XXI
Jace had settled himself as comfortably as possible on the hospital bed, his knees pulled to his chest and a pillow to hold onto. He couldn't handle anything touching the welts on his back, not even the light fabric of his t shirt.
"Luke, could you help me out of my shirt? It hurts too much." He asked, noticing that he couldn't do it on his own. He just couldn't lift his arms properly.
"Sure." Luke replied and got up to help the younger man in front of him.
Luke took hold of the bottom of the shirt and gently pulled it up trying to keep it from touching Jace's back. He noticed Jace stiffening when he had to move his head down, all his muscles tightened and the boy grunted with the effort. With all the movement Luke noticed that some of the welts had cracked and started bleeding again and his heart sank at the thought of what Jace 'd had to go through.
"Do you want me to get you a nurse? It started bleeding again." Luke said, but Jace shook his head.
"Just dab at it with this cloth, it'll stop bleeding in a bit." And he handed Luke a wadded cloth to use.
"Thank you." Jace said, when Luke was done and sat down.
"Don't worry about it." The man replied.
"Well, I guess we better get started, won't we?" Jace asked, a leaden feeling settling in his stomach.
"If you are ready?"
"Not really, but I'll have to get through this at some point, so why not now? It's not like I have anything better to do, and I hope it will help find Clary."
"You'll do fine. Just take your time and tell me when it's too much."
Jace nodded, his eyes downcast on his hands. "Well, here goes." He finally said.
"I'll start at the time Valentine came in my life. It was a few weeks after my father had died. He was a cop, don't know what he did though, but one day we found him dead at home. He had been shot and my mother and me found him lying at the bottom of the stairs. I never found out what happened to him, but I'm sure it had something to do with his job. Some time after the funeral Valentine started to come over to our place. My mother said he was an old colleague of my dad's and he wanted to make sure we were doing alright. It made enough sense to me at age ten. A lot of people I had never seen suddenly showed up at our door bringen casseroles and cakes and cookies. It's how I met Alec and Isabelle and their parents. They lived down the street and we went to the same school, but before that we didn't have a lot of contact. But after my father had died they came over a few times to play and keep me company while their parents helped my mom sorting out all the paperwork.
"At first Valentine was gentle, helping me out with school, driving me to soccer practice if my mom had to work. I trusted him, even though he was sometimes a little harsh both in words and in his manners. He didn't like it when I talked back to him and I hated him at times for acting like the father I had only just lost. At a certain moment, it must have been about six months after my father had died, I wanted to ask him something. It was about a science project I was working at in school and I couldn't understand how it worked. So I ran into the office, the one that used to belong to my dad, without knocking. He was on the phone, talking to someone. I wasn't interested in what he was saying, so I took het book I had brought and rifled through the pages to find the chapter that I couldn't understand, the one I had a question about.He was so taken into the conversation that he didn't notice me immediately. So I waited at the door. And then suddenly he saw me." Jace swallowed hard, the memory coming painfully to the forefront of his mind. "He broke the conversation off very suddenly and turned to me, his eyes almost black with rage. He screamed at me, saying I was rude and impossible to handle and then, out of nowhere, he backhanded me and told me it was my own fault. I shouldn't tell my mother because it would hurt her and so I never told her anything. The bruise, I told her, came from playing soccer. It was the first he hurt me, but is definitely wasn't the last."
She must have fallen asleep, because when Clary woke with a jolt, the sky outside had darkened considerably. She was cold, and noticed she'd fallen asleep on top of the covers, exhausted by the day's events. For a moment she wondered what had woken her up, but then she heard voices drifting up from downstairs. At first it seemed to be just Valentine and Sebastian who were arguing, but all too soon she noticed that there were more voices, all male.
Clary couldn't understand what they were talking about, but it didn't sound very friendly, so she decided to stay quiet so as not to attract any unwanted attention.
It didn't take long however for her door to be shoved open to have Sebastian appear, a crooked vile smile plastered on his face.
He didn't speak, just grabbed Clary by the arm and pushed her out of the room. A blind panic took hold of Clary and she struggled violently, trying to get free.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Sebastian hissed. "Keep this up and I will throw you down the stairs." They were indeed approaching the end of the upstairs landing and Clary had a feeling that the man holding her wasn't bluffing, so she held still."That's better."
Once downstairs Clary saw that there were four men in the living room, sitting next to Valentine. Her stomach dropped considerably as one of them got up and approached her, while Sebastian had a firm hold on her arm, keeping them pinned behind her back. The man circled her, taking in every aspect. Then he motioned to the others who got up and joined the first. They spoke softly, in a language Clary didn't recognise, but it sounded like they were giving her a score, pointing at her and smirking. By the looks of it Valentine knew exactly what they were talking about. His smile grew wider by the second and he kept glancing at Sebastian, nodding all the while. Clary kept her mouth shut, teeth clenched, but if looks could kill the entire room would have been slain by now.
When the men were done they went back to Valentine and Sebastian dragged Clary over to the side of the room where he chained her to the heater and gagged her with a piece of cloth that stank of years of disuse and made Clary nearly throw up. He joined his father after that.
"What do you think?" Valentine said when everyone was settled.
"She's pretty, albeit it a bit skinny. But she's got some fire in her, I can see that." one of the men replied. He had a heavy accent Clary couldn't pinpoint.
"She's new to the scene?" another one asked.
"Yes," came Sebastian's reply, "But that will be remedied. She'll be here for a while before any other steps will be taken."
The man nodded his approval.
Clary's head was racing. She couldn't make sense of the conversation other than that she felt like she was being sold. Some bargain was being struck between all these men, and whatever they had in store for her, she was sure it wouldn't be pleasant.
"We will return in a week to see the progress you have made with her. If it pleases us, you have yourself a deal." the first man said, and with that he and friends stood up, they all shook hands and left.
Jace wanted to grab hold of his umpteenth cup of coffee, but Luke stopped him.
"I think you've had enough of that, Jace. If I'm not careful some nurse will be after my blood for not taking proper care of a recovering patient of her and she'll kick me out. Take a cup of tea instead."
Jace just nodded and took another cup. He was tired, telling his story was draining him at an unimaginable rate.
"Let's take a break." Luke suggested.
"No." Jace replied. "I've started, now I have to finish it. There is no way I can muster enough energy to start this again once I've stopped."
"Jace, you look like you're about to faint." Luke said. "I need to make sure you don't do yourself damage."
"There is little more that can happen right now that would make things worse, is there?"
"I know it seems like that, but going past what you can endure right now just isn't good."
"Luke… please, I need to finish this…" Jace pleaded.
"Alright, just finish your coffee. I'll go grab something to eat and we'll get on from there." Luke said, and Jace nodded. He knew he needed a break, but the idea of having to start again was daunting. He was so very tired and the coffee was the only thing that kept him going. Trying to make sure he wouldn't fall asleep while Luke was gone Jace stood up and walked over to the window. He gasped a little when his bare feet touched the cold tiled floor, but it helped revive him a little.
There was a gasp behind him that drew his attention and turning around he found Alec standing in the door.
"Alec?" Jace asked. "Are you alright?"
Alec shook his head, a bit like a dog trying to get water out of his ears, and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." He said.
"No you're not." Jace replied. "You look as white as a sheet. Seen a ghost?"
Alec shook his head and sat down on the bed. "No, it's just…" his voice faltered.
"You saw my back?" Jace asked him softly as he sat next to his brother.
"Yes." Alec whispered. "I never realised how bad it was. And now I understand why you never went swimming without your shirt, or why, at times, you'd be 'ill' during gym class. My god Jace, why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I couldn't, Alec, I really couldn't. Even now, talking to Luke, is really hard. The only reason I'm doing it is because of Clary. I can't let anything happen to her because of me. You've already gotten hurt and now Clary, it's just too much."
"I know, I just wish there was something I could have done all those years. So much has happened, you've endured so much, and I feel like I failed you as a friend and as a brother. I should have known something was wrong."
"You couldn't have known Alec, I was too good at hiding it. When I arrived in your family, I had already gotten really good at hiding any visible marks of whatever Valentine had done to me. He taught me, you know, how to cover bruises and how to clean and bandage cuts and scrapes. Whenever he did what he did, he made me swear not to tell my mom, because she'd be hurt, and she'd know how badly I had behaved. And I didn't want to hurt her, because she was hurting so bad already from losing my father. So I hid whatever evidence there was and just tried harder not to make Valentine angry. So by the time I came to live here, there was no way anyone would be able to tell. You didn't know me before it all started, so for you the fact that I was withdrawn at times was simply part of me."
Luke came back in the room, carrying two packages of sandwiches and two cokes.
"I thought you could use some food." He said, offering one of the sandwiches to Jace.
"Thanks." He said, and moved over to the table.
"I'm going, mom said she wanted to see me so I'll give her a call to come over." Alec said standing up. " Let me know if there is something I can do."
Jace nodded and mumbled thanks around a mouthful of bacon sandwich.
"Ready to continue?" Luke asked once they had both finished their lunch.
"No really, but then again, I'll have to get through it, don't I?"
"I'm afraid so, yes."
"Well, then we best get going again."
Luke nodded and turned to get the recorder set up again.
"You ended, telling me about the first time Valentine got violent with you. Can you pick it up again from there?"
"Yes." Jace said, his eyes distant as if looking at something Luke couldn't see.
"The first time was a shock. I hadn't seen it coming and I truly didn't understand why he had done it. I hadn't heard a word of what he had said and I told him so. But that didn't help, not at all. He just got angrier with me, threatening to hurt me again for lying to him. He simply didn't believe me. The weeks that followed the first incident were quite. I tried to stay away from him as much as possible, but since he was our regular babysitter when my mom had to work, that wasn't easy. Bit by bit he had worked his way into our family and it didn't take him all that long to become a near constant presence in the house. And with him being there so often, the threats and beatings became more and more regular. At first it was just being backhanded across the face, but after a while I think he knew it would be hard to keep putting the bruises off to soccer accidents of walking into a door. So he became more cunning, hitting me there where it wouldn't show if I dressed properly. And he thought me how to cover up the bruises and tend to cuts and scrapes. And then, one day, I broke a glass. I was putting it away from the dishwasher and it slipped out of my hand.
Valentine got so angry at me. First he made me clean up the mess and told me to go up to my room once I was done. He followed me upstairs a few minutes later holding his belt in his hands. He made me take off my shirt and bend over the bed and then he hit me, ten times, and he made me count each one of the lashes out loud. I screamed and tried to wriggle away, but he simply put his hand on the back of my neck, pinning me in place. Once he was done he got up and simply left me there."
Jace's face was hard, almost mask like, trying to hide his emotions, or maybe, just trying to control them. Luke just looked at him, unsure whether he wanted to be comforted or to be left alone.
"Things went on like that for a long time." Jace continued. "And the few times my mother asked about a bruise she had seen or the fact that I become very much withdrawn, I just brushed it off, saying I didn't feel well or that I missed my father. It was enough to keep her satisfied and stop her asking questions. I did everything I could think of to keep Valentine satisfied, but every time he managed to find something new to get angry over, to blow up, … " His voice trailed off.
His hands were balled in fists, holding on tight to the blankets on the bed. Luke moved over and sat next to Jace, putting his hands big hands protectively over the boy's. Jace looked up, his eyes blank.
"What happened to your mother, Jace?" Luke asked
Jace just shook his head, feeling like the world had tilted and left him clinging on to the edge.
"She vanished." He whispered. "One day, almost a year after my father had died, and a week before my tenth birthday, I got home and she was supposed to be there, but she wasn't. All her stuff was gone from the house too, like she had never lived there. But Valentine was there, of course. And he told me that my mom had up and left me, that she had found out about all the things I had done wrong in the past months and that she just couldn't take it anymore. He said she didn't want me anymore and that was the reason she had left, without telling me.
"He told me that it was all my fault. Ever since my father had died I'd been getting into trouble. I missed him terribly and with Valentine around so often my nerves were shot. I would lash out at kids at school or at teachers for no apparent reason just because he kept me on my toes all the time. The combined pressure of wanting to get good grades at school and keeping him happy enough so I wouldn't end up beaten into a pulp every other day was simply too much. And despite me trying my hardest to be good, my mother had found out about it, and she must have hated me for it. He gave me the worst beating ever that day, making sure I understood that all the blame for the entire situation came on me. I was the reason my mother had gone, I was a disappointment to her and had brought shame on the family with my behavior. I hated myself for it, I still do…"
Jace's voice was hard and cold, all emotion drained from it. He stared into the distance, not even noticing that tears were rolling down his face.
"I cried for days," he continued. "not getting out of bed. The police came by and the questioned me, and Valentine and the Lightwoods too. I had heard that both Valentine and the Lightwoods had applied to become my foster family and I prayed, maybe for the first time in my life, I prayed that I could go live with the Lightwoods. Even then, my ten year old mind knew that if I had to go and live with Valentine I wouldn't survive it. And my prayers were answered. The court decided that it would be better for me to actually live with a family, with other kids and both a mother and a father to take care of me rather than a man alone who, as far as anyone knew, had no children. For the first time in over a year I had some semblance of hope."
Clary had been left, chained to the wall and gagged after the men had left. Neither Valentine or Sebastian had returned immediately after that, and Clary was wondering what they were planning to do with her. Her back and arms ached from being in the same position for far too long, and her mouth was dry from the cloth Sebastian had used to gag her. She had tried to pull at her bonds, but it didn't help. On the contrary, it only made them tighter around her wrists, almost cutting off her blood supply to her hands.
When she heard the front door rattle, she saw that both men had come back inside, carrying bags full of groceries. Without any explanation Sebastian came over to her and untied the gag and her bonds. He pulled her up and shoved her towards the kitchen.
"We bought food and other necessities, so I suggest you start cooking. We are hungry." Valentine said, and Clary gaped at him.
"Are you serious?" She said.
"Yes, very much so."
"I'm not going to cook for you. You have kidnapped me and now you expect what? Having me act like a housemaid or something? Really, I don't think so."
"I suggest you mind your tone and just do whatever we tell you to do. I don't take kindly to being disregarded."
"You better get used to it." Clary spat. "I'm not cooking."
Suddenly Valentine was standing next to her. He had moved so fast that Clary had almost missed his movements. He grabbed her by the hair, pulling hard and making her scream in pain.
"You get one last chance before I get really angry. Get cooking or bear the consequences." He growled in her ear. But Clary just pushed and shoved at him and screamed "I won't." at the top of her lungs. Valentine proceeded to grab Clary by the arms and shoving her roughly towards Sebastian who caught hold of her before she tripped and fell over.
"Hold on the her for me son." Valentine said, and left the room.
"You," Sebastian said softly, "Are about to experience what happens to those who disrespect my father."
Clary shuddered but kept quiet. She knew she had crossed a line, but every fibre in her being protested against her treatment. She simply wasn't the submissive kind of girl and she would never forgive herself for just bending to her captor's will.
Valentine came back, holding a long, wide leather strap in his hands. He nodded to Sebastian who pulled Clary to the table and forced her to bend at the waist. As he stood at the opposite side of the piece of furniture he kept a firm hold on her wrists, making it impossible to move away.
Valentine let the strap fall down on the table next to Clary's head, making her jump.
"Now, let's see how well you manage to withstand this." He hissed and he tore her shirt open at the back.
Clary whimpered, grabbing hold of the side of the table, hoping against hope to keep from screaming. But it was all in vain. The first lash bit into her back, sending spikes of pain up her spine and she screamed, it was all she could do. After the tenth lash, she passed out.
When Clary woke again, the first thing in her mind was that it was all a bad dream. That she was waking up to find Jace lying next to her, holding her to keep the nightmares at bay. But as she moved and a sharp pain, bad enough to make her knees buckle, lanced up her back she was reminded forcefully of where she was and what had happened. Tears welled up and spilled unbidden over her cheeks. She could barely move, but was in such need of a shower that she eventually crawled over to the bathroom and collapsed in the shower. It took her ages to find her bearings and get up, get the water running and hope for the best as she stepped under the hot stream. For a moment she cried out as it felt like the water scorched her back. But after a minute the pain subsided and her muscles started to relax. Tears were still pouring down, but they weren't tears of self-pity, they were tears for Jace, for the unimaginable pain he'd had to endure for years on end. She couldn't imagine living like this. His back had been beaten bloody on more than one occasion, and she stood here, crying while for her it were simple welts, no blood had been drawn.She had to move forward. If Jace had been able to ensure this for years on end, then she could endure this one time beating.
And with that though, she decided that she would not just suffer whatever Valentine had in mind for her. She had to find her way out of there, get a message to Luke or Jace, something to make sure that this monster was caught and put behind bars for the rest of his miserable life.
So Clary got up, despite the pain shooting through her body, and looked out of the window. There had to be some kind of landmark she could recognise. Something she could convey to whoever would be coming here. She needed to get her hands on a phone. She knew both Luke's and Simon's number by heart. Jace's too, but he'd be too worried and too hurt to help.
Valentine had said she could walk around the house, but that had been before she disobeyed him and had been flogged for it.
But deciding it couldn't get much worse than this she went on and opened her bedroom door. When she arrived downstairs no one was there. The house was utterly silent, giving off an unpleasant air of abandonment. If she was indeed alone, This was her chance to get around the house. Having heard dogs bark outside had made Clary decide against going outside, Valentine's threat of the guard dogs still fresh in her mind.
Walking through the house have her some idea of the layout. She made tea, not finding any coffee, and held the hot mug between her cold hands.
For a moment fear and desperation took control of her mind and Clary dat back in the sofa. Something hard poked her I'm the backside and she jumped up, spilling hot tea all over her hands. Swearing colorfully, something she had picked up from Jace, she got up and looked behind her. And to her astonishment, there was a cell phone, tucked between the pillows of the sofa.
Clary grabbed hold of it, just as she heard the front door open. She jammed the phone in the back pocket of her jeans, grabbed hold of her mug of tea and sprinted up the stairs, back to her room. She needed to hide that phone before anyone came in.
Simon, and Magnus had pulled the car over about fifteen minutes before they would arrive at their destination. Night had sent in properly and neither of them felt comfortable approaching the whole enterprise in the dark. On the other hand, they would benefit of the cover of darkness to look around and find clues.
"So, what do you think?" Simon asked, trying to find a more comfortable position in the car seat after hours of almost non-stop driving.
"I think we have to go on. We park the car a mile or so away from the house and go on by foot. That way they'll probably won't notice us coming up so soon. If we find any clue what so ever we call Luke for backup." Magnus replied and started the car again.
The entire trip had passed in near total silence, neither of the men in the car had felt any need for talk. And now as they neared their goal, the tension became more palpable by the minute. Both of them were worried about Clary, and about Jace. Simon felt like he had landed in some bad detective series and had a nagging feeling that at any time something was about to go seriously wrong. He knew they had made the right decision by going here by themselves and leaving Luke to talk to Jace, but nonetheless he was jittery and his nerves were about to take over.
"We're here." Magnus said, a lot sooner than Simon had anticipated. "It's best we leave the car here, I can already see some lights shining up ahead and I really don't want to take any more risks than necessary." He let the engine of the car die and got out. Simon followed, his mind on Clary and thinking about how she might need him. If Jace's condition was anything to go by, Valentine was a man without a conscious and he feared the state they might find his best friend in.
"Let's go." Said Magnus and Simon quickly fell into step next to him, holding on to a big flashlight in case he might have to hit someone over the head with it.
A/N So what do you think??