Throw Me to The Wolves & I Will Return Leading the Pack
Summary:Morgan, the newest member of SVU hasn't had much luck with men, but her new partner might just be the one for her, if only she could let Sonny Carisi know. Men come much easier to her friend Riley, who's maybe not prepared for the challenge that Peter Stone provides.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Law and Order SVU, Morgan and Riley however are all mine.
Chapter 24:
A few weeks after her little breakdown at home, Riley was feeling a bit better about herself. She knew that there had been massive amounts of hormones coursing through her body so the fact that she had actually broke down and cried after her procedure wasn't really all that surprising, but it still stuck with her.
When the clinic had called her while she was at work and informed her that her blood tested negative for pregnancy, she had managed to hold it together for the rest of the day, even though her mind was definitely not on work. It was fine, at least that's what she kept telling herself, but by the time she arrived home after her day at the office, she was feeling pretty tired and a lot miserable.
Why hadn't in vitro worked? What had she done wrong?
Instead of making dinner like normal, Riley changed into her pajamas and flopped onto the couch where she promptly fell into a light slumber, only to be woken when the front door shut, signaling that Peter was home. Well he was earlier than she was anticipating, but then again, she didn't usually have a nap when she got home from work, she usually got right to work on making dinner.
Not today, she wasn't feeling it today, and who could blame her really?
"Riley?" He called out to her, apparently not finding her in the kitchen. When he stepped into the living room, she remained lying on the couch but lifted her hand up and waved to him, letting him know where she was. Peter came to crouch down in front of her and she let out a yawn. "Hey."
"Mm, hi." She murmured and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to keep herself warm now that she was awake.
"What's up?"
"Nothing." She offered casually and when he gave her leg a rough pat, she reluctantly moved slowly into a sitting position, Peter shifting from a crouch so that he could sit on the edge of the coffee table.
"I find that hard to believe." Peter pressed and he extended his hands out, offering them to her to hold if she desired to do so. When she uncrossed her arms, she took hold of one of his hands and blew out a breath. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"How do you know anything's wrong?" Riley quipped but not in a mean tone, she sounded genuinely curious as to why he believed she wasn't okay.
"I have never once, in our entire relationship, come home to find you lying on the couch." Peter stated. "So either something's wrong or…no, something's wrong."
She considered dancing around the point and not telling him right away but what good would that do, honestly? He'd find out eventually and he obviously cared or else he wouldn't be pushing so hard for him to tell him what was up with her. They were a couple, a team, so why was she so afraid to tell him that she wasn't pregnant?
Lifting her other hand up, she ran it through her hair and let out a soft sigh. This was so hard for her, and not just the telling him bit, the whole thing sucked. She just wanted to be able to get pregnant and so far she wasn't doing very well. She was starting to feel like maybe the guy back in college was right, she was a faulty woman, but more than that, she wasn't able to be a mother.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure it's fine."
"Not really." She shook her head and gave his hand a squeeze, quickly taking hold of his other hand. "The clinic called today, I'm not pregnant."
He sucked in a nervous breath and met her eyes, watching as the tears well up there. He wasn't sure what to say to her at this point but he knew she was hurting and it made him feel bad. He was supposed to be the one to support her, he wanted to be there when she got news like that, but that wasn't how it happened.
"Well we can try again, right?" Peter was leaving the ball in her court, not knowing what she'd want to do at this point in time. "We said we'd try it twice-"
"I need a break." She cut him off, sighing loudly once she got the words out.
"From…what exactly? From me?" He didn't want to sound scared but he was. When people proclaimed they needed a break, it generally wasn't good for the other person in the relationship. Riley was his fiancé, he wasn't about to lose her over something that they could work on. "Because I hate to tell you this, you're stuck with me. We have a mortgage, you can't just walk out of that."
A small snicker escaped her and she rolled her eyes at him, "no, never from you."
"Then what? Whatever you want a break from, just tell me."
"From this whole baby thing." She finally managed to get the words out. "I went off my anxiety meds for in vitro and I don't think I can handle not taking them much longer. Peter, I know I said I want a baby but I just…I need to breathe."
He gave her a nod of his head, wondering if she felt pressured by him at all. He was all for whatever timeline she wanted, she had to know that, but maybe the words she was saying out loud were more beneficial to her than to him.
"I'm game for whatever you want to do, especially when it's your body."
"Are you sure?" She blinked and tears ran down her cheeks. Oh no, was this another panic attack, was she going to start panicking completely. When she let go of his hand and pressed her palm against the centre of her chest, he knew that whatever she was going through at that moment, it was more than just disappointment.
"Yes. You are what matters to me and if you want to take a break, for however long, that's okay with me. I can't imagine any of that process was easy for you." He said softly.
She forced a smile onto her face, recognizing that he was completely aware that the process was awkward for her just as much as it was for him. It didn't matter that she wanted a baby bad enough to go through in vitro fertilization; it was still clinical and invasive; even more than that, it was unnatural and uncomfortable. She found herself constantly on edge too, wondering if she was doing things wrong when they were just normal, everyday things.
When the phone rang at work, she had jumped, and then froze at the sight of the clinic's name on the screen. She had been excited, but also scared, terrified even. They had been trying for so long without success and Riley knew that it was going to take a miracle at this point in time.
"If I can't have kids…if we can't do this, are you going to stop loving me?" She asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
Peter stared at her but lifted his one hand up, running his fingers along the side of her jaw and wiping the tears away with his thumb.
"I don't know that I could stop loving you if I tried." He smiled at her and she bowed her head, a sob getting caught in her throat along with a chuckle. "You're it for me, no matter what."
Riley lifted her head back up and forced a smile onto her face, "okay."
He held her gaze for a good ten seconds before lunging forward, enveloping her in his arms as he moved to sit next to her on the couch. When her face was buried into his chest, he heard her let out a soft cry and felt her body shake; but he didn't know if it was all from the sadness of not being pregnant or maybe a bit of relief.
She clearly lost her confidence in him somewhere but he wasn't going anywhere, not for as long as she'd have him. They were engaged, they had a house together and they were going to get married. Peter didn't want anyone but Riley.
"You didn't make dinner." He stated and she leaned back, locking her eyes on him. He smiled at her and shook his head. "That sounded like an accusation, I didn't mean it that way, I think it just naturally comes out all lawyer like- what I was trying to get at is I can order us a pizza, we can have a beer together and just have a chill night in."
She blew out a breath through her nose and gently set her forehead against his shoulder, "Peter Stone, you can be a genius sometimes."
"I know." He smirked. "Later we can even go to bed and you can cuff me to the headboard and do dirty things to me."
She let out a low bark of laughter and gingerly slapped his chest, "you know me so well."
"I figured that would cheer you right up."
She couldn't help the smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Yes, being back on her anti-anxiety meds was definitely starting to make Riley feel more normal and less…crazy, yes crazy. She had a lot to be anxious about but talking to Peter had relieved some of her nervousness, being back on her meds relieved a lot more. Today was going to be great, so great that she found herself smiling as she wandered towards the entrance to Central Park, Morgan standing there leaning against the gate post.
The two of them spotted each other and jogged towards one another, closing the distance quickly, where Morgan immediately took her friend into a big bear hug, Riley relishing in the embrace. Central Park seemed like a great place to meet, it was a nice day, albeit a little on the cool side, but nothing that a light jacket couldn't combat.
The foliage was beautiful and there were lots of people milling about, kids playing on the grass, people picnicking on blankets, it was just the perfect scene and Riley couldn't help but smile as Morgan slipped her arm through hers and led her along the wide path, the two of them basking in the warmth from the sun high up in the sky above.
"You look good." Morgan remarked, reaching across with her free hand and giving Riley's arm a rough pat. "I can't wait for you to really get going on your whole wedding plans. I want to go dress shopping with you and make you try on tacky chandelier dresses."
"I wouldn't be opposed to that." Riley chuckled. "The good thing about me getting married is that I have no relation to Sonny's sisters so they definitely won't be there."
"Not even Bella?" Morgan feigned a dramatic gasp but let out a giggle shortly afterwards.
"Nah, I think just you and me, maybe my mom will come down for the occasion."
"That sounds nice. Should be a calm day." Morgan nodded her understanding.
"Yeah, actually speaking of calm day, I found a little boutique out near Coney Island. I thought we could check it out and then spend some time at Coney Island, maybe we could hit up the roller coaster?" Riley tossed the idea out. She had looked into it a few days ago and the boutique had originally caught her attention but the idea of spending an afternoon riding the amusement park rides with Morgan and her mom sounded like a fun way to forget her woes for a day.
"Oh I love me a Ferris wheel." Morgan grinned. "Sounds great! Don't they have an aquarium too?"
Riley beamed right back at her friend and gave her an affirming nod of her head, "maybe we could even make a weekend out of it? Book a hotel there, I can even try to find some more bridal shops nearby?"
Morgan's eyes lit up with excitement, "girls' weekend!"
"With my mom." Riley threw in but Morgan didn't care, she loved Riley's mom. "She can pretend we're kids again, but this time we won't run off and get lost."
"Like when we were kids." Morgan cocked her head sideways and recalled the time that Audrey had taken them to Coney Island for the day. They had gone on a ride and when they got off, Audrey had been nowhere to be seen. The two of them wandered around for hours when they happened to run into Audrey, literally, as the older woman was talking to a security staff.
It had been an adventure but once they were back with Audrey, the three of them had found themselves having a wonderful afternoon, this time Audrey didn't wait for them to ride the rides, she had joined them. It had been a nice experience for both girls, and even Audrey had loved spending time with the two of them.
"So you're down?" Riley pressed and Morgan paused in walking, leading Riley over to a nearby bench on the side of the path. The two of them sat down and Morgan turned sideways to face Riley, who mirrored her motions. "Because I need something fun like Coney Island, you and I haven't spent a weekend together, just you and me, since I met Peter."
"I think that's a little dramatic, but I agree. Coney Island girls' weekend sounds fabulous."
Riley tilted her head sideways and let out a soft sigh of relief at the thought of heading out to Coney Island with her best friend and her mom, pending the fact that her mom could make it. She wanted to run the idea by Morgan first because if it had wound up being just Riley and her mom- well that would've been lame.
Morgan had been all in though, even throwing out ideas of her own, like the aquarium. Oh lordy did that ever sound like something neat for them to enjoy, and on top of all that, hopefully Riley would find herself a wedding dress.
"So…" Morgan started but trailed off, peering around at the park. She took in the sight of the people around them enjoying themselves while walking, or jogging, or the kids that were playing, she just felt happy here. "I might have some news."
"Good news?" Riley pressed and she felt her heart picking up in speed. Nope, this was fine, she could handle whatever Morgan had to say, so long as it didn't affect their Coney Island plans. Morgan was her friend, she just hoped that it wasn't bad news.
When Morgan's eyes widened ever so slightly, she couldn't help but grin, "I think it's great news."
"Oh my god, what?" Riley leaned in forward, anticipating whatever it was she had to say. Great news was awesome, definitely better than bad news, but Riley hadn't actually been expecting bad news.
"Okay so I'm telling you first, even before Sonny." Morgan stated, her tone turning serious. Riley could feel her stomach turning, knowing that whatever Morgan was about to tell her was maybe already something Riley was aware of, but she certainly wasn't going to let Morgan know that.
"Mo." Riley fixed her with a pointed look and Morgan let out a low squeal.
"I'm pregnant!"
Riley gaped at the news and tried to force herself to be happy for her friend. God she felt like such a turd, but the news was bittersweet to her. It wasn't like Morgan knew her issues, so she couldn't tell Morgan how she was really feeling, but part of her was upset.
What had been so hard for her had come so quickly to Morgan. Her and Sonny had only been married for a little over a month- her and Peter had been trying since Morgan and Sonny had gotten engaged with no luck.
"That's great." Riley smiled and prayed to god that Morgan wouldn't be able to see that her own heart was breaking. "God Mo!"
"I know!" Morgan cried out excitedly and Riley lunged forward, enveloping her in a congratulatory hug. She really was excited for Morgan, she was, honestly, it was just hard news to hear.
Running her hands up and down Morgan's back, Riley peeled away but didn't let go of her friend's arms.
"You told me before you told Sonny?" Riley quipped, cluing in to what she had said before telling her the great news. "Actually?"
"Yeah." She giggled. "I took the pregnancy test this morning after he left for work and this isn't something you tell your husband over the phone so I was waiting until he was done work and back in the apartment, face to face you know?"
Riley nodded her head, smiling, "makes sense to me. God, seriously, that's so…so great."
Deep down in her gut, she knew she wasn't lying, it was great news, good for Morgan. Her friend was so excited, so happy to be pregnant, and who could blame her. It was the next step for her and Sonny, who were perfect together. Sonny would make a great dad and Morgan would make an excellent mom.
Morgan couldn't wipe the smile off her face and when Riley let out a laugh at the sheer excitement on her friend's face, Morgan followed suit.
"You're going to tell him tonight though, right?" Riley pressed and Morgan nodded her head furiously. "Okay because I can't not tell Peter and he'll probably say something to Sonny so yeah."
"I'm going to tell him tonight." Morgan beamed. "So no worries."
Riley smiled back at her friend and Morgan reached out, giving her knee a rough slap. She was so happy, so excited to have a family with Sonny. She wanted two kids and so far she was well on her way to being halfway there. It was frightening but she was way too happy to be scared, especially not now. They had time to get organized, they had time to find a bigger place, most likely a house.
Morgan wanted it all with Sonny and yeah, so she hadn't planned on it happening so soon, it didn't matter, not in the long run. Her and Sonny had been together for a long enough time that it made sense, plus, the logic of getting pregnant on her honeymoon had been sound at the time. Sonny knew what he wanted and Morgan was happy to oblige.
"It's a honeymoon baby." Morgan stated and Riley cocked her head sideways. "Conceived on our honeymoon. What do you think of the name Venice?"
"No." Riley shook her head with a smile.
"Alright, fair enough, I just thought it would be a cute story, you know, I could tell the baby their name is Venice because that's where they were created."
"That's not even a little bit cute, it's disturbing." Riley laughed.
Morgan stuck her tongue out at her best friend but laughed with her, maybe she had a point, maybe it wasn't as cute as she originally thought.
"You and Peter should have a kid now too so they can grow up together." Morgan teased and Riley forced herself to let out another laugh.
"Peter's all 'let me focus on my career right now' so that probably won't happen." Riley lied, she blatantly lied. It had been her opportunity to come clean to Morgan but she hadn't. She didn't want to rain on Morgan's parade.
"Pfft, you should tell him you want babies, that man would do anything for you." Morgan snorted. "Literally anything."
"Yeah." Riley agreed. "I'll talk to him about it but if he wants to focus on his career, who am I to get in the way. Plus there's still plenty of time, him and I aren't even married yet."
"Oooh yes, you can have a honeymoon baby too!" Morgan shrieked. "Paris?"
"Paris was thrown around but we haven't decided on anything solid yet." Riley bowed her head. "Now see Paris is a decent name for a kid though."
"I still can't believe you shot down Venice!"
"I can believe it." Riley reached out and poked Morgan in the shoulder. "I'll probably be shooting down a lot of your ideas."
"That's why you're my best friend." Morgan chuckled. "You aren't afraid to tell me if something is stupid."
"Like naming your kid Venice." Riley nodded. "That's stupid."
Morgan couldn't help but laugh at Riley. God it felt good to get her news out there for someone to hear, and she was so glad that Riley was with her. She was too excited to keep it to herself until Sonny came home from work, plus she was sort of a practice announcement.
"Baby!" Morgan cackled and Riley went in for another hug.
Oh yes, there wasn't anything more that Morgan needed at that very moment, life was good.
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Morgan was practically pacing, wearing a hole in the floor in front of the front door, but she didn't care. She couldn't take it anymore but Sonny was running late, which she knew from his text telling her that court had run long and he would be home about half an hour later than she was expecting him.
She had made an easy dinner consisting of pasta, meatballs and garlic bread, all of which was ready and keeping warm with the stove and oven. But she found herself way too off base to relax. She had it all planned out, she'd tell him the good news while they were eating, but that idea had gone to complete shit when she had finished cooking and realized that she seemed to have way too much pent-up energy to actually sit down and eat.
There was too much excitement, too many thoughts flooding her mind. She needed Sonny to know and she needed him to know as soon as possible. She was going to burst soon if he didn't get home, she wanted to yell it from the rooftops and tell everyone she knew, but he deserved to know, especially since she had told Riley first.
It hadn't been anything personal, she had just been there and Morgan had felt like she had to tell someone, the news was too good to keep to herself all day.
When the door flew open, she jumped back and planted her hands on her hips, staring at Sonny as he wandered in looking rather worn out. Huh, okay, well honestly that didn't really surprise her seeing as she knew that court had run long, he was probably tired, very much so, but still, she was going to tell him, just as soon as-
"Hey doll." He said with a sigh and closed the door behind him, peeling off his suit jacket and tossing it to the couch. He paused and looked past her, taking in the sight of the pan of meatballs on the stove and a colander in the sink full of noodles. "You made dinner."
"I did." She beamed at him and he clearly mistook her excitement for pride. He was the one that cooked, not Morgan, hell even when Morgan had lived with Riley, Riley had been the one who did the majority of the cooking.
"Pasta, nice."
"Meatballs." Morgan leaned forward, a sparkle in her eye.
Sonny brushed past her and headed for the stove, grabbing a fork from the drawer and stabbing one of the meatballs with it. He blew on it to cool it down and then proceeded to shove the whole thing in his mouth, chewing it slowly. She merely watched him with curiosity and when he finally swallowed, he gave her a small nod, letting her know that it was good.
Thank Jesus! She had struggled so hard to get the meatballs to stay round to start with but she had made it work, thanks to the help of google and maybe a quick phone call to Riley. Sonny ignored her as he opened the cupboards and pulled out two large plates, setting them on the counter as he closed the cupboard.
She wandered over and ran her hand across the front of her shirt, sucking in a breath and preparing to just blurt out her good news.
"So this guy in court today reminded me of Bitey McBite-face." Sonny announced and Morgan promptly clamped her mouth shut. "He was almost like a mirror image and funny enough he had this little scar near his eye- just reminded me of the night you gouged out that scumbags eyeball."
"He was attacking me." Morgan stated, feeling like she had to defend herself, but she knew Sonny was fully aware of what had happened that night. She had every right to fight back.
"Oh I know doll. It just threw me back to before you and I were together."
"Right, okay." She took a step towards him but he stopped her when he handed her one of the plates he had procured. She took it and stepped back, letting him go first, scooping out a healthy portion of noodles before moving along the counter in front of her to the stove, where he plopped five meatballs on top of the pasta. She watched him for a few seconds as he made his way towards the table but opened her mouth before he had a chance to sit down. "There's garlic bread staying warm in the oven."
His lips curled into a smile and he set his plate down at the table, heading back to the oven and pulling the oven mitts over his hands. She stood frozen in place, watching as he pulled the garlic bread tray out of the oven and set it on the back of the stove, grabbing two pieces and carrying them over to his plate with the mitts still on his hand.
"Smells delicious." Sonny remarked, setting the garlic bread on the side of his plate, then peeling the oven mitts off his hands and walking them back over to the counter. She still had yet to move so when Sonny grabbed her plate from her hands; she flinched slightly, not expecting him to do that.
He piled some pasta on her plate and then set some meatballs on top, finishing it off with two pieces of garlic bread. He nabbed her hand on the way by and hauled her to the table where the silverware had already been set out. Morgan sat down in her chair and he placed her plate down in front of her.
She stared at him, watching as he rubbed his hands together like an excited child. Child, oh right yes, she had news for him, great news, and so far he hadn't given her a chance to tell him.
"You use that cookbook my sisters got you for your bridal shower?" He asked, grabbing his fork and holding it above his plate. "Or did you call my mom and ask her for her recipe?"
Morgan opened her mouth to respond but instead of answering his questions, she found herself at a loss for words. Could he not simply sense that she was excited for him to come home, could he not see how happy she was by the smile she had permanently plastered on her face since her walk through Central Park?
"Riley." Morgan spat out. "I…it was a joint effort between Google and Riley."
"Well these meatballs are delicious." Sonny smiled and stabbed another one, shoving it into his mouth and chewing it.
"Sonny…" She trailed off and set her hands on the table, her palms flat against the surface. "I have something to tell you."
"Rollins giving you a hard time at work again?" He pressed, a smirk on his face suggesting that he was just joking with her. "Or uh-"
"Can you just shut up for a second?" She broke in and sucked in a breath. "Sonny, I have good news, okay so stop talking."
He looked at her curiously but she didn't look mad, if anything she seemed flustered.
"Okay." He waved at her to go on with his fork and she blew out the breath she had sucked in seconds ago.
"I'm pregnant."
His fork dropped right out of his hand, landing on the table after hitting the edge of his plate. He was standing up at the table in a split second, eyes wide with wonder and a shocked expression on his face. She smiled up at him and before she knew what was happening, he was around the table and hugging her tight, Morgan struggling to get to her own feet as he squeezed her.
Phew, so he was happy. She figured he would be since it was practically his idea, but she didn't know if maybe his mind had changed since they had come back from Venice. This was reassuring, she was glad to know that he was still right there with her. They were going to have a baby, they were going to become a family and she was thrilled.
"That's the best news ever!" Sonny whooped as he leaned back, loosening his hold on her. He looked her up and down, searching for signs that he might've missed but she shook her head with a smirk.
"I'm not very far along Sonny Bunny." She chuckled. "I found out this morning."
"God Mo, you don't even…this is such great news."
"Yeah and if you had shut up, I would've been able to tell you earlier." She joked, pressing her palm against his chest. "We're going to have a baby!"
"A baby." He echoed her words and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. She stiffened at the action, not expecting it, but she relaxed once she realized he was just as excited as she was and kissing her was his way of letting her know that. She kissed him right back and when he pulled away, she laughed. "A frigging baby!"
"Yes!" She yipped. "Our baby."
"Oh god, I have to tell my mom- wait, can I tell my mom?" He pressed, looking into her eyes. She cocked her head sideways and considered his request.
She was still in the very early stages so maybe the less people that knew, the better, but surely his mom deserved to know. She was a good woman, she was his mom, if he needed to tell anyone, it should definitely be his mom.
"Yes." Morgan nodded. "But don't tell anyone else until I'm further along, okay?"
"Okay, yes!"
She was hauled forward again and he squeezed her super tight, but she didn't care. This was the perfect reaction to her perfect news.
Her and Sonny were going to have a baby!
XxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxxX
Riley found herself watching the Yankees game on her own that night, Peter was home but he was in his office, working on a closing statement or something along those lines. She hadn't really been paying attention, instead she had been trying to sort out her feelings about Morgan's grand news.
She was excited for her, she wouldn't deny that, but part of her was jealous that it had seemed so easy for her. She had been trying for a while now with nothing to show for it, hell, her and Peter had even moved on to clinical methods and still nothing.
She just wanted a baby of her own, was that too much to ask?
Apparently the answer was yes, which frustrated Riley to no end. She wasn't frustrated with Morgan, not even a little bit, she was frustrated at the whole situation. It sucked, it wasn't fair, but she wasn't going to take it out on Morgan, hell, she didn't even tell Morgan when she had been handed a perfect opportunity to do so.
Maybe one day she'd gain enough courage to come out and tell Morgan that she couldn't have kids.
Letting out a low growl, Riley flung herself off of the couch and walked over to the door to Peter's office. It was half open and she could hear his keyboard clicking away as he typed but she needed him right now.
Lifting her hand up, she knocked on his door, watching as he jumped, clearly not expecting her to bother him- was that what she was doing, was she bothering him?
"Shit sorry, I…" She trailed off and he turned to face her head on. "I'll just go watch the Yankees until you're done."
"Riley-"
"Nope, I'm bugging you, and I'm sorry." She shook her head and let out a soft sigh. He was in his office working and she had simply ignored the fact that he was doing his job. She could be patient, she could wait a while longer until he was done, she could-
He got to his feet and reached out, grabbing her hand and tugging on it. Peter drew her towards him and when she was standing in front of him, he wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her down to sit on his lap while he took a seat back in his chair. She set her arms on his shoulders and looked into his eyes for a second before peering behind him and glancing at the screen of his laptop.
"You have never bugged me." He murmured, Riley pressing her lips together.
"You can say that all you want, but you were working and I just came in here-"
"You're more important than this case, or any other case."
She wasn't sure how to respond to him, so she didn't say anything, choosing to gingerly press her forehead against his instead. He stayed quiet too, waiting for her to start talking, to tell him what was bugging her, because he didn't want to push her.
It was easy to see that she was struggling with the fact that the first round of in vitro hadn't worked, but she had been the one to ask if they could put things on hold for a bit. She was entitled to change her mind though and he was ready to do whatever she wanted when it came to attempting to have kids.
"Morgan's pregnant." Riley confessed and his grip on her tightened slightly.
"You knew that was a possibility." Peter replied, voice barely louder than a whisper.
"Yeah and I think I'm happy for her."
"You think?"
Letting out a low sigh she closed her eyes for a second, opening them back up to find he was still looking at her, "I am happy for her, it's great."
Peter lifted a hand up and slipped his fingers through hers, holding it against his chest. Riley leaned back, putting a good few inches of space between their faces.
"It sucks for you though, is that what you're going to say?" Peter questioned, her head nodding yes as an answer. "You're allowed to feel that way, you're allowed to feel whatever way you feel."
"But I feel bad for the way I feel because it's not her fault that I can't get pregnant, hell she doesn't even know I can't get pregnant."
"You also don't have to tell her if you don't want to."
"I definitely do have to tell her." Riley countered. "Because as of right now, she thinks that the reason I'm not jumping on the baby train is because you're too focused on your job to settle down."
"That's what you told her?" Peter chuckled.
She shied away from his gaze but nodded again.
It wasn't like she planned to tell Morgan that, but it had been the easiest excuse she could think of. She wanted to tell Morgan that she couldn't conceive but now seemed like a terrible time because then Morgan would be sad for her and this was a time for Morgan to be excited. The girl was growing freaking life inside of her, that was an amazing feat and she didn't need Riley's sob story to bring her down from that high.
"I can tell her that it's not you-"
"You tell her whatever you want. If that means you're letting her think you're blaming me for it, I don't care, I can take it." Peter cut her off. He knew she'd go tell Morgan the truth if he really wanted her to, but he wasn't about to do that to Riley. "If you want to tell her that I have bad sperm, you can do that too."
"No." She shook her head. "No that's…I will tell her, just, eventually."
"Honestly Riley, it's your truth to tell. When you decide to tell her, she'll understand but if you don't want to tell her, ever, I'm okay with that too."
"I will tell her." She repeated her words from seconds ago. "I just don't know when."
"I believe you."
With a sigh, she relaxed against him and ran her thumb over his, letting him continue to hold her hand. He was such a comfort to her when she needed it, he was always there to support her, she just wished that she could give him what Morgan was giving Sonny.
"I'll just give her a few weeks, you think the excitement will wear off by then?" Riley asked but his chuckle told her that he didn't figure the excitement would be worn off by then. "Okay, seriously, now I'm leaving."
"You don't have to." Peter argued.
She offered him up a shrug and made her way to her feet, breaking his hold on her. She hesitated as she stood in front of him and when he followed her lead and stood up too, she stared at him, wondering what he was doing. When his hands came to rest on the sides of her face, she held her breath and when his lips pressed against hers, she melted into the kiss, letting her body relax for the first time since Morgan had made her big announcement.
She pulled away with a smile and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"Come watch the Yankees with me when you're done?" She requested and he smiled at her.
"I shouldn't be too much longer."
"Yeah well, they're only in the third inning so you've got at least another two hours until they're done." Riley pointed out.
He gave her a nod of understanding and let go of her, watching as she sauntered out of his office. A smile graced his face and with a low chuckle, he dropped back to his chair and turned to face his laptop. It was evident that Riley was going to be okay, at least for now.