Waves of Hope

Chapter Twenty-two

Bella

"Sully? What are you doing here?"

Lifting himself off the bench outside the main hospital entrance, Sullivan lopes over to wrap his arms around me. I can immediately tell that something is off, his hug a little tighter than usual, his brows tight when he finally pulls back to offer me a half-assed smile. It's not his smile, his real smile.

"Just thought I'd come see you guys for a couple days. I switched my shifts with Gare so the restaurant is all covered, no worries there."

Frowning, I slip my arm through his as we walk together into St. Joseph's. "I don't care about the restaurant right now, I care about you. What's wrong?"

Raking his free hand through his hair, Sullivan sighs and shakes his head. "I don't wanna talk about it right now. Later, maybe."

"All right." Squeezing his arm, I let the subject drop—for now. I'll give him some time but there's obviously something troubling him, so I'll let him be for a while before I push. "Are you ready to snuggle some babies? They'll be happy to see their Uncle Sully."

That does get a more genuine smile out of him. "I've missed the little groms."

I snort. "No babies of mine are going to be called groms."

"Sure they are! Just you wait, I'll have them surfin' by the time they're walkin'. That's what a grom is, Bella."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I tease, only it's half-hearted because I know he's a great teacher. He helps Everly out with the surfing classes at her swim school, and the boys love tagging along with their aunt and uncle. "Classes are out for the summer now, right?"

"The weekday classes, yeah," he agrees as we reach the NICU doors and head in to get scrubbed up. "I've still got my intermediate class on Saturday afternoons and the little un's on Sunday mornings."

"You're so good with kids, Sully," I start, a little wary because I'm not sure exactly what's eating him but I can guess. "Have you thought about kids? Are little Sullivans in your future?"

Shrugging, his sunny smile evaporates as he scrubs his hands in the big basin. "I dunno. Probably not." There's a brief flicker of self-deprecating amusement in his eyes when he glances around to check we're alone before looking over at me as he points out, "It's kinda hard to have kids when you're a dude who's into dudes, you know?"

It's my turn to shrug now as I file that tidbit away for later. He thinks I don't know that he's been dating one of the servers at Burger Co.

It turns out Garrett is just as much of a gossip as his wife. During my bi-weekly video chat with Tanya to talk all things raising-a-pack, she admitted that her husband told her he saw Sullivan kissing Senna on CCTV when he was trying to figure out who's been sleeping out in the alley behind the restaurant.

But Sullivan doesn't need to know I know that right now.

"There are options," I remind him. "Surrogacy, adoption…being 'a dude who's into dudes,' to quote you, doesn't have to put a stop to you having a family, if that's what you want."

Sullivan hums noncommittally before we're joined by a couple of parents whose baby has been here even longer than mine. Conversation closed—for now—we chat with the Logans for a few minutes before they head out and we head in. I timed it just right to get here in time for baths and breakfast, so Sullivan gets a crash course in bathing squirming babies while I video the whole thing and feed Caben in the glider. May cracks up, too, perched on the edge of the couch with River, Oakley, and Asher propped on cushions so she can feed all three at once.

"You need to put the diaper over his…" I break off as Sullivan lays Mackenzie on the changing table once he's finally clean, cracking up when my warning comes too late and a stream of pee shoots all over Sullivan's threadbare tee.

"Aw, dude…" he whines, quickly covering Mackenzie with the diaper even though it's too late. "What'd you do that for, little man?"

Mackenzie coos, kicking his feet and waving his arms.

Nobody can stay mad at Mackenzie's sweet face. Not even Sullivan in his pee splattered shirt.

By the time he's done with Mackenzie and bathing Asher, I've finished feeding Caben and I'm holding him in the other little bathtub on wheels, smiling at his blissed-out face as I gently wash the milky drool from under his chin.

"Little dude is doin' good now, huh?" Sullivan asks, grinning over at Caben as he blinks slowly.

"He's catching up," I confirm, wiping the washcloth over his chest, pausing on his side where there's a tiny, pinprick scar from the tube they had to insert to treat his pneumothorax. "Rylee has almost overtaken him in weight now. She's five-one and he's five-two."

"He's getting there, though. That's the important thing," May reminds me.

I smile over my shoulder at her, nodding. "I know. He's a little soldier. I know he'll get here, I just can't bear the thought of him falling behind. All the other babies are putting weight on so quickly now and he's gaining maybe a few ounces a week at the moment."

Settling River back in his crib, both him and Oakley having finished their bottles and gotten their gas out, May comes over to join us by the window. Her smile is warm as she squeezes my shoulder and looks down at Caben. "I've seen babies much smaller and weaker than him make it through the NICU and go on to thrive once they're home in a cozy, family environment. Some babies just don't thrive in the NICU and that's okay. It's understandable, even."

Put like that…

"So he might just do better when we eventually get him home?"

"He just might." May offers me a reassuring wink. "Who knows? He might end up being a complete bruiser."

Sullivan scoffs. "Doubt it. He's a soft little teddy bear."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with that, sweet boy," I croon, lifting Caben out of the baby bath and placing him in the soft towel May holds out for me. "You can be a sweet momma's boy as long as you like. I won't complain one bit."

~ oOo ~

A few hours later, just as Sullivan covers his eyes with the hand not holding Asher and points out that he has no interest in seeing my boobs, I'm settling into the glider with River when a familiar rumbling voice widens my smile. Tracing the round curve of River's cheek as he latches on, I tell him, "Daddy's here, little guy."

Edward's booming voice quiets whenever he's in the NICU, but I can still hear him chatting away to one of the nurses on the way to our room. My stomach flips when he appears in the doorway. Even after years together, he still gives me butterflies.

"Hey, handsome."

Sullivan groans, hand still over his eyes. "Oh man, now with the lovey dovey shit—uh, stuff."

Edward frowns, eyeing his brother. "What're you doin' here? And why are you covering your eyes?"

Peeking through his fingers, Sullivan breathes an exaggerated sigh of relief when he sees that I've got my shirt wrapped around River so he couldn't see anything even if he wanted to. Lowering his arm, he flashes his brother a small, uncharacteristically nervous smile. "I was hopin' you wouldn't mind an extra mouth to feed for a few days. I swapped shifts with Gare so I could come hang with you guys."

Edward isn't buying it, just like I'm not. His eyes dart over to me for a second before returning to Sullivan. "Well, sure. You don't have to ask. You got a room? Renee's staying in one of our spares but we still have the other one free. If you're still here when the boys come at the weekend you'll have to bunk with them, though."

"Nah, that's okay. I'm gonna head home Friday anyway. I've got swim school early Saturday morning." Adjusting his hold on the bottle in Asher's mouth, Sullivan's smile becomes more relaxed, more honest.

As he moves to crouch beside me and River, Edward mouths that he'll figure out what's going on later, then turns his attention to our son.

"Hey, little guy. How're you doin'?"

River is chugging like a champ, so I give Edward a rundown on the babies' progress throughout the morning. They've all been weighed again and have gained two or three ounces since last time—even Caben, much to my surprise and relief. When Oakley lets out a wail and a distinctly familiar odor wafts over from his crib, Edward gets to work changing diapers before eventually settling in the other chair with Oakley and a bottle.

Our biggest babies by a big margin, River and Oakley never struggle with their meals. They're done quickly, then we shuffle babies around and sit back down with Caben and Mackenzie squawking for their lunch.

"How's our girl been? I bet Mom's loving having her all to herself."

Edward smirks. "She hasn't got her all to herself. Rosalie drove out with her. She's got a date with Clarke tonight and he's in Tampa for work, so she thought she'd hit two birds with one stone and spend some time with Renee before going out later."

I can't help but laugh. "What's the bet Mom's putting her to work with Rylee?"

"Oh, I'm not taking that bet. That's a no-brainer."

Rosalie is the least baby-minded out of all Mom and Dad's kids. She's happy being an aunt, but I already know Mom will have her up to her eyeballs in baby paraphernalia when I get home. She's nothing if not consistent with her hope that Rosalie will change her mind.

"Oh, and did you hear from your dad? Did the boys get off to school okay?"

Edward barks a laugh before wincing and rocking Oakley to settle him. He forgets that they're easily startled sometimes—we all do, actually. We're too used to our bomb-proof bigger boys.

"They were fine," he promises quietly. "Apparently Arlo managed to talk him into getting an ice cream on the way because that's what we always do on Wednesdays…" he trails off, eyes wide and lips already curling into a grin.

None of us can hold in our laughter at that. Poor Carlisle.

"He didn't think to text and check?" I laugh.

"I guess not. They were running late I think, so he just went along with it."

"Man, Dad's a sucker," Sullivan chuckles, sitting Asher up and setting his now-empty bottle aside. "All right, little dude. Time to prove that you're a Cullen and get a good belch out, aight?"

~ oOo ~

Just like I expected, Rosalie has a baby in her arms and a somewhat stressed expression on her face when I get back to the hotel shortly after noon.

"Trade?" I offer, holding up the bag of takeout I picked up on the way back. Her eyes light up and within seconds she's switched Rylee in her diaper and socks for steak and salad in to-go boxes. "Hey, sweetheart," I croon, kissing Rylee's head as I follow my sister through to the living area. Mom shakes her head at Rosalie with a fond smile before patting the sofa and telling me to come sit.

"I brought some bits down for the babies. I didn't know how many you'd need, so I just put a couple of boxes of diapers and a few boxes of wipes in the back of the car with the box of clothes you asked for."

"That's perfect," I breathe, relieved because I forgot to text her to remind her. "The babies have a couple of onesies each right now and that's it. It'll be nice to be able to alternate them a bit more."

Mom's eyes light up. "Oh, you'll be able to alternate them much more. Look at some of these things I brought with me."

Rosalie returns to the couches with lunch for each of us and a warmed up bottle for Rylee. Flashing her a grin, I murmur my thanks and test the temperature before brushing the teat over Rylee's lips. Once she's happy, I tug a throw blanket over her and ooh and aah over the adorable little clothes Mom brought out for the babies.

"Oh, I'm definitely putting Rylee in that when Brody comes on Friday."

It's a cute green onesie with an attached tutu and a glittery alligator on the front.

"There's a matching set for the boys! It's here somewhere…"

For the rest of the afternoon, I catch up on my sister's life. We talk dating, Swan's Nest, and figuring out how to prepare a house for six babies when I haven't stepped foot in it for months.

Rosalie has been seeing Clarke for a couple of years now. She loves him, but she's still not totally sure if she sees a future with him. Mom tells her she needs to let go of the Swan's Nest reins a little and give him more of her time to see if he's 'the one.' I tell her if she doesn't know by now, he's not the one for her. Naturally, that leads into talk of how well she's doing managing some of dad's hotels by herself. He has nine now and only manages five; Rosalie is in charge of the other four. It won't be long before he drops the reins completely and Rosalie picks up the slack.

I silently wonder what that will mean for her and Clarke if she's already struggling to give him the time he seems to want.

By the time we hear the door open, Edward's and Sullivan's animated voices floating through, Mom and Rosalie have reminded me that they—and the rest of our family—are ready and willing to help with whatever we need so the house is ready for us and the babies.

When Edward appears in the entryway with an occupied car seat hanging from his arm, I gasp loud enough to startle Rylee awake in Mom's arms.

"Oh my God, he passed?"

Edward's grin is a mile wide, his grass-green eyes bright. "He passed."

Hopping off the sofa, I rush over to Edward, Sullivan, and my sweet little man. River is the second biggest of the babies but he still looks freaking tiny in his car seat. "You were supposed to text me if they passed him. Why didn't you text me?" I lightly punch Edward's arm before crouching to unbuckle River and scoop him out. He fusses for a second, then settles right down and aims his gorgeous green eyes at me as I remove his hat, running my fingers through his tufts of dark hair; he and Oakley are the only two with my natural chocolate brown locks.

"I thought a surprise would be better," Edward murmurs, an arm sliding around my waist and his lips landing on my crown. "So, surprise."

My cheeks hurt with the force of my smile. "Two babies. We've got two babies."

"We sure do."

Rosalie heads out to meet Clarke a little while later, leaving me, Mom, Edward, and Sullivan to eat dinner around the little dining table with Rylee and River in the bassinet beside me; thank God we had it here ready. Every few bites, I have to look over at them. I can't stop soaking in their cute sounds and adorable feet kicking around. When I glance down one time, they're holding hands and staring up at me.

I snatch my cell off the table to snap a few photos, sharing them in the family group chat to scores of heart-eye emojis.

"Aight, I'm gonna head to bed," Sullivan eventually says after we've relocated to the couches and given the babies their last before-bed bottles. Leaning back in his chair and rubbing his stomach, Sullivan grins. I don't know how he's not in agony after watching him stuff so much food into his mouth. "I'm beat."

"All right, little brother. C'mon, I'll show you which room is yours."

After kissing my cheek, then Mom's, Sullivan lopes off behind Edward until they disappear down the hall to the guest room. As soon as they're out of earshot, Mom turns to me. "What's upsetting him? He's not himself."

Smiling faintly, I tuck my legs up under myself, sighing with relief at how good it feels. After months of being uncomfortable, I don't think it'll ever get old having my body back to myself. "I'm not really sure. I have a hunch, but he wasn't ready to talk about it earlier."

Mom's expectant expression softens. I'm not the only one with a soft spot for Sullivan. Mom has taken him under her wing, and for all intents and purposes, he's her fifth kid. More than once while we were away in Utah, I caught him over there for dinner when I'd call to video chat with my parents. It's kind of adorable.

"He's such a sweet young man," she finally sighs, leaning back into the cushions. "I wish he'd find a nice girl and settle down."

Smirking, I keep my knowledge to myself and call her on her shit. "You just want more grandbabies, Mom. Don't you think you've got enough for now? The sixers make eleven."

"Eleven." She's back to beaming, her eyes full of pride. "Eleven beautiful grandbabies. Can you believe it?"

"Not really," I admit with a soft laugh. "Nor can I believe that out of those eleven babies, nine are mine."

Nine kids. I'm thirty-one with nine kids.

I'm pulled from that crazy thought process by my mom's hands wrapping around mine. She smiles earnestly, her eyes shiny. "I haven't really gotten much time alone with you since the babies were born, and now with the babies starting to come out of the hospital that time is going to get harder to find, so I'm going to say what I need to say now, okay?"

A lump lodges itself in my throat as I nod jerkily. I've never been able to hold it together when my mom gets emotional. Becoming a mom myself has made it completely impossible.

"Seven months ago, when you told me you were pregnant, I was so excited but I had also never been so nervous. You know that after Dad and I had Ev, we had a miscarriage, don't you?"

I nod, squeezing her hands as my stomach twists into a knot. "You told me after…"

"After you lost your baby," Mom finishes for me. "I did, because I wanted you to know that you weren't alone in your grief and you could talk to me about anything because I knew how it felt. Watching you and EC grieve for that little baby was, in some ways, harder than grieving my own. Watching my baby cry over the loss of her baby...it was soul-destroying."

Tears burn my eyes as I let my mind wander back to those dark days when I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't eat or sleep or muster a smile. I was a walking zombie for days. Mom came out for a long weekend and spent almost the whole time in bed with me while I learned how to breathe again without my chest splitting open.

"You were my rock," I croak.

"I was your mom, sweetie. Being there for your kids is what moms do." Her eyes briefly flick toward the hall; I can hear the low rumble of Edward's and Sullivan's voices as Mom frowns and shakes her head. "Well, good moms, anyway. That's why, when you announced that you were having the sixers in February, I was able to set my fear for you aside. You're a wonderful mom to Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, and I knew you'd be a magnificent mom to these babies, too. They just needed to hang on and make it to your arms and I knew they'd be okay."

Oh crap, here come the tears.

"Mom…" I don't know what to do with myself when she drops my hands until her arms are open and I'm throwing myself into them. With her familiar perfume flooding my senses and my tears spilling over, I hug her hard and greedily soak up the comfort she offers.

"I was so scared at first, but over and over your dad reminded me that we raised a courageous, strong daughter, a wonderful mother and the bravest young woman I've ever known." Guiding me back so she can cup my damp cheeks in her soft hands, Mom smiles tearfully. "Sweetheart, I'm so very proud of you. So, so proud." Her eyes twinkle. "Do you remember when you were little and you always used to tell me, 'Momma, I'm gonna make you so, so proud one day'?"

I sniffle, wracking my brain. "I don't know...I think so?"

"Sweetheart," she breathes, laughing softly. "It's one day. I've always been proud of you, but bringing those babies into the world and handling the last two years of heartache like you have, I could explode, I'm so honored to call you my daughter."

"I love you," I cry, throwing myself at her because I'm an emotional wreck these days and the only thing that's going to fix it right now is a hug from my mom.

A little while later, when my head is resting on her shoulder, her fingers running lightly through my hair, we hear the telltale sounds of a baby starting to fuss.

"I bet that's Rylee," Mom murmurs.

Peeling my eyes open, I hum and lift myself from the sofa just as Edward walks back into the room, announcing his presence with a long, loud yawn. Sure enough, Rylee is the baby wide-eyed and whimpering in the bassinet.

Shooting Edward a wry grin, I tell him she's been good as gold and was fast asleep until he returned.

"What can I say? She's a daddy's girl."

Scooping her gently from the bassinet like the most fragile shard of glass, Edward lifts Rylee to his shoulder, stroking soothing circles over her back until she settles down. His eyes are warm and bright as he flashes me a bone-melting grin.

As if he's not adorable enough holding our tiny baby girl, he has to roll out that smile.

"Bottle or boob?"

Mom snorts as I roll my eyes at his straightforwardness. "Bottle for River, boob for Rylee. I'm going to alternate them while I have two home."

"All right." After handing me Rylee, he presses a lingering kiss against my forehead, leaving me with butterflies in my stomach and a ridiculously lovesick smile on my face.

Once Rylee is happily eating, I feel Mom's eyes on the side of my face. I'm not the only one wearing a silly smile. "What?"

She shakes her head, but laughs and admits, "You. It still makes my momma heart so happy seeing the light you bring to each other's lives." Mom glances over at Edward and I follow her gaze, twisting my neck a little to see him.

He's rocking side to side in the kitchen, humming along to the music we've had playing quietly throughout the evening. River is up on his shoulder and his scrunched forehead proves that he's ready to eat, but he's not fussing, just content to be in his daddy's arms.

It's a sight I honestly wasn't sure I'd ever get to see, but here we are.

We'll probably spend the next eighteen years somewhere between stressed and exhausted, but despite the thousands of diapers we'll go through, the endless sleepless nights we're facing, and the inevitable difficulties that will come with raising nine children…

I couldn't be happier.

"You bring out his peaceful side," Mom whispers.

Turning my attention back to her, I smile. "He brings mine out, too. I didn't know it could be like this, but he's…" amazing.

Mom's smile turns mischievous as she winks before raising her voice slightly. "From personal experience, I can tell you it only gets better once you're married."

Edward snorts, taking River's bottle from the prep machine and shaking it as he crosses the room toward us. "Nice try, Ren." Sitting on the sofa beside me, River smacking his lips for the bottle he's staring at, Edward flashes me a grin. "We'll get there when we're ready. We wanted to wait until our family was complete, and now it is. Our hands are a little full right now, but you'll be the first to know when we're ready."

What he's not saying is that a wedding is much further away now than it ever has been. Though I'm eager to share his last name and officially snag him, weddings are pricey. They're even more so when you factor in our large family, including the friends we see as family, and the fact that we now have three big boys and six infants to clothe, diaper, and feed. Sure, we could pull off a small wedding with only the essential people present, but that's not what we want. We're willing to wait to have the big day we picture when we talk about the day we get hitched.

"Right now, a wedding is nowhere near our list of priorities, Mom," I tell her firmly, softening my words with a smile. "It's not a 'not ever,' it's just a 'not now.'"

Mom is placated by that—enough that she kisses both our heads and both the babies before excusing herself to bed. With a healthy dose of amusement in her eyes, she looks between the four of us and wishes us luck on our first night as parents of 'twins.'

So, how do we think they'll cope with their 'twins?' ;)

As I mentioned in my reader group, I've written up to the end of this story now and I'm starting to make a list of futuretakes I might like to write, so if you have any 'must haves,' please feel free to let me know.

I have a new rec for you today, something a little different. I'm privileged to be dipping my toes in the beta pool for the first time with this one and it's really great, so please hop on over and check it out if you're into non-canon stories!

English Rose, by BikerBarbie1846
Edward and Rosalie have always been in each others lives and have spent every first together since they were five years old. What happens when life starts to pull them apart and they have to face obstacles such as international moves, engagements and family affairs?

As always, I'm so grateful for annaharding and maplestyle for being their awesome selves, and to all of you for taking the time to read and review. Stay safe, everybody xo