girl got up from the bench. "Maggie, Glenn and Theodore."

Theo just nodded, his eyes nearly closed as if asleep, and Glenn waved again.

"Where are the others? Why only you two came?"

"Daryl decided they should stay one more night. Says he's gonna put a sign for Sophia in case she comes back to let her know we're looking and to wait there. Set some supplies too. They'll all come in the morning."

I nodded, the sense of pride I'd been feeling for Daryl showing it's face once again.

"Look, we came to help," Glenn kept talking. "Is there anything we can do? We got some antibiotics and painkillers, if Carl needs it."

"Come in inside. I'll make something to eat. You too Sam, is your stomach settled enough, you think?"

"Yes, it's definitely better."

We followed Maggie inside and she went straight to the kitchen. I gestured them both to follow me and stopped at the bedroom's threshold, pointing inside. Glenn and Theo solemnly entered, their faces betraying the distress in seeing Carl lying there like that. Inside, Rick and Lori saw them and nodded their greetings.

"Uh… We're here, okay?" Glenn told them nearly in a whisper. Whatever you need."

Glenn was a sweetheart. Not for the first time I felt a wave of tenderness towards him. He was a gentle man, not much more than a teenager actually, he had to be what, nineteen, twenty tops? I felt like if I'd ever had a brother, I wanted him to be just like Glenn, if life had given me one.

Patricia came to stitch Theo's arm, poor woman, I could see the worry in her eyes, her heart must have been aching right now, and she had to just do something as she waited for her husband to come back. I hoped he did, both he and Shane. I sat at the table with them and Glenn just paced nervously around us, because Theo was getting stitches, and many of them, with no anesthesia at all and man, that had to hurt. On the table, the sort of medication Daryl had found in Merle's bag.

Damn, the man was a walking pharmacy! I wondered how he was coping without them now; withdrawal must be kicking his ass. Been through it, didn't want to be on his shoes right now. And where the hell was he, anyway? Without a hand!

"Merle Dixon," I heard Patricia say as is reading my thoughts. "Is that your friend with the antibiotics?"

Uh, tough subject. Glenn looked at me and we exchanged a second. He must have known it was hard to me to talk about it.

"No, ma'am," he answered instead. "Merle's no longer with us. Daryl gave us those… His brother."

"Not sure I'd call him a friend," Theo was able to groan out though his pain with the stitches.

"I would," I said immediately and Theo looked at me, kind of an unreadable expression. "Merle was my friend, all things considered," I paused for a moment to gain some drama and moved on, "Horrible person! The one you'd want away from you. But ended up being my friend after all."

"Well, horrible person or not," Patricia looked from me to Theo, "he is your friend today. This doxycycline might have just saved your life."

"You know what Merle was taking it for?" Maggie asked as she held Theo's arm in place.

"The clap," Glenn answered quickly and caught himself. Every one of us was looking at him and I fought the urge to laugh at his awkwardness. "Uh… Venereal disease. That's what Daryl said."

"I'd say Merle Dixon's clap was the best thing that happened to you," Patricia declared and this time I did laugh, out loud, just a Maggie did.

"I'm really trying not to think about that!" Theo suffered just a bit more.

Glenn left the room then, apparently unable to take Theo's pain and the needles and his own awkwardness anymore. Poor guy, this instant crush on Maggie was palpable. She really was very pretty, and nice. I liked her a lot. I was glad to see her follow him out just a minute later, as soon as Theo's stitches were done and she could let his arm go.

"Your turn," Patricia told me after Theo thanked her and stumbled out of the chair, all but dragging himself over to the couch.

"Oh, God… Do I really have to?" I whined a bit.

"Come here, let me take a look."

I got up from the chair I was in and occupied the one Theo vacated. Patricia removed my eyebrow bandage and looked the cut over before saying, "Sorry to disappoint, dear, but this will be a three or four stitches. It's a small cut, but it went a bit deep and eyebrows tend to bleed a lot, see this?" she showed me the bandage and it was all red in new blood that had come out after Maggie tended to it.

"Yes, I figured. Let's get on with it then…"

It did hurt a lot, the needle and the stitches perforating my skin, I could feel everything. But I didn't cry out as much as Theo did, I'm proud to say. I ended up being four stitches, and a much smaller bandage after it was done.

A while later, I was sitting on the porch with a bowl of warm oatmeal, made with milk, and with raisins in it – oh, the heavens! Breakfast food for dinner, and the sustenance, it was just amazing. I ate is fast, but still appreciated the flavor of every spoonful. I was already scraping the bowl then a car approached. I placed it aside and got up to recognize Otis' old truck. They were back! I got up and ran down the porch stairs just as the others left the house to greet them back.

Shane got out of the driver's seat and took heavy bags from inside the car, and he limped his way to meet us, breathless, his eye wide and not blinking. He was a wreck. Something had gone really, really wrong, and where the fuck was Otis?

"Carl?"

"There's still a chance," Rick told him as Hershel took the bags and handed them to Glenn.

"Otis?" he asked Shane, also noticing his absence.

Shane looked down.

Fuck.

He took another moment to answer, saying simply "No."

Fuck! We had just got that family's friend killed.

There was a stunned silence and, by my side, I hear Maggie take a painful intake of breath. Hershel looked around, lost, and after a moment said "We say nothing to Patricia. Not 'till after. I need her," and he grabbed the heavy bags on his own again and ran inside.

Rick went to Shane and hugged him, thankful. I turned to Maggie, who was frozen on her spot and touched her shoulder. When she looked at me her green eyes were filled with tears and her lips trembled.

"I'm so sorry… God, I'm so sorry, Maggie…"