Warning: indirect kiss(?)

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"Kama, what—" Rin followed him into the living room, confused, but was interrupted by the sky outside darkening abruptly as a gigantic projected image appeared.

Kushina ran to the window and shoved it open, climbing out so she could see what was going on. The others followed, but Kakashi made use of their distraction to quickly flip through the top few pages of the wall calendar.

In a day's time, there would be an eclipse.

It couldn't be…

And yet, as he looked out from a different window at the sky above, he saw his old enemy.

"I am a shinobi of Konohagakure, and my name is Hiruko," the projection spoke, its reddish-pink eyes looking coldly upon the stunned village. "Using my Chimera jutsu, the kekkei genkai ninjutsu from four Great Shinobi Villages are already in my grasp. And when I obtain the fifth, I will become the perfect, immortal ninja. With that power I will begin the Fourth Shinobi World War, and rule over all…"

Kakashi couldn't help but scoff at that, even as thoughts whirled within his head at what this development would mean for the illusion world. Hiruko had seemed such a terrible threat back then, but he was nothing compared to the likes of Uchiha Madara and Ootsutsuki Kaguya.

But then, instead of fading away like it had done in the real world, Hiruko's projection continued speaking.

"I would advise you not to do anything hasty," it said, every word dripping with malicious glee. "A certain someone has already tried, and…"

The projected image shifted, holding up a piece of red cloth marked with a black spiral, and Kakashi's blood ran cold as he realised the error of his complacency.

"...it didn't go so well for him."

The projection finally faded and Obito reappeared in the dining room alone, cursing loudly. The others turned to him in surprise, and only then did they realise that Kakashi was already gone.

The air burned in his lungs, but Kakashi didn't stop running. He had to put as much distance between himself and Konoha as possible, as that was where most of Minato's safe houses were located. It was difficult to remember where they all were, as it had been eighteen years since the real Minato was last alive to use them, and Kakashi had no knowledge of where else Minato's illusion world counterpart might have planted his Hiraishin kunai.

It was strange to not have Naruto by his side. The world was suddenly too quiet, too empty, and Kakashi kept half-expecting to see him pop up out of nowhere like it had all been a massive prank.

It felt like an eternity since the two of them had last been so far apart, and Kakashi was loath to admit it, but he missed him already.

Had Hiruko merely been bluffing? It was possible, certainly, but Kakashi knew the man had gone quite mad with power and arrogance. But if Hiruko really did have Naruto captured…

Could he be that much more powerful than the one in the real world?

But Obito had also taken Naruto to the Kamui dimension. Kakashi had been too late to actually see it happen, but there was no mistaking the feeling of that jutsu – of chakra twisting the very fabric of reality itself, to connect separate dimensions.

So how had Naruto ended up in two places at once?

Kage Bunshin was at the top of the list of possibilities, and Kakashi tried to recall when Naruto could've made the switch. It would've been extremely difficult to do so in the presence of so many high-level ninja, especially when they all knew of his signature jutsu, so the only window of opportunity would've been…

Kakashi allowed himself to slow down slightly, having made it quite far from Konoha by now. He was glad that he had only eaten a very light breakfast and no lunch, as all the running and chain-casting Shunshin had left him feeling nauseous.

Naruto must have switched with a clone while he was investigating the chasm. In that case, he must have found something there which was important enough for him to stay behind, without telling the others or even Kakashi.

But then again, he hadn't really had a chance.

Kakashi had little more than vague impressions of what had happened between the activation of Hiruko's Puppet Curse, and waking up to see Naruto's tearful face. However, he did know that Hiruko's lair was located in Mount Shumisen, near the border between Kusagakure and the Land of Earth. It was not too far from the chasm, but Kakashi had not made the connection at the time.

It was very unlikely that Naruto would still be investigating the abyss. Kakashi knew that Minato had left a Hiraishin seal at the site before taking them all back to Konoha, so going there to look for Naruto would just lead to him being captured by the fastest shinobi alive. He had only been able to escape with the element of surprise; he knew Minato could take him out easily if they ran into each other again.

Perhaps he should have expected that Obito would be first to realise the truth. His Mangekyou Sharingan was quite possibly the most dangerous one to ever exist, and he'd always had a knack for finding out things he wasn't supposed to know. And he would be too angry to keep it a secret for long, so he must have already told the others. Kakashi hadn't waited around to find out if that was indeed the case; he only had one good chance at escape and he couldn't have let it go to waste.

Taking everything into account, it became clear that going straight for Hiruko's lair would be the best option.

Kakashi paused briefly to re-orient himself, mentally charting out the best path to Mount Shumisen that would keep him out of Minato's Hiraishin range, while also avoiding detection by Kusagakure shinobi.

Naruto had, as usual, overdone things when he gave Kakashi chakra earlier, and thus Kakashi's escape had barely put a dent in his chakra reserves. If he kept up a good pace, he could be at Kusagakure by the next day. And if he pushed himself harder…

Kakashi closed his eyes and drew on his chakra, feeling his pulse quicken as the rush of power flowed through his body. The extra chakra Naruto had given him immediately adapted itself to help stabilize his own, merging with Kakashi's chakra as it became stronger and more condensed.

Kakashi opened his eyes again and looked down at himself. A thin layer of white chakra covered his body, glowing faintly, and he noticed that it was far more stable than how it had been the last time.

He looked up at the trees around him, which were so tall that their branches seemed to pierce the sky. With a single leap he reached the canopy, perfectly balanced with one foot on a branch and the other sticking to the tree trunk. The bark cracked a little from the power he'd exerted, but the wood beneath it did not break. Kakashi took a breath to re-adjust himself to the enhanced strength, noting that the chakra had enhanced his senses and perception as well.

With this, he could reach Mount Shumisen by nightfall.

Another effortless leap, and he was back on the ground. Kakashi kept his heartbeat and his breathing tightly regulated as he started running, intent on reaching his destination without any further delay.

He was going to have words with Naruto when he saw him again.

"You look like hell," the silver-haired boy said bluntly.

Naruto laughed, but quickly stopped with a quiet hiss of pain as the action pulled sharply on the still-bleeding wound in his side.

"I'll have you know, I'm normally very handsome," he retorted, but his voice was strained. "Kakashi-sensei's probably more handsome than me, though. Sure wish I could see his face right now… but it seems like we're stuck with each other, Kama-kun."

"Don't call me that," Hatake Kama said sharply. "I'm not that much younger than you!"

Naruto tried to look more closely at him, but it was rather difficult in his current position. He was hanging by his wrists from one of the five X-shaped frames in Hiruko's lair, and completely covered in chakra-suppressing seals.

"How old are you, anyway?"

"I'm…" Kama hesitated, coming closer. "I don't know. I was thirteen when I fell."

"I know," Naruto said softly. "You're kind of both younger and older than I expected. I guess time passes strangely in the void, huh?"

Chronologically, he was the same age as Kakashi. And yet he looked like he wasn't any older than Naruto himself.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Kama muttered, his single grey eye avoiding Naruto's gaze. "Since none of this is actually real."

"You…" Naruto trailed off, thinking. "You know the truth, then."

"I fell out of the world," Kama's voice was flat. "And saw that there was nothing beyond. It's hard to see any meaning in the world when you know it only exists as a fabrication."

He tried to keep himself calm, but the faint trembling of his clenched fists betrayed him. "I'm not even a real person, just an imperfect copy in an imperfect illusion. Nothing more."

Naruto opened his mouth, but Kama continued before he could protest.

"You're not actually from this world, are you? You're from the one outside – a real person. And your name is Naruto."

Naruto stared at him. "How did you…"

"I could sometimes see into this world when I was in the void, and I saw you fall in," Kama said quietly. "I also saw him. He's the real version of me, isn't he? The person this entire world was created to entrap."

"Well…" Naruto sighed. Part of him almost wanted to lie, and shield Kama from the terrible truth, but it was already too late for that. "Basically, yes."

Kama took a step closer. "Then, why did you stop fighting?"

"I'm not going to apologise for not beating you up, if that's what you're getting at," Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Hiruko's mind control jutsu is a real bitch to deal with. It'd be pretty mean to hurt you when you don't have control of your own actions."

Looking back, he really should have known that Hiruko would've placed his Puppet Curse on Kama as well. While investigating the abyss he had suspected that Kama was no longer there, but had not realised until it was too late that Hiruko had been the one to pull him out.

"I don't mean that!" Kama snapped, taking yet another step forward. They were now face-to-face, and Naruto could clearly see every detail of the scar on his face. It was exactly identical to Kakashi's, but the eye socket was empty.

"Why does it matter to you what happens to me?" Kama demanded. "You don't even know me! I'm not even—"

"A real person?" Naruto finished, a wry smile pulling at his bloodied lips. "Do you feel like a real person, Kama?"

Kama pulled away, startled. "What's the point of asking that? You already know I'm not real."

"You're still you, though," Naruto answered simply. "And I think that counts for something. Can you tell me a little more about yourself? I want to know what happened to you."

Kama stared at him for several long moments. "Why?"

"Well, we're both stuck in here, aren't we?" Naruto tried to shrug, but it was quite impossible with both arms dislocated. "I'd ask you to set me free, but Hiruko's Puppet Curse seal thing will probably prevent you from doing that. Besides, the seals he put on me are pretty nasty… definitely wouldn't want you touching those."

Kama hesitated again, then abruptly turned away and walked somewhere out of sight. Naruto couldn't sense chakra very well with all the seals on him, but could vaguely detect that he had gone to one of the side rooms.

He could also sense that the four other shinobi Hiruko had hung from the diagonal crosses were already dead.

"Rather cold of you to leave me like that," he said, as Kama returned. "I was just starting to get lonely."

"Shut up," Kama glared at him. "You'd think someone as injured as you are would have a lot less energy for talking."

"I always talk too much," Naruto laughed weakly. "It's just what I do – OWW!"

"Sorry," Kama muttered, but kept pouring the antiseptic onto Naruto's wound even as the latter cursed and hissed from the pain. "I'm garbage at healing, so this is the best I can do."

"I – holyfuckinghell that burns – I've had worse, don't worry," Naruto gasped, eyes watering. "Could've done with some warning though."

"I would say I'll keep it in mind for next time, but doubt there will be one," Kama said quietly. "I don't know the details, but there's some kind of ritual Hiruko will be carrying out tomorrow, using the power of the eclipse."

"Yeah, I know," Naruto said. "Of course, I'm going to stop him."

"When you stop bleeding all over the place, I'm sure."

"Hah! Just you wait. I'll show you what I'm really made of."

"You are unbelievable," Kama shook his head, taking the cap off a canteen of water and holding it up to Naruto's lips. "Shut up and drink."

The first few gulps of water washed the blood in Naruto's mouth down into his stomach, which was a little gross, but certainly not the worst thing he'd ever consumed. He closed his eyes and drank eagerly as the taste of iron gradually thinned out, and his throat no longer felt like it was full of sand. Kama slowly tilted the bottle higher, careful not to spill a drop, until Naruto nodded his head to show he was done. Kama then turned away and pulled down his mask, quickly finishing the remaining water.

Naruto couldn't help the words which fell out of his mouth. He really couldn't.

"Indirect kiss!" he crowed, and was rewarded when Kama immediately began to splutter and cough, the empty canteen slipping out of his hand in shock. It made a horribly loud, clattering sound as it hit the ground, echoes bouncing off the walls and ceiling of Hiruko's fortress.

"What are you, five?!" Kama demanded furiously, whirling around. He had yanked his mask back up again, but there was no hiding the incandescent blush that had spread over his entire face.

Naruto's laughter soon turned into pained wheezes as the gash in his side started bleeding once more. "S-sorry, it's just… your face!"

"Stop it, you're bleeding everywhere!" Kama hissed, fumbling in his bag for the roll of bandages he'd grabbed from the other room. "You're the biggest damn idiot I've ever seen in my life."

Naruto finally quieted as Kama carefully peeled his blood-stuck shirt and jacket away from his skin, and obligingly held the hem of his clothes with his teeth while Kama wrapped bandages around his torso.

"You don't have any scars," Kama said, surprised.

"Perks of being a jinchuuriki," Naruto answered with a small grin. "I usually heal pretty fast."

Kama's eye snapped up to his face.

"Oh, I forgot," Naruto blinked. "You don't know about that stuff."

"No, indeed," Kama said dryly. "You see, being outside time and space tends to make one rather out of date on current affairs."

"I still want to know what happened to you," Naruto murmured, and Kama looked away again. "Please?"

"Will you talk less if I talk instead?" Kama grumbled, and Naruto knew he had won.

"I'll try," he said cheerfully, "I think I'm not too bad of a listener."

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All hail the explosively tsundere Kama.

Now we shall pay respects, as his tsun stands no chance against Naruto's... Narutoness. His existential crisis, on the other hand... hmmmmmm.

Naruto uses his secret jutsu: asking nicely. It's super effective!

What exactly went down between Naruto, Kama, and Hiruko earlier will be expanded upon in the following chapter. Naruto is, of course, just biding his time. And also bleeding all over the place, but whatever, he's had worse. Kama is not amused.

Kakashi will be even less amused.